The Movie

What shall we call her?

FLOTUS – First Lady Of The United States?

Eh, she’s not performing any of the tasks associated with that title and she, sure as fuck, ain’t no lady. At least not one as defined by Merriam-Webster.

Lady
     noun
1a: a woman having proprietary rights or authority especially as a feudal superior 
 b: a woman receiving the homage or devotion of a knight or lover 

2: a woman of refinement and gentle manners 

3a: any of various titled women in Great Britain—used as the customary title of (1) a marchioness, countess, viscountess, or baroness or (2) the wife of a knight, baronet, member of the peerage, or one having the courtesy title of lord and used as a courtesy title for the daughter of a duke, marquess, or earl 
b: a woman who is a member of an order of knighthood 

Okay, skip that. What about:

FPMOTUS – First Porn Model Of The United States?
FSWOTUS – First Sex Worker Of The United States?
FEEOTUS –  First Epstein Ex Of The United States?

There’s a “documentary” coming out about Melania Trump. It’s a $40 million project from Jeff Bezos and is widely expected to flop BIG time at the box office. Zilcho surprise there. No one, apart from MAGAt men and boys who fap to her old porn pics, has any interest in this plastic fraud. She’s a dimwitted, rightwing, racist grifter, just like the demented, felonious, pedophile pile of shit she married.

Bezos/Amazon had the movie made as a way to curry favor, to suck up to Trump. 40 mil is a LOT to shell out just to butter the felon’s capacious buns but, considering how little Bezos pays his Amazon workers, I guess he’s got the dosh to spare.

It’s long been claimed (but you know how those Republicans lie easier than they breathe) that the First Porn Model Of The U.S. got an undergraduate degree in architecture. Reality – it appears to be hype that she attended college at all. According to the fact checking site, Snopes:  

We also checked the Ljubljana University archives for any records of Melania Knauss, Melanija Knavs, and every other combination and alternate spellings of those names that we could find, and were unable to locate a record of her at that university, nor at any other university in the country.

Supposedly, she speaks six languages. The only way this is even vaguely true is like this:

She’s from Slovenia which was part of the former republic of Yugoslavia. Croatia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Serbia, Montenegro, North Macedonia, and Kosovo were as well. Serbian, Croatian, Bosnian, and Montenegrin are mutually intelligible languages.

 It’s like British English versus American English. There are different names for different things. (e.g. chips vs French fries, flat vs apartment, jumper vs sweater, football vs soccer, etc) Spelling, vocabulary, and pronunciations can vary just as they do in British vs American English. 

Another apt comparison might be someone from Dorchester or Quincy, Massachusetts having a conversation with someone from rural Mississippi. We’re all speaking English but our dialects are different. Frankly, I'd have a MUCH easier time understanding someone from Liverpool or Orkney than I would a U.S. citizen from Looxahoma or Yazoo City.

In any case, Slovenian is distinct from Serbian, Croatian, Bosnian, and Montenegrin but still South Slavic. Older Slovenians grew up with Serbo-Croatian as a shared language so, with context, they’re likely to understand.

All this is to say that, technically, Melania may understand five languages, besides Slovenian, but only if you class Bosnian, Croatian, Serbian, and Montenegrin as four fully separate languages and then add in English (which, from what I understand, she barely speaks unless she’s repeating words that someone else has written first).

Mrs. Pedo is serving as the executive producer for her little “documentary” and will receive 70% of the film's revenue. I imagine, but naturally don’t know, that this is after expenses like production and marketing have been deducted. I would fucking well hope it’s after expenses are deducted. Bezos won’t even notice the $40 mil loss. Hell, that’s not even lunch money for him.

This vanity/suck-up project was directed by Brett Ratner, an Epstein Islander who hasn’t made a Hollywood movie since being accused of sexual harassment by multiple women in 2017. Considering Melania’s husband is a serial rapist, pedophile, and responsible for god only knows how many deaths via COVID, ICE, and whatever other nefarious shit he’s been up to, this choice is no surprise. Ratner was probably her only choice.

Even if you do have some sick interest in seeing the show (hey, maybe you want to hate-watch – I don’t judge), if you wait, you can see it for free on your own teevee. You can avoid the embarrassment of anyone you might know seeing you spend money on such a nasty flick. Hell, I went to the theater to see Flesh Gordon and wasn’t at all ashamed. Melania? No fucking way!

Another issue the Melania movie faces in terms of box office sales is that it’s slated to release on Amazon Prime at some point, where it will likely be offered for free as part of the subscription service. According to Yahoo Finance, nearly 75% of US shoppers have an Amazon Prime subscription, which means that those interested in seeing the movie can wait to see it later on demand. (source)