Sometimes You Just Have To Treat Yourself

It's fruity cocktail season! How can you tell? My bedroom AC unit's working 'round the clock (almost), Coco's spending her days languishing in the front window, waiting for breezes that rarely come and I can be heard shrieking, on the regular, THIS IS BOSTON NOT PHOENIX – WHAT THE EVERLOVIN' FUCK!!! Yeah, I'm a real treat in the heat. Someone mix this babe a Breakfast Cosmo – STAT!

I’m happy as hell that we now live by the water where, as blisteringly boiling as it’s been, it’s always a few degrees cooler than in town. On days like this, The Amazing Bob and I would sit on the seawall steps at high tide, dangling our feet in the cold, cold water. Tide’ll be up at 10 this morning. You know where I’ll be.

I saw this bit online somwhere – The best thing about a heat wave is constantly having the illusion that you’re getting exercise. Yup. While I did put in extra work out time yesterday, before the temp reached HOLY FUCK levels, I felt as though I’d been workin' it like Shirin Gerami getting ready for her next Ironman competition. Yeah...so, feeling as though I'd earned it, I had another slice ‘o’ pie last night. Doh! Heat – a deceptive motherfucker!

I believe someone made a grievous mistake when summer was created; no novitiate or god in their right mind would make a season akin to hell on purpose. Someone should be fired.
~ Michelle Franklin 
 
Louisiana in September (or July in Massachusetts!) was like an obscene phone call from nature. The air - moist, sultry, secretive, and far from fresh - felt as if it were being exhaled into one's face. Sometimes it even sounded like heavy breathing.
~ Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume

I was used to heat but this place was so dry the trees were bribing the dogs.
~ Irvine Welsh, If You Liked School, You'll Love Work

God, it was hot! Forget about frying an egg on the sidewalk; this kind of heat would fry an egg inside the chicken.
~ Rachel Caine

I feel like the queen of the oven! I am the Queen of all oven-dry! Master of heat! You may now address me as "Your Royal Highness"!
~ Elizabeth Duivenvoorde