Art and Lawlessness

On our very first day here, wandering about, minding our own bizyness, we were nearly busted.

The hell you say?

Yup. Oi. Ja and oopsie.

We were headed down rue Sainte Catherine after a long day of aimless exploring. Our dogs were barking and snarling at us about their immediate need for elevation and a massage. Sit, have a glass of vino, stop walking for just one hour please. We don’t ask for much! Our feetsies are such nags.

We came to a crowded intersection. All of us lovely pedestrian types were waiting for the light to change so’s we could move. Jen and I, being Bostonians, looked both ways. No vehicles were headed our way so we crossed. Yes, before the walk sign flashed.

Cool right? WRONG.

Two very polite gents tried to stop us. Apparently they were calling to us—I didn’t see them. Jen, figuring them for asshole vagrants, kept moving with a grim ‘go the fuck away' look on her face.  The men appeared in my peripheral vision, trying to get my attention. I saw badges and called to Jen, who’d pulled ahead, to stop. Nope. She shakes me off, gives me the ‘I’m not in the mood to talk to strange men’ look and begins to walk on. 'Jen, no, they’re cops!'

So yeah, then we stopped.

Given that I’m deaf (‘member?) I’d no idea what was going on. I was stunned and, though they knew English, I fell into signing. Panicky signing ‘what’s wrong?!,’ ‘what’s the problem?!’

Jen explained to them that I’m deaf. They communicated with her. It was easier.

What was our crime? Jaywalking. JAYWALKING! Jen laughed (maybe not best thing to do with officers of the law BUT she and I often laugh when freaked) and said ‘oh sorry, we’re from Boston—everyone jaywalks there.’ They replied that this is the case in Montreal too BUT you don’t do it right in front of two policemen.

Oh. Oopsie.

They smilingly allowed that they could fine us $52 each OR they could haul us into jail. OH NOS! Whether they did or not rested on our answer to one big question—were we Bruins fans? Hah! I replied ‘who?’  Jen replied ‘no, no, we’re big Canadiens fans!’ Who?

Yes big laughs all around and they let us go with a warning—don’t jaywalk in front of cops. They were very nice.

From there we carefully walked down to rue Saint-Paul where we found loads of shops selling Canadian sport team paraphernalia, an art gallery with the most insipid, sexually idealized and romanticized, bullshit paintings and sculptures of women. I figured the painter for a dude who says he loves women (what he means is, ‘I love sex and the mega adulation chicks pay me when I paint them’) and uses ‘I’d love to paint you’ as a pick up line.

Nope, a woman. Her work is like a soft porn Disney version of John William Waterhouse.

And then the palate cleanser—Galerie Images Boréales. They've a tremendous collection of Inuit sculpture, carvings, paintings and prints. Wonderful!