Movie Time

Let’s talk about John Wick. Yes, yez, yezzzz, I’m only now seeing this HUGE ass blockbuster movie that has, to date, kicked off a four flick franchise. What can I say? I’m not exactly hip to trends current or otherwise.

When the first John Wick came out in 2014, Obama was president. The US had not yet to become both an global laughingstock (due to the deranged clownshit president and his equally ridiculous, loser veep) nor had we turned into a total horror show (credit goes to Stinky’s boy Stephen Goebbels Miller and the Heritage Foundation).

A brief summary of John Wick Chapter One from Rotten Tomatoes: 

Legendary assassin John Wick (Keanu Reeves) retired from his violent career after marrying the love of his life. Her sudden death leaves John in deep mourning. When sadistic mobster Iosef Tarasov (Alfie Allen) and his thugs steal John's prized car and kill the puppy that was a last gift from his wife, John unleashes the remorseless killing machine within and seeks vengeance. Meanwhile, Iosef's father (Michael Nyqvist) -- John's former colleague -- puts a huge bounty on John's head. 

A little clarification for those of you unfamiliar : 

• It looked to me like Wick’s wife died of cancer. It wasn’t a long, drawn out part of the story.

• Sadistic mobster Iosef Tarasov is more spoiled rotten, tremendously stupid nepo baby. Like Dumb-shit Donnie and Loser Leon, Iosef wouldn’t even be holding up liquor stores without his daddy’s big money and connections.

• What snaps Wick into revenge mode isn’t the loss of the car – it’s that they murdered the puppy that his wife SO thoughtfully set up to be delivered to him after her death. Why’d she do it? So he wouldn’t be alone.

NEVER KILL THE DOG!

This seems like a simple, obvious piece of common sense. Like something that doesn’t need to be taught. It’s automatic – like breathing, right? Apparently not for Iosef  (who MUST be related to Cricket-Killer Noem).

So, the movie…it’s fun. I definitely enjoyed it. Yes, I’m def not a gun fan AND, for as much as I enjoyed The Matrix, the big Neo/Trinity shootout with the baddies scene skeeved me right out. It just seemed like a masturbation aid for boys and men in deep need of intensive therapy and, possibly, some Tai Chi and judo classes. Having said that, the shoot-em-up fight scenes in The Matrix were more creative, better lit, and more interesting to watch than those in John Wick.

According to the Wikipedia entry, Keanu Reeves, in prepping for the Wick role, went through training in judo, Japanese jujutsu, Brazilian jiu-jitsu, and arnis (Filipino martial art), as well as tactical-gun training with the Los Angeles SWAT. The focus, what ended up in the final cut, was definitely the gun action though.

This brings me to the TV show Leverage where the character Eliot (a former US Black Ops soldier turned retrieval specialist – whatever that is) is the “hitter” of the team. He’s the fighter and an ultra-skilled marksman but he avoids using guns, dislikes them intensely for unnamed reasons. This makes the shows fight scenes a LOT more interesting. Eliot’s style is a mix of martial arts and hand-to-hand combat.

What’s my point? Guns are boring. I’m glad Wick got revenge for Daisy though. NEVER KILL THE DOGS!