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Monday, November 12, 2018


Awe, silly you, you thought it was Monday. Nope, it's Prepday.
Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.
~ Abraham Lincoln

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
~ Benjamin Franklin
I spent the weekend readying the house for my delicate, post back surgery self. This involved loads of cleaning and scrubbing because, ya know, who the hell wants to come home, all weak and worn out from four days in the hospital, to smelly laundry, a dirty stove top and a filthy can? Not I! Also too, pouring myself into making mein Haus fit for convalescent habitation calmed my jittery nerves. Who can fret (overmuch) when there are baseboards to dust, fridges to scrub and laundry to launder?

Prepping casa mia also entailed getting my mattress and box spring up off the floor. Warum? Think about it next time you get out of bed or stand up from a low chair – be conscious of which parts of your body are putting out the BIG effort. The back’s a prime mover here.

Now then, I did just buy a much thicker mattress (with a pillow top! SUCH comfort) BUT it isn’t hotel bed high. Getting out of those is mega easy peazy. Just roll off – back muscles are NOT seriously employed.

On Saturday, Jen and Oni – my heroic, fellow Valhallans, bought me a heavy duty bed frame and put it together. My bunk is now a tall, luxe aerie – BLISS!

Our heroes didn’t stop there either – I’m now in possession of Jen’s Uncle Bob’s lift chair. You know, one of those mechanical beasts that tip up and forward to help a beleaguered body stand. It’s been living at Jen’s mother’s house but she’s not in dire need at the mo. Once I’m all recovered and shit, it’ll go back which is just as well. It’s covered in beige corduroy! *gasp* *HORROR*

What else am I doing to pave the way for upcoming, temporary fragility? I’ve unearthed my old walker (used whilst recovering from back-to-back brain slice-ups, 16 years ago). I may or may not need it but, ya know, better safe than stupid. Same for my old shower bench. I’m heavily into the concept of NOT falling.

I’ve also stocked the freezer with healthy, microwavable meals, there’s a stack of paperbacks by the bed, enough cat food in the cupboards to feed Coco and an army of strays for a month and the guest room’s all tidied and fit for the wonderful folk who will stay with me during my first week at home.

There’s still more to do BUT I’ve got a list and am checking shit off as I go. TAB would be so proud of me.
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
~ Fran Lebowitz
Part of me is all "FUCK YOU, Fran" but I see how busy, busy, busy I'm keeping myself. This  thoughtful prep is powered by the frazzled agitata.
All things are ready, if our mind be so.
~ William Shakespeare, Henry V
I'll get there, Willy – really I will!

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