Crap

Next week I’m meeting my new primary care physician (previous one retired early and I’m NOT unhappy about that). I’m at a general practice that’s connected to MGH – new guy’s her replacement. He’s young and a DO versus an MD. He’s an osteopath. ‘the fuck is an osteopath? 

“Osteopathic medicine is a distinctive branch of medical practice in the U.S. that emphasizes a “whole-person” approach to diagnosis, treatment and patient care.” 
~~~
One unique aspect of DO education, and the main difference from an MD education, is additional training in osteopathic manipulative treatment (OMT), which is the therapeutic application of manual techniques (such as stretching, gentle pressure and resistance) to diagnose, treat and prevent illness or injury. (source) 

Whoa, this is giving off some crystals, burning sage, ivermectin, testicle tanning vibes. WTF! If he mentions Reiki or wellness farms, I’m outta there.

My reason for going in is the off and on interior numbness in my left calf and foot and swelling in my left ankle. This, if you recall, is the leg that, in a post brain surgery snit, quit communicating with my brain (or vice versa). My recent brain and spine MRIs showed no growth of my extant crew of bastard meningiomas and no new mobility threatening motherfuckers (I’ll talk about this more with Doc Plotkin next week to see if there's any other fuckery afoot). So, I’m looking into other possible causes. 

Maybe a gang of semi rabid squirrels have taken up residence in my leg. I’m not a tiny woman – falling somewhere between snack-size and family bulk pack – but a small fam of Bornean Pygmy Squirrels might fit in comfortably.

So, it’s time to consult the brandy new general practice doc who, I’ve just noticed, specializes in geriatrics. How convenient – I seem to fit into that category. Maybe it’s just me but I find it interesting that a young guy is specializing in old people healthcare. What’s the draw? Yeah sure, if he’s lucky one day he’ll be old too but how can he otherwise possibly relate? Has new guy known a shitload of oldsters, a hugely varied lot of us geezers, AND he rocks some superhero level empathy? 

Is this anything like why a male doctor would become an obstetrician and/or gynecologist? Is it pure scientific interest? Compassion? A dedication to the, generally, more vulnerable?

Frankly, if new guy has decent levels of curiosity, a willingness to learn (given the relative rareness of neurofibromatosis type 2 and the doc’s youth, I’m betting he’s not too familiar with my pet disease), isn’t full of himself, and doesn’t try to balance my chakras or cure my lovely NF2 with feng shui, purple microdot, a raw food diet, having my cards read, and praying to white Jesus, I’ll be willing to give him a chance. (NB: I probably wouldn't turn down the microdot despite its dubious curative abilities)

What I expect is for him to order up an X-ray or a CAT scan or do whatever test is needed in order to figure out what the fuck’s causing the swelling in my ankle. I’m not in pain or having any extra weakness. It’s not brain surgery and I’ve already got a couple dudes for that anyway.

This, on top of my ongoing dental issues, is just annoying as all hell. Is it not enough already that this stupid body is riddled with stupid tumors? I mean, why do I have to put up with other pesky shit on top of that?! Is this fair? NO, it is not! Dammit.

I’m an older woman in crap health and I’m really pissed off. Obvs.