Week One

We’re one week into Hell. How’s it goin’ so far?

The Department of Defense is now the the Drunk, White Supremacist Frat House. To paraphrase Dean Wormer—corrupt, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
Trump and his pet alky announced yesterday that they’re going to get an Iron Dome defense system just like Bibi’s. Are they really so stupid that they think an Iron Dome, like Israel’s, would work here? (yes, yes they are)

I mean, a simple google shows me that:

∆    Iron Dome is designed to intercept short-range rockets, not intercontinental ballistic missiles.

∆    Each Iron Dome system can only defend an area of roughly 150 square miles. We would need to deploy more than 24,700 Iron Dome batteries to defend the 3.7 million square miles of the continental United States. At $100 million per battery, that would be approximately $2,470,000,000,000. (that’s trillions!)

∆    Iron Dome is designed to intercept relatively primitive rockets and mortars that travel under 44 miles. That is fine if you want to defend San Diego from rockets launched from Tijuana, some 35 miles away. But the system couldn’t even protect Mar-a-Lago from missiles fired from the Bahamas, some 80 miles away. (source)

By the by, I’m AOK with being unable to defend Mar-a-Lago.

Iron Dome works in Israel because:

∆    Israel (8,630 square miles) is about the size of New Jersey (8,723 square miles)
∆    Israel’s enemies are all right fucking next door to them, NOT an entire bloody ocean away!

Remember Ronnie RayGun’s Star Wars boondoggle bullshit?

On March 23, 1983, President Ronald Reagan shocked the national security establishment by calling upon the nation's scientific community, "who gave us nuclear weapons, to turn their great talents to the cause of mankind and world peace: to give us the means of rendering these weapons impotent and obsolete." Seventeen years have passed since that speech, and the United States has spent more than $60 billion trying to develop a defense against ballistic missiles (that’s, more or less, $190 billion in 2025 buckos). The Strategic Defense Initiative (SDI, or "Star Wars") and its successors have cost more than twice as much as the Manhattan Project (in constant dollars), but these programs have yet to produce a single workable weapon. This "achievement" is probably a record in the annals of defense procurement: never has so much been spent for so long with so little to show for it.
~ from Frances FitzGerald's book Way Out There In the Blue: Reagan, Star Wars and the End of the Cold War

Meanwhile…

The plastic not-so-fantastic, Mar-a-Lago faced lying sack of diarrheal frog feces, Kristi Noem: pet assassin, is now leading Homeland Security in keeping us all safe from misbehaving puppies and goats.

Teslas are now formally known as Swasticars. They’re also called KKK Kars. Co-president Leon is boosting Germany’s far right new Nazis, the Alternative für Deutschland (AfD) party. Way to go USA. We’ve not only unleashed the smelly toddler thug, we’ve given his banjaxed brained bestie a worldwide platform too.

If Brainworm Bobby is confirmed as head of Health and Human Services, the department name will be changed to the Department of Roadkill and Heroin. This rich, delulu imbecile can’t even keep a tapeworm alive let alone you or I.

If Tulsi Gabbard is voted in as director of national intelligence, her office will be known as the US division of Kremlin Propaganda.  Obvs.

Telegenic, self-dealing fraud, Mehmet Oz, will turn the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid into Quacks, Snake Oil, and Scams R Us.

AND Doug Burgum, recent Governor of North Dakota and five time plaintiff in suits against the Department of the Interior, is a big boy cheerleader for oil and gas drilling. Also coal. Now known as the Drill Baby Drill Department, one of its agencies oversees water policy. Maybe ol’ Dougie will find that mythical spigot in the Pacific Northwest? California’s wildfire crisis might be over soon!

Welcome to Hell, mes amis.