Give and Take

It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.
~ William Blake

Why? I don’t expect an enemy to have my back, to treat me with respect, to behave decently. If/when they do, it’s a shocking surprise. It doesn’t mean that I automatically forgive, forget or disregard all the reasons for prior distrust and distance. Fuck no. No fool, I.

When someone whom I’ve trusted with my heart, a person I’ve loved and supported, does me dirt or fails to help me even in the smallest of ways… well, babies, that’s a whole ‘nother ballgame. I’m an independent cuss – a wary motherfucker. While I’m well aware that every last one of us makes mistakes and has limitations; that we are all, on occasion, the asshole (I may, in fact, have a B.A. in Assholedom), if you play the self absorbed, no-one-matters-but-me-ME-ME card often enough, the door to Donnaville locks shut. See above – “fool?” Not me.

Life, for the vast majority of us is a long, winding hard road. I know that it most assuredly ain’t just me who’s swimming against the current. Kind words, a nice casserole, the odd, amusing card, pretty pics or a funny text go a long way toward buoying my spirits. I try to give as good as I get ('cept for the casserole part because, as you well know, me and cooking aren't on felicitous terms).

This is a blistering motherfucker of a year. We’re all having a hell of a time staying afloat. A couple of acquaintances keep after me to contribute or take part in their wonderful, laudable Resistance efforts. I wish I could do more but, speaking of assholes, Nf2’s really getting in my way. 

I’m meeting with Doc Plotkin on Monday to discuss where we go from here vis-à-vis my seizure inspiring bean tumors. Paraphrasing old Will:

To slice me open or not to slice, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous meningiomas,
Or to take arms against a sea of intruding motherfuckers
And by opposing end them.

Meanwhile, today, I have a physical therapy appointment for my still recovering spine. I believe I’m improving on this score. I took two walks yesterday as well as two rides on the elliptical. Yes, I was in some pain afterward BUT this is why the little baby Bast created Tylenol.

Right?!