Random Friday

What? No reason!

I’m sick of seeing the Trump/Musk feud/breakup referred to in phrases like “the mean girls are fighting" and “it’s a cat fight.” Only women have nasty, petty fights? Someone ought to tell the boys.

I’ve seen folks defending fighting like teenage girls shit as using their own sexist, misogynistic language right back on them. Nope, it’s just the same plain, vanilla sexism and not amusing or witty in the least. It’s positioning women as inferior, silly, wonky, strange, and totally worth mocking.

Take Marge Taylor Greene for example, she is a great many horrible things. That she’s a woman is completely irrelevant. She’s not a ridiculous, harpy shrew, given to twisted flights of imagination and lies because she’s a woman. Her private bits have nothing to do with why she's a warped, beef-witted thug. Why zero in on them when dissing her? It just cheapens the argument.

As long as we’re at it, could everyone please stop referring to Lindsey Graham and Mike Johnson in feminized, gay-slamming terms? Certainly both men are spineless, bootlicking toads. Being gay has absolutely nothing to do with their foul natures and voting records. They’re loathsome, nasty creatures no matter who they boink.

Being in possession of a vagina and/or being gay does not mean you’re automatically infused with irrational, illogical, thinking, radical mood swings, and are prone to bouts of wild hyperbole Nope, you’re thinking of Republicanism. Nothing to do with gender.
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I saw a post – someone suggesting basic rules for ICE agents (yeah, like that’s ever gonna come to pass).

 ICE agents should:
1. Not wear a mask
2. Wear a visible ID # 
3. Carry a valid arrest warrant
4. Abduct/arrest the right person per the warrant 
5. Follow the law and not MAGA ideology that’s based on culture, religion, political beliefs or free speech.

Better still, I think ICE agents/contractors should:

• Wear fluorescent salamander costumes at all times – on duty and off. That’d really make ‘em stand out, right? We’d totally see those bastards coming.

• Have neon flashing IDs (yes, I’m ALL about visibility) which include a complete list of their handles on social media, including the embarrassing, goofy selfies taken while wearing those doofusy drugstore wraparound sunglasses (ya know, dudes all think they look SO cool in those. No man, you look cheap and unimaginative). This info will also be on their Day-Glo quacking audio business cards which they will be required to leave with all unarrested family members. 

•  The reasons for arrest must be equal to or worse than anything the Orange Taco has ever done in his entire hideous life. Anything less and the person walks. Considering the tangerine hued felon is a convicted rapist who’s responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths due to his horrific bungling of COVID, it looks like only Von ShitzenPantz’s fellow murderers and rapists get a free ride to Cecot.

• The warrant must be written in sestina poem form. Also, the agent must read it out to his intended capture as Billy Connolly would, with full Glaswegian accent.

• ICE are required to carry dark chocolate truffles with them at all times. Penalty for failure to do so? Agents are put in windowless dorm room size cells in Guantanamo with Trump after he’s consumed forty-six Big Macs and twenty-seven diet cokes. Oh yeah, there’s no toilet in the room. No air freshener either. Just for 48 hours though. We're not monsters, ya know!

• Agents may not carry weapons of any sort. They will be required to rely on sparkling personal charm, devastating good looks, Obama-level conversational skills, and an encyclopedic knowledge of the home country of the person they’ve been sent to collect. Basically, be they gotta Obama-esque (Barack or Michelle). Fail at this? Sorry, no collection and they’re back to Gitmo with old Stinky.

Yeah, they’re pretty much fucked.