Dinner and a Show

Last night, for our weekly Wednesday teevee and takeout time, Jen picked up grub from a new (new to us anyway) restaurant. Here’s the shocking bit—the joint’s vegan! You might be thinking, you live near (ultra near) a major northeastern coastal city—of course you have a bazillion vegetarian and vegan options.

Noperino, not on Boston’s South Shore. Even the mac and cheese has meat in it (bacon). On a few occasions I’ve even encountered waitstaff who’ve pointed out chicken dishes when I’ve inquired about vegetarian options. CHICKEN!

The eatery's menu is geared more toward lunch or on-the-go type food rather than formal dining BUT, as the menu states: all items are vegan with vegetarian upon request. This is a huge step for us meat eschewers on the South Shore.

Mind you, it’s certainly possible to order vegetarian meals at one of the numerous Chinese, Thai, Korean, Japanese, Indian or Mediterranean eateries here BUT, if all I want is a simple black bean burger and fries, I’ve been shit outta luck.

The Garden Patch has a lot of fake meat offerings—not just veggie burgers. I really don’t need or want a vegan steak bomb or a vegan chicken parm sub. Those are entertaining, if not captivating, options though. Having said that, I’m def gonna need to check out their “shrimp” scampi and “crab” cakes next time.

What did we get last night? Empanadas, jalapeño "mozzarella" sticks and “fish” tacos.  Definitely worthwhile.

What about our teevee viewing? We decided to rewatch Crazyhead (which, tragically ran for just one brief, glorious season).

Bowling alley worker Amy and nonconformist Raquel kick some serious demon butt while also facing their inner demons as they navigate their early 20s. (source)

One of the things I absolutely love about a lot of shows out of the U.K. is that the actors often look like real people. They’re not all ultra thin, white, conventionally attractive, sporting awesome make up and rocking perfect hair (even after a fight scene). Think Charmed and Buffy versus Misfits, Being Human or, ya know, Crazyhead.

It’s a relief (and unusual) to see humans on screen who have actual flaws. Granted, if all the actors looked like MAGAts I wouldn’t watch either but, c'mon, there's a mid-ground between Tom Ellis and this. Fer fuck’s sake, how about a little on U.S. screen representation for those of us less blessed by Aphrodite and Adonis?                   

Clowns

 Let’s talk about lead singers. Mick Jagger, Roger Daltrey and that guy from R.E.M.—I just could NOT deal with their stage histrionics.

Generally, I like the Rolling Stones but watching Mick flap his arms, running around on stage like a coked up blue heron was mega distracting. He struck me as an aerobicizing ego clown.

Daltrey? Sure, he was dead gorgeous (still is) but, that mic swinging bullshit? Just frat boy antics ruining every song. I couldn’t take him at all seriously.

REM guy? I enjoyed the band’s tunes but, man, that singer’s stage presence was 99 kinds of melancholy blue funk. He struck me as being in love with his own tortured artist persona.

These boys, to my mind, weren't so much into the music as they were in love with the stage, the adulation and ego stroking.

Why do I find these dudes pretentious as fuck but NOT David Byrne or David Bowie? 

//shrugs// 

David and David were better actors/performers/musicians. They became an integral part of the art they created—the Davids weren’t just singing songs with extra added over-the-top melodramatics. Maybe, I simply preferred their music?

Also, apparently I have virtually no sense of humor when it comes to tuneage. What can you expect from a human wildly in awe of Emerson, Lake and Palmer (Pictures at an Exhibition, Brain Salad Surgery…SWOON), King Crimson, Jeff Beck, etc., etc.

Oh wait—I DO have a musical sense of humor (sort of). There was the comedic (unintentionally comedic?) recording of The Queen of the Night aria  (AKA Der Hölle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen—Hell’s vengeance boils in my heart ) from Mozart’s Magic Flute. I remember hearing a recording of it (5,000,000 years ago when I was a music major in college) by an incredibly gifted, precision, coloratura soprano. She managed to deliberately go flat on one random note out of each phrase. It was hilarious. 

This brilliant, technical whirlwind, tour de force aria performed with purposeful odd clinkers, surgically inserted—why did I find this amusing? Maybe I was in wild awe of the soprano’s insane chops. She was so damn hardcore talented that she was able to casually twist certain individual notes sideways. (Ummm, possibly imagine Simone Biles going all Gangnam Style at random points of her floor routine?) It was mondo delightful and made me laugh. 46 years later and deaf, the memory of it still does.

Okay, I guess that doesn’t really count towards me having a musical sense of humor. Also, my apologies but I can’t find a recording of this intentionally flawed aria performance.

Silverday

It's Monday AGAIN and I've a full day of rehab appointments and other doctor shit ahead of me. I'm going to avoid the news in hopes of keeping my spirits, my energy up and at 'em. In fact, I'm going to give all unpleasantness a hard pass. That's unrealistic, you say? You can't live in a fantasy world, you add with no small concern.

Watch me! Also, CHILL. It's just for one day. I'll rejoin the wider reality realms mañana.

 Meanwhile, here, have some thoughts about liars. 

The people who lie the most are nearly always the clumsiest at it, and they're easier to fool with lies than most people, too. You'd think they'd be on the look-out for lies, but they seem to be the very ones that will believe almost anything at all.
~ Dashiell Hammett, The Thin Man

Choose your leaders
with wisdom and forethought.
To be led by a coward
is to be controlled
by all that the coward fears.
To be led by a fool
is to be led
by the opportunists
who control the fool.
To be led by a thief
is to offer up
your most precious treasures
to be stolen.
To be led by a liar
is to ask
to be told lies.
To be led by a tyrant
is to sell yourself
and those you love
into slavery.
~ Octavia E. Butler, Parable of the Talents

Cathy's lies were never innocent. Their purpose was to escape punishment, or work, or responsibility, and they were used for profit. Most liars are tripped up either because they forget what they have told or because the lie is suddenly faced with an incontrovertible truth. But Cathy did not forget her lies, and she developed the most effective method of lying. She stayed close enough to the truth so that one could never be sure. She knew two other methods also -- either to interlard her lies with truth or to tell a truth as though it were a lie. If one is accused of a lie and it turns out to be the truth, there is a backlog that will last a long time and protect a number of untruths.
~ John Steinbeck, East of Eden

The clergy are, practically, the most irresponsible of all talkers.
~ George Eliot

What I admire most about Republicans is that they never run out of lies.
~ Oliver Markus Malloy, American Fascism: A German Writer's Urgent Warning To America

Pathological liars call a situation a "misunderstanding" most especially when their deceptions return to them as karmic whirlwind.
~ Angelica Hopes

I’M SUFFERING HERE!!!

 Jen, Oni and I watched the last episode of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds’ season two last night. It was a killer fucking cliffhanger! Worse yet, due to the Hollywood writer’s strike, season three isn’t due to come out before late-2024 or 2025.This is insane and horrendously cruel. I blame the clueless Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP) and the goddamn, monstrously overpaid, greedy-ass CEOs.

I’M SUFFERING HERE!!!

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.
~ J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

Tolkien, for some odd reason, neglected to mention Star Trek along with food and cheer—things that should be valued over hoarded gold. How odd.

Brian Robbins is the Prez and CEO of Paramount Pictures which puts out Star Trek: Strange New Worlds. Dude makes somewhere in the neighborhood of $6 million a year (before bonuses and other random perks) He owns a mansion in LA’s Hancock Park neighborhood (picked up for a 12.4 million dollar song in 2017). He owns a Santa Barbara house worth $6.98 million. In February 2020, he spent $16.8 million on a mega mansion in Beverly Hills. 

WHY does he need all these palaces (which are no more than 100 miles from each other)? I could see having, besides a main LA dwelling, a pied-à-terre in Manhattan, a Parisian townhouse, an estate on the shore of Lake Como in Italy but THREE ultra pricy oversized pads all, practically, in the same area code?

Robbin’s net worth is $150 million. 

Explain to me like I’m five, how this man can’t afford to pay his writers a fair wage.

To go all Italian grandmother on you, I have so few joys in life now. I deserve to have season three of Strange New Worlds come out next fucking week, NOT at the end of next year or later.

Once again with feeling, I’M SUFFERING HERE!!!

Also, of the characters who aren’t Pike, Spock and Uhuru, I think Lt. Erica Ortega is my favorite. Just FYI and shit. 

AND, I only mention it but, the addition of Carol Kane as Chief Engineer Pelia, was stone brilliance.

Let's Have a Few Words

 Fartlek
     noun
a training technique, used especially among runners, consisting of bursts of intense effort loosely alternating with less strenuous activity.

Fartlek comes from a combination of the Swedish words fart, meaning “speed,” and lek, “play.”

Sure, sure…so you, Mister Dictionary, say. I’m pretty damn positive fartlek is the diminutive form of a Force Five air biscuit. As in: 

Asparagus gives me a wee case of the vapors. Nothing serious though—just fartleks.

Quiddity
     noun
the essential nature of a thing.

Sorry…wrong. The root here is “quid” as in the British slang for a pound sterling. 100 pence equals one quid. Pence, in this case and just to be clear, should not to be confused with a certain former governor of the state of Indiana who went on to become the ass-lickingest, most soulless, Renfieldian veep of all time. We would never, ever want 100 of this kind of Pence.

So then, what does quiddity really mean? To be, fundamentally, the quintessence of one pound sterling. Yeah, I know zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Not someone you’d date twice.

Collywobbles
     noun
a feeling of fear, apprehension, or nervousness.

Collywobbles is most likely a coinage based on the words colic and wobble.
* Wobble comes from Low German wabbeln, which is akin to Middle High German wabelen, “to waver.”
* Colic comes from Middle French colique, from Latin colica (passiō), “(suffering) of the colon.”

NOT to be confused with the brill Scottish term, cockwomble, which is often, mega appropriately, used in describing a certain twice impeached, quadrice indicted, shit spouting, rabid, orange id. 

Obstreperous
     adjective
noisy, clamorous, or boisterous and difficult to control.

This, THIS, is why I chose not to reproduce—kids are too damn obstreperous. Well, that and there's all my Nf2  horseshit.

Littoral
     adjective
of or relating to the shore of a lake, sea, or ocean.

First recorded in 1650–60; from Latin littorālis, variant of lītorālis “of the shore,”

I, literally live in a littoral shellfish heaven.

Antepenultimate
     adjective
third from the end.

Nope. This is your mother or father’s sister who is your second bestest, favoritest relative. She’s Aunty Penultimate BUT you pronounce aunty as though you’re from the midwest versus Boston. It’s anty (as in the tiny, industrious insect) not awnty.

Pulchritudinous
     adjective
physically beautiful; comely.

Maybe it’s just me but the word sounds like it should mean just the opposite. Honestly, roll the damn word around in your mouth. You can’t tell me that Beyoncé or Idris Elba come to mind when you hear or read pulchritudinous.

Latibulate
     verb
To hide oneself in a corner

The Latin word latibulum means a “refuge or hiding place of animals.” It derives from the same root that gives us the English word latent, meaning “hidden.”

Okay fine. I can go with that but, for some odd reason, when I hear the word in my head, I think labia. FYI, that is NOT the same thing.

Having said that, Anna Freud may have latibulated her labia in London.

Yur welcome.

Liar, liar, pants in full, level 5 blaze

 Well, Cheeto’s been booked for the fourth time in five months. I guess he’s on the catch and release arrest plan. He was allowed to submit his height and weight in advance to make the process shorter. OF COURSE he lied like the grifting stack of rabid, unwashed, oleaginous sweat socks that he is.

He says he’s 6’3”—not in this lifetime. He says he’s 215 pounds—possibly at birth but most def not now.

Also, that mug shot? He was obviously doing one of his I’m-campaigning-as-a-big-tough-guy poses and, waddya know, according to the NY Post, merch featuring his nasty, bloated visage is already available on his site.

What an A.S.S. (Always Selling Shit).

Ain't Life Grand

Is anyone on the planet at all surprised that Prigozhin, the head of the mercenary Wagner Group, died in an horrific "accident?"

Since his short-lived mutiny against Russia's top military commanders, whom he had repeatedly criticised for their strategy in Ukraine, Prigozhin had kept a relatively low profile.

Under a deal to end the rebellion, charges against him were dropped on the understanding that he relocate to Belarus. 

He appeared to do so, albeit briefly, and on his own terms. (source)

Does any sane human have doubts that, after Wagner went a bit rogue, Pooty-Poot arranged/ordered this?

Roman Saponkov, a war reporter thought to be linked to Wagner…argued that the group’s chief had been assassinated. (source)

Yeah, DUH and Mister Saponkov might want to take a long-ass holiday in an undisclosed foreign locale before Cheeto’s role model gets to him too.

Cindy Dees, author and former Air Force pilot, had this (amongst other things) to say:

Having seen amateur video of Prigozhin’s going down, falling vertically in what resembled a slow flat spin and concluding with the plane pitching about 85 degrees nose low, before it disappeared behind the trees, that was a shot down plane.
~~~
ERJ-is 135’s have nice, fat wings that want to fly. They aerodynamically want to recover from stalls. Which is to say, there’s basically no way that plane stopped moving forward and fell vertically 28,000 feet to the ground in a simple “stall.” That plane would’ve recovered from a stall in more like 1,000 feet lost altittude. Even if it lost both engines it would have come down to the ground like a glider, not a lawn dart. (source)

Go to the link—read the rest of her analysis

Make no mistake, Prigozhin was NOT a Good Guy™. Of the two disturbingly vile, psycho death merchants (the other being Pooty, of course), Prigozhin is the one who was able to read the goddamn writing on the wall. Russia’s losing in Ukraine. Badly. All the invasion of Ukraine is accomplishing is the accelerated creation of more dead Russians.

Initially, most of Wagner's mercenaries were recruited from Russia's elite regiments and special forces units, and were thought to have totalled about 5,000.

In 2022, Prigozhin recruited prisoners from Russian jails to fight for Wagner in Ukraine, in exchange for pardons. In June, he said the group had 25,000 fighters. 

Wagner forces have also been operating on contracts in Syria and in African countries such as Mali, the Central African Republic, Sudan and Libya. (source)

Those prisoner soldiers? Yeah, the ones who survive aren’t going back to Mother Russia as transformed model citizens. They're bringing all their innate sadistic bullshit, along with what they've learned in war, home. Russia—now even more whacked out than Florida.

So, Vladimort strikes yet again and, BONUS, gives his biggest fanbois, Cheeto, a mushroom stiffy. Ain’t life grand?

Up the Spout

 I only mention it but bringing new life into this world is a danger-packed undertaking, especially if you live in a state that considers women to be nothing but possessions, undeserving of self-determination or equality on any level.

Let’s first look at maternal mortality rates.
Here are 12 states with the highest maternal death rates as of May 2023 (per 100k live births):

Arkansas—43.50
Mississippi—43
Tennessee—41.70
Alabama—41.40
Louisiana—39
Kentucky—38.40
Georgia—33.90
South Carolina—32.70
Arizona—31.40
Indiana—31.10
Oklahoma—30.30
New Mexico—30.20
(source)

And unsurprisingly, here are 12 states where abortion is banned, most with no exceptions for rape or incest. Note the overlap (in boldface) with the the top 12 dead-mother states.

Alabama
Arkansas
Idaho *
Indiana
Kentucky
Louisiana
Mississippi
Missouri
North Dakota**
Oklahoma
South Dakota
Tennessee

* Abortion is banned with exceptions for rape and incest. In January, the Idaho Supreme Court ruled there is no constitutional right to abortion. A federal judge ruled in August 2022 that doctors cannot be punished for performing an abortion to protect a patient’s health.
** Abortion is banned with exceptions for rape or incest only in the first six weeks of pregnancy. A separate ban on most abortions was indefinitely blocked by a judge. (source)

In Texas:

Abortion is banned with no exceptions for rape or incest. Private citizens can sue abortion providers and those who assist patients seeking an abortion after about six weeks of pregnancy. (source)

How astoundingly barbaric but what else can be expected of Governor Greg Abottoir? Interestingly, a study done at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center:

...looked at 28 women whose water broke before 23 weeks into their pregnancies, too early for the fetuses to be viable. The women were made to wait nine days on average before doctors would intervene and terminate the pregnancies. Nearly 60 percent of the women experienced serious complications, including infection and hemorrhaging — nearly double the proportion of those in states without bans. (source)

Just FYI abortion is healthcare. Given these insane laws (made by on-the-take politicians NOT OB-GYNs) and utter disregard for women’s lives, WHY would anyone risk their life to have a child?

Also, with the way we humans are destroying our own home—Earth—WHY would anyone even want to bring innocents into this horror show?

Why not get a dog, a cat, a family of squirrels—their birth won’t kill or maim you. Furthermore, a kitten isn’t going to break your heart by becoming an artist instead of a lawyer. A puppy isn’t going to cost you mega bucks to send to college. That squirrel family just wants nuts, seeds and a few Oreos versus expensive trips to Disney and Caribbean beaches.

And then we have the state of Georgia with its $5B budget surplus. The Republican governor and his equally fascistic, elected shitbuckets are axing funds for sexual assault centers and other agencies which their constituents need.

So much for government of the people, by the people, for the people—ya know, democracy. By the by, us Vagina Americans are people too. Why is it that the so-called pro-lifers never seem to remember that?

Carrot Cake for Brekkie

I have osteoporosis. Isn’t that just 99 kinds of special? ‘the fuck is this shit anyway?

Osteoporosis is a bone disease that develops when bone mineral density and bone mass decreases, or when the quality or structure of bone changes. This can lead to a decrease in bone strength that can increase the risk of broken bones.
~~~
Osteoporosis is the major cause of fractures in postmenopausal women and in older men. Fractures can occur in any bone but happen most often in bones of the hip, vertebrae in the spine, and wrist.
~~~
Osteoporosis is called a “silent” disease” because there are typically no symptoms until a bone is broken. Symptoms of vertebral (spine) fracture include severe back pain, loss of height, or spine malformations such as a stooped or hunched posture (kyphosis). (source)

I've never broken any of the bones in my spine BUT I'm now nearly two inches shorter than I was five years ago. I blame all my spine surgeries (four so far—wheeee!) for that shit though.

Given my propensity for rare diseases, is osteoporosis common? 

Yes actually.

It affects almost 20% (1 in 5) of women aged 50 and over and almost 5% (1 in 20) of men aged 50 and over. (source)

How/why did I know to get tested for this shit? Was I breaking bones every six minutes or so? Shockingly, given my wonk-ass balance and how often I was falling during my hospital/rehab facility years, no. Doc Plotkin has been making me take bone density tests (simple, NOT scary, scans) for more than a few years now in an effort to head off me becoming the Bone Break Kid. Can you feature me in a cast? Fuck no! I’ve got more than enough wrong with me as it is.

Mega sadly, carrot cake contains NO vitamin D. Good news though, one slice (defined as 1/10 of 1-layer, 8" or 9" diameter cake) has 46 milligrams of calcium. You might be thinking ‘that ain’t much, Donna.’

Party pooper! That’s glass-half-full thinking and NOT helpful.

I say, ‘it’s got calcium which means it’s good for me AND a fine breakfast choice.’ That there is just irrefutable logic.

Besides eating carrot cake for breakfast as well as other foods chock-full of vitamin D and calcium, how else can I combat bone density loss? 

• Doing weight-bearing exercises like walking. ✔
• Limit my adult bev intake. ✔
• No ciggies. ✔
• Take my goddamn pill religiously. ✔

I’m on it.

The Hard Way

Some of us—probably a lot of us—end up learning basic life lessons the hard way. At least some of them.

Fer instance, I should’ve taken a typing class in high school. This was decades before the advent of personal computers and typing becoming as natural as breathing. In the mid-70s, the only reason to learn how to type, to my inexperienced, shortsighted bean, was to become a secretary. BORING and way too limiting. Remember, I was young, did NOT want to be pigeonholed in a traditionally girls-only job and was most def not thinking ahead.

By the time I moved to Boston (at the age of 22) to start my big, new, adult life, I had, essentially, no concrete job skills. I’d been a carny, modeled for art classes at the local college, worked at a movie theater and sold fireworks on street corners in Houston (what Texas based carnies did in winter after the season ended).

My majors in college had been music and art. I hadn’t planned on what I’d do to earn post-college money to pay the rent. I know, not terribly bright of me. Before leaving campus for the last time, I went to a job center to investigate what gigs might be open to someone with my education, interests and limited experience. The woman at the desk laughed in my face, saying that I’d waited until too late to start exploring my options (DUH no kidding?!). She didn’t offer any sort of assistance, just disdainfully laughed—I booked.

I had enough dough saved so I could move to Boston and  get a place to live until my financial feet were under me. I had to get work fast though. There was no backup from my folks—all their money went towards supporting and bailing out two of my troubled siblings. I was on my own.

 My first adult jobs? Waitressing the breakfast shift at a Friendly’s, modeling for art classes at local colleges, working the grill and cashiering at a fast-food joint, making copies. I held three and four jobs at a time in order to make the rent. I ate sunflower seed butter (peanut butter was too expensive), ramen noodles and chicken wings (this was eons before wings became a thing. In 1980 they were just the cheapest protein there was). For entertainment, I borrowed books from the library. I walked or took the trolley everywhere. In fact, I didn’t have a car (an extremely old and unattractive Mustang) until I was in my 40s.

My long road to achieving a health insurance providing full time job could’ve been shortened had I taken that high school typing class or a computer programming course or two in college.

It was the copy job that, eventually, got me into offset printing which led to training/teaching and, later, graphic design. Good, fun if not mega-bucks paying positions.

Yep, I learned how to support myself the hard way. I could’ve made better choices but, with no one advising me or giving me cash infusions, I did the best I could. It was far from easy but I made shit work.

My advice to folks just entering adulthood? Be pragmatic. Prioritize your needs and be realistic about what those needs are. Unless you come from money and generous parents, you’re going to have to learn some boring skills in order to get the bills paid. Failing that, you’ll be low level waitressing, working the register at McDonald’s or being a greeter at Walmart. There’s no shame in that AT ALL but there are less onerous ways to pay the bills.

Blocking

The man’s just a bloated ego on two legs—that’s MusKKK (AKA Space Karen, Cheeto’s younger brother, Melonhead, etc.). There’s no room in his glitching bean for rational thought. His blindingly arrogant, masturbatory self-regard crowds out even the skinniest bit of logic and reason.

The blocking feature will be removed for users of X, formerly Twitter, Elon Musk has announced, claiming the feature "makes no sense”. (source)

Makes no sense? How the fuck does blocking NOT make sense?

The purpose of the block feature?

It allows me to limit my Tweetstream to only the people or organizations who post things I’m interested in. It’s similar to a television Parental Control feature.

When I block someone, they no longer see my posts and I don’t see theirs. This means that stalkers, trolls, MAGAts, asshats, rageaholics, Karens and Chads, Republi/Facists, pushy, judgmental “christians” and other assorted, harassing douche-buckets are kept well outside the fence. They can’t view or interact with me and my account. Blocking is a form of self-care.

It’s like fumigating to rid your apartment of cockroaches.  

I block all advertising too.

Space Karen says the mute function will remain. What’s that? When I mute someone, their posts no longer appear on my timeline. That’s nice BUT the person who’s been muted can still see and comment on my posts. They can also direct message me. This is not exactly an effective way to delete shitheelian wonders from what should be a lovely bit of time wasting distraction.

If Musk goes through with his promise, X may be removed from Apple’s App Store. The current guidelines state that apps with user-generated content must provide features such as blocking to protect users from abusive users on apps. (source)

As usual, the rotting Melonhead has not carefully thought things through. How will he replace all of us who are leaving if app stores (not just Apple—Google Play too) won't carry his devolving, decaying site?

This is the last straw and not just for me. Stonekettle's also gone as of today.

…I'm at pains to understand why I should provide the world's richest man with any more free content -- frankly the guy should be paying me. Particularly now that I'll have to deal with thousands upon thousands of trolls, bots, and screaming haters that I am no longer allowed to block while also working through X's garbage basic browser interface. (source) 

If I can’t tailor my experience to keep the fuckfaced asswipian shit piles away, there’s just no sane reason to sign on. The app formerly known as Twitter will be no different than Cheeto’s House of Dimwitted, Stinky Troglodytes (AKA "Truth" Social).

What an absolute putz!

You say it's your birthday...

 To paraphrase Lennon/McCartney:

It's my birthday too, yeah
They say it's my birthday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's my birthday (beats the fuck outta the alternative)
Happy birthday to me!

I’m beginning the day with rain and a physical therapy appointment. After that there’ll be lunch out, cocktails, possibly a nap with my boy Cake and then CAKE!  It’ll be a mellow, non-raucous day, filled with fab food (grilled brussel sprouts, tortellinis, guac and CAKE!), prosecco  (with strawberry slices floating in it) and maybe some teevee time (Good Omens 2—YES!).

I’ve achieved oldness—is that awesome or WUT!? (Yes, this is, in point of fact, wickedly awesome)

EEEEEEEP!

I have a birthday coming up…tomorrow actually. It’s a big one too—65. EEEEEEEP!

This is the average lifespan for someone with my extra special, rare disease—neurofibromatosis type 2. Clearly, I’m not dead yet. This is good news, yes?

To be honest, I’m a bit surprised about this. After these past few years—all the mega huge surgeries (4, count ‘em, 4!), proton radiation, chemo, eye procedures and endless rehab—I wouldn’t have bet on me. But, fuck man, I’m still here. How ‘bout that!?

Oh, speaking of endless rehab, my current physical therapist feels that I AM making progress after all and is looking into scheduling me for more appointments (versus cutting me off at the end of the month). I hate PT but I need it and it’s most awesome to finally see some positive results.

~~~
I saw this yesterday—I want to be 15 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas. To be abundantly clear, I do NOT want to go back to my teen years //shudder// at least not in a permanent way. It’d be interesting to pop in and out though. Ya know, undo/avoid a few embarrassing situations here and there.

If I could go back to any decade, would I? Maybe my 30s and up from there.
~~~
I just finished one of Tim Dorsey’s Serge Storms mystery/adventure/wild rides. Serge is sort of like Dexter but instead of creatively killing murderers who’ve managed to dodge justice, Serge imaginatively offs unrepentant, entitled bullies and other complete assholes who should never have been born. He’s brilliant, funny, wildly creative, has an immense wealth of knowledge about his beloved home state of Florida and he’s the most unlikely good guy you may ever come across.

Here are three lines that hit me:

Remember the key to life…always act like you deserve to be here.
(TRUTH!)

Far too quickly we grow into jaded adults and lose our appreciation for silliness.
(silly is good—stay silly.)

You never stop being Catholic. It’s like the Mafia or Amway.
(you can leave the church {as I did}, but the shame and pain inflicted by the nuns, takes time and a lot more effort to ditch.)
~~~
An important message from The Beaverton:

NASA warns alien life may not be fuckable

NASA’s interstellar sexual health spokesperson, Clarice Kravult, decried the golden age of Sci-fi in the 60s and 70s for creating unrealistic templates for attractive aliens:

“Horny writers who were paid by the word to appeal to teenagers set a standard that lingers to this day,” Clarice explained. “Do not expect aliens to be ageless nymphic figures that are fascinated by our naive ways, or statuesque stoic warriors who somehow find nebbish heroes charming.”  (source)

Well, there goes thousands of adolescent dweeb’s fantasies. Consider this a public service announcement. You're welcome.
~~~
That’s it from me today. It’s now time to do a few balance exercises, perform acts of hygiene and entertain Cake (aside from constant pats, he enjoys playing the occasional game of Monopoly—he always wins. I think he cheats.)

Class

Not all of us had/have parents, teachers, friends with time, interest or the ability to help with the ultra basic shit of becoming a functioning human on the planet.

With this in mind, these are some classes that I would’ve appreciated having had:

Healthy friendships and other relationships—what’s okay and what isn’t
Given my mother’s complete hands off parenting style (with me anyway) and the fact that my father (who tried to be a caring, involved parent), always had to work two full-time jobs to support us, I had a solid dearth of experience with understanding friendships and social interactions in general. There's also the reality of us moving every year or three.

What are boundaries? Why are they important? 

How to set them up, how to recognize when someone is trying to manipulate you and basic diplomacy (how to civilly tell someone to fuck off) should all be covered in this course.

The only childhood socializing advice I remember receiving was “don’t be a doormat.” Good but not exactly encyclopedic.

Household budgets—how to make them
What are your earnings and what are your bills. If, on graduating school, you’re working 40 hour weeks, making minimum wage ($15 an hour here in Massachusetts. (check your state here), how much will you need to put aside each month to pay rent, groceries, utilities and general necessities? How much is left over for socking away in a savings account, for socializing or treats? I, by the by, always listed art supplies under the General Necessities column.

Aunt Mary Ann taught me to set aside a little bit out of each paycheck. As little as ten bucks a week adds up over time—there’s your vacation fund or new computer money, right there.

Simple taxes—the basics
The 1040-EZ form is ridiculously simple and the 1040 isn’t much more challenging. I’m easily overwhelmed by math, forms and keeping track of things that can and can’t be deducted. Even I could do my taxes until TAB and I finally went legal (got officially hitched) bought Valhalla and, immediately afterward, had to do a zillion expensive, unexpected repairs. That and the surgeries which left me deaf—it was all a bit overwhelming.

Taxes aren’t quantum mechanics—you don’t need MIT level smarts to do ‘em. Demystify this shit.

Finding and evaluating your first apartment—a how to
Make an apartment search check list. Include on this:

• Neighborhood (where you would like to live/where you can afford to live)
• Security (is there a functioning intercom/buzzer system, do all windows and doors lock, etc.)
• Building cleanliness (evidence of bugs, vermin?)
• Do all the lights, outlets, appliances work?

For a much more complete list of what to look for check out this rent.com link.

Having workplace skills—why you need them and how to get some
Apart from the basics, do you have experience/abilities that could translate into a job that pays better and is more interesting than working the register at McDonald’s?

• Can you accurately type a zillion words a minute?
• Can you cook?
  
• Are you an Excel pro?
• Are you mechanically adept?
  

You may dream of supporting yourself as an artist (as I did) or writer but, until you can, you need to have a gig that pays you enough to survive, thrive and leaves you with enough energy and time to paint, write, pot, compete in Iron Man competitions, etc. So, with that dough you’ve been saving from your low level clerk gig, start taking time for job growth/advancement. Take some damn classes.

What classes/knowledge do you wish you'd had at a young age?

Morning!

This morning sky shot is from yesterday’s dawn walk. In contrast, this morning is bleak and rainy. (hence, no walkies, no pics)

I’ve got an early physical therapy appointment. Whoopee. It’s one of my last as they seem to view me as slow (to be fair, I am) and unpromising. I figure, once formal PT ends, I’ll keep on doing all the exercises and  start chair yoga as well. I WILL walk without support AGAIN...dammit.

In more thrilling news, we’ve now hit the oh-so-beautiful fourth indictment of that slovenly, twice impeached, pussy grabbing, lie spewing, bigoted, scumbaggian criminal. Will this shitstain finally go down? Will we finally see justice?

It’s looking good.

Summary

• Prosecutors in Georgia have charged Donald Trump and 18 others in a 41-count indictment for alleged attempts to overturn his 2020 election loss in the state

• An investigation was sparked in part by a leaked phone call in which the former president asked Georgia's top election official to "find 11,780 votes"

• Trump lost the state of Georgia to Joe Biden in the 2020 presidential election

• This is his fourth criminal indictment; he faces 78 charges from the three other cases - for allegations over election interference, hush money paid to a porn star, and hoarding classified documents (78!!! Cheeto might actually go down in orange, popping flames!)

• Trump has denied any wrongdoing in all of his criminal cases; calling the latest charges a "witch hunt" and suggesting they were politically motivated (“Witch hunt?” Dude needs to get some fresh lines—he’s worn this lie WAY the fuck out.)

• He hopes to win the US presidency again next year, and is currently the frontrunner for the Republican Party's nomination (Which tells you all you need to know about the party of lying-ass liars and the dipshits who vote for them.) (source)
  

I’m hoping all his co-conspirators get nailed and jailed too. If Georgia runs out of room in their prisons, maybe we can send Fuckface von Weaselshit and his traitorous gang of rich racketeers to Gitmo.

Strange New Episodes

The only thing I hate as much as country music is musical theater. Now that I’m deaf and WAY out of school, I never have to deal with that bastardization of song again…right? Correct...C'MON?!

Wrong and nope-a-reeno.

Given my loathing for this entertainment genre, why did I have to deal with musicals in school? I really enjoyed working backstage, painting sets and such. Plus, a lot of the theater kids, while socially a LOT more ept than yurs-misfit-truly, were different—not jocks/cheerleaders, not brainiac nerds or generic populars. Theater kids seemed more creative, fun and interesting. Also, less judgmental. Doing stagecraft was also a way to get out of my family’s turbulent home, be around safe-ish humans AND do something fun.

The actual music? Definitely NOT my bag.

Anyway, Jen, Oni and I were watching Star Trek: Strange New Worlds last night. This is the series with a healthy and awesome Captain Christopher Pike in charge of the Enterprise. It immediately precedes the original 1960s series.

The episode we watched before last night’s show was sad as hell. It dealt with war, specifically the Klingon Wars and the Battle of J’gal. Dr. Joseph M’Benga and Nurse Christine Chapel were both there, on the ground, trying to save lives. M*A*S*H in space without a speck of humor. 

M’Benga and Chapel still bear the emotional scars of battle. Of fucking course!

War, huh, yeah
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Say it again, y'all
War, huh (good God)
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Edwin Starr—War

After watching Cloak of War, I was looking forward to a lighter storyline. Imagine my utter surprise and chagrin when this next ep turned out to be a musical.

An accident with an experimental quantum probability field causes everyone on the USS Enterprise to break uncontrollably into song, but the real danger is that the field is expanding and beginning to impact other ships – allies and enemies alike. (source)

Appropriately, the story makes it clear that heightened emotion is what causes the characters to sing — which is, of course, the underlying rationale of music theater. (source)

At least they
gave a reason for pulling this horror show of a stunt.

By the by, the tunes were written by Kay Hanley of Boston band Letters to Cleo fame and Tom Polce.

The only tune I wish I could’ve heard was the one with rapping Klingons. Okay, they only showed a snippet of that but it looked way more fun than the soggy, morose songs performed by the Enterprise crew. They all appeared overwrought and the lyrics, in closed captioning, were just dripping with young adult angst.

MAYBE I would have enjoyed the show if I could’ve heard the tunes? I very much doubt that. I still had hearing when the Buffy episode—Once More With Feeling—came out. It was disappointing and underwhelming to say the very least. I was a HUGE fan of the show (as I am of Strange New Worlds) but this was just too damn much…just beyond the pale.

There’s just one episode left to this season of Strange New Worlds. I could do with some NOT singing Tribbles or, possibly, a rousing, scary Borg story. Oh wait, wait—I've got an idea!  What if there was a Next Generation Borg ep with singing and dancing? It’d just have to be in an Anything Goes style though. How about a Borg Queen/Picard duet of You’re the Top? 

Genius, no?!