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Thursday, December 6, 2018

And now for some good news!

He's a Magic Man, I'm tellin' YOU!
No, the Tantrum-y Toddler in Chief and his Devoutly Hypocritical VP haven’t vanished in a fetid, fat puff of sleazebaggy, insane and mega corrupt smoke. Nope. THAT would be extravagant, dance-in-the-streets fabolicious news.

My happy report is of the personal variety. I saw the GREAT cutter, Doc Coumans yesterday. Waddya know, not only am I healing AOK, I’m fucking well ahead of schedule! Jesus Beautifully Scarred Christ, I'm happy as a lush swimming in an oak cask filled with 15 Year Old Glenfiddich.

I’ll be starting Physical Therapy within the next two weeks (depends on PT schedules, NOT on my readiness) AND I can get back on my recumbent elliptical horse RIGHT NOW! He did advise me to take it slow BUT I've been cleared for takeoff!

The good/bad news is that I can begin driving once more (HATE driving but, ya know, it IS kinda necessary) as soon as I stop taking the prescribed Valium. Why, oh WHY, am I taking Valium? While these babies are more widely known for treating things like anxiety and alcohol withdrawal, they also work a treat on quelling the ol’ muscle spasms. Boyhowdy, as I prolly mentioned numerous, boring times already, I had some motherfucking, Godzilla sized back meat convulsions. Ya know, the kind that, if they'd happened in a body of H2O would've easily sparked a Tokyo swamping tsunami. Yeah, on the pain scale, depicted yesterday, post back surgery, I went to a full blown, flowering 11…maybe even a 12.

With this TREEmendous good news, I figured, I'd stop with the Valium today and, ya know, hit the gym, run errands and maybe just take a twirl around the Blue Hills. GREAT, fun idea right? I believe it was at this point that Jen slapped me silly ("silly" and me – that'd be redundant, y'all. Also, the whacking was of the metaphorical variety. Of course). She suggested (and by"suggested” I mean “ordered”) me to wait one more week.

Oh, OK. Christ what a (smart, wonderful) killjoy/tyrant.
Three days post slice-age
Three weeks after – is this the sexiest damn scar, OR WHAT!?

And now, I believe we’ve reached the ooooooo-gross-but-wicked-cool portion of this morning’s program. My three days post surgery scar shot AND how it looked yesterday after a mere three weeks. Is this a thing of outrageous beauty? The answer to that musical question is DAMN straight it most def is! That’s one hot lookin’ scar. Hell’s bells, it’s motherfucking centerfold material!

Now then, I’ve had a very busy week so far. Monday saw me taking a long walk with the visiting nurse. On Tuesday I was dashing (fast hobbling) around MEEI for my cornea check up and surgery follow up. Yesterday, Jen and I picked up a cookie platter from Ginger Betty’s to bring to the molto talented and compassionate team on Lunder Seven (who put up with me and my screaming). Then we hoofed it WAY across the vast MGH campus to see Mister Wizard (AKA Doc Coumans).

What this means is that I’m, for reals and true, gonna be smart today and take it way easy. Maybe a walk to the seawall. Possibly put the base drawing down on the painting I started right before surgery. I’ll read in my big, ugly, yet majestically comfortable, adjustable chair. AND, no day is complete without a nap with my sweet Coco.

Yeah, shit’s good here in Valhalla by the Sea!


  1. Hey, that sounds like things are progressing. I always want to get off the meds. Granted, my drug of choice is alcohol, and maybe if my drug of choice were painkillers, then I'd be bummed out and planning how I can get by with one more scrip, but it's not, and I like being clearheaded during the day.

    The scar, to the extent it heals with one, is going to look as though it's where your wings folded out.

    And I look forward to your post after the Toddler in Chief finally does vanish in a puff of smoke.

    1. :-) I like that -- that it'll look like where my wings fold out :-)

      If I could have wine instead of the heavy duty painkillers I'd be thrilled -- a sodden mess with an endangered liver BUT.....emmmm, never mind, I believe I lost my point.