What?

 Lots of unknowns here in Rehab City. I WANT to go home on Tuesday (when I get kicked out Spaulding because my insurance won’t pay the high ticket price) but that depends on whether my leg cooperates or not.

If I overdo (which is my tendency) my leg will resist my wishes and it’s Hello Fresh Rehab for yurs truly.

SO, basically, this is all up to me. Can I resist my nasty habits or what? I have grand mas motivation (Ten and Coco) so odds look good.

Today

Night

Yesterday's Physical Therapy was fucking brutal. No surprise that the therapist staff refer to themselves as Physical Terrorists and Other (Occupational) Terrorists (if I’m remembering that right). However true it may be, the phrase no pain, no gain just pisses me right, the fuck, off. For all the pain I’m in , on a daily fucking  level, I should feel like Wonder Woman now AND have her physical attributes and her talents too. Don’cha think?

Ten is busy at home installing grab bars and otherwise readying then joint for my return. No, I can’t walk yet but PERHAPS this time next week I’ll at least be able to hobble. Hopes are high.


Day

Pics ans Such

Still in pain and weak from Friday’s pool experience. Will I EVAH recover? 

Here, have some pics from home where, recovered or not, I’ll be in one weeks time. Yes, with visiting nurses and PTs coming by on the regular.

HELL yes, I'm scared! 

I'm Going Home

On the day I went away
Was all I had to say
I want to come again and stay
Smile and that will mean I may
'Cause I've seen blue skies through the tears in my eyes
And I realize
I'm going home

OOF!

 

Image courtesy of the awesome Ten
Did water therapy (in Spaulding’s pool NOT Valhalla) and Jesus Aqua Man Christ every muscle in my left leg is screaming what the fuck were you thinking? We are NOT moving an inch today you twatini!

Progress

It seems to be Friday. Yesterday was a good day. I got my skull covered boot (no pics YET), came to an understanding with my Occupational Therapist (who seemed to think I wasn’t trying to recover versus recovery-is-my-thing-but-I’m-starting-from-less-than-zero) and gained a tiny bit of movement in my foot and more in my thigh. Yeah, I overdid it and am all fatigued today BUT I’m starting to see home on the horizon.

YIPPEE!!!

Here, have some pics while I attempt tp breathe deep.

Also, window washer (I'm on the seventh floor) is a job I'd NEVAH do!

Issues

1) One of the nurse aids was wearing perfume yesterday. It was light and smelled pretty. All the same it triggered an asthma attack. I got over it but was down for the count yesterday.

2) It is nearly impossible to go to the can in front of male nurses, particularly handsome ones. Lemme just make that clear: It is nearly impossible to go to the can in front of male nurses.

3) There will be good days and less than stellar ones. While yesterday wasn't grand, I DID get to ride a recumbent elliptical and that's always cool. I also took a shower which is still scary (what with only one functioning leg). So, the day had good points and less than lovely ones.

Have I mentioned? It is nearly impossible to go to the can in front of male nurses, particularly handsome ones.

How the Hell Did I Get Here

When I was 30 did I see myself here at 62? Fuck no! Not sure I imagined even being alive at this point. As much as I’m a planner, it’s more of a short term deal, like ‘what’s for dinner’ and ‘where should we holiday next.’

This is why it never occurred to me to buy a single level home. Howeva, Ten is now putting in one of those fancy, schmancy chair lifts which, thankfully, will get me up to the second floor bedroom and bathroom. Yea! No need to build an expensive addition on the first floor. Also, did you know? These lifts fold up! When I'm able to neatly walk and climb stairs again, the lift won't be in the way. Very cool, no?

I’m def making progress but this recovery is my slowest yet. Yesterday I walked (with the assist of basket brace) farther than ever AND accomplished more in occupational therapy than before. Yea me BUT today I'm sore and my leg muscles are all fatigued. Will I be able to do much of anything today? Dunno.

My new skull head calf/ankle brace will be in on Thursday (not yesterday as I’d hoped). That should help a lot and Friday I'll have aqua theray — YEA!

Ya know what? I just wanna go home already — the cats miss me.

Wonder Bread

My nurse last night was a real winner — chirpily, obscenely upbeat. She starts off with Hi, how are you today and Happy Easter. Now then, Boston’s a big, big city. My skin is white but it’s presumptuously clueless to assume that I’m christian. I could’ve/should’ve replied I don’t observe this holiday but appreciate the sentiment, thank you. Ya know, something diplomatic but illuminatingly to the point.

What’d I do? I said nothing. That a nurse…a NURSE in Boston, fer fuck’s sake…would make such a flat out oblivious statement struck me as ridiculously self involved and/or out of touch with the the world around her. It wouldn't have bugged me so much, I imagine, had she seemed in any way interested in me as her patient versus audience.

My lack of response didn’t stop Chatty Cathy from barreling on with her word tsunami, of which only a fraction had to do with why she was in my room (to give me my night meds). Before leaving she asked how my day had been. I replied that it had been fine. I was not about to bare my soul to someone who, in such a short span of time, had proved to be so very self involved.

Her reply? Boring then.
To which I responded — No, I said it was fine and it was.

This morning’s unintentional (but life is ALL about HER) insult was that the iPad  (set up near my bed so that nurses can easily communicate with me via voice to text Notes docs) was that she finds the voice to text business annoying because of the typos. Gee, you incredible twat, how the fuck do you think I feel being deaf and all? I’m thrilled that Spaulding (and MGH) set these up and instructed their crews on how to use these babies. Also, if typos are terribly egregious and/or change the meaning of what’s said, you can switch to keyboard mode and correct your text. Not rocket science, ya know?

So, I asked my day nurse if I could have a different night nurse. I dunno if I’ll need to give specifics but, if I do, I’ll have no prob relaying this woman's spectacular I-just-got-off-the-Wonder-Bread-bus-outta-tiny-town-Kansas personality. I mean, honestly now, has this chick ever met anyone different from herself before?