Early Summer Perfume

Nothing beats the fragrance of a sunny, early summer morning after a rainstorm. Just nothing (of course, I’ll probably make similar statements in Autumn, early Winter and Spring).

There’s the rich incense of low tide, the green tang of sun dappled paths through the wood, the light, clean, spiced breeze off the bay at 6 AM, the homey scent of newly shorn lawns and meadows and the wispy, floating, sweet delight of Honeysuckle and Beach Roses.

Try as they will, the Perfume and Cologne manufacturers can’t come close to the pure beauty of this.

They can bottle them in gorgeous, sculptural crystal and get celebs to endorse 'em but they're still a zillion miles from these perfect pure scents.

From a Perfume Marketing How-To webpage

The marketing of perfume involves more than just selling an aroma. As perfume maker Serge Lutens once said, "It is potentially a carrier for the imagination. Perfume is thick; it is poison and pure desire; it is eros in person." To successfully advertise a fragrance, you must tap into the human psychology and link your brand with a desirable abstract idea, such as passion, femininity or masculinity. This is why so many perfume advertisements are erotic in nature. 

So it’s not so much about the scent as it is about getting us to believe the potion, once applied, will transform us into Faith Hill (who?), Antonio Bandares (yum!), Derek Jeter (possibly named 'Short Stop' or 'Scent of Home Plate?'), Britney Spears (Eu du Crazy Skank?) or a young Liz Taylor.

From a 2008 Marketing Plan for Perfume J'Adore, by Dior

J’adore is a timeless fragrance by Christian Dior. It was created in 1999 and remains one of the most popular fragrances of the brand for women. Christian Dior, the father of the “New Look”, had for main goal to “save women from nature”. Dior is known everywhere in the world. “Absolute feminity” is one of the slogans for J’adore.

Save women from nature? ‘the fuck that's supposed to mean? He wants to make sure we don’t smell like menstrual blood, farts, sweat or, even, freshly showered skin? Dude, mebbe you ought to check in with your shrink -- you seem to be unfamiliar with the reality of humankind.

To be utterly clear, I’m no nature girl -- the very idea of camping, of going a day without bathing or even just sweating through my deodorant, makes me feel unhappily oogie. Still, I’d rather smell like me at my most rank than some pile of chemicals which surely have far more in common, elementally, with a bag of Doritos Hot Wing Chips than anything organic.

Same goes for The Amazing Bob. And, perverse as I guess I am, I like the smell of his sweat.

In love? Moi? Did we not review this already?