The Brits have a wide variety of amusing slams that don’t employ the vulgarisms of which I’m so fond. Fer instance:
Muppet
An airhead or incompetent person
You absolute muppet, you voted for the man who makes sewer clowns look sane and smart.
Turnip
A stupid or slow person
Stop being such a mashed turnip—of course the price of mobiles will double and triple as soon as the orange muppet starts with his tariff nonsense.
Numpty
An incompetent or unwise person
Only a stone numpty would trust the tangerine turnip about anything.
Short for "divot," meaning a stupid person
Stop being a melted div and pay attention to what these numpties do, not say.
Plank
Someone who's notably stupid
MAGAts—they’re all thick as planks with ten coats of paint.
Tosser
Someone who behaves like an idiot or engages in questionable behavior
The second he’s sworn in that fluorescent, weaselly tosser is going to run to Putin, his puppet master, with all the state secrets.
Someone who's being spineless and useless
Even Susan Collins, the wet sock, has “concerns” about tosser Trump’s cabinet nominees.
Wet Noodle
Limp or flaccid, such as a pasta that has been soaked in water
The Fascist Party’s Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson, is nothing but a wet noodle—and that’s on his best days.
Butters
Ugly or unattractive
How is it that so many of the tangerine tosser’s devoted sycophants have had nearly identical, truly nasty plastic surgery? They look absolutely butters.
I think we can expand on these no-naughty-words slams.
How about:
Expired Coupon
Someone truly useless but keep hanging on, hoping to be valued again
Ted Cruz is an expired coupon. A limping toad would make better use of the oxygen he’s currently sucking down.
A greedy person
Leon MusKKK is nothing but a drug addicted, racist, misogynistic, clueless gannet.
Gas Station Sushi
Sushi that is purchased at a gas station. It’s badly prepared, not safe to eat, and usually stale too. Only RFK jr would eat gas station sushi. In short, a really bad and dangerous idea.
Kash Patel for FBI director? RFK jr. as Health and Human Services lead? Tulsi Gabbard in charge of national intelligence? These people make gas station sushi look smart and appetizing.
A shopping cart with one annoying malfunctioning wheel.
I’d name Lindsey Graham as the wonky grocery cart of congress except for the fact that NONE of his wheels work to factory specs.
Pick-me
Someone who is attention-seeking or trying too hard. They act against the interests of their own group in the hope of obtaining majority favor.
Nancy Mace, Marge Greene, and Lauren Boebert are all ludicrously inane pick-mes. 
Blatherskite
A person who talks at great length without making much sense.
The ballistic sewer clown who’s been elected to the highest office in the land is nothing but a gibbering blatherskite.
See, I’m counting on remaining amongst the living, snarking, and slamming for awhile longer. Given this, I need to enhance and augment my arsenal of insults. After all, even I can become weary of the usual profane descriptors.
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