Is deafness a disability?

This question popped up on one of my social media feeds the other day. The answer, to my mind, is that it entirely depends on your circumstances, who and where you are.

Fer instance, an acquaintance of mine, (deaf since birth) is a teacher and soccer coach at a school for deaf children here in Massachusetts. His wife, deaf since birth, is also a teacher. They have a daughter, own their home, travel and have a wide and diverse social life. I very much doubt that my friend and his wife consider themselves disabled. They're not. They’re big D deaf – culturally deaf.

Me? I’m a late deafened (at age 46) human on top of all my other bullshit neurological issues. ASL was not my first language (and my signing remains pretty weak), my work/social life wasn’t/isn’t within the deaf community and, pre-deafening, music was a MEGA HUGE part of my life.

Sure, I could have/could still, make a greater effort to break into/make more friends in the local Deaf community and gain ASL fluency but life’s just not so easy, so cut and dry. I have a job (granted, the hours are fluid and I can work from home or wherever I can get a WiFi signal). I have paintings that aren’t gonna start or finish themselves, family and friends I don't see nearly often enough and a whole pile of other health issues on my plate. I’m not just sans audio – I have Nf2.

PLUS I’m one of those awful morning persons. A lot, if not all, of the Deaf Socials happen (happened – pre-Trump Plague) in the evening. I’m in bed reading with Coco by 8PM (no, not every night and yes, that’s obscenely early) AND I don’t drive at night anymore (my night vision blows). Between this and being perpetually on the recovery train, I’ve not made major efforts to immerse myself in Deaf Land.

When we lived in Cambridge, before my hearing took the last train for the coast, I‘d hit the live music clubs two or more nights a week. We’d throw big raucous house parties. Bunches of us would gather for din-din and adult bevs in Inman and Central Squares.

I’m no longer kicking up my heels, pogoing my ass off at the Middle East, dining out at the latest new, wild food joint and I no longer host big shindigs. Is this all because I’m deaf and have myriad other, banjaxing health bullshit going on? Or is it because I’m older (62, thenkyewveddymuch). Mebbe my social stylin' has changed/aged and I’m just not into partying like it’s 1999 anymore?

I believe it’s a little of both. I like my quiet life. Watching Picard (GREAT show!), whilst sipping vino and snacking on roasted Brussels sprouts with Jen and Oni. Taking walks along the seawall and just chillin' with my man Ten. I like that I don’t have to deal with our neighbors who rock the assholian stripes.

An aside: do they not break out in the chit chat with me because I’m deaf and too much for them to communicate with? OR is this more due to my not-exactly-welcoming, resting rabid Godzilla face?

Yes, I’m disabled. 

That sounds so all encompassing, so dire, though. I desperately miss music and conversational ease. I miss being in better, fighting form but the show’s not over yet. Who knows what’s beyond the next bend in the road? I have limits but don't we all?