Ēostre and Ripley

You remember the pagan goddess of spring, Ēostre, don’t you? She was also said to be the goddess of fertility, (hence, eggs). She occasionally appeared as a rabbit.

How did we get eggs from rabbits? The story goes like this—in a freezing winter, Ēostre found a wounded bird. No specific species is specified but we can imagine it was an adorable long tailed tit…K? She wanted the birdie to survive so *BOOM* she turned the wee thing into a bunny. Makes sense, don’t it? I mean, rabbits have fur coats and all. Fluffy was apparently still part tit so she laid eggs. Our Fluffy was also an artist. AND that’s why we have painted eggs.

The Christian holiday is named after her. This is why we get chocolate bunnies and lovely, colorful eggs.

So yes, kids, the Easter bunny is a pagan goddess...nothing to do with some dude being cruelly murdered by a bunch of politicians pretending to be religious in order to gull the rubes. (some things never change, eh?)

Ēostre, by the by, is also the goddess of dawn. Cool.

Do you know what the ultimate Easter movie is? Alien Resurrection. Yes, absolutely!

It has Ellen Ripley—who IS the fertility goddess we all know we need. She comes back from the dead just like that Jesus guy. Unlike him, Ripley’s birthed a bouncing baby xenomorph. Like Jesus’ dad, Ripley must sacrifice her only begotten child in order to save Earth and humanity.

So, we have a god(dess), resurrection, child sacrifice, eggs, and the human race being saved from obliteration by a loving, unselfish god(dess). The only thing missing is the chocolate bunny.

I just heard that there will be a new Star Wars movie out next year. Ya know who one of the stars is? Sigourney Weaver! She plays a Rebel pilot and high ranking member of the New Republic's military. 

I AM psyched!