The Big Day

Vasco Gargalo

Michael de Adder

Detachable Body Parts, etc.

My faithful guard/nurse cat, Cake

I want this. WHY in this advanced engineering day and age, are detachable body part not an option?

Yesterday I had some definitely not insignificant pain in the ol’ twin peaks. Was it those assholian menopause hormones? Do I need to get measured for a new, better fitting bra? Is it because I took a day off from exercising and sat around reading in the same position for too long? Could my thoracic spine monster be starting some shit again? Is this what a stroke feels like? Cancer? Is this normal?

No, I didn’t go to the emergency room. A couple Tylenol, ibuprofen, a gummy, and a nap did the trick. I recently had a mammogram and all was groovy so what the fuck? I’ll contact the doc squad today.

What I would have loved to do, more than anything, is just pop those babies off and put them on a shelf. OR I could’ve dropped them off at the medic mechanic shop and gone about my day. I mean, do I really need to be there while they hoist the old orbs up onto the lift for a diagnosis?

Maybe, if reincarnation is an actual thing, coming back as a human wouldn’t be SO awful. Rather, it wouldn’t be as long as healthcare has evolved sufficiently by then. What I need is a Scalzian threep, AKA personal transport (an android but with my brain and consciousness—see the book Lock In) or a new organic body based on my genetic code (with modifications and improvements of course—see Old Man’s War).

Now this song is playing in my head—King Missle’s Detachable Penis.
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Ten bought me a new flavor of gummy at the weed store. It’s pineapple/habanero. All I can say is, THIS IS WHAT HEAVEN TASTES LIKE!
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Trump on his second term: “You watch. It’s going to be so good. It’s going to be so much fun. It’ll be nasty a little bit at times, and maybe at the beginning, in particular," he said.

FYI, that's not a threat—it's a promise and he's delighting in it.

This was his closing vote-for-me message? I realize it hasn't occurred to the red hats that he’s telling them that they’ll also be subjugated and dehumanized in his second reign of terror and error. It won’t just be immigrants, people of color, LGBTs, women, and the disabled who will die in his camps. It’ll be everyone who doesn’t worship the ground he stumbles on, everyone who fails to agree with every diseased toad he spews from his face anus. If you’re not a fellow billionaire eager to fork over big bucks, you’re expendable. Being a white, Penis American won’t be enough—you’ll need to have Space Karen bucks and the will to spend it all on an orange painted, pants shitting, stupid as fuck, near 80 year old, racist, tantrum toddler.

Vote blue up and down the ballot if you want to live!

Comedians

Janey Godley, the Scottish comedian, has died from ovarian cancer at the age of 63. 

Images of her solitary protest against the US president’s 2017 visit to Turnberry golf course, armed with a “Donald Trump is a cunt” placard, won progressive hearts. (source)

She was younger than me. It always weirds me out when folks with less mileage on 'em croak. I’m still here and these talented, kind people aren’t—is that really fair? Survivor's guilt anyone?

I’m unfamiliar with Godley’s work (apart from her great protest of the most embarrassing and disgusting “human” in the US) but I understand she was a friend of fellow Glaswegian, Billy Connolly. Were they at all similar. I absolutely adored Connolly's stand-up comedy. He reminded me of George Carlin. I'll need to find a clip of Godley performing.

Like Connolly, Godley was sexually abused as a child. Godley by an uncle, Connolly by his father. That they both survived and turned their respective horrors into trenchant, razor-sharp, spot-on wit is buoying—it gives me hope.

Side note: Connolly retired to Key West in 2018. Other famous freshwater conchs? Tennessee Williams, Ernest Hemingway, Judy Blume, Jimmy Buffet, Truman Capote, Robert Frost, John James Audubon, Shel Silverstein, Harry Truman and the poet Wallace Stevens who got into regular bar fights with Hemingway and Frost.

I visited Key West once in the early ‘80s. It was nice but not so much my scene—too touristy. If I was to leave Massachusetts, what island paradise would I go to? If it was easy to accomplish citizenship-wise, I think Iceland would be quite good. Someplace tropical? I’m not keen on hot temperatures, giant insects, and hurricanes. Wait, wait, you say that Iceland has active volcanoes? Meh. Those seem safer (maybe just easier to outrun) than tropical cyclones with 74 mile per hour wind.

 Also, I've not heard about Icelandic poets beating up on each other. Maybe they only engage in fisticuffs over Brennivín (AKA the black death) at home?

Dark Chocolate, Moby Dick, Books and Such

There are two days and 15 hours until Tuesday, election day.

At 109 years old, Tulsa Race Massacre survivor Lessie Benningfield Randle voted for Democratic presidential nominee Vice President Kamala Harris during early voting in Oklahoma on Friday.

Over a century after surviving a city-sanctioned racial domestic terror attack at just 6 years old in Tulsa’s historic Greenwood District, “Mother” Randle chose Harris in what she described as her potentially last election. (source)

What I am most looking forward to about the upcoming Harris/Walz administration, is not having to read about that miserable fuck’s deranged spewings every single day. Sure, he’ll whine, cry, complain and moan for awhile but, I think, even the mainstream media is beginning to recognize that the man is seriously unwell and worse, he’s boring. He doesn’t have any new material. If he wasn't so hateful, dangerous and vile, he'd be pitiful.

I don’t want to see Musk and RFK jr’s fawning fellating every time I open a news app. I don’t need to read any more from the woman hating, micro dicked, quadruple+ named, easily bought VP candidate, J.D. Couchfucker.

They all need to disappear into the Bermuda Triangle. NOW please.

I do not wish to seem inelegant, but this unsightly whale looks much like an amputated sow.
~ Herman Melville, Moby Dick

I just finished Richard Osman’s latest, We Solve Murders. It’s the first of a new series and it’s awesome.

A few outstanding snippets:

Anytime you feel your unhappiness turning into bitterness, you have to check yourself. You can live with unhappiness, but bitterness will kill you.

I never take offense,” says Tony. “Saved me a lot of time over the years.

Have you ever shot anyone before?’ Rosie asks Steve, while snapping through Amy’s cable ties. ‘No,’ says Steve. ‘But the Coldplay T-shirt made it easier.

The only way anyone can afford to buy a house these days is to have bought it fifteen years ago.

If you have any sort of personality, someone will eventually want to kill you.

It’s witty, suspenseful, wise and I couldn’t put it down. I need more books like this to keep from dissolving into a pool of anxiety between now and when Kamala Harris is inaugurated.

Also, I need cannoli. Dark chocolate peanut m&ms would hit the spot too. 

I only mention it BUT the only other contemporary male author who writes women this well, this real, strong and unclichéd is John Scalzi.

FYI, from what I’ve read, Osman’s Thursday Murder Club series is continuing with the fifth book due out this next September. Also, the movie made of book one will also be out in ’25. YEA!

Reality

For as strange as I may be, I don’t have dementia. As far as I know I’m not necessarily prone to get it either. Neither my parents or grandparents had it. I only knew my father’s parents though—my mother’s died when she was a teen. Grandmother Angelina died at the hands of neurofibromatosis type 2—what I have. I have no idea what my grandfather Donato died of.

Dementia is not a disease itself. It's a collection of symptoms that result from damage to the brain caused by different diseases, such as Alzheimer's. These symptoms vary according to the part of the brain that is damaged.

Common early symptoms of dementia
Different types of dementia can affect people differently, and everyone will experience symptoms in their own way.
However, there are some common early symptoms that may appear some time before a diagnosis of dementia. These include:

• memory loss.
• difficulty concentrating.
• finding it hard to carry out familiar daily tasks, such as getting confused over the correct change when shopping.
• struggling to follow a conversation or find the right word.
• being confused about time and place.
• mood changes. (source)

Mind you, dementia isn’t necessarily passed down. We can all come down with it. Also, these early symptoms can be normal responses to being stressed beyond belief. Fer instance, in the run-up to Tuesday’s election, I’m experiencing all of these and more to some degree.

I really don’t need dementia on top of all my NF2 bullshit.

I found this list on Shoutyface—it's particularly kind and on point.

1. If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality.

2. If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.

3. If I get dementia, don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.

4. If I get dementia, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.

5. If I get dementia, and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.

6. If I get dementia, and I am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.

7. If I get dementia, I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am.

8. If I get dementia, I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends.

9. If I get dementia, ask me to tell you a story from my past.

10. If I get dementia, and I become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me.

11. If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated.

12. If I get dementia, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. Even now if I don’t eat I get angry, and if I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.

13. If I get dementia, don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.

14. If I get dementia, don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you, or choose a great new place for me to live.

15. If I get dementia, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.

16. If I get dementia, don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.

17. If I get dementia, make sure I always have my favorite music playing within earshot.

18. If I get dementia, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original place.

19. If I get dementia, don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.

20. If I get dementia, know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.

21. If I get dementia, remember that I am still the person you know and love.

Obviously #17 won’t work for me. I did this for The Amazing Bob in his last days. Jen and I set up a boom box in his hospital room and spun his favorite jazz.

#11—treat me the way that you would want to be treated. This, and so many of the other tips, are just good, basic advice for being a sentient human on the planet.

Bell Ends, Oomopa Loompas, Chefs, etc.

Bell end? I’ve heard the term before but I don’t remember what it is. Pretty sure it’s a British insult of some sort. Let’s look it up, shall we?

What does bell end mean?
A bell end is slang for the head of a penis. It’s used in UK as an insult for a jerk or someone acting stupid or contemptibly. It’s a bit similar to calling someone a dickhead. (source)

Huh, cool. Works for me.

Hit the link for bell end's etymology and more.
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Does everyone know this already?

When the Oompa Loompa buffoon does the accordion hands gesture, he’s lying. I know, he’s ALWAYS lying but when he breaks out the invisible squeeze box, he’s telling a giant, shaggy dog whopper. He should never play poker or attempt to negotiate ANY kind of deal. His tells are flashing neon billboards with farting sound effects.

And now this song’s in my head. Cool.
~~~
red sand between my toes
summer vacation in outer space.
that was a Martian haiku.
~ Robin Williams, from a live stage improv on a record called Reality What a Concept 1978
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Who is Gordon Ramsay and why does he have a porn double?

I googled him and found that Ramsay is celebrity chef who’s opened restaurants, written cookbooks and done a few teevee shows. The shows, from what I’ve read, sound like they’re more about business than food.

…Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares, in which he endeavoured to turn failing restaurants into profitable enterprises, and Hell’s Kitchen, in which he took on the challenge of turning aspiring restaurateurs into quality chefs;
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…Hotel Hell—in which the formula of Hell’s Kitchen was applied to the lodging industry (source)

I also found this:

 It's safe to say that most would assume that Ramsay is primarily a foul-mouthed, overly-harsh chef who's gained his celebrity status off of mere shock value alone. People who can't stand him report that he's "rude and obnoxious" and claim that he insults, abuses, and humiliates his team. He's racked up an impressive list of haters, including some of the world's other most well-known chefs, such as Jacques Pepin and Anthony Bourdain. (source)

So, was Ramsay branching out into the porn industry? I mean, given that his last show was about hotels—the hospitality biz—porn makes sense.

I’m pretty I don’t need to know more about his porn double or the circumstances that lead to him being found dead in a badger den. Okay, I take that back. I find this far more interesting than Mr. Ramsay.
~~~
As of April 2024, according to Worldometer, 7,010,681 people on the planet have died from COVID. This is assuredly a gross undercount too.

Why?

Not all countries had/have adequate testing resources, there were and are differences in how COVID cases and deaths are counted, plus other inefficiencies in data collection and updating. Here in the U.S. data collection was heavily politicized by Prez Oompa Loompa, Jared Kushner and other brain trusts like DeSantis in Florida.

"What is clear from our study is that COVID-19 exploited and compounded existing local racial inequities, health disparities, and partisan politics to create a syndemic—a combination of local factors that interact, increasing the burden of disease from this pandemic and the likelihood of poor outcomes," says co-lead author Thomas J. Bollyky, Director of the Council on Foreign Relations' Global Health Program in the USA. "This combination of racial disparities and politics explains a large part of why the USA particularly struggled in the pandemic." (source)

Do you really want to go back to Donny the Incompetent Fuckface and his crew of sycophantic bell ends being in charge? I don't.

I’ve lived the promise of America

In the same spot—the Ellipse—as the Orange Asshole’s insurrection inciting speech of January '21, 75,000 people came out to hear our next president, Kamala Harris, speak.

“I’ve lived the promise of America,” Harris said, and without an explicit reference to the history-making nature of her candidacy, she grounded it in a fight for “freedom” that has propelled generations of “patriots” from Normandy to Selma, Seneca Falls and Stonewall.

“They did not struggle, sacrifice, and lay down their lives only to see us cede our fundamental freedoms, only to see us submit to the will of another petty tyrant,” she said, her voice building as she declared: “The United States of America is not a vessel for the schemes of wannabe dictators.” (source)

Her opponent is the stochastic terrorist responsible for the horrific, violent January 6th attempted coup d'état, who lied to us 30,573+ times while he occupied the White House, politicized the Justice Department and FBI, abused the pardon power, upheld bipartisan approved aid to Ukraine in an attempt to get them to make up shit about Biden (and please his boss, Putin), who hired completely unqualified sycophants as well as his embarrassingly idiotic, money grubbing children. He stole kids away from parents and locked them in cages. He’s called Mexican immigrants rapists and criminals. There's his astoundingly botched, death inflating COVID response. Jesus, I could go on and on. Trump is dangerous, delusional, hateful, stupid as all hell and deeply disturbed.

Trump recently declared the attack (Jan 6, 2021) a “day of love” and said he would pardon the January 6 rioters – whom he has called “patriots” and “hostages” – if he is elected.
     ~~~
Trump maintains that he played no role in stoking the violence that unfolded, and still claims baselessly that the 2020 election was stolen from him. (source)

This banjaxed brain old man also called his Madison Square Garden Nazi rally a "lovefest." It's obvious to me that the malignantly narcissistic dipshit has a WAY different definition of "love" than Merriam-Webster OR any sane human on the planet.

I noticed that Tony Douchebag, after his grossly racist standup shtick where he slammed Puerto Ricans, Blacks and Jews, has resorted to the Schrödinger’s Joke defense. You know, if the abhorrent insults are well received, he's serious. If he's called out for his stupid, hateful, NOT funny, diarrheal elephant shit? Oh, it was just a joke—lighten up!

Longtime Trump adviser Peter Navarro is calling the comedian, Tony Hinchcliffe, “the biggest, stupidest asshole that ever came down the comedy pike” (source)

They know their pet insult “comic” just shit the bed, the walls, the entire fucking house and the whole country's matresses too. This is who the Republican Party is—imbecilic, white, wealthy, frat boy types who will screw over everyone who’s not in their little club.

Random Thoughts

Puerto Rico and Washington D.C. should be states. Wyoming, with a population of 584,057, is a state with two senators and one House rep. Vermont, with a population of 647,464, has two senators and one House rep. 

Washington D.C. has a population of 689,545 and no senators or House reps. Puerto Rico’s population is 3,205,691— no senators or House reps.

The Constitution only gives states voting representation in Congress, which means D.C. residents (as well as people who live in U.S. territories like Puerto Rico) don’t have full representation in Congress.

D.C. residents pay more in total federal income tax than those in 22 other states — only to get no say in how those tax dollars are spent. (It’s the reason DC license plates say “Taxation Without Representation.”) And Washingtonians have fought and died in every war our country has been in — yet those veterans are denied the very freedoms they risked their lives for. (source)

D.C. and Puerto Rico need proper representation.

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Phil McGraw (AKA Dr. Phil) has a doctorate in clinical psychology but stopped renewing his license to practice psychology in 2006. Like Trump, who only played the role of successful businessman on a gameshow, "Dr." Phil is now no more than a teevee personality. If it wasn’t for Oprah Winfrey, Phil would be still be an unknown therapist in Wichita Falls, Texas. Wichita Falls, by the by, is better and more respectably known as the home of the now shuttered Professional Wrestling Hall of Fame.
~~~
Old and ultra thin-skinned Von Shitzenpantz is now encouraging his cult of violent morons to attack Michele Obama. Are any of them stupid enough to try? Of course they are. 

Interesting that Donnie Doll Hands hasn’t said anything in response to Barack’s “crowd” size reference or anything else that Barack, Bruce Springsteen and John Legend at Monday night’s Harris rally in Philly. Nope, The reality show tough guy, who reportedly smells of soiled diapers, Axe Body Spray and hotdog burps, hasn’t stirred up his mentally unbalanced thugs to go after them—only Michelle.

Just FYI, you pinheaded, ridiculously made up, lying sack of rhino turds, you’re going to LOSE!
~~~
I picked an unfortunate time to, mostly, quit drinking—2016. Thankfully, Massachusetts saw fit to make weed  legal on November 8, 2016.
~~~
Here’s a funny. Remember back when Trump got busted for using money from his Trump Foundation charity to buy a portrait of himself?

In court yesterday, the president’s lawyers argued that it was appropriate for the charity to purchase a portrait of Donald Trump for $10,000 at a benefit auction. Why? Because no one else wanted it.

“Trump donate[d] $10,000 to start the bidding,” explained Alan Futerfas, the foundation’s lawyer, to the court, as reported by Bloomberg.  “When the bidding goes on and no one else bids, they’re stuck with the painting.” (source)

HAH HA! What a colossal buffoon. Also, his lawyer's logic is more twisted than tangled and twisted than a ball of yarn after Cake's done playing.

What a whiny crybaby.