The Fall

When he dies, his puppet masters will still be here jerking America’s strings.

Russell Vought, Stephen Miller, Elon Musk, and Peter Thiel (the actual power behind the Republican Party) will need to find a new front man. Sure, JD Couchfucker’s been auditioning HARD for the spot of xenophobic colonialist ringmaster but, incredibly, he’s got fewer social skills than a ketamine and coked up Musk and a jingoism gushing Miller on any given day. Thiel looks like a sweaty cockroach so I’m not betting on him snagging the national hateleader spot. Vought? He looks like he teaches that high school class where you learn the major export of Paraguay (soybeans), Malta (semiconductors/integrated circuits), and Ethiopia (coffee) and, invariably, fall asleep.

VP Many Names can swagger, bully, and lie about Denmark and Greenland all he wants but no one besides Prez Pedo’s rapidly dwindling base believes a word of it. He’s publicly, proudly stated that he creates stories to get attention. Vance might have even less credibility than Trump – that is, less than none.

Everything we’re told by this administration is a lie. Just look at the astronomical bullshit Noem and Pedo put out regarding the ICE fucker who murdered Renee Nicole Good yesterday.

The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
~ George Orwell, 1984

Just so ya know, Renee Nicole Good isn’t the first person directly murdered by Miller and Noem’s armed, out of control goon squad.

38-year-old Silverio Villegas González was murdered in September by an ICEhole during a traffic stop for, apparently no fucking reason other than the the color of his skin. 

And Keith Porter Jr. was murdered by ICE on New Years Eve in Northridge, California. 

One thing that’s common to all three cases – ICE and the rest of this administration lie easier than they breathe. No surprise there though.

Todd Lyons, the acting director of ICE, told local news media that ICE is “surging to Minneapolis to root out fraud, arrest perpetrators and remove criminal illegal aliens” (source) 

Their other responsibility is to murder law-abiding citizens, then fabricate elaborate fantasies to make it look like Prez Pedo’s jackbooted thugs are here to protect sweet, docile, Republican Jessica and David from the ravaging dangers of the Radical Left™.

Thanks to Mitch McConnell and our illegitimate Supreme Court, Prez Pedo has blanket immunity. Stephen Miller, however, does not. Neither do Kristi Noem, Todd Lyons, Tom Homan, and all of the ICEholes. 

 If we manage to survive this insanely disastrous time, I would like them all to suffer the same fate as Benito Mussolini. It would be especially fitting for Noem who sadistically offed so many innocent pets in her backyard gravel pit.

Trump? I’d like for him and his family to go out the same way as Tsar Nicholas II and his family. 

Tsar Nicholas II, Alexandra, their four daughters - grand duchesses Anastasia, Maria, Olga and Tatiana - their son the Tsarevich Alexei and four royal staff members were murdered in the cellar of a house in Yekaterinburg in 1918.

One night they were lined up as if for a family photo, and then a Bolshevik firing squad killed them in a hail of bullets, according to witness accounts. Those who did not die immediately were bayonetted. (source)

This was done in a basement where the family and their faithful entourage were kept. Why there? To make sure anti-Bolsheviks (the MAGAts of the day) didn’t interfere. Afterward, the bodies were taken to a forest where they were hit with grenades and acid in order to prevent future identification.

Ya know, that'll do it. 

I'm feeling a bit giggly at the idea of Pedo, Coke-tits Jr, Gums, Vanky, Lurch, and Melanoma getting the Romanov Family Plan. 

Teresa Burns Parkhurst

Random Bits

One way to protest is through your wallet. That is, boycott as many of the motherfuckers who support Trump’s fascist, pedophile, warmongering, planet raping regime as you can.

How can you know who to boycott? Check out Ethical Consumer. If you’re planning a purchase (from lunch to a vacation or anything else) and want to make sure you’re not adding to the Torture and Pillage machine, type the company name into the handy search function.

Check out the site Goods Unite Us too. Type in a company (on the main page) to find out their politics.

Additionally, if you haven't done so already, please add these assholes to your Do Not Use list.

• Cigna
• Comcast
• General Mills
• Allstate
• Marriott
• Hilton
• Walmart
• Amazon
• Microsoft
• Meta

Why? They all promised, after January 6, 2021, to stop funding lawmakers who tried to overturn the 2020 election. All of them broke that promise. 

Additionally, not only is Hilton housing ICE agents (and giving them BIG discounts), they’re punishing the one franchise that did the right thing (banning ICE from staying at their particular location). This even though the franchise caved.

Are you a big traveler who usually stays in big corporate hotels? Try Hyatt Hotels instead. They’re owned by the Pritzker family of Governor JB Pritzker of Illinois fame. 
~~~
Yesterday Prez Pedo spewed his usual lies, idiocies, and propaganda on his toxic social media site – Trash Social.

I am pleased to announce that the Interim Authorities in Venezuela will be turning over between 30 and 50 MILLION Barrels of High Quality, Sanctioned Oil, to the United States of America. This Oil will be sold at its Market Price, and that money will be controlled by me, as President of the United States of America, to ensure it is used to benefit the people of Venezuela and the United States

That’s just rib-crackingly hilarious. We ALL fucking know that any realized money is going directly into Pedo’s own pocket. Who the fuck knows where it goes from there. Maybe to pay for more gold painted gewgaws and marble gimcracks to accent another stolen monument he’ll dedicate to himself.

Let’s not forget – this is a man so blindingly incompetent that he’s bankrupted FOUR casinos and TWO hotels/resorts. 
~~~
Wanna know how you can help someone who’s going through cancer treatments or some other heavy health struggle? Here are a few unobtrusive, simple ideas:

     • Drop off a hot meal or gift card for a meal or grocery delivery. 
     • Offer to babysit, walk the dog, feed the cats.
     • Check out Cleaning for a Reason which offers free home cleaning to cancer patients.
     • Offer rides to and company for appointments 
     • Send a gift basket with favorite snack and cozy socks.
     • Send texts and memes to let them know you’re thinking of them (without expecting a response).
~~~
Poodle headed oddball, Rand Paul is actually opposing Dear Leader and has voted YES on the War Powers Resolution. Shocking.

Pat Bagley

“This vote is about restraint, accountability, and keeping America out of another disastrous war.”
~~~
Stephen Goebbels Miller origin theories:

• He crawled from a puddle of nuclear waste and hasn’t yet fully solidified.

• He’s what you get when a Nazi fucks a garden gnome.

• Stephen Miller was a top secret test subject for super cyber soldiers at Three Mile Island. The government scientists were experimenting with radioactive coolant as a blood replacement. Stephen wandered off during the partial nuclear meltdown of ‘79. 

Yes, this DOES mean that Miller isn’t fully human. That’s obvious though, isn’t it?

• The doctor who delivered Stephen Miller threw out the baby and gave his parents the afterbirth to raise.

• You’ve heard, undoubtedly, that there’s someone for everyone? Just as Frankenstein found a bride, Miller found a mate. He married an identically awful female version of himself.

 They’re the first Jewish couple to be voted Nazis of the Year.

Harsh but true.

Ah...NO!

Prez Pedo suggested that we, the U.S. taxpayers should/will reimburse the big oil companies for repairing Venezuela’s infrastructure for extracting and shipping oil.

“A tremendous amount of money will have to be spent and the oil companies will spend it, and then they’ll get reimbursed by us or through revenue,” the president said.

The US energy secretary, Chris Wright, reportedly plans to meet representatives of Chevron, ConocoPhillips and ExxonMobil at the Goldman Sachs Energy, Clean Tech & Utilities Conference in Miami later this week.
~~~
The three biggest US oil companies – Exxon Mobil, ConocoPhillips and Chevron – have not yet had any conversations with the administration about Maduro’s removal, Reuters reported. This contradicted Trump’s statements over the weekend that he had already held meetings with “all” the US oil companies, before and since Maduro was seized.

“Nobody in those three companies has had conversations with the White House about operating in Venezuela, pre-removal or post-removal to this point,” one of the sources told Reuters. (source)  

Dan McConnell  

Pedo lied and went in unprepared, without a plan in sight? He neglected to get all the big players on board before shooting his wad? 

I'm simply shocked, I tell you! (insert sky-breaking eye roll here). Also, FUCK YOU SPANKY! You want the oil so badly? You and your fellow billionaire buddies can go down there and extract it yourself, ON YOUR OWN FUCKING DIME!

I seriously believe we’re on the verge of the U.S. breaking up and, if Pedo sticks us with the oil industry’s bill, it’s fait accompli. I’ve long felt this country's too damn big, unwieldy, and certainly not united. Someone on Threads yesterday revived talk of the Northeast seceding. Specifically, they were speaking of New England becoming its own country. I'm thinking that adding in New York, Pennsylvania, and New Jersey would be good. We’d first need to boot out Maine and Pennsylvania’s MAGAt senators as well as New Hampshire’s idiot, Trump-sucking governor. After all, we can’t begin our new nation with lunatics on the bridge.

The West coast states – California, Oregon, and Washington – can form their own union too. We can make an alliance.

The United States has had 250 long, troubled, batshit, and sometimes inspiring, beautiful years. They were consistently good years as long as you were white, healthy, male, and had money.

By the way, The Northeast Union (or whatever our new nation will be named) will MOST definitely stand with a free, independent Greenland.

Dr. MacLeod

Chappatte

Nick Anderson

Jack Ohman 

Illegal

There’s just so much information to be consumed and understood about what’s happening in Venezuela right now. Amongst others, I’m following Heather Cox Richardson’s always measured and informative Substack posts.

Here’s just one thing that stands out from yesterday’s column, the Republican Party KNEW this was going down. They were briefed that Pedo and his drunk Ken doll Secretary of War were sending the military to invade Venezuela and had instructed them to kidnap the Venezuelan President. The Democrats? Nope, they were NOT in the loop.

Representative Jim Himes (D-CT) who as ranking member of the House Intelligence Committee is a member of the Gang of Eight*, told CBS’s Margaret Brennan this morning that neither he nor House minority leader and fellow Gang of Eight member Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY) had been briefed on the strikes. Himes said: “I was delighted to hear that Tom Cotton, chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee, has been in regular contact with the administration. I’ve had zero outreach, and no Democrat that I’m aware of has had any outreach whatsoever. So apparently we’re now in a world where the legal obligation to keep the Congress informed only applies to your party, which is really something.”

Senate minority leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY)—also a member of the Gang of Eight—told reporters that he hadn’t been briefed either and that the administration had deliberately misled Congress in three classified briefings before the strikes. In those briefings, officials assured lawmakers that the administration was not planning to take military action in Venezuela and was not pursuing regime change. “They’ve kept everyone in the total dark,” he said. (source) 

Allan McDonald

So, this takeover of a sovereign nation was a Republican Party approved action then. Lovely. So much for democracy, eh?

To be wicked clear, Nicolás Maduro is a dictator, one of the cruelest and most bloodthirsty BUT Prez Pedo’s motivation for taking him out had fuck-all to do with the welfare of your average Venezuelan citizen. I mean Duh-HUH. Trump did NOT put Nobel Peace Prize winner María Corina Machado in charge OR Edmundo Gonzalez, the rightful winner of Venezuela’s 2024 election. Nope. It’s Maduro’s faithful Veep, Delcy Rodríguez, of whom Trump said “if she doesn’t do what’s right, she is going to pay a very big price, probably bigger than Maduro.” 

Christ, he’s such barbarous, pigheaded, trash brained, greedheaded primitive. The man, and I use the term WAY loosely, only cares about himself and money (not necessary in that order). 

Also…so much for the military refusing to follow illegal orders, huh? I guess the men and women wearing U.S. uniforms don’t actually give an airborne fuck about the Constitution, U.S. and international law. What made the action illegal?

Tjeerd Royaards 

• It was an unprovoked invasion to facilitate regime change. 
• There was NO congressional authorization. 
• It was in violation of the UN Charter article 2 (4) (prohibiting the threat or use of force against another state's territorial integrity or political independence).

The action’s purpose was mischaracterized. This CLEARLY was all about taking control of Venezuela’s oil (and minerals) and had nothing to do with drugs. 

I'm SO disgusted. 

* The “gang of eight” is a group of members of Congress with a pretty sweet name that includes the leaders, both Democrat and Republican, of the Senate and House, as well as the chairmen and ranking members of the House and Senate Intelligence Committees. The “gang” is briefed on covert intelligence matters by the administration when the president “determines it is essential to limit access” to classified or national security information in “extraordinary circumstances.” The "gang" is also sworn to secrecy to not disclose this information to anyone, even other members of Congress. (source) 

NOT Dead Dinos

I didn’t know this until this morning but oil comes from dearly departed algae NOT dead dinos. Oil (and gas and coal) deposits are the leftovers from wicked old muddy swamps. Pressure turns the mud and algae to rock. Earth’s heat cooks the rock – et voilà – we have oil.

FYI: In January 1976, under President Carlos Andrés Pérez, Venezuela nationalized its oil industry – for those of you playing the home game, that’s 50 years ago. This means that Venezuela owns their own damn resources – not Chevron, not ConocoPhillips, not Exxon and certainly not the US.

Prez Pedo, as uszh, was lying his motherfucking ass off when he said, ”They took all of our oil and we want it back. They illegally took it.”

His puppet master, Stephen Miller, framed it in more grownup fascist terms but he’s saying the same thing here:

“American sweat, ingenuity and toil created the oil industry in Venezuela,” Miller, who serves as White House deputy chief of staff, wrote in a social media post.

“Its tyrannical expropriation was the largest recorded theft of American wealth and property. These pillaged assets were then used to fund terrorism and flood our streets with killers, mercenaries and drugs.” (source) 

Mike Luckovich

Bottom line – Venezuela didn’t steal from American oil companies. Using our military to work an oil grift is insane but par for the course with Trump, the world’s sloppiest Griftasaurus. The orange asshole fabricated a story about drug trafficking, blew up fishing boats – murdering more than 110 fishermen, and claimed, without evidence, that Maduro is the head of a drug cartel and “foreign terrorist organisation.”

At the same time, Bozo the Pedophile’s totally down with pardoning former Honduran President, Juan Orlando Hernández who was at the center of one of the largest and most violent drug-trafficking conspiracies in the world. 

Yeah, OBVIOUSLY Venezuela is NOT about drugs. This is about oil and always was.

But wait, there’s more – Coke Jr.’s making out like a bandit on all this too.

For the second time this year, a little-known company backed by Donald Trump Jr. has scored a major contract with the US Department of Defense.

The Financial Times reported on Wednesday that Vulcan Elements — a tiny startup of 30 employees that specializes in producing rare-earth magnets used in drones, radars, and other pieces of military equipment — has scored a $620 million loan from the Pentagon as part of “a $1.4 billion deal to increase the supply of magnets for industries alongside partner ReElement Technologies.”

Vulcan has received funding from 1789 Capital, a venture capital firm founded by pro-Trump donors in 2023 that brought Trump Jr. in as a partner last year. According to the Financial Times’ analysis, “at least four of 1789’s portfolio companies have won contracts from the Trump administration this year, amounting to more than $735 million.”

Revelations about the Vulcan Elements contract come just weeks after the Florida-based drone startup Unusual Machines, in which Trump Jr. has held a $4 million stake, received a contract from the US Army to manufacture 3,500 drone motors. Additionally, reported the Financial Times, the Army indicated that it planned “to order an additional 20,000 components” from the Trump Jr.-backed firm next year.

As Popular Information reported earlier this year, Unusual Machines first brought Trump Jr. on as an adviser just weeks after his father won the 2024 presidential election, even though he had “no notable experience with drones or military contracting.”
~~~
Kedric Payne, general counsel at the Campaign Legal Center, told the Financial Times that that the government deals scored by Trump Jr.-backed companies look ethically dubious even if the president’s son didn’t directly use his influence to procure them. (source) 

Gee, “ethically dubious?” Ya think?!!!! I believe we can call this a Godzilla sized fucking understatement, don’t you?! (not to dis my buddy Godzilla, mind you) It's all about money. By the by, Stephen Miller's wife is drunk with it and flashing the crowds like it's Mardi Gras.

Odd Bits

Scientists at Hong Kong Baptist University have discovered a new species of box jellyfish which has 24 eyes. They’re located inside four sensory organs – together they give our pal Tripedalia maipoensis 360-degree vision. Way cool.

…not all of these eyes are created equal. According to the researchers, these eyes are split into four groups of six, which are each located inside a sensory organ known as a rhopalium. Of those six eyes, two of them have lenses for forming images and the other four detect light and dark. (source) 

Very Alien:Earth, no?

Abraham Lincoln's only surviving son, Robert Todd Lincoln, was present at or near three U.S. presidential assassinations – his father's, James Garfield, and William McKinley. Seems a mite fishy don’cha think? 

Granted…

Bobby was at the White House, not Ford’s Theater, when Abe was shot. He was rushed to his father's side as soon as he got the news.

He was the Secretary of War (yes, that was really the name of the office at that time) for President James Garfield and was with him at the Sixth Street Train Station in D.C. when Garfield was assassinated by Charles Guiteau. Guiteau had it in his head that he could put a stop to the Republican Party’s internecine warfare if he offed the Prez. I’m thinking the present day equivalent might be Kenneth Chesebro, Alina Habba, Sidney Powell, Jeffrey Clark or Laura Loomer except, unlike Guiteau, they weren’t rejected by their hero/president and would NEVER harm a single shellacked, dyed, and bizarrely styled hair on Dear Leader's head.

The next president’s murder he was in the vicinity of was William McKinley. Bill was done in by a very unhappy out of work wireworker. Leon Czolgosz had lost his job during the economic Panic of 1893 and became an anarchist. Seemingly inspired by Gaetano Bresci's assassination of King Umberto I of Italy, Leon went after Bill. Bob Lincoln just happened to be at the Pan-American Exposition in Buffalo, New York. He wasn’t an eyewitness but was outside the Temple of Music when the deed went down.

Recognizing this trend, Lincoln is said to have refused a later presidential invitation with the response, "No, I'm not going, and they'd better not ask me, because there is a certain fatality about presidential functions when I am present.” (source) 

So, maybe Bob Lincoln had nothing to do with the deaths of the three out of four presidents who have been assassinated BUT don’t YOU find it a little sus that he was SO close (or RIGHT there)? I mean, let’s look at this:

George Washington was sworn in on April 30, 1789. No presidents are offed for 89 years and then Lincoln in 1865, Garfield in 1881, and McKinley 1901. The next assassination, JFK, was in 1963 – 62 years later. Bob Lincoln had died in 1926 and I haven’t seen any reports of his descendants being in Dallas at that time.

Lincoln was either a bad luck charm from the universe or he was in on it. That's obvs, isn't it?!

Did you know that the last known group of woolly mammoths survived until approximately 1650 B.C.?  That’s over a thousand years after the Pyramids at Giza were built! Mammoths were still alive in the Arctic, on Wrangel Island (300 miles miles west of Alaska's mainland, across the Chukchi Sea) when those suckers went up. That just blows my mind.

Final weird fact for the day – ingredients in the toothpaste of Roman citizens of old? Crushed mouse brains and human urine imported from Portugal. Why Portuguese urine? Would Spanish or Dutch piss be inferior? If so, why? Why mouse brains and not voles, hamsters or gerbils?

I’VE GOT QUESTIONS HERE!!!!

Stand-up

Watched another Mrs. Maisel last night and, mein Gott, that’s a good show. I need to know (and I’ll be sure to dig into this later today), were there any real life Mrs. Maisels back in 1958? Ya know, women stand-up comics who could get up on stage and talk like Lenny Bruce, Mort Sahl or Dick Gregory — where were they? Were they all locked in kitchens? Frozen out by tiny dicked, chickenhearted misogynists who couldn’t bear the thought that a vagina toting human might be *gasp* just as (or more) bitingly witty and insightful than them? Yep, most likely. 

Some wit from the greats of then and now. 

Lenny Bruce
Life is a four-letter word.

…must be lonesome, being bright and witty and aware.

Mort Sahl
My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it. My life needs editing.

In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.

Dick Gregory 
The only good thing about the good old days is they're gone.

Richard Pryor 
You can't talk about fucking in America, people say you're dirty. But if you talk about killing somebody, that's cool.

Do you know how you felt when you would lean all the way back in a chair, and just before you were about to tip over, at the very last second, you'd catch yourself ? That's how I feel all the time.

George Carlin 
Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! 

Wanda Sykes 
Until a Drag Queen walks into a school and beats eight kids to death with a copy of 'To Kill a Mockingbird' I think you're focusing on the wrong shit. 

Women and our right to choose were going to be challenged with Ashcroft around. When Bush appointed Ashcroft, I went out and got me four abortions. I stocked up. The doctor was like, 'Listen, you're not pregnant.' I said, 'Hey, just shut up and do your job. I'm exercising my right while I can, dammit.” 

White criminals commit the biggest crimes. A brother might rob a bank. A white man will rob a pension fund. The brother is going to get ten to fifteen years because he had a gun. The white guy is going to get a congressional hearing because he had a job and a nice suit.

Sarah Silverman 
Nothing seems crazy when you're used to it.

Some people need Hell. If you’re the type of guy who sees a hooker in an alleyway and instinctively thinks, “Hey, now there’s something I could rape and kill without any consequences,” then the concept of Hell might really keep you out of trouble.

People who call themselves divas...you are not a diva. I'm pretty sure you're a cunt.

First Day

On this first morning of a new, hopefully better year, I woke from two brief odd, interesting dreams – vignettes, really.

In the first, Ten and I discovered that the local butterfly population was declining. They needed a boost. How could we assist? Well, ya see…we discovered that baby butterflies are made when a small black beetle-ish looking bug nibbles on some chilled cucumber slices. Afterwards, he goes and chats up a fine lady bug and, ya know, one thing leads to another and nine months later (or however long dreamland butterfly gestation works out to be) *VOILA* blue morpho and monarchs abound.

So, Ten and I were busy icing and slicing cucumbers because we’re ALL about accommodating horny butterfly makers.

Second dream – we decided to add a room to Valhalla. This would be a neat trick since our patch of land is quite small and our yoked houses already take up most of it. Possibly the new room would be in a pocket dimension, accessible via an irregularly appearing portal (thus avoiding additional real estate taxes and extra home insurance costs)?

What’s the new room for? Painting studio.

Oh, oh, OHHHHHHH, just after midnight this morning Zohran Mamdani was sworn in as mayor of New York!  You KNOW what this means don’t you?

Every single New Yorker, from Manhattan to Queens, Staten Island, the Bronx and Brooklyn will need to:

• Join a socialist commune. YES, even on Staten Island!
• Within this commune, everyone will need to be part of a polycule with a person named Indigo and another named Sage (both non-binary, of course).
• Dye their hair blue, purple, green or pink. Sometimes they’ll have to go full rainbow. Hair color schedules will depend on neighborhood and borough.
• New Yorkers must carry falafel and pita with them at all times in accordance with Shawarma Law. 
• New Yorkers will NOT be accused of disobeying Shawarma Law if they’ve already consumed their falafel and pita because, technically, they are still on/within them.
• The use of Arabic numerals is now mandatory (or “mamdani” as it will now be known).
• There will be compulsory yoga sessions seven days a week, at 10AM. 

• Prayer rugs will arrive in the mail by Monday. Instructions on care, cleaning, and storage will be enclosed.  

• NO, you can NOT use your prayer rug and yoga mat interchangeably. For starters, yoga necessitates a squishier base.
• New Yorkers will be expected to unionize their respective workplaces. This may not happen overnight unless they’re an independent contractor or otherwise work alone.
• Septum piercings will be done on the first Friday of each month at the local independent bookstore/coffeehouse.
• Everyone is expected to become vegan by Wednesday of next week. NO exceptions!
• Drawstring hemp trousers and bamboo T-shirts will be available through local, vetted, earth friendly retailers. Remember, 10% of sales of Leftist Rebel Scum T-shirts go toward overthrowing the fascist oligarchy.

Hmmph, now I’m in the mood for a falafel sandwich, some baba ganoush with pita chips, baklava, and a Hot Toddy.