Mostly Star Trek

It seems we’re having a full on Jeri Ryan weekend here in Valhalla.

My only complaint about Seven of Nine's USS Voyager entrée is the hemispherical bowling ball sized headlights she’s sporting. I mean, I had no idea that the Borg were that into extreme pushup bras, H. R. Giger, and Boris Vallejo.

What were the powers that be on the Voyager production team thinking when designing Seven’s costume? I know, they weren’t thinking—they were gleefully waxing their wee carrots like teen boys in mom's basement. None of the other characters—female or male—are dressed in skintight, boobily enhanced costumes.

We also took in a couple of Ryan’s appearances on Leverage. She plays an incredibly talented grifter who’s subbing for Sophie who’s gone off to find herself (the actor playing Sophie, Gina Bellman, was off on pregnancy leave). Gotta say, Jeri Ryan’s a great actor. She could play every single part in Hamlet, Animal House or Terminator and just kill.

In other long weekend news, Presidents Stinky and Leon are, perhaps, only now discovering Vice Prez Couchfuck. In ShitzenPantz and Space Karen’s kakistocratic frenzy they’d totally forgotten about him. I wish I could too. Was what’s-his-name’s performance in Germany enough to score him an invite to their next bullying and bullshit orgy or no?

Meanwhile, I see that Drunk Hogsbreath hasn’t stopped drinking (as promised) now that he’s won the Sec of Defense gig (for which he’s laughably, spectacularly unqualified). In fact he was caught balls out drinking on the job, at the podium as he’s giving a speech in Brussels. Was he sipping his whiskey to stave off the DTs or did he just forget that water exists? One of his aides claimed it was nonalcoholic whiskey. Sure Jan.

Someone on Threads said Hogsbutt looked hungover at the press conference—constantly taking sips of some liquid or another, all while proving himself incapable of giving coherent answers.

I guess being Defense Secretary requires a more evolved skill set than spewing lies from a comfy chair on a Fox teevee set.

By the by, the Nazi furniture assaulter and Wankstain von Boozehound perfectly illustrate the current state of the US government. We're SO fucked.

Back to important Star Trek stuff though. I’ve been so confused as to the order of all the shows—especially where the Borg are concerned.

The Original Series, set between 2151 and 2156, ran from 1966 to 1969—no Borg. 

The Next Generation, set 200 years later in 2364 to 2370, ran from 1987 to 1994. The Borg’s first appearance is in the ep Q Who.

Deep Space Nine, set in 2369 to 2375, aired from 1993 to 1999. The Borg appear in just one episode, Emissary. They’re a big deal in Commander Benjamin Sisko's  backstory though. His wife, Jennifer, was killed by the Borg during the Battle of Wolf 359.

Voyager takes place in the years 2371-2378 and was on teevee from 1995 to 2001. The Borg show up a lot in Voyager, including the eps Blood Fever, Unity, Scorpion (parts one and two), The Raven, and Collective.

Discovery (2017-2024) is a bit complicated. Seasons one and two are set between the Original Series and Next Generation—2256 and 2258. At the end of season two part of the crew jumps through a wormhole and time jumps, ending up in the 32nd century. There were Borg pre time jump but not post jump. 

Strange New Worlds takes place in the year 2259. The show is set in the 23rd century, a few years before the events of the Original Series so, no Borg yet. Strange New World’s third season is in production now and scheduled to come out later this year. Awesome!

Picard, this mixed bag of a show (on teevee from 2020-2023) focused on retired Starfleet Admiral Jean-Luc Picard and begins at the end of the 24th century, 20 years after his last appearance. The Borg are featured in the second and third seasons. They’re sort of neutralized when Dr. Agnes Jurati, Picard’s key cyberneticist, merges with the Borg Queen.  

Yes, I’m totally geeking out this weekend and I’m NOT sorry about this AT ALL.