Lifesucking Clowns

Edvard Munch—Love and Pain

When a few book reviews claimed a vampire mystery was funny I believed it. ALSO, it had amusing title. Imagine my surprise when it turned out to be a horror story with children and vulnerable people as victims. It read way too much as a metaphor for children, disabled folks and elder abuse. The Tangerine Twat squad is already targeting me—I need serious escapism, not thinly veiled reality tales.

Now then, I despise sparkly, romance style vamp tales but something like Christopher Moore’s Bloodsucking Fiends or You Suck or an offering from MaryJanice Davidson’s Undead series would do the trick.

Or something similar—I’m thinking Dracula as written by Mark Twain, Terry Pratchett, Kurt Vonnegut or John Scalzi…ya know? I'm taking a pass on Grady Hendrix's timid, over-the-top polite heroine in The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires.
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The dress code for the Pope’s funeral? Wear black.

What color was the Manchurian Cantaloupe’s suit? A medium sapphire-ish blue.

Maybe none of Dimbulb Donnie’s aides remembered to show him pictures of what he was supposed to wear? Possibly he finds blue more conducive to his public napping habit?
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A bunch of buffalos is called a herd.
A party of wolves is a pack.
A gathering of crows is a murder
A group of lions is called a pride.
A group of Republicans should be called a disgrace. A disgrace of Republicans. Sounds accurate.
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Who the fuck is Katy Perry?

The Interwebz tell me she’s a pop star, famous for a string of anthemic and often sexually suggestive hit songs, as well as for a playfully cartoonish sense of style. Her songs have been described as vapid. Rolling Stone called her The Queen of Camp. A 21st century Madonna maybe?

Wikipedia tells me she’s a singer, songwriter, and celebrity gameshow player.

No wonder I’ve not heard of her. Even if I still had my hearing, my musical tastes never overlapped much with pop music. Sure, when I was 10 I had 45s of 1910 Fruitgum Company. Three Dog Night was cool. I adored The Monkees. BUT, early on (age 12?) I was getting into more lyrically and/or melodically challenging stuff. Was I a deep kid? No more than anyone else my age but, when the father you adore blasts Dylan, Bach, Woody Guthrie, and Tchaikovsky at dinner; when your rare childhood vacations are camping and folk festivals, your tastes are maybe gonna lean in a more cerebral direction.

Back to Ms. Perry though…why is she considered problematic now? Is her music out of fashion? Are her fans bored with her theatrics? Is she just aging out of the ephemeral world of teenybopper superstardom? The public’s ready for a new theatrical pop diva?

Yeah, probably.

I do like what she said about that ridiculous 11 minute publicity stunt—the inner space rocket tour she took. Perry said she was going to “put the ass in astronaut.” With her operatically kissing the ground when they landed, she sure did.

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So there are 195 countries on Earth but Von ShitzInPantz claims he's already "made 200 deals" on tariffs? Possibly this includes deals with penguins on otherwise uninhabited islands. Treason Turd also says he’s in talks with China, on whom he laid the steepest of tariffs. Aaaaaah, the Foreign Ministry spokesperson Guo Jiakun called his claim "fake news."

On Friday, the Jiakun said "China and the United States have not consulted or negotiated on the tariff issue" and "the United States should not confuse the public.” (source)

It appears, shockingly, the deep-in-mental-decline grifting clown is, as usual, lying.