When your Iran War Is Going SO Bad…..

I mean, it’s going hideously, embarrassingly, shit-your-pants-while-giving-a-book-report-in-5th-grade bad. Don the Con’s found himself self neck-deep in toxically soiled Depends and no one’s coming to bail his capacious ass out. He's burnt WAY too many bridges.

What’s a cretinous, rabid rat, who's grown grotesquely obese on the suffering and lifeblood of others to do?

Dimwit Don’s Epstein Fury distraction buddy has fucked him over good on the ceasefire and continues to bomb the shit out of Lebanon. Why? Apparently Netanyahu was in a solid snit about that ceasefire. He didn’t like it AT ALL. Bibi wanted to bomb more innocents – he wanted to kill more people, spill more blood. So he did. 300 more people died because Donnie’s war bestie Bibi had a temper tantrum

Others have speculated that the attack – without warning and initially hitting more than 100 targets in 10 minutes including in densely populated residential areas in central Beirut – was aimed at undermining the US-Iran ceasefire that many see as being imposed on an unhappy Netanyahu.
~~~
The Israeli strikes came despite the fact that Hezbollah had said it had been “notified of a ceasefire” and had been “committed to it since this morning”, according to Lebanese political sources.
~~~
Netanyahu’s justification for such a horrific attack on civilian centres hours after the ceasefire had been announced appeared thin at least. His boasts about killing an aide to Qassem and his insistence of Israel’s right to continuing striking in Lebanon suggested to some that it was an attempt to act as a spoiler in a ceasefire he had argued against. (source) 

What’s a yutz from Queens gonna do when his back’s against the wall and his buddies are fucking him blind?  

Push the old soft porn model he married out in front of the cameras to lie and humiliate herself. Hey, it’s her turn to play the world’s stupidest human. Except for that empty headed, tone deaf, astoundingly ridiculous, propaganda “documentary,” Pedo’s been driving the technicolor crazy clownshit bus lately.

And sure, we’ll call Bezos' billionaire to billionaire bribe a “documentary.” Of course this just means I’m gonna to start referring to Debbie Does Dallas as serious sports journalism.

Melania claims she wasn’t friends with Epstein or Maxwell. Mel lies about as well as that stupid, orange makeup-plastered, weasel shit factory she’s married to though. In their email exchanges, Maxwell calls Mel "Sweet pea." Dunno about you but I call ALL my very casual acquaintances "Sweet pea." Don't you? 🙄

Melania addressed Ghislaine as “G” and signed off with Love. Kind of belies the whole casual correspondence claim, eh?

Mel says she “never had a relationship” with old Jeffy, the child raping, blackmailing, alleged Israeli spy BUT it’s common knowledge that Donnie and his bestie used to trade women and victimized children back and forth like toys. Who can we believe? Absolutely none of them, that's for damn sure.

The First Heaux said the claims of her relationship with Epstein and Maxwell were “defaming her reputation.”

Oh honey…
A) Her rep’s never been above gutter level. She defamed her own self when she hitched her g-string to the Epstein/Trump child rape, torture, trafficking, and blackmail machine. There’s too many pictures—she can’t successfully lie her way out now. 

B) The most honest thing she's said? “I am not Epstein’s victim.” No shit. She was a willing player. She was fucking her way into fame and fortune. What she got instead was infamy and fortune. Close enough if you’re born without a soul, ethics, or self-respect, I guess.

"The lies linking me with the disgraceful Jeffrey Epstein need to end today.” 

Or what, Babe? 

You know, discovery’s an unforgiving bitch. The Epstein files can and will be opened up more if she continues to make a big fuss and sue. It’s assumed by pretty much everyone around the world that she’s on the game and that Pedo’s just her main client now.

I’m going to bet Iran has the full Trumpstein files and videos. Maybe Mel’s little foot stomping presser is a precursor to a new, nasty, XXX rated LEGO video courtesy of Iran's clever trollworks.

I can't wait! Also, thank you for your attention to this matter.

Dashing Through the Light

In minutes I’ll be dashing off for my first MRI-a-thon of the month. Go me. 

I’ve prepped by NOT reading the news this morning and, in fact, staying off social media almost entirely. I deserve a cookie for this fine, advanced level of restraint. That chocolate chip macadamia nut baby will have to wait until my mouth heals up a bit more after Monday’s dental surgery (which was brutal but went much more quickly than I’d anticipated).

I've also had a calm-me-down pill which will, HOPEFULLY, kick in soon.

In any case, here are some of my abstracts that I’m going to try to keep my mind focused on whilst I’m in the tube attempting not to succumb to the demons of claustrophobia.

Wish me luck!

The Rapacious Ego

Yesterday – that was some motherfucking emotional abuse on a worldwide scale.

FEED MY EGO OR I’M GOING TO DESTROY THE WORLD!!! 

“A whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again. I don’t want that to happen, but it probably will.” (source) 

This is – I don’t want to hurt you but you’re forcing me to do this – on steroids.

That narcissistic, child raping bastard threatened genocide. The never to be brought back again theatrical rhetoric is a tell though. When he engages in that type of bombastic bullshit he’s faking it – acting. It's a con. He’s on stage, putting on a show for a rapt audience. We’re in his thrall. He thinks the world is believing every word.

Here’s the thing though – if the fate of mankind weren’t at stake, we sure as fuck would NOT be buying any of his bluster. This histrionic horseshit is so worn out, it’s tired, SO six seasons ago. I mean, it’s embarrassing. Except … what if he really means it this time? We can’t afford to NOT take him seriously.

What IF he’s really going to give the order to nuke the Middle East? We really can’t trust the military, now gutted of responsible, sane generals by Drunk Tank Pete, to do the right thing and refuse illegal orders.

Trump’s too fucking stupid to understand that nuking Iran would be the end of the world as we know it. The planet might survive. Humanity will not.

Nuclear fallout would spread across Iran’s borders. Winds would carry particles from Iran to Pakistan and northern India within 48 to 72 hours. Where else would it travel and how fast? How quickly would it get into the water? How long before China and Russia are affected? They’re not going to be too happy about that.

Does he not understand that Russia and China would react to our crazy aggression? We’re not the only nation with nuclear weapons ya know and, I only mention it, Russia and Iran are buddies. 

Prez Pedo is famous for NOT thinking ahead. He’s a complete bumbling idiot – forever failing upwards, relying on his feral instincts. He doesn't think – just bullies everyone standing in his way. I’m sure it’s never occurred to him that his boss Putin, his rival Xi, or his crush Kim Jong Un could/would just drop a nuke on DC, NYC, or Mar-a-Lago in retaliation. Hint … they totes would. They should start with Mar-a-Lago.

Pedo’s emotional abusive over the top theatrics have gotten so out of hand that he’s now even losing some of his Republican supporters like Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson, Texas Rep. Nathaniel Moran, and Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski. He’ll always have diehard suckers like Lindsey Graham (Trump MUST have some serious blackmail dirt on this spineless wonder), fellow Florida criminal Rick Scott, and Texas doofus Dan Crenshaw to name a few of his faithful cultists.

For what it’s worth though, he’s lost Marjorie Taylor Greene, Tucker Carlson, Alex Jones, Nick Fuentes, and Candace Owens. That’s something.

In Iran yesterday, people formed human chains across bridges and in front of power plants across the country to protest Pedo’s threat to bomb them back to the “Stone Age.” I guess they figured they were gonna die anyway, better to go out standing in protest.

Why did Pedo walk back his threat for his usual “two weeks” TACO? He got the attention he wanted. His ego was fed. He thinks he’s the king of the world now.

He’s insane. We need to go no contact NOW.

Scumbag From Another Planet

So, what’s that old teen sex trafficking, coke-happy, on-the-take, lying-ass, Mar-a-Lago faced Matty Gaetz (AKA Matt FiveHead) been up to since he resigned from Congress? Remember him? He’s the asshole with the distinction of being the only one of Prez Pedo’s incompetent Cabinet level nominees to be judged too odious for office even by the corrupt, lapdog GOP Senate + Fetterman.

Matt Gaetz claims US military is breeding aliens with abducted humans to make hybrid race

Ex Republican congressman Matt Gaetz made a bizarre claim that the U.S. military has a secret project in which it's breeding aliens with abducted humans

“I had someone come and brief me, wearing a military uniform, worked for the United States Army, that was briefing me on the locations of hybrid breeding programs, where captured aliens were breeding with humans to create some hybrid race, that could engage in intergalactic communication,” Gaetz said. (source) 

Matt’s talking about aliens as in Martians, Klingons, beings from Alpha Centauri or *gasp* the BORG!

This is the very same Matt Gaetz who, while a Republican (of course) congressman from Florida (again, of course) was found to have violated House rules, state and federal laws, "and other standards of conduct prohibiting prostitution, statutory rape, illicit drug use, acceptance of impermissible gifts, the provision of special favors and privileges, and obstruction of Congress.” 

Seems Florida’s drunk driving ex-congresscritter is now either deeply in his cups or has gone full metal looney tunes like his hero, Prez Pedo. 

OR perhaps Gaetz is actually an alien himself! He’s been on Earth for close to 44 years now. That’s a long time to be away from home. I bet he misses his own kind. Ya know, he suddenly married a 12-years-younger female who is reportedly from this here planet. 

At first I assumed he married in an effort to distract from his many lapses from decent human mores but there are other possibilities. 

With this human bride he, perhaps, hoped to create half human/half alien beings. Children with whom he could share his obsession with drugs & drink, Holocaust denying, racism, lying, grifting, statutory rape, and cosmetic surgery. I don't know why he'd need half aliens for that though – he can find assholes like that anywhere in the US.

Maybe the Army contacted him? They had this idea, they knew Gaetz was not credibly human and were able to convince Ginger Luckey to go along with the plan. You know … half human/half alien babies for science, for super-soldiers, for lulz! 

The thing is, he and Ginger have been married since 2021 and have only produced one halfling kiddle. What up? Are Gaetz’s species (whatever that might be) and Luckey’s (presumably human) reproductively slow? At this pace, HOW are we gonna get an army of alien/human super soldiers. Is Matt's oily ickyness getting to her?

Luckey's unwavering loyalty in the face of these very serious allegations has left many questioning her stance on it all. Either she's the most trusting spouse on the planet, or she's mastered the art of ignoring red flags at Gaetz's insistence. Whatever it takes to protect the microscopic levels of respect that remain for Gaetz in certain extremist circles, right? (source) 

Is Ginger finally listening to her, clearly, smarter sister who’s not hidden how skeevy she finds the greasy rutabaga.

Luckey's sister Roxanne has been incredibly vocal about her distrust and disdain for Gaetz, calling him "weird and creepy" and even going so far as to label him "a literal pedophile" in a series of heated TikTok videos (via Newsweek ). (source)

Roxanne’s not wrong but no, Ginger isn’t listening. The rest of the post at The List definitely makes the halfing’s former incubator sound like a very good match for Matt. She’s 32 and comes off as a nasty-ass mean girl with all the depth of a cookie sheet. This schtick isn’t gonna age well on this planet. Maybe, if the Army allows it – if the experiment’s a bust, they can move back to Matt’s home planet?

Remain Calm...Dammit!

I have a thrice put off dental surgery scheduled for 1PM today. I’m distinctly unthrilled about this. WHY did I put this off three times? That’s kind of not like me. I usually go into my scary health shit like a mad, suicide bombing warrior. Right?

This past winter was stressful and jam-packed with other stupid health issues. I was depleted and overwhelmed. Happens to even the best berserkers. So, I put it off. A lot. Today’s the big day. Whoopee!

At right is an absolutely accurate illustration of me bravely marching off to the torture dental surgery suite with my faithful battle bear. Okay, I probably gotta leave the battle bear (AKA Cake) at home.

Yes, I KNOW I’ve been through 50 bazillion big, fat, long-ass brain, spine, and eye surgeries before and I wasn’t anywhere near so whiny about those. Why not? I got to sleep through the brain and spine surgeries. Anaesthesia is my friend. Eyeball surgeries? I was younger then. That’s my reasoning an I’m sticking with it.

Below is some calming imagery I’m focusing on in hopes of chilling the fuck out before I get in the fucking chair.

See ya tomorrow … if I survive.

What Would Chocolate Bunny Do?

REJOICE! It's the day the chocolate bunny rose from the dead and I am eternally grateful for her selfless sacrifice to the world. 

Naturally, while I slovenly indulge in my Bunny Day basket of goodies, the patriarchy spins disastrously onward.

Right-wing penis Americans: "Women shouldn't be in positions of power and authority. Women shouldn't be allowed vote either. They're too emotional – not rational and logical like men."

Also, right-wing penis toters: "The hand of God teleported me to a Waffle House.”

“I was with my boys one time, and I was telling them I was gonna go to Waffle House and get Waffle House. And I ended up at a Waffle House – this was in Georgia, and I end up at a Waffle House like 50 miles away from where I was,” Phillips said on the podcast Onward, co-hosted by rightwing activist Catherine Engelbrecht.

Phillips added: “And they said, ‘where are you?’ and I said, ‘a Waffle House.’ And: ‘a Waffle House where?’ And I said: ‘Waffle House in Rome, Georgia.’ And they said: “‘That’s not possible, you just left here a moment ago.’ But it was possible. It was real.”

But Phillips did warn about the dangers of teleportation.

“Teleporting is no fun,” he said “You know it’s happening, but you can’t do anything about it, and so you just go, you just go with the ride. And wow, what just an incredible adventure it all was.” (source) 

This is Gregg Phillips who Prez Pedo chose to head FEMA. You know, the Federal Emergency Management Agency. The folks who used to help people before, during, and after disasters – like hurricanes, floods, and fires. FEMA provided funding, sent response teams, and tried to find ways to stave off damages from future disasters.

That is, FEMA did this until Prez Griftasaurus Dipshit scammed his way back into office. Pedo CHOSE this wackaloon to head up a profoundly serious agency on which we the taxpaying people all rely in times of extreme trouble.

Maybe old Greggles isn't actually nuts and was just drunk off his ass, tripping his balls off, and spun a weak-ass fairy tale to cover staying out too late with the boys. In any case, he should’ve made a financial investment in witnesses.

…as the outlet phrased it, none of the interviewees “said they were aware of anyone traveling to the 24-hour restaurants by paranormal means.”

“I’ve seen it all,” longtime Waffle House server Shastoni Burge told the outlet. “But I’ve never seen that.” (source) 

Obviously, if Greggles is a rational, stable, logical, stoic example of the males of our species, humanity is stone fucked. Dude is seriously missing more than half his brain cells. I wonder if he’s even able to feed or bathe himself. A dead toad would do a better job of running FEMA.

This is, of course, par for the course. Trump only hires complete imbeciles because he’s too insecure to have anyone more intelligent or sane than himself in his employ. Pedo is demonstrably a complete radish brained Froot Loop so...

Speaking of barely sentient radishes – there’s the Fox weekend couch sitter who was booted from the Army National Guard for being an “insider threat.” This is the vain, volatile pinheaded christian nationalist who’s running the war in Iran. You know, the war that we’re losing BADLY. The war where every day we as a nation embarrass ourselves to levels no one has ever seen before – that no one thought possible. 

Apparently Piss Drunk Pete’s a bit paranoid about getting canned despite the fact that he’s white and usually looks “good” on camera (to MAGAt viewers). He should be nervous. Kegseth’s making his boss look as incompetent as he actually is. He’s exposing Trump’s asininity and colossal ineptitude to the entire world. Don’cha know, Pedo’s a bit sensitive about that shit. 

So then, Perpetually Plastered Pete is out there firing all the folks who know what the fuck they’re doing. Ya know, like any emotionally secure, intelligent, leader who's focused on achieving measurable goals would be doing. Of course.

Crazy Times

I have Harry Nilsson’s song Jump Into The Fire in my head this morning.

You can climb a mountain
You can swim the sea
You can jump into the fire
But you'll never be free

I imagine this has something to do with the insane news we’re pounded with every day. In what way is Prez Pedo gonna try to clown fuck us into hell today? 

He signed that weasel shit executive order to restrict mail-in voting (full on knowing that mail-in voting foiled his scheme to steal the 2020 election). Only his dimmest cult members buy his lies – mail-in voting is secure and vast voter fraud claims are baseless. I’m betting he’ll make good on his threat to have the national guard confiscate voting machines in November though. This will be right after the GOP goes down in flames that’ll make the Great Chicago Fire of 1871 look like a little backyard barbecue. He’ll try to anyway. 

Hopefully, national guard leaders will be smart and faithful enough to the constitution to disobey an illegal order. Seeing all the troops obediently going off to the Middle East to fight Operation Epstein Distraction, I'm not positive we can count on them.

More than 20 Democratic attorneys general filed a lawsuit Friday challenging Donald Trump’s Tuesday executive order to restrict who can vote by mail. 

In his order, Trump directed the US Postal Service to abstain from sending mail-in or absentee ballots to people who are not on a pre-ordained list of eligible citizens.
~~~
States and localities that do not comply with the order could face the loss of federal funds and investigations.

The attorneys general, in their lawsuit, called the order an unconstitutional interference into state elections and a move to disenfranchise voters.

The constitution does not grant presidents power over elections. States are responsible for how their elections are run, with Congress being able to alter some choices.
~~~
“Once again, President Trump is trying to rewrite the rules of our elections. But he lacks the authority to do so – full stop,” said California’s attorney general, Rob Bonta, one of the plaintiffs, in a Friday news release. (source) 

As if this and his obscene, incompetently waged war on Iran wasn’t enough, he’s also attacking Blue states in a new way. He’s announced a fresh crackdown on “fraud.” Projection much Fraud Boy? Fer fuck’s sake, that’s the old grifter's total fucking brand! Pedo made the announcement on his little Twitter knock-off – Truth Toilet. He’s putting JD I-create-stories Vance in charge of making sure other people aren’t creating stories.

Sure, this makes perfect sense. The US is insane. Mind you, it’s always been so but NOW we’re light-years beyond lethally batshit.

The truth is you don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed.
~ Eminem

I live in a crazy time.
~ Anne Frank 

In an insane world, a sane man must appear insane.
~ Kurt Vonnegut 

I realised either I was crazy or the world was crazy; and I picked on the world. 
~ Jack Kerouac 

It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society. 
~ Jiddu Krishnamurti

Great Friday

Good Friday? That’s either redundant, if you’re a 9-5 working stiff, OR a horrible joke if you’re one Jesus Fucking Christ. I mean, it wasn’t a very good day for him now, was it?

Yesterday wasn’t a terribly good day for Pedophile Protector Pam but then, it was Thursday, not Friday.

Mike Luckovich

She’s now Trump’s ex personal attorney general. I guess, besides being a chick (in Prez Psycho ClownShit’s world, all women are inherently disposable), she just hadn’t sufficiently papered over Donnie’s child raping past. If she was a dude, Prez Pedo would have praised her efforts no matter how Homer Simpson-ish or Three Stoogian they were. See that absolute embarrassment to humanity, Krazy Kash Patel or kill-happy, christian nationalist, theoretically dry-drunk Kegseth OR the heroin promoting, anti-vaxxer RFK jr.  Oh yeah, there’s also commerce secretary Howard Lutnick, who was caught in a lie about his ties to Trump's bestie Epstein and Lutnick's visits to Child Rape Island. Nope, those dudes still hold their high profile, big money gigs. All they had to do, besides suck up to the most disgusting creature on the planet, is be born with a dick AND money.

Bondi was awful, but no worse than Patel. Noem was terrible, but no worse than Hegseth. Funny that it’s only the women who get fired.
~ Bill Kristol 

To ensure Pedo Pammy doesn’t flip on Pedo Prez and spill all the tea (and she assuredly knows a metric fuckton that’d totally bury him under the lowest level of the Inferno) Trump’s set her up with some phony baloney consolation prize gig. Just like Unemployed Barbie and her Agents of Shield spokesmodel “job.” 

In a statement, Bondi said she would be transitioning the office to Blanche over the next month, adding she was moving to “an important private sector role I am thrilled about, and where I will continue fighting for President Trump and this Administration”. 

“I remain eternally grateful for the trust that President Trump placed in me to Make America Safe Again,” she said. (source) 

Sucking orange ass to the end – how incredibly ridiculous, pointless, and flat-out grotesque.

Naturally, the bleach queen is being replaced by a corrupt, rich white guy. Todd Blanche was Trump’s personal defense attorney for the 2016 hush money trial as well as the election subversion and classified docs prosecutions. 

Michael Ramirez

I imagine Tulsi Gabbard is next on Trump’s hit list. Why?

Gabbard is said to have attracted the president's displeasure after failing to condemn former counterterrorism chief Joe Kent following his dramatic exit last month, in which he quit his post and criticised the administration's decision to take the U.S. to war with Iran. (source) 

And

Gabbard’s testimony that frustrated Trump ... was in line with her longstanding criticism of the US becoming entangled in foreign wars, as well as her previous statements to Congress in 2019 that she believed the president could not legally order pre-emptive attacks. (source) 

Mostly, it’s because she’s toting the wrong equipment. Prez Pathetically-Needy-and-Humiliatingly-Insecure can’t stand to have even moderately intelligent and mildly independent women in his orbit. This is why Linda McMahon, Sec of Ed, pro wrestling promoter, and otherwise failed businesswoman has solid job security in this administration.