Sometimes...

It takes a while to release all the built up stress and tension. With the imminent possibility of losing an eye (on TOP of being deaf!) I had a ginourmous hod of that hot fear shit in my system. This past Monday I found out that my wonky left eyeball WILL have a happily-ever-after (as far as can be seen) and that will begin on June 18th. So, I’m in the clear right?

Yes but I’m still giving the stress monster a free ride – a less thrill and chill packed one BUT I just gotta get this beast off-a me.

Now then, I’d never be confused with a *CHING* chilled to the max, mellow yellow and don’t bogart that joint kind of a babe. My usual, resting (versus rant) state is generally less amped than it is right now though.

I’ve got too much damn leftover tension coursing through my blood, muscles and bones. It's:

1. Making me tired ALL the damn time. It’s hard enough to get my lazy ass to the gym – this, despite my deep pool-love AND the knowledge that exercise is the only antidepressant that works for me. I RILLY don’t need 1,000 naps getting in my way. Hmmmph!
2. Making me WANT to eat entire BIG bags of popcorn, maybe three (yes, the outside of the package says 35 calories but that’s for one lousy cup). I could, easily, follow the pupcahn (as we call it here in Valhalla by the Sea) with 20 of Fratelli’s Champagne Cookies (at 115 calories PER. Do the math – this ain’t smart). Given #1, if I indulge my stress inspired urges, I’m gonna blow up to hippo size by Sunday.Somehow, I find this unappealing.
3. I’ve got all kinds of new little aches and pains from my perma-tensed muscles. *groan*

It’s time to seriously step up my deep breathing gymnastics before I do some damage. That and, now that Doc Jacobs has cleared me to get in the water again, I’ve gotta start my meditative laps back up. Oooo, and beginning a new painting always helps too.

Seems strange to be all fired up, organized and determined about relaxing. Shouldn’t the release of tension be more…dunno…easy and RELAXING! Why can’t I release tension (and NOT gain weight) by laying in bed reading, munching on M&Ms and veggie tempura?

I 'M ASKIN YA!