Homeward Bound

Annie and Mother

Heading home this afternoon to The Amazing Bob, Jen, Oni, Coco and the rest of our herd of cat.

The gathering of the very diverse Maderer tribe along with our respective friends was, as Mother would have liked, often happy with much laughter. The wake was open casket -- I kept wanting to rouse Mother so she could join in. It just seemed wrong to have such a big party, with so many people she loved and there she was 'sleeping' through it.

Yep, apart from all the make up, she really did look like she was just napping. Disturbing.

It wasn't until we were at the post funeral reception that my veneer, my protective shell of anger, humor and steel, began to crack. I raised a toast with Daddy, 'To Lucia Fanelli Maderer,' I shouted. As wine glass and beer bottle clinked both of our faces fell. The tsunami of grief  threatened to breach our stone walls of I'm-in-control/I-can-handle-anything-with-a-pithy-quip-a-clever-quote-or-a-bit-of-snark. Our leaking eyes were locked, our hands joined, fear in his eyes and mine -- I told him 'we can get through this, Poppy. We WILL get through this'. And we did.

Later, my friend Michal picked me up. We went back to her warm, pet filled, home, where she fed me the most awesome spinach, mushroom, swiss and feta quiche, chocolate frosted brownies and Jamisons. Her fabulous dog, Jake, provided comfort throughout the night with a trio of cats coming in to check on me in the morning.

Michal, The Balm of Idaho (Pennsylvania).