Rhinestone Cowboys

Cowboy hats, worn by anyone other than someone whose job is to, ya know, tend  COWS, is just about the stupidest “fashion” statement there is. It’s all about trying to look rugged, outdoorsy and manly. 

Allow me to clue the mullet-sporting drugstore cowpokes in—it looks like you’re playing dress-up. Do you also wear shiny spurs on your boots for all your imaginary admirers to check out while you’re perched on a barstool? How about dusters—another odious wannabe affectation. Put it all together and you have a Halloween costume that tells simply everyone you're a desperately insecure, tiny schwanzed wonder.

I only mention it but I used to work for a dude who, unironically, showed up for work in this ridiculous cosplay outfit. It was quite the task to take him seriously. Naturally he also had a gun collection which he claimed to keep in a gun locker so his kids couldn’t play with them.

I wonder what ever happened to him. Maybe he fucked off to Texas where he could live his cosplay cowhand dreams.

Did you know:

Over the decades the cattle industry, and enslaved Africans who worked it, migrated across the South and reached Texas by the 1850s. With one third of the state's population comprising enslaved workers, African Americans were the majority of cowboys in Texas in the early 1850s. (source)

Originally, white men who worked with cattle and horsies were called “cowhands.” Black men were called “cowboys.”

I’m SO unsurprised.
~~~
Here’s something outta Texas that actually makes sense (who knew this was even possible?). In the One Star State (yes, that’s a rating), where a woman is no more than an incubator and a fetus is a human being with more rights than its host body, a rational rule was put forward.

House Bill No. 521, proposed by representative Briscoe Cain, R-Baytown, would add a new rule allowing pregnant drivers to use HOV lanes, regardless of whether there's another passenger in the vehicle besides the unborn child. (source)

Apparently this logical bill, proposed in November of ‘22, hasn’t made it into law YET.

The Texas woman who was issued a traffic ticket for violating an HOV law revealed that she was ticketed not once, but twice. Brandy Bottone of Plano, Texas, made headlines after she was stopped at a sheriff's checkpoint in June 2022 for driving in a high-occupancy-vehicle lane while 34 weeks pregnant. (source)

Frankly, any Texan with lady parts should be able to drive in the HOV lane because they COULD possibly be pregnant. After all, up-the-spout symptoms don’t appear until one to six weeks after implantation. At any time a Texas women could be driving for two.

Adding to this, pregnant Texans should be able to take whatever child tax deductions there are—starting at conception.
~~~
In other Texas news, a man serving a life sentence for the “continuous sexual abuse” of a child has escaped the prison farm where he was a guest.

Yancy Jr. was last seen wearing a black beanie and a black sweater. He was in a white Nissan Versa, license plate DNR9145, the TDCJ said. (source)

Who’s the owner of this white Nissan Versa, license plate DNR9145? 

Who helped Robert Yancy Junior escape? 

Why does the government of Texas claim to value the lives of women and children but, in reality, only gives a shit about white men? Is that a question which Governor On-the-Take Abattoir or Senators Corrupt Cornyn and Creepy & Crooked Cruz (Harvard Law’s MOST embarrassing graduate) will ever address? I’m not holding my breath for an answer.