There’s a New Map in Town

Mercator projection

Growing up, going through school, the maps we saw in our Social Studies classes were all Mercator projection maps. The problem with the Mercator map, which was created for ship navigation, is that it makes northern regions appear disproportionately large, while Africa and other places closer to the equator appear smaller than they really are. They may work a treat for sailors but they give the rest of us a pretty skewed view of our planet.

Togo's Foreign Minister Robert Dussey said maps are far more than simple representations of geography.

"Maps shape our understanding of the world. They guide education, nourish the imagination, and influence collective perceptions," (source) 

So, there’s a relatively new map out and it’s absolutely fascinating. It’s the Equal Earth projection map. It’s an equal-area, pseudocylindrical world map that shows continents and oceans at their true sizes relative to each other.

At Al Jazeera there’s a quiz:

Can you guess the real size of each country on the new world map?

Pick which country is bigger, then watch it morph from Mercator to Equal Earth projection to see how close you were.

I played and, surprisingly, got eight out of ten right. Maybe most stunning to me was the Greenland/Algeria question. Which is bigger? I mean – c’mon – on all the maps we’ve been looking at since we were tiny tots, Greenland is HUGE, right? It looks to be about the same size as the entire continent of Africa and Algeria’s just one country on the continent. OF COURSE Greenland’s bigger, right?

Wrong!

Algeria measures 2,381,741 square kilometers in size. Greenland is 2,166,086 square kilometers.

The United Nations feels it’s wise for schoolchildren and people in general, to have a reality based picture of the planet. As much as I’d love to live in a fantasy world of my own invention, I’m down with the U.N. going with actuality.

To address this, the United Nations General Assembly (UNGA) voted 164 to 1 on Friday to adopt a resolution promoting the Equal Earth projection, which shows continents in their true proportions, as an alternative to Mercator.
~~~

Gerardus Mercator, Flemish geographer, cosmographer
 and cartographer. Creator of the 1569 world map.

The United States was the only country to vote against the resolution calling the measure a “radical ideological project”. (source) 

Emmmm, given that our ambassador to the U.N. is Mike Waltz, the completely moronic Trump toady who included a reporter in an insufficiently secured group chat discussing war plans, I’m unsurprised that we were the single no vote. So, the U.S. is the only anti-reality nation. Yeah, that’s a real shocker, huh? 🙄

I only mention it but the U.N.’s resolution is not legally binding and doesn’t mean anyone’s got to give up their precious, inaccurate Mercator projections. The U.N. is just gently encouraging the use of a more accurate map.

Are you a teacher or a map nerd? Go to the Equal Earth website and download the file(s) (it’s FREE and shit!). You can then go to your local print shop and have them print it out. Yes, this will cost bucks but still, it’s cool, huh?

The Equal Earth Wall Map is for schools, organizations, or anyone who needs a map showing countries and continents at their true sizes relative to each other. Africa appears 14 times larger than Greenland as it actually is. And wherever you live, the map has you covered. Download a choice of three versions centered on these regions: Africa/Europe, the Americas, and East Asia/Australia.

Other features include:

•  It’s free. Download the map and print as many copies as you want.
•  It’s big. The map measures 55” wide x 29” tall (1.4 x 0.74 meters). You can print it even larger thanks to the very high resolution.
•  Just enough detail.  The 2,600+ map labels provide geographic context without overwhelming you with too much information.
•  Professional design. With pleasing colors, readable type, and clear visual hierarchies, this is a map that you will want to look at. (source) 

Just FYI – the cost to print a 55” wide x 29” tall (1.4 x 0.74 meters) color map could run in the neighborhood of $60 - $75. Double that price if you want it laminated (which would be a smart plan if this is going up in a classroom).

Memeday

It’s been a hell of a week here in Smooth Brained Plutocrat Hell. Aren’t they all though?

Kakistocracy
     noun
government run by the worst, least qualified, or most unscrupulous people.

What does that makes Trump, JDouche, Kegbreath, Nutlick, Roadkill Kennedy, Markwaynejoebobetc, nd all the rest? Why, it makes them piles of shit – AKA kakistocrats.

In other news dear little boy, Cake, has been diagnosed with diabetes. I did NOT know that cats could get diabetes! So far he’s responding well to the pill his doc prescribed. YEA! For now, we don’t need to worry about insulin. Jesus. My poor little, evil angel. 

I can tell he’s feeling better – he’s no longer peeing on the bed (YEA!) or sleeping on top of me AND he's back to annoying Ten. Cake communicates in a very direct, blunt manner. When he needs one of us to stop what we're doing (patting, brushing, skritching him) he'll give us a wee slap or, if we've failed to pay quick enough attention, a little bite. “STOP THAT WENCH! Didn’t you read my mind that I was done being cosseted?”

In lieu of more words, I give you memes and more of them. Hopefully some of them will make you laugh.

Tom Gauld

And Then There's Cuba

About those mass deportations ...

When people are captured, and imprisoned without due process that’s kidnapping. 

When they’re delivered to another country against their will, that’s human trafficking.

When they’re put in prisons, with no access to lawyers or any other assistance, that’s called a concentration camp, NOT a “detention center.”

Words matter. Call it what it fucking is.

Aristides Fernandez Garcia was deported to the Central African Republic which our very own State Department has under the highest travel advisory, Level 4: "Do Not Travel," citing unrest, violent crime, kidnapping, landmines, health risks and terrorism. As with everyone else picked up by Trump’s ICEholes, it doesn’t look like Aristides Fernandez Garcia has actually committed any crimes. He was in the U.S. seeking asylum. 

Dave Whamond

He said when he asked ICE officers where the plane was headed, he got no clear answer. He said he only learned he was headed to Africa after the journey was underway, during a stop in another African country before reaching his final destination. (source) 

WHY are Cubans being deported 7,000 miles away to concentration camps in Central African Republic. *Wouldn’t it be easier, MUCH cheaper and less of a drain on the nosediving U.S. economy if they just shipped him the 90 miles back to Cuba?

What? Too easy? Also, this insanely sadistic admin won’t get their ruthless rocks off if the cruelty factor isn’t set to 11 ... amirite?

A Miami Herald poll from April of this year found that 68% of Cuban Americans strongly or somewhat disapprove of the administration’s push to deport Cuban nationals without legal status and without criminal records. Still, close to 70% of Cuban American’s in Florida supported Pedo’s reelection bid.

Meanwhile, in his ongoing effort to take control of and rule all the countries on this side of the Atlantic, Trump has:

• Cut off Cuba's main oil supplies from Venezuela and threatened penalties on any nation providing fuel.
• Continued to sanctioning the fuck out of Cuba’s mining, construction, and smaller state-owned businesses.
• Made tourism next to impossible for the average American.

This is Cuban American's Find Out part of FAFO. Hope they're happy with what their vote is doing for their friends and family on the island.

Critics warn that the sanctions, combined with the ongoing energy blockade, have pushed the country’s power grid and healthcare systems to the point of collapse.

Volker Turk, the high commissioner for human rights at the United Nations, stated in June that such restrictions were “directly harming Cubans” and called for their end.

“Children are dying because doctors lack access to essential medical supplies and medicines,” said Turk.“This is unacceptable.” (source) 

Bob Englehart

“unacceptable” yeah, I’d call that a mammoth understatement.

A wee postscript here – it’s not like foreign prisons are paying the U.S. for these humans, these people that Trump’s trafficking. Nope. We’re paying them millions of buckos to take them.

The Trump administration has spent more than $1m per person to deport some migrants to countries they have no connection to, only to see many sent back to their home nations at further taxpayer expense, according to a new congressional investigation.

A 30-page report from Senate foreign relations committee Democrats, released on Thursday and shared with the Guardian, details how the US government paid more than $32m to five foreign governments – including some of the world’s most corrupt regimes – to accept approximately 300 third-country nationals deported from the US.

In the most extreme case, the administration paid Rwanda $7.5m plus an estimated $601,864 in flight costs to accept just seven people – about $1.1m per individual, according to the report’s analysis of government spending data and flight records. The administration similarly paid Equatorial Guinea $7.5m to take 29 people, costing taxpayers an estimated $282,126 per person. Palau was paid $7.5m with no documented flights, Eswatini was paid $5.1m for 15 people, and El Salvador $4.76m for about 250 people. 

Committee staff indicated the state department is pursuing third-country deportation agreements with 70 to 80 countries. *More than 80% of migrants sent to these third countries have already returned to their home nations or are in the process of doing so, the investigation found, raising the question as to why they were not deported directly in the first place. (source) 

In addition to the absolute FACT that this is the most reprehensible, immoral, vile, and ruthlessly barbaric government, it is also PEAK turnip brained, evil stupid. Trump and his gang of ant-brained, assfaced cazzones aren’t bright enough to manage their own outhouses let alone the U.S.

Gloria Steinem

Gloria Steinem has died. She was 92.

Steinem brought a feminist perspective into the mainstream through rigorous journalism, public speaking and activism. The author of nine books, she campaigned against domestic violence, female genital mutilation, the pornography industry and the Vietnam and Gulf wars. She also worked in support of causes including Black Lives Matter, the reunification of Korea, female reproductive rights, LGBTQ rights and the Times Up movement. In 1984, she was arrested while protesting against apartheid outside the South African embassy in Washington DC. 
~~~
She also credited black feminists including Florynce Kennedy, Evelyn Cunningham, Shirley Chisholm and Fannie Lou Hamer for teaching her the importance of activism. “It was like finding a family,” she said of that time. “As wildly different as we may be, and we certainly were, women share hopes and a certain vision of the world, and a certain shit detector.” (source) 

Gloria Steinem was one of my first heroes. When I was 11, 12, 13 and coming into more of an awareness of the bullshit inequality of my gender, not just at home but in this world (to put it ultra mildly), Gloria Steinem was a beacon – someone I could turn to (well, Ms. magazine anyway – when I could get my hands on a copy, that is). She was someone who wasn’t going to tell me that my future was limited to baby making, housewifery, and maybe a gig as a junior high music teacher.

Ahhh, small town Midwest America in the early ‘70s where men and boys ruled. If you were a girl or a woman with a mind of your own, if you didn’t play by the rules or fit into any tidy categories, you were ostracized. That and called a slut whether you slept around or not. 

Boys who fucked anything that moved (or tried to and this included cows and sheep) – were they called sluts, were they shamed? OF COURSE NOT! THEY were lauded. 🙄 😡 💥

Not enough is said about the other woman in this famous double portrait.

Dorothy Pitman Hughes was a community activist in New York City. She organized the first shelter for battered women there (WOW!) and co-founded the New York City Agency for Child Development which broadened childcare services. She established a community center on the West Side which offered day care, job training, advocacy training and more. Pitman was also a co-founder of Ms. magazine.

Steinem and Pitman Hughes met in 1968 when Steinem was writing a story for New York Magazine about Pitman Hughes’ West 80th Community Childcare Center. They became fast friends. From 1969 to 1973, they spoke across the country at college campuses, community centers, union halls and more. At the time, Steinem did not like public speaking, but was encouraged by Pitman Hughes, who “as a former nightclub singer, was perfectly at home on the stage.” They worked well together, demonstrating “the possibility of interracial sisterhood, of being ‘sisters under the skin,’ as they frequently put it.”

“Dorothy’s style was to call out the racism she saw in the white women’s movement. She frequently took to the stage to articulate the way in which white women’s privilege oppressed Black women but also offered her friendship with Gloria as proof this obstacle could be overcome,” said Lovett. (source) 

Dorothy Pitman Hughes died four years ago, in December of ’22, at the age of 84.

Both women died peacefully at their homes, surrounded by loved ones. Causes of death? They were old. Bodies break down. We die.

A few words of wisdom from a departed sage:

A feminist is anyone who recognizes the equality and full humanity of women and men.

America is an enormous frosted cupcake in the middle of millions of starving people.

the most reliable predictor of whether a country is violent within itself—or will use military violence against another country—is not poverty, natural resources, religion, or even degree of democracy; it’s violence against females. It normalizes all other violence.

Men should think twice before making widowhood women's only path to power.

There are black doctors and doctors and women novelists and novelists. Any less powerful group gets the adjective, while the powerful group takes the noun. The less powerful group usually knows the more powerful one much better than vice versa. People of color have to understand white people in order to survive; women have had to know men. Only the powerful group can afford to regard the less powerful one as a mystery.

Women have two choices: Either she's a feminist or a masochist.

I was angry because young men in politics were treated like rising stars and young women were treated like - well - young women. {...}
I was angry about the human talent that was lost just because it was born into a female body, and the mediocrity that was rewarded because it was born into a male one.

Voting isn't the most we can do, but the least. To have a democracy, you have to want one.

Primaries and Bats

Progressive Senator Ed Markey crushed the fuck out of that weasel Seth Moulton in the primary yesterday here in Massachusetts. Thank fuck!

Markey’s old but he’s in favor of and working for a Green New Deal and a universal single-payer healthcare system. Moulton is not. Also too …

… shortly before Tuesday’s primary election (Moulton) apologized for saying that he did not want his daughters “getting run over on a playing field by a male or formerly male athlete” – comments made after Trump beat Harris in the 2024 election in part by vowing to curb transgender rights. (source)

Random Edward Gorey bat

His full statement was “I have two little girls. I don’t want them getting run over on a playing field by a male or formerly male athlete, but as a Democrat I’m supposed to be afraid to say that.”

How absolutely Fetterman-esque of him. If it’s so discomfiting, so embarrassing to be a Democrat in Massachusetts, young(ish) Seth can switch parties – become a Republican. He can do that in January 2027 when his gig as a U.S. House Rep ends. Granted, it's highly unlikely he'd ever hold office in this state again. Maybe he could move to New Hampshire. I hear they still elect the odd Republican there.

By the by, his “apology” was one of those NON-apology apologies. You know, sorry to “anyone hurt by those comments.” What a skeeze.

Moulton spent $7.1 million on ads which, from what I understand, were all about Markey’s age versus Seth's positions and accomplishments (does he have any? I mean, being younger isn't an achievement. Hells bells, I'm younger than Ed!). Online, all Moulton’s supporters could do, beyond harping on age, was yap about some of Markey’s less than progressive positions from MORE THAN 30 YEARS AGO (which he has evolved out of thenkyewveddymuch!).

Jesus, desperate much?

This will undoubtedly be Markey’s last term. I’m hoping there are a bunch of energetic progressives in the wings since Elizabeth Warren’s not getting any younger either. I wanna see Ayanna Pressley as senator. Maybe Mayor Michelle Wu, Lindsay Sabadosa, Erika Uyterhoeven or Danillo Sena?

Another random Gorey bat

One wicked bummer in yesterday's primary – I’m disappointed, to say the very least, that the progressive candidate for my district's rep to the House, Patrick Roath, did NOT win over incumbent Stephen Lynch. Lynch is a supposed moderate but he voted against the Affordable Care Act. What an asshole!

This will be Lynch’s 14th term. He doesn't believe we should all have healthcare – only those who can pay can stay healthy and amongst the living, I guess. Thanks dude. Which other rights does he want to erode? Women’s bodily autonomy? Marriage equality? Does he want to bring back segregation? Does he, perhaps, think that residents of his district don't deserve parasite-free food and water?

Now that the primary is over all I want to do is watch teevee (Stranger Things! Good Girls! G.L.O.W.! Star Trek!), snarf snacks, and read the next Murderbot installment. Of course.

More Gorey bats

Tell Me Why

I’m not a beer drinker — hell, I hardly imbibe in any adult bevs anymore so I'm maybe not the best judge here. Still, Pabst?!!! Really?

Thieves made off with tens of thousands of cans of Pabst beer in two separate heists from a southern California warehouse on the same day, police said.
 ~~~
Roughly 34,000 cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon and non-alcoholic Old Milwaukee beer – more than 1,500 cases – were stolen, according to a police report obtained by the Los Angeles Times. (source) 

There’s a market for this shit? What is it? Who's downing this piss-water?

Supposedly, it’s a hipster brew – big with artists, musicians, fixie bike riders, skateboarders, folks who go to indie music shows, and dive bars.  So, detectives are on the lookout for cargo short and flannel clad skateboarders, possibly also sporting bucket hats and Chucks? If you've got hearing, maybe listen for the sounds of Fontaines D.C, Wet Leg, and Mannequin Pussy. Dunno. Hope that helps.

I only mention it but, in the before times (before deafness), when I spent an awful lot of time in dive bars pogoing to local bands, I drank beer. I did NOT drink Pabst though! Jesus. I've made plenty of poor decisions in my time – this was not one of them.

The company's offering a reward for the swill's return and are asking the public for an assist – a snitch.

“STOLEN—40,000 lbs of beer,” it posted on Instagram. “We don’t fault you for wanting to brag to your friends how much PBR you have, we just wish you obtained it the honorable way." 

Emmmm, good luck?

~~~~~
WHY did it take 30 goddamn years to find Duane Keith Davis guilty of the murder of poet/rapper/actor/activist Tupac Shakur? I mean, his murderer bragged for years about his hand in Tupac’s death. He even wrote about it in a book, fer fuck’s sake. 

So why did it take 30 years? Ultimately, in my opinion, it comes down to racism. Our broken “justice” system doesn’t give a flying fuck about you, me or any of us unless we’re white, wealthy, male, and well connected.
~~~~~
Markwaynejimbobdoofusface Mullin opened his mouth yesterday and, unsurprisingly, demonstrated that he’s solidly in the running for Stupidest Trump Employee of all Time. 

“You have a Biden administration that is failing the American people

Clearly he missed the heads up that Biden’s term ended nearly two years ago. Christ almighty, what a smooth brained moldy radish!

I’d have thought the skyrocketing cost of living, the war in Iran that we’re losing, all the tainted food, and the concentration camps would have been a dead giveaway but … well … Markwayne,etc. took more than a few hits to the head during his little career as a boxing/quasi martial arts guy. That and he went to school in Oklahoma which is ranked 47th in education. Possibly his mother dropped him on his head a few dozen times too. I wouldn’t be surprised. Maybe she wanted to see if he bounced?
~~~~~
At least 12 people were killed and 21 wounded in Russian air attacks on Kyiv last night. 

At least three people, including two children, were killed and eight wounded in an Israeli drone attack in the al-Kateeba district west of Gaza City in northern Gaza this morning. 

And here in the U.S. Prez Pedo and his Heritage Foundation puppet masters continue to openly incinerate democracy. Two bit clownfuck stooges like Bessent, RFK jr., Kegbreath, Markwaynejimbob, and Linda McMahon prop up their decaying, obviously mentally banjaxed fuckwit paper king. The country? The citizenry? Humans? The planet? Fuck all that man – it’s all about their precious offshore bank accounts.

I wish I believed in the afterlife the nuns and priests preached about back when I was a cute kid at St. Sebastians. I’d take solace in knowing that Trump and his klan are most def not headed for the good place.

More Talk About Buildings and Food

Okay, no talk about buildings, just food. You’ll never guess who’s putting the kibosh on any investigation of the whole poop geyser phenom. Oh, who am I kidding? Of course you already know!

The Trump administration is shuttering two of the three US Department of Agriculture research projects studying cyclospora after the foodborne parasite has sickened tens of thousands of Americans during the summer, Politico reported on Sunday. 
~~~
Scientists researching foodborne parasites, including cyclospora, are retiring or leaving the USDA’s ARS rather than relocating (from Maryland to Iow) or being reassigned to other projects, the report said.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has  recorded more than 17,000 confirmed cyclosporiasis cases across 48 states plus Washington DC, from 1 May to 24 August, making it one of the largest foodborne illness outbreaks in recent US history.

At least 11,844 additional cases may require further investigation and analysis, the CDC said. (source) 

Naturally, the thin-skinned, odoriferous, dimbulbed, clownfuck pedophile prez is shutting down important research that could keep U.S. citizens healthy and alive! They'd make him look bad by pointing to his and his wholly incompetent, rapacious, band of billionaire bandit pals who are robbing us all into our graves. Can't have the 80-year-old heavily made-up, bewigged, begirdled, shoe lift wearing malignant narcissist looking bad now, can we? What's that you say? We're about 79 years, 11 months and 30 days too late? Eh, fair point.

Anyway. here’s a partial list of what’s NOT safe to eat right now:

Salmonella
• Fresh jalapeño
• White and brown shells eggs from Country Morning, Cal-Maine Sunups, Brookshire’s, Simple Truth, and Kroger
• Guacamole sold at Whole Foods 
• Lidl Spice Mix
• Walmart Pistachio Nut Butter 
• Lacnola Lactation Granola
• Food to Live Greens Powder
• MOGO-brand Pure Moringa Oleifera capsules
 •Rosabella-brand moringa powder capsules

E. coli
• GreenWise Organic Whole Frozen Blueberries and GreenWise Organic Frozen Mixed Berries 
• Raw Farm: Raw Cheddar Cheese

Both Salmonella and e. coli
• Everything Sprouts, sold under the Calco and Everything Sprouts brands 

Listeria
• Walmart Tomato Bisque
The following soft cheeses:
• Requeson Salvadoreño (Ricotta Style Salvadorean Cheese), Requeson Mexicano (Mexican Cottage Cheese), all Clover Hill Dairy, LLC products

Cyclospora AKA Poop geysering
• Taylor Farms Iceberg lettuce 

Infant botulism
• Nara Organics Whole Milk Organic Powdered Infant Formula

Other Issues:
• Amy's Lentil Soup
     Defective pull tab on the can puts the soup at risk of spoiling earlier than listed.  
• Peter Rabbit Organics Fruit Pouches
     Banana & Strawberry fruit puree pouches recalled for a were recalled for a packaging defect that could leave a strand of plastic inside the product.
• Outshine Fruit Bars 
     Found to contain glass.
• Lundberg Family Farms Jasmine White Rice, 2 lb bags. 
     Recalled due to “possible contamination with foreign material.” Sold at Wegmans, Walmart, Target, and Whole Foods.

And, of course, if you’re a meat eater, it’s probably best to avoid burgers for the time being. What’s being sold to you as cow meat is, perhaps, NOT. We don’t know where all those slaughtered wild horses actually went to AND the Argentinian beef buy is pretty damn hinky.

China's customs agency did stop a 22-ton shipment in March after detecting chloramphenicol, an antibiotic banned in food animals for its link to a rare blood disorder. (source) 

At this point the only thing safe is water out of your tap. Oh wait, maybe not.

Every year, tens of millions of Americans get their water from public systems that violate federal safety standards, and most never find out. The federal government tracks these violations through the EPA's Safe Drinking Water Information System, which logs every time a utility breaks a rule for contaminant limits, treatment, or monitoring.

If you live in one of the states with the worst tap water, what comes out of your faucet may carry lead, PFAS, or other contaminants at levels the EPA considers unsafe. (source) 

These 10 states are the top offenders.

• Texas
• Pennsylvania
• Florida
• California
• Ohio
• New Jersey
• Illinois
• Arizona
• Georgia
• North Carolina

Well, there’s always air, right? We can still breathe, can’t we? Sure, as long as you’re in one of the safe states like Vermont or New Hampshire but Pennsylvania and California might be problematic.

//sigh// I think I’m going back to bed soon with a good book, some snacks and Cake.

Flossie, Snowball, and Lurch – Oh My!

Sunrise from Jen and Oni's Maine vaca

The sun is rising later. It’s not as warm out. I may actually have to dig out an autumn quilt. I’m gonna have to pack away my shorts, figure out where I’ve stashed all my long sleeve shirts, and start wearing socks again, aren’t I?

WTF?!

Guess what! The Orange Moron’s bestie, MusKKK, is responsible for making the death count and destruction in Nepal and Tibet a whole fuckton worse than it otherwise would have been. You’re shocked aren’t you? Yeah, me neither.

“DOGE famously used keyword searches for terms like ‘climate’ to terminate federal grants,” Konyndyk wrote, referring to the DOGE-led blitz to gut funding for USAID, the U.S. Agency for International Development.

“Among the victims: a collab between USAID and NASA for flood prediction, early warning, disaster readiness, glacier inventories, and mapping dangerous glacial lakes… in Nepal.”

Spearheaded by Tesla CEO Elon Musk, DOGE oversaw around $60 billion in cuts to U.S. foreign aid under the Trump administration, leaving “few surviving” USAID projects in its wake. Among the USAID programs Konyndyk said was affected was SERVIR, a program that produced detailed and advanced flood forecasting with “days lead time” that “allows people to plan and prepare for [floods].” The program also specifically monitored the “potentially dangerous glacial lakes of Nepal.”

A notice from NASA supports Konyndyk’s assertion that SERVIR was impacted by DOGE cuts.

“Earlier this month USAID notified SERVIR partners that they have terminated all agreements and contracts with NASA and the SERVIR network,” the notice, published in late March of 2025, reads. “Without the partnership with USAID, NASA cannot continue the SERVIR program.” (source) 

In other KEE-rist-Almighty-Our-Government-Is-Corrupt-Compromised-and-Mindnumbingly-Stupid news, the FBI is now accepting applicants who’ve raped and/or otherwise abused animals. You know, like your basic serial killer or other random psychopaths.

So, you’ve had your way with Flossie or Snowball? Now you’re worried the FBI will think you’re way too skeevy to hire? No sweat! You’ll be amongst friends and fellow freaks at the FBI!

The new standards also specifically address applicants who have engaged in past acts of bestiality or animal cruelty – saying they may still be considered for the bureau as long as the incidents took place before the age of 18, the sources said.  (source) 

I suppose Krazy Kash will next welcome arsonists, drunk drivers, frat boys, and those tiny schwanzed idiots who feel the need to be heavily strapped when they go to McDonald's for their morning mocha. Sure. Why not? What could go wrong?

America...just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable
~ Hunter S. Thompson

The youngest of Pedo’s emotionally fractured and stunted spawn – you know, the one who gets dating advice from the raping, pimping, human trafficking, physical assaulting, child porn producing and distributing Tate brothers – has decided to maybe not be as much of a party boy, social butterfly. Why not? Well, there’s supposedly a $10 million bounty on Lurch’s head. Ho hum. Also, he’s reportedly afraid because of all the attempts on his dear father’s life. HAH! I do fully realize that, with Dimbulb Donnie and the smooth brained Slovenian as parents, the kid can’t be anything approaching bright but, C’MON, even a rotting pumpkin has to have picked up that all those "assassination attempts" were nothing but reality tv – fake blood and drama for the rubes. 

I guess Lurch doesn’t even have a decaying winter squash for a brain, eh? Runs in the family.