Horrified in the Bookstore Yet Again

I went to the bookstore yesterday to spend some of my Christmas gift certificate swag and, unsurprisingly, found a few disturbing bits.

Valentine’s Day crap on display ALREADY! ‘the fuck?! 

America is all about buy, BUY, BUY! Have MORE stuff! Spend your hard earned money on crap that’ll be tossed well before the spring thaw. Pack those damn landfills with viciously slow degradables. The planet's not gonna pollute itself don'cha know. We MUST help!

Yeah, yeah...DUH!

Here’s a radical concept — instead of buying your mate, your hoped for inamorato, your paramour du jour “Love Coupons,” go for a hike in the winter woods, trade stories from your childhood, talk about what’s important to you, make a meal, get up early and watch the sunrise. Do these things together. Just be with each other.

Next I came upon a zillion and one diet and exercise books because, HELLO, New Year’s Resolution — I’m-SO-gonna-lose-that-10/20/50-pounds. The book that stood out to me most was this one — Strong is the New Skinny with a muscular and skinny babe on the cover. Huh.

With STRONG IS THE NEW SKINNY you can say goodbye to body-bashing and physical faultfinding, and instead learn to embrace, not just how it looks, but what your body can do—from pushups to pull ups and box jumps to rope climbs, nothing is out of your reach.  Strong Is the New Skinny offers a reality-based diet, lifestyle, and fitness program....

Yup, it’s a diet and exercise book so that all us chubs can slim down and firm up just like the sinewy, tough looking author on the cover. “say goodbye to body-bashing and physical faultfinding...” Yes, because, if you buy this book and follow her plan, you’ll be svelte and cut just like her and who would ever bash her looks, hmmm?

But wait:

Whether you’re just getting started or training for a challenging physical event...

It’s also for the folks who’re already fit and in training! Phew. I’d hate like hell for anyone to feel left out.

Just to be clear, I’m definitely big on the concept of being as fit and trim as I can be. No gym rat here but getting out for a daily walk or trike ride, NOT eating frosted brownies or having that second glass of wine — these little things CAN be done!

The book title should be Strong AND Skinny is the new Skinny.

And then there’s Hands Off My Gun, Defeating the Plot to Disarm America.

Huh, interesting. There’s a plot to grab everyone’s guns? Who knew?

I wonder if the pretty woman on the cover understands that she’s a paid dupe, the attractive cover for the ethically bankrupt, profit-at-any-cost, greed-brained NRA — the public face of gun manufacturers? Is she a stone believer in the ammo cause? OR is she devoid of care for her fellow man — as long as the check clears she’ll sell/advocate anything?

As is the case with nearly everything in this life, I imagine the answer is YES. It's a bit of all of the above.

After running into the scary Valentine’s display and even scarier gun fetishist tome, I dashed off to the sci fi aisle in hopes of peaceful escape from rapaciously rampant, naked, soulless capitalism.

And I found this:
Red as Blood, or Tales from the Sisters Grimmer by Tanish Lee

How would it be if Snow White were the real villain & the wicked queen just a sadly maligned innocent? What if awakening the Sleeping Beauty should be the mistake of a lifetime--of several lifetimes? What if the famous folk tales were retold with an eye to more horrific possibilities?

Sounds GREAT n'est-ce pas? Yes, yes it does. BUT I just can’t get past that heinous, cutsie pie, girly, sexy witch cover art. I’ve ranted about the ridiculously demeaning nature of female novelist’s cover art before. Nothing new to add. I know I’ll pick up Lee’s offering at some point but I’ll either only read it at home, in bed — hiding the cover when The Amazing Bob comes in OR I’ll make a jacket for the damn thing. 

I wonder what the percentages are. How many people won’t buy the book because the cover art implies that it’s nothing but tales of pink nail varnish, cosmos, boyfriend troubles and Christian Louboutins. How many will purchase precisely because it looks like Sorority Sisters at Saks with a twist of magic.

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public
~H.L. Mencken