Things I RILLY can’t unknow or unsee

von Clownstick Junk – Official White House Portrait

1) The bad comb over in the White House has “Yeti” pubes and a mushroom dick. I SO don’t need this ugly image in my head.

Also, tomorrow was the day when the Bad Toddler in Chief would be testing the latest Wireless Emergency Alert System. You know, the one where warnings about dangerous weather, missing children and other critical shit is sent to our cells via UNBLOCKABLE text. A great idea IN THEORY. How long though before Prez Narcissist Crazy Brain starts abusing this – sending his defensive, trash talking, I’M-the-REAL-victim-here texts at 2AM. You know he will if he can. Is this the real reason the test has been put off until October 3rd – FEMA's trying to find a way to childproof the set-up?

2) Beavis and Butt-head Trump have exhibited a fetish for killing animals large and small and then posing with them as if this covers for their miniature mushroom winkles and brains. I don't want to see B&B holding up some poor beautiful, unjustly slaughtered animal AGAIN!

3) Otherwise laying low, Alt-FLOTUS Ivanka has surfaced to, reportedly, advise Daddy Dearest to just let go of Rapey Boy Kavenaugh and all his good gooey The-Prez-is-above-the-law (but only Republican prezzies) shit-tasticness. He'll listen to his fave piece of ass child. Right? Yeah, not holding my breath.

4) I'm tired of seeing that chubby faced I’m Entitled prick who seems to believe that he’s inherently deserving of GREAT privilege (and free range rapiness) by dint of family bucks and position, elite schooling and, of course, the color of his skin suit. Yeah, the asshole’s not just a drunk assaulter, he’s also a lying sack of shit. He’s lied UNDER OATH. Either offense ought to DQ him from ANY judge gig, not just one on the highest court in the land, eh?

5) Ah, but he has lickspittle grifters like Chuck Grassley, a criminally disingenuous, octogenarian, pile of feral raccoon feces in his court. Grassley’s been Iowa’s senator since 1981. What’s the matter with Iowans that, for 37 long years, they've been sending this misogynist, pukestained assclown to Washington.

6) Then there’s Ted nice-dye-job-asshole Cruz. I don't want to know ANYTHING about Ted Cruz Didya know? He’s now claiming that Beto O’Rourke, if elected, will outlaw BBQ. Yes, he really said that.

Dude, mebbe you should don some water wings – I’m afraid you might drown in all that flop sweat.

Just FYI, Yom Kippur – the Day of Atonement – begins at sundown today.
G'mar tov and tzom kal, y’all.

Also too, I'm with Al. Duh.

Also too, too, THIS is the best campaign ad I've ever, EVER seen. Watch it. Seriously!