Magic Trick: Turning Chiclets Into Martyrs

Do you know the name Horst Wessel? If, like me, your public school history classes were all about memorizing the dates of battles but not why the battles were fought or the machinations that led up to the entire bloody war to begin with, you’ve probably not heard of Horst either.

Born into a respectable family with a Lutheran minister father, Wessel became politically active during his youth, joining the Nazi Party in 1926 after rejecting other political ideologies he encountered at university. He quickly rose through the ranks, becoming the leader of a faction of the Sturmabteilung (SA), or Brownshirts, where he engaged in violent confrontations with communist groups in Berlin. 

Wessel is perhaps best remembered for his death in 1930, which was shrouded in controversy and quickly became a focal point for Nazi propaganda. His murder by communist members was exploited by the Nazi regime, transforming him into a martyr. The song he wrote, "Die Fahne hoch," later known as the "Horst Wessel Lied,” (Horst Wessel Song) became an anthem for the Nazi Party, symbolizing loyalty and sacrifice for the movement. (source) 

It’s obvious that Pres Pedo, Goebbels Miller, and VP Many Names want to turn Charlie Chiclet Teeth into a martyr but DAYUM there’s only so far you can warp reality before it bounces back.

You just can’t make a Horst Wessel out of a community college dropout, loser whose very own damn wife is selling death merch memorabilia and boosting her own career within hours of his murder. 

Clay Jones

Yeah, I’m well aware that we all grieve differently but this babe’s really working the death profit angle hard. Not a good look. No rapture for you Nazirella

Chiclets was a Nazi and no damn disingenuous cries of “oh, you’re taking what he said out of context” changes the facts. He was a disgusting, hate mongering, unintelligent, cruel, attention whore. His children are better off without him. Certainly his daughter is.   

AND speaking of Nazis (aren’t we always talking about them now?) I simply had to look up the etymology of the term.

 The full name of the Nazi Party was Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei (National Socialist German Workers' Party). That’s a mouthful, eh? Officially, the acronym NSDAP was employed.

Opponents of the NSDAP shortened the name Nationalsozialistische to Nazi. Nazi was, pre-NSDAP, a slam used for an awkward, clumsy person, a yokel. Ya know, a dimbulbed hillbilly. Unrelated, the word Nazi was also a nickname for German men named Ignatz (from Ignatius). Ignatz was a common name in Bavaria where the the NSDAP first began.

Nick Anderson

I only mention it BUT Chiclets’ alleged shooter, Tyler Robinson, is supposed to make his first court appearance on Tuesday afternoon. Isn’t that when the Rapture’s scheduled for though? Seems we might have a conflict.

Oh but wait…I’m just now hearing that the Rapture may need to be postponed anyway. Ya see, Jesus got nailed in an ICE raid and we’re not sure where he is.  Maybe he’s with the 1,200 men caged at Alligator Alcatraz who seem top have dropped out of existence? Maybe some of them are still at Alligator Alcatraz (which has NOT, in fact, closed)? Maybe the Miller/Noem Monster *oopsie* sent Jesus to CECOT, the Salvadorean Hell? Possibly our government is planning to ship god’s son off to Eswatini, formerly known as Swaziland, with Kilmar Abrego Garcia. I only mention it but neither Jesus nor Kilmar are originally from Eswatini. Details, details, eh?