Little Miss Cranky Pants

Well, I woke up in a my-aren’t-we-just-a-precious-gift-to-humanity mood this morning. I’m dangerously teetering on the precipice of haughty, arrogant, and despotic. (possibly I'm a cuddly, mostly lovable and only occasionally firing squad-worthy tyrant?)

Mae West’s line from I'm No Angel comes to mind – “Oh, Beulah, peel me a grape.” I’m, seriously now, having to stop myself from imperiously directing Cake to fetch me my box of truffles. Yeah, somehow I don’t think my sweet mini panther’s gonna comply.

Cake said "Get your own damn chocolates, bitch.”
Hmmmph.

So what’s up with the grouchtastic mood this morning? Got me hangin’. I slept great and had pleasant, uncomplicated dreams. There’s absolutely no reason other than the usual:

• We live in a time when the Republican Party is run by money and power hungry, soulless, grifting pedophile, racists, who bomb schoolchildren and fishermen as a distraction from their other crimes.
• While my health’s improving/getting less stupid, I’m now back at the bottom of the physical rehab hill AGAIN. Jen and I leave for our little Iceland holiday in two months. I need to be able to walk at least four blocks (with my walker) at a go before then. Me and Sisyphus – we’re fucking besties.

On top of this – the weather’s beginning to change. It was 49 goddamn degrees when I woke up this morning. I’m gonna have to dig out the autumn quilt and flannel sheets. Have I not suffered enough?! 

Fer fuck’s sake, I HAD TO WEAR SOCKS YESTERDAY! THIS is how annoyed I was about that – I wore them with sandals. Yes, I looked like an old person (to be fair, I AM old) but I am NOT that old (yes ... I am) OR ready for fall. Okay, I may have ruined the old person look since these were my cartoon sushi socks worn under my tie dye sweats. Also, I was wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with an octopus playing the drums. So, I have the dress sense of a 4-year-old – fucking sue me, aight?

Am I a fashion plate or what? *ahem* I think it’s safe to assume that Ten loves me for my mind, NOT my sartorial statements or general savoir faire.

I am a misanthrope, but exceedingly benevolent; I am very cranky, and am a super-idealist.
~ Alfred Nobel

You use and lose a lot of energy being grumpy.
~ Ted Danson

I'm fairly certain that, at this very minute, the [Mars Polar Lander] is floating somewhere around Neptune feeling tired and cranky and looking for a Holiday Inn. Of course, you'd have to have a heart of titanium not to feel a twinge of sadness while watching those dejected NASA scientist waiting by the phone like the class wallflower on prom week. On the other hand, it was kind of fun to watch a bunch of men waiting by the phone and seeing how they feel when someone promises they'll call and then YOU NEVER HEAR FROM HIM AGAIN.
~ Celia Rivenbark 

I'm not a dictator. It's just that I have a grumpy face.
~ Augusto Pinochet

Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.
~ Aristotle

Speak when you are angry—and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.
~ Ambrose Bierce

Grumpy was my favorite dwarf.