Turning 100

Or not.

The comedian Mike Birbiglia has said that he loved his parents, but he didn’t like them. I can sort of relate at least as far as my mother is concerned. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t like her as much as we weren’t a good fit as mother and daughter.

She needed an always obedient, put-everyone-else’s-needs-before-your-own girl, who would grow up to marry, have two kids, a nice suburban home, and go to mass every Sunday. Basically, a Catholic Barbara Billingsley or Donna Reed. Lucy wanted a self-raising assistant mother versus a second daughter. I couldn’t be that for her.

Well, she’d actually wanted me to be a son and never let me forget what a failure I was for being born without the opposing teams equipment.

Today is the hundredth anniversary of her birth and I find myself thinking about all the shit she lived through. She was born in, New Haven, Connecticut to parents who’d immigrated from Gioia del Colle, a small town near the city of Bari in southern Italy. Donato and Angelina moved from NYC up to New Haven where they settled into in what was, at that time, the Italian ghetto.

Little Lucia only learned English after she started school. It was her job, as a small child, to accompany her parents to all official appointments to translate (I never met Donato and Angelina – they both died when Mother was a teen). Imagine being a 6-year-old and having to translate for your parents at immigration and doctor’s offices.

Lucy grew up and went to work for TWA as a secretary. She was also learning how to fly a Piper Cub. Tiny-tot-me was WAY more impressed in that than her fast typing awards. Still am. I’ve always wondered why she didn’t continue with the flying lessons. Was it lack of funds (totally conceivable), loss of interest, maybe something to do with gender – it being the early 50s, mother being a chick and flying not being a girl thing (unless you were Amelia Earhart or Bessie Coleman) or some other reason? I guess I’ll never know now.

Birmingham, Alabama 1963

I know that, for a brief period, she lived in Florida. Why did she move back? The reason she gave was that the bugs were huge and unbearable. Understandable! I believe there was more to it than that though. I recall watching Walter Cronkite’s coverage of the horrifying civil rights demonstrations with my father – this was the early-mid ‘60s. My mother walked by and in a profoundly queenly WE-HAVE-SPOKEN tone pronounced ‘the South is uncivilized.’ Yeah, it wasn’t just the bugs that brought Mother back North

At some point she began taking classes at aNew Haven Teachers College and this is where she met Daddy. He had a job in the cafeteria there.

Alabama state troopers beat SNCC’s 
John Lewis on Bloody Sunday, March 7, 1965

After marriage, she decided to pass on having a career and, instead, made babies. Sure, sure, she did more than that. She never stopped taking classes, learning, growing. She was VERY Catholic but, despite the nice motherly/grandmotherly exterior, she was more spiritually aligned with the Elizabeth McAlisters, Berrigan brothers, and Father Gustavo Gutiérrezs of the church.

I’m thinking that what this all comes down to is this – Lucy was an interesting, warm, caring human. I would have enjoyed getting to know her as a contemporary. I can appreciate who she was and the struggles she endured. I wish I could’ve made her life easier but I was just a kid and was trying to raise myself. This, by the by, is not meant as a slam to my father at all. He was present as much as he could be. He worked two full time jobs to support us on top of regular parental duties.

Mother wounds are tough ones to get past. It's an ongoing process. This year, more than others, I find that I'm feeling placid versus bitter. Mostly, I’m thinking on how much history she witnessed. She had 85 interesting years of life. 

Operation Cyclops

This administration is full of overcompensating, micro dicked, desperately insecure, incompetents with neuroses and full blown mental illnesses so large they’re fully formed creatures who are walking beside them. These clowns are putting more and more satire writers out of business every damn day.

How, I ask you HOW could anyone possibly top Pete Kegstand, the Secretary of Warcrimes' latest self-humiliation? 

The Guardian headline:

Pete Hegseth says soldiers over age 30 to be screened for testosterone deficiency

He wants his “warfighters” to have the ‘right testosterone levels.’ 🙄 

“Warfighters” aged 30 and above will undergo annual tests as part of their health assessments, while those under 30 can choose to opt in, Hegseth said. Treatment, including testosterone replacement therapy, is voluntary and aimed at “restoring and optimizing” natural capabilities. (source)

First off – “warfighters?” Without saying another word, tell me your mental age is 12, you’re playing with toy soldiers, and watch too many John Wayne movies. 

Why does anyone on this planet consider Pew Pew Petey Keggers an adult? Biologically, he’s in his mid forties but his emotional maturity is solidly stuck in adolescence. How much you wanna bet his balls haven’t dropped yet and are still as hairless as a naked mole-rat?

 I’m guessing old Micro Schwanz boy’s best days in the sack, if he ever had any, are 20 years past. I imagine he can’t remember them anyway because he was always 73 sheets to the wind and faceplanting in the rug after his two-thrusts-and-he’s-done stellar performances.

Perpetually pickled Petey has TOTALLY given the game away – he's projecting. Keggers is telling the world that he’s desperately insecure in his own masculinity. He may as well hold up a 36”X48” neon flashing sign that says “I have a two inch weenie (and that’s when it’s hard). My wife asks ‘Is it in yet?’ My dog sees me naked and laughs at me. Hamsters point at my peen and smirk!”

I mean, his deep, pathological insecurity has always been pretty damn obvious. You don’t rape women if you’re confident in your self and your sexual identity.

“As we know, the modern battlefield is brutal and unrelenting,” he added. “It requires and demands maximum psychological and mental readiness, and by addressing these health markers early, we’re keeping you on the leading edge of lethality, and giving you the same level of support that you give this nation – the absolute best.”

He wants to be a serial killer — the military is his surrogate.

This latest escalation of Keggers is just off the fucking charts. Was his bombing  of that elementary school in Iran, murdering 120 girls and their teachers, supposed to be a show of machismo? Did it make up for the mocking press he got for putting a makeup studio in the Pentagon? Or did murdering 221 Venezuelan fishermen do that? Is he only able to get it up when he fires high ranking female and Black officers or removes women and Black people from promotion lists?

The US defense secretary, Pete Hegseth, stripped nine navy officers including women and Black service members from a promotion list last month, according to a person familiar with the matter, resulting in an all-male, overwhelmingly white slate of 22 advancing as nominees to become one-star admirals.

Hegseth’s unusual intervention violated promotion rules designed to be merit-based and apolitical, the New York Times said on Tuesday, and extended the Trump administration’s push to eliminate diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI) in the military. (source) 

Does Mrs. 2-Pump Chump watch the news to see who he’s fired or bombed so she knows whether to shave her legs and bleach her ‘stache on any given day?

Plastered Pete’s “warfighters” will be getting testosterone replacement therapy if they fall short of Keggers' standards. I’m guessing all the soldiers are supposed to look and act like Schwarzenegger, Van Damme, John Wayne, and Bruce Willis.

I only mention it but Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT) is gender-affirming care. Gosh, all this time I thought Republicans were dead set against gender-affirming care. No?!

Hegseth, that gerbil dicked motherfucker, is one seriously twisted, cracked mental case.

Going forward, all American troops will be screened at enlistment for penis size. No one under 10" will be allowed to serve, women included. Girth will also be a factor. We're calling it: Operation Anaconda. 

Updates to the new Uniform Regulation prominent bulge standard to follow.
~ Jim Wright 

To Senescence or Not To Senescence

 Senescence is the biological process of aging – the gradual (hopefully gradual) breakdown of our physical bodies as we age and yield to the the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to.

 Maybe I'd like to give negligible senescence a try. I mean, if it's working for alligators, tortoises, naked mole rats, and some sharks ... well, it should be fine and dandy for me too. Right?

Negligible senescence is slow to trifling amounts of aging.

Galápagos giant tortoises can live well over 100 years. Charles Darwin’s pet Galápagos tortoise, Harriet, died in June 2006 at the Australia Zoo. Her estimated age was 176. Of course this may just be colorful zoo advertising folderol.  

Ocean quahog clams can live at least 200 years. That could be cool but your diet would consist of microscopic algae and you’d always on the run from rock crabs, sea stars, and random, thuggish gangs of cod. NO thank you!

We have our buddies the Greenland sharks, who I’ve mentioned before. Scientists were using a recently developed method of carbon-dating proteins. They found proteins within one shark’s eyes which put the subject anywhere from 272 to 512-years-old. 

You know what? I think even I would get tired of birthday cake after 500 years. I mean, I DO love my buttercream frosting – the more the better, and please don’t stint on the fondant!

The absolute winner in the age Olympics though is the Great Basin bristlecone pine.

Bristlecone pines are a small group of trees that reach an age believed by many scientists to be far greater than that of any other living organism known to man -- up to nearly 5,000 years.

 The oldest of these near prehistoric pines is a tree nicknamed Methuselah (after Methuselah, the longest-lived person in the Bible). Methuselah is located in the Inyo National Forest and sits in a remote area between California's Sierra Nevada range and the Nevada border.
~~~
The storied bristlecone pines grow in isolated groves at and just below the tree line in mountainous regions of California, Nevada and Colorado. These hardy trees thrive on adversity, living in harsh conditions and high elevation (about 10,000 feet) where little else survives.

Fighting the elements for millennia, bristlecone pines have been exposed to extreme cold temperatures, dry soils, high winds, and short growing seasons. Being in a category known to many scientists as extremeophiles the trees grow very slowly. (source) 

Dunno, the first thousand years might be okay. I could see zenning out, going all Alan Watts-like with the wild weather conditions. You know:

If we live, we live; if we die, we die; if we suffer, we suffer; if we are terrified, we are terrified. There is no problem about it.

Running away from fear is fear; fighting pain is pain; trying to be brave is being scared.

We cannot be more sensitive to pleasure without being more sensitive to pain.

I know me though – I’m not the most patient person on the planet (UNDERSTATEMENT ALERT!). My zen-like attitude might not make it past the first snowstorm – not if I’m standing out on the side of some damn mountain without a roof, four walls, fleece wrap, a hot toddy and NO WiFi. Fuck no! Yep, I’d make a lousy bristlecone pine. I can’t see me living for 5,000 years.

You know who I bet’s really into the idea of negligible senescence? Elon Musk, Bezos, Zuckerberg, and the rest of those nutbag billionaires. I wouldn’t be at all surprised to read that they were funding research into how to recreate the Greenland shark’s wickedly resilient organs and enhanced DNA repair mechanisms in humans – themselves specifically.

The world really doesn’t need them to live unnaturally long lives. DUH!

Orcas!

Today is World Orca Day! For realies ... 🐋 (there’s no orca emoji – I have a problem with this and demand to speak with the manager!) 

The first World Orca Day was held on November 8, 2013. It was initiated by marine biologist Dr Ingrid N. Visser  at the World Whale Conference here in Boston.

Here are ten facts about our yacht wrecking buddies that you should absolutely know (most of these have been pulled from Georgia Strait. Visit the site for more incredibly fascinating info)

1. Orcas are the largest member of the dolphin family.
2. Orcas are highly intelligent and able to coordinate hunting tactics. Orcas have the second largest brain of any animal in the world. Their large brains, paired with extreme amounts of folding means things like language, memory and emotional capacity are highly developed, allowing orcas to develop rich culture. Sperm whales have the largest brains. 
3. Different kinds of orcas are called “ecotypes.” They hunt specific prey and live in different parts of the world. There are at least 10 different ecotypes of orcas in the world 
4. Orcas are extremely fast swimmers and have been recorded at speeds of up to 33.5 mph (54 kph).
5. A wild orca pod can cover over 99 miles (160 kilometers) a day, foraging and socializing.
6. Orcas have been roaming oceans for approximately six million years.
7. Southern Resident orca, J-2 aka Granny, was the oldest known orca in the world. She died in October of 2016, at approximately 105 years old. Due to lack of food and the effects of marine pollution, Southern Resident orcas are passing away before reaching their normal life expectancies of 60-80 years for females, and 40-60 years for males.
8. Orca societies are strictly matriarchal, with pods led by the oldest, most experienced females (usually grandmothers).
9. Adult Resident orcas eat an average of approximately 385 pounds of salmon daily to stay healthy. Chinook salmon are the main source of food for Resident orcas, but this key prey species has had consistently low spawning returns for several decades. A lack of food means orcas starve to death.
10.  Orcas are some of the most pollutant contaminated animals on the planet. Human-made industrial chemicals like DDT, PCBs and PBDEs,  don’t break down in nature and bioaccumulate (become highly concentrated through the food chain). These toxins are stored in the fat tissue of orcas. Studies show that orcas experience issues with reproduction, development and immune system function due to these contaminants.

WHY are orcas called “killer whales?”

Ancient mariners (who may or may not have dropped fresh rimes) watched orca pods’ coordinated hunt and take down of much larger sea life, i.e. whales, so they were called “whale killers.” This eventually morphed into “killer whales.” 

Killer whales rely on underwater sound to feed, communicate, and navigate. Killer whales communicate with each other through clicks, whistles, and pulsed calls - the latter which are unique among populations and are learned and culturally transmitted among individuals. These calls maintain group cohesion and serve as family badges. (source) 

They receive sound through their lower jaws. Sound waves from echolocation travel from their jaws to their inner ear and on to their brains, where detailed images of their environment form. This is, like, SO Star Trek! Or, rather, Star Trek is SO based on real life, real science.

While all orca populations are protected under the Marine Mammal Protection Act, two groups receive additional special protections under federal law:

• Southern Resident Distinct Population Segment (DPS) (listed as endangered under the Endangered Species Act and designated as depleted under the MMPA)
• AT1 Transient stock (designated as depleted)

There are only about 73 Southern Resident orcas left, making them one of the most critically endangered marine mammals.

They live in the Pacific Northwest, feed exclusively on fish, with Chinook salmon making up 80% of their diet. I can dig it. On the rare occasion that I indulge in fish meat, salmon’s my choice too.

Problem:

Chinook populations have declined and dozens are already extinct, due to dams on salmon streams, habitat loss and too much fishing pressure. (source) 

This has led to over two-thirds of orcas pregnancies failing between 2008 and 2014 because expecting mothers didn’t get enough food. That and the baby orcas don’t get enough to eat so their chances of survival are dim. All because stupid humans put in dams, overfished and shit.

Have I mentioned lately that humans suck?

Not Dead Yet?

Methinks the reports of Mitch McConnell’s life are greatly exaggerated. Sure, People Mag and even The Guardian ran a pic of him sitting up in his rehab hospital bed, with wife Elaine by his side (after her month away in China while he supposedly struggled to recover) but between Photoshop and AI, different “realities” can be created. Not all AI images are easily sussed out, with six fingered, three armed humans.

While I normally respect The Guardian’s news coverage, the unquestioning, straight-faced posting of that pic of a happy, healthy looking Mitch, along with the accompanying brief post caused me to question my subscription.

On July first, NBC reported that paramedics had responded to a ‘cardiac arrest’ at McConnell’s home on the day of his hospitalization. On July second, CBS reported about the EMTs showing up to Mitch’s home.

"CPR in progress," a D.C. Fire and EMS paramedic said over the radio before 9 a.m. on June 14, just six minutes after the initial call came from McConnell's home near the U.S. Capitol about an "unconscious" person. (source) 

I only mention it but I’m fully capable of adding 2+2 and coming up with the fact that the “unconscious" person they were performing CPR on was Mitch.

Robert Vanwey, a former law enforcement senior technical analyst, investigator, former firefighter and medical responder for over a decade, has an informative breakdown up of why he doesn’t think Senator Turtle’s with the living anymore. Definitely worth a read. Here’s a wee snippet:

… responders remained on-scene for nearly 30 minutes before transporting the patient. In nearly all cases, an incident response that lasts that long means one of two things: 1) CPR is being performed and is having an effect, but the responders keep losing the pulse, so it is better to continue field treatment to try and stabilize before transporting; or 2) the patient has been declared dead and responders are awaiting either a police analysis (to confirm no signs of wrongdoing) or orders indicating whether they should remove the body or standby for the medical examiner to arrive.

The original call was for an unconscious person; CPR was subsequently performed; responders did not remove the patient from the scene until a half-hour later; and they were not performing CPR or doing anything, really, for the patient as they loaded him into the bus (at least from what we can see in the video).

They weren’t scurrying around or doing anything for the patient because there was nothing further to do (other than remove a corpse).

Conclusion: McConnell is dead.

Image on left is a closeup from yesterday’s published pic of 
a supposedly up-and-at-’em Mitch in the rehab facility. 
At right is him in May of this year. 
Along with cardiac care did old Mitch have a facelift? 
Is Botox part of the treatment for cardiac event now? 
Also, his hair seems less ghostly white in yesterday’s pic.
Hmmmmm!

Go read the full column.

Why did Republicans wait a month to announce he’s in rehab? Did it take them a full month to come up with that story?

IF Mitch is recovering so blindingly well, as this supposedly NOT AI 🙄 pic shows, why was this  *cough* totally nonfictional *cough* statement released by his office, and not from him directly? He couldn’t give a brief statement, live and in front of a news camera? I mean, he’s supposedly having 20 minute phone convos with everyone and their pizza delivery boy so why not an in person teevee reporter? 

(20 minutes with everyone except Scott Jennings who apparently failed Lying 101. First lesson: NEVER claim you’ve had a 17 minute casual talk with someone. That’s just an odd and ultra specific number – it reeks of mendacity. It gets worse. Scott’s so dim, he went on to claim that he and the old box turtle discussed Teddy Roosevelt and the history of the modern presidency. Sure dude, did ya then debate who was the best Roman emperor – Augustus or Marcus Aurelius? And then you arm wrestled over who was the better pitcher – Whitey Ford or Ron Guidry. Right?)

Why was this statement about Mitch given yesterday and only after Graham croaked? IF Mitch really is with the living, which I sincerely doubt, why didn’t his office show proof of life earlier? Did it really take them a whole month to put together this AI slop?

This all seems seriously sus and I’m not buying it. Not. At. All.

If You Don’t Have Anything Nice To Say…

Come sit next to me. (I just LOVE Dorothy Parker)

Goddamn I woke up in such a good mood today!

So, Lindsey Graham, that soulless, sycophantic, Trump footstool has died. He was only 71 too. That’s only a few years older than me but, boy howdy, dude looked a solid ten, fifteen years older, MINIMUM. I mean, we’re talking seriously bloated, baggy, tired, and dragged the fuck out. Fer fuck’s sake, after 9 million brain surgeries and the resulting facial paralysis, I don’t even look that played out.

Graham looked like he’d spent all his adult years sitting on a bar stool with a plate of overcooked steak, greasy French fries, and 12 too many Mint Juleps and Old Fashioneds in front of him while he chatted up the devil himself. He was telling Lucy every damned thing he imagined the old serpent wanted to hear. Oh wait … apart from those few years he spent hanging with John McCain, I believe that’s exactly how dead old Linds spent his life.

Who, I ask you, WHO, didn’t see this coming (besides every-fucking-one)?

I wonder how much the old boy banked when he sold his soul? Can he spend that money now?

Of course there’s conspiracy theories brewing. Did Russia have something to do with this? Russia is, after all, infamous for its enemies falling out of windows or having other odd accidents, getting poisoned or shot, and "mysteriously" dying in prison. It’s not wholly implausible. Graham was working on a bipartisan bill which was designed to impose heavy sanctions on Russia. 

In a recent press conference, after meeting with President Zelenskyy, in Ukraine:

“We’ve reached an agreement with the White House on a version of the Russian sanctions bill that they will support. It means it’s going to become law,” he said at the press conference.

“So, when I get back to Washington, I’m going to go with Senator Blumenthal to the Republican and Democratic leaders to see if we can find time to move this Russian sanctions package that would give tools to President Trump to help end this war.” (source) 

Iran wasn’t a big fan of his either.

Who knows?

And another thing … Schrödinger’s Mitch McConnell has either outlived Graham or he hasn’t. We can't know until we observe him (which we can’t because the GOP is hiding his body away whilst taking turns lying to the press about their 20 minute convos with him). 

Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear on Wednesday asked the office of Sen. Mitch McConnell’s, R-Ky., to provide an update on the senator’s health, escalating public pressure for more information as the 84-year-old remains hospitalized more than three weeks after being admitted. (source) 

Good luck with that, Andy. I'm sure asking nicely will totally compel Republicans to comply! 🙄

It’s pretty clear the perpetually duplicitous Republicans are playing a shell game with Mitch’s corpse. Even the far-right influencer Laura Loomer and an independent journo, Desiree Townsend, are saying that their sources are telling them that the old turtle is brain dead. He ain't comin' outta that shell anymore.

In the Dead Olympics, Linds stole Mitch’s spotlight. What a queen. 

I only mention it but these big deaths usually come in threes, right? The universe could do us all SUCH a solid right now!

Frankly, I’d be okay if our buddies, the Fates – Lachesis, Atropos, and Clotho, took out some of the other demons. There are a ton to choose from and they all gotta go – amirite?

Finally, Biden outliving both these motherfuckers is icing on my motherfucking cake! I feel a wee celebration is called for. Break out the cuppycakes!

Who'll Stop the Rain

The death toll in Lebanon as of this morning is 4,321. There have been 12,207 injuries due to Israeli attacks. 

Meanwhile, they’re def not letting up on the Palestinians. Bast forbid!

Since the October “ceasefire”, at least 1,098 Palestinians have been killed and 3,535 wounded by Israeli attacks. 

Israel’s ongoing genocidal war on Gaza has killed at least 73,221 people and wounded 173,643 since October 2023. (source) 
~~~
Here inside the US, Lorenzo Salgado Araujo’s murder by ICE is the tenth killing by federal immigration officials nationwide since the second Pedo administration began. 

In the 500 days between President Donald Trump’s inauguration on January 20, 2025 and June 4, 2026, 52 people died in Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) custody in the United States. The mortality rate of deaths in ICE custody is at its highest level in over a decade and has more than doubled since Trump’s second term began. (source) 

As of Monday, July 6th, 21 people, that we know of, have been passively (and not so passively) murdered while in ICE custody this year. 

Outside the US, in the year and five months since Prez Laughingstock was sworn in he’s, so far, responsible for around 4,000 deaths — probably more. There’s Venezuela, his War Crimes Secretary’s boat strikes, and Pedo's obscene, vain, and devastatingly stupid cock-up in Iran.

I only mention it but more than 1.2 million people in the US have died of COVID-19. How many of them would have survived if Pedo hadn’t completely, thoroughly botched how the whole business was handled? From masking and distancing to vaccines, he weaponized his imbecilic cult. In this second and final term, is our banjaxed brained prez trying to beat his old death record? Does he want all of us to die before he does? If we're all dead, who will bring him his two Big Mac, two Filet-O-Fish, Quarter Pounder, and fries lunches and his 12 daily Diet Cokes?

I’m reminded of the ‘60s Vietnam anti-war chant: Hey, hey LBJ, how many kids did you kill today?

Can someone clever revamp that for Trump?
~~~
According to Statista the number of civilian deaths in Ukraine since Putin’s 2022 invasion is 16,126 with 46,590 injured. This is as of May 31, 2026.

From a July 2nd column in the Kyiv Post:

Russia’s invasion of Ukraine has caused more than two million military casualties, with Moscow’s forces bearing the brunt of the losses, according to a study published Wednesday by a US think tank.

“Combined Russian and Ukrainian casualties have exceeded 2 million,” the Center for Strategic and International Studies (CSIS) said.

It estimated that between 400,000 and 450,000 Russians have been killed since Moscow invaded Ukraine in February 2022, out of a total of 1.4 million casualties -- killed, wounded and missing -- among Russian troops.

Ukrainian forces have meanwhile suffered between 525,000 and 625,000 casualties and between 125,000 and 150,000 fatalities during the same period, CSIS said.

“Russian fatalities in Ukraine are more than four times greater than all US fatalities in all wars combined since World War II,” while the ratio of Russian to Ukrainian casualties has likely risen to around 8 to 1 in the first half of this year, it added. (source) 

His little war of aggression, his attempt to be this big-ass, historic, almighty, imperial, conquering warlord; to recreate the Russian empire, is failing miserably. Just as everyone’s now laughing at Putin’s little incontinent and senile lap dog, Trump, they’re now starting to smirk about Vlad.

Russia is the largest country on the planet by area — approximately 6,601,665 square miles but it comes in 9th in terms of population. If Putin wants more subjects to rule over he should maybe try making his kingdom a more appealing place to live. He could learn a few dozen things or so from Norway, Denmark, Iceland, and Finland to name just a few successful happy countries.

So could Trump but, as we all know, he and his entire spineless, greedheaded Republican Party are incapable of intellectual enlightenment. All these dictatorial, kakistocratic, kleptocratic, plutocrats understand is money and power. They don’t care how many people have to die for them to get more.

Long as I remember the rain been comin' down
Clouds of mystery pourin' confusion on the ground
Good men through the ages tryin' to find the sun
And I wonder, still I wonder, who'll stop the rain?
~ Creedence Clearwater Revival, Who'll Stop the Rain

Jack Ohman

Healthwise

It’s been a rough week but, healthwise, things appear to be looking up. My foot seems to be responding well to the doc’s treatment and the meds. I’m even thinking that I might try to begin exercising again today. This would certainly lift my mood.

Just FYI, as if Brainworm Bobby, the most obscenely disastrous Health Secretary of all time, weren’t enough of a one man plague tsunami, he now has a diarrhea parasite on his plate. No worries (for him) though – he’ll just ignore it or tell us all to drink raw milk and swim in sewage. That’ll cure everything!

From the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) site (which, given this incompetent, greedtastic badministration, I’m amazed is still up. Bast only knows when it was last updated though): 

Cyclosporiasis is an intestinal infection that spreads when people ingest food or water contaminated with stool.
   ~~~
Cyclospora infects the small intestine and typically causes watery diarrhea with frequent, sometimes explosive, bowel movements. Other common symptoms include

• Loss of appetite
• Weight loss
• Abdominal cramping/bloating
• Increased flatus
• Nausea
• Prolonged fatigue

You don't catch Cyclospora from someone who’s suffering from this. It’s not contagious. Outbreaks almost always come from contaminated food or water.

How does food become contaminated? Usually when fresh produce is exposed to water contaminated with human feces somewhere during growing, harvesting or processing. Because many fruits and vegetables are eaten raw, the parasite can make its way onto your plate without ever being cooked. Historically, outbreaks have been linked to imported produce such as basil, cilantro, raspberries and leafy greens but no food source has yet been identified in the current outbreak
   ~~~
Can washing fruits and vegetables prevent infection? Sometimes but not always because cyclospora adheres tightly to produce, and routine rinsing may not completely remove it. That's why outbreaks continue to occur despite people washing their salads. Once contamination occurs before produce reaches your kitchen, there's only so much consumers can do. Preventing contamination earlier in the food production chain is critical.

Should you stop eating fresh fruits and vegetables? There's no need to do that. The overwhelming majority of produce is perfectly safe. Until investigators identify the source, avoiding all fresh produce would likely do more harm than good by reducing consumption of foods that are important for overall health. At this point there is no recommendation to avoid any specific fruit or vegetable.
~ Boghuma K. Titanji MD, MSc, DTM&H, PhD, Emory University School of Medicine

In Michigan the number of reported cases is growing by 20% to 30% per day. That’s only what’s been reported. Think about it – if you have diarrhea for a day or two, do you go to the doctor? No. If it lasts longer and is pretty damned intense? Maybe but I guess it depends on how comfortable you feel with being at a distance from your porcelain throne. The second bit – on the accuracy of case numbers – the CDC, under Brainworm Boy, has made reporting cases optional. Don’t wanna submit data? FINE. No prob, Bobby doesn’t care – he doesn’t think data is important. Surveillance has been optional for one year. 

I only mention it BUT, if cyclospora is usually found in fresh produce like lettuce, berries, snow peas, basil and the like, perhaps I should alter my diet a little bit. 

Cyclospora is not found in, fer instance, carrot cake, Oreos, hot toddies, pizza or saag paneer – cooked food. I’m NOT sure if they can be found in M&Ms. I could eat some to … experiment. Ya know, I’d be doing it FOR SCIENCE!

Wait, what do you mean, "these foods don’t represent any actual change in your eating habits, Donna." Are you implying that I’m at no risk of contracting an explosive diarrhea parasite? Ummmm, could be, could be.

Hey, it just now occurred to me. You know how Trump likes to plaster his name on everything? What would be more appropriate than renaming the Cyclospora cayetanensis parasite, the Donald J. Trump parasite? Can we paint them gold? He'd fucking love that, right? Eh, eh?

Makes a shitload of sense doesn’t it?