I Need More Cookies

I finally heard back from my neurologist re: my brain MRI. You know, this was the MRI that got bumped up from late September because of my not so new anymore, potentially tumor related symptoms.

My team doesn’t feel the calf/ankle/foot interior numbness and occasional swelling issues are related to the meningiomas squatting on my motherfucking motor cortex. (an aside: I have a whole team! GodDAMN, I feel special or really diseased or something.) Now, I’d read the MRI tech’s report as soon as it was posted (a couple weeks ago) and saw that my tumor farm hadn’t grown in the past few months so I figured I was probably safe. That is, I was safe from having to undergo immediate surgery. 

I totally realized that there are other factors to consider – there’s shit and intricacies that I don’t know about because I’m not some big, amazing neurologist specializing in neurofibromatosis type 2. Having said that, I know enough to be able to get a general sense of how I’m doing by reading my reports – after all, I’ve been studying these suckers for nearly 44 years. First with Dr. Ojemann and now with Doc Plotkin. So, I haven’t been sitting and squirming on pins and needles for the past two weeks, waiting for them to get back to me.

What I didn’t expect is that Plotkin would now want me to have the mondo mass on my thoracic spine MRIed. //sigh// Since he hadn’t specified having that done before (and I thought I’d brought it up but maybe not) I assumed he ruled that baby out. Nope. //sospiro profondo//

I only mention it but, since 2021, I’ve had surgery to reduce the size of that motherfucking mass (which is all Coumans can do – the damn thing is too big and wrapped into too many tight, scary spaces). I’ve had proton radiation to stop its growth and I’m on chemo meds to further inhibit growth. Mind you, this is on top of all my other surgeries and procedures. Yeah, it’s just nonstop buckets of fun here in Donna Land. 

For the upcoming spine MRI, I’m gonna make sure I don’t trip. (in the White Rabbit sense of tripping, that is) Yeah, no gummies for me this time. Granted, that last ride was entertaining as all hell, if wholly unexpected. I’d just rather be chilled out though. Maybe take a wee nap.

What I REALLY want is for my docs to rule out all seious causes and just say, "you probably just slept on your ankle funny. Eat a cookie and watch a couple more episodes of South Park and you'll feel better."

Yup, that's gonna happen. Suuuuure!