Crimes

So, lemme see if I’ve got this right…pregnant women can’t cross state lines to get lifesaving medical care but it’s AOK for murder-happy asswipes like Killer Kyle to cross lines to shoot, kill and maim them. Do I have that right? 

Welcome to America where life, liberty and freedom are for white men and boys only.
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Some gustatory crimes:

• Pineapple on pizza (duh!).

• Mustard on pizza. What kind of a monster would do this?

• Chocolate on popcorn—LOVE dark chocolate, LOVE popcorn. They do NOT belong together. I’m a big fan of buttercream frosting but I wouldn’t put that on popcorn either.

• Boiled vegetables, ESPECIALLY boiled brussels sprouts. The roasting process was created for a very good reason. Therefor, boiling versus roasting is a mortal sin against the gods (and me too!).
  

• Ketchup on steak—yeah, I don’t eat cows but I’m able to spot a food felony when I see one.
  
  By the by, ketchup only belongs on french fries (though Sriracha is MUCH better).

I once had dinner at a boyfriend’s parent’s house. They made spaghetti. His mum served warmed up ketchup as tomato sauce. Yes—horrifying. Naturally, that relationship didn’t last. How could I trust a guy who was raised thinking that ketchup and tomato sauce are the same thing?

• Vodka martini—there’s no such thing. Martinis are made with gin and a quiet whisper of vermouth PERIOD. Anything else is a cocktail. Pouring your vodka drink into a martini glass does NOT make it a martini.

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Huge dust up in book world—a first time, young author whose debut novel was to come out in May has imploded in pretty amazing fashion. Penguin Random House planned on publishing her—this would be any aspiring writer’s greatest dream come true.

How did Cait Corrain banjax the fuck out of the dream? By review bombing her fellow young, debuting authors whose books are also due out in May.

Review Bomb
     verb
to manipulate an online rating system with a semiorganized campaign of unfavorable user reviews, often as a general statement of disapproval for a creator, a publisher, or other business, rather than a genuine opinion about a specific product or experience:

Corrain, who’s white, specifically targeted authors of color. New white writers? Apparently she has no problem with them. New Black or brown authors—lock review bomb on target.

Corrain has “apologized.” The reason she gave for her egregious and racist behavior? She’s struggling with booze and other drug addictions on top of general mental illness.

Okay. I only mention it but Sylvia Plath and Virginia Woolf had mental health problems. Elizabeth Barrett Browning was an opium addict. Philip Dick was lost in a sea of hallucinogenics. Ayn Rand was a major speed freak. Charles Bukowski, Dorothy Parker, Jack Kerouac and countless other authors were drunks. I don’t recall reading about any of them attempting to sabotage the careers of their fellow scribblers.

To be wicked clear, Corrain’s substance abuse didn’t cause her to become a racist—it simply revealed what was there all along.

Chuck Wendig put it perfectly:

It’s rarely good when Author Drama makes it to NBC. Once your shit hits the national news, you know you fucked up real good. (source)

So then, Cait, who’s just 30 years old, has pissed away her major, respected publishing house debut and got the ax from her agent too. Maybe she can become a talking head on Fox now. Isn’t that what all the other racist failures do?

The upside of this, for me, is that I no longer feel quite as embarrassed about my own early adult bad behaviors.