The Worst

A chair so offensively beige that it
HAD to be masked by an old sheet.

Wanna know the worst part of recovery from surgery where every major muscle in my back was sliced and had to grow back together and heal and shit?

Could it be:

* The near constant pain? (now, motherfucking thankfully, intermittent)
* Possibly it was the way, in the beginning of this adventure, my close up vision was foggy and blurry as hell (and WUT up with that!?)
* That pain thing again:
        Driving triggers it
        Sitting in a hard back chair, while working, sets it off
        Doing my very simple leg strengthening exercises can spark it up.

Essentially, anything other than, say, walking (NO hills!) or sitting back in my borrowed BEIGE recliner, reading is a danger zone.

I’ve been molto limited in what I can do for myself and that blows major Bantha wang.

BUT is this the worst part of recovery? Actually…no.

I’m now at week eight (I was told recovery would be six to eight weeks) so I should be ALLLLL better now. Right? Ah no. Not quite. That stupid two week cold really threw me off course. I’m not in bad shape by any means BUT I’m not in my old semi fit form either.

Still, this is not the worst part of recovery. This is:

Now that I’m, (depending on the mo and more or less), back to as normal as I ever get, I’m doing a LOT more for myself. Laundry, dishes, tidying, watering my indoor forest, cooking (AKA opening a can ‘o’ soup or heating up leftovers. YES, that counts as cooking in my damn house!), grocery shopping (cat fud and tinned soup ain't gonna magically appear in my cupboard, dammit), taking out the trash and recycling. I REALLY liked it when Jen and Ten (Hey, they rhyme!) did simply everything for me. Hells bells, I didn’t even need to leave this damn comfortable (but BEIGE) recliner to do so much as refill my coffee mug! 

That was nice and I miss it…possibly desperately.

Y’all know I’m lazy as hell so you can, clearly, understand how being done for 24/7 was heaven on earth. It was, mondo seriously now, awesome!

Weirdly, instead of playing this out, extending my recovery/invalid time (‘cause I had a cold and shit! I deserve two more FULL weeks of complete pampering!), I’ve begun taking daily 20-30 walks (to build strength). I’m also faithful as fuck about my stretching and other leg exercises. I’m thinking that, later this morning, I’ll hit the Y and try the elliptical. No arm work though – that stresses my back muscles to the max and back. I need input from the nice rehab folk before I attempt that shit.

Basically, I suck at self-indulgence.

Gotta work on this. I’ll put that on my To Do list but down at the bottom because I have to go clean up some cat puke, scrub the rain room, load the dishwasher, make brekkie, pay bills and do some layout work.

No rest for the perpetual motion machine, eh?