Manatees and Morons

That fucker’s going after manatees now. Not that he’s specifically aware of it. Manatees are just one of so, so many who’ve had the misfortune to be in Pedo’s path to making more big buckos in his biz of land raping AKA real estate development. 

Florida’s manatees could be among the species left more vulnerable by the Trump administration’s rollback of Endangered Species Act protections, conservationists warn, as the Center for Biological Diversity moves to challenge the changes in federal court.

The Center has filed a motion challenging the administration’s decision to scrap the Endangered Species Act’s (ESA) “blanket rule,” which automatically protected plants and animals listed as threatened, unless officials developed a rule specific to that species. (source) 

Some cool manatee facts:

• Adult manatees generally weigh in between 800 and 1,200 pounds. That heft doesn’t come from blubber – they don’t have any. Their large size is mostly due to their gastrointestinal tract – their stomach and intestines.

• Manatees are aquatic mammals whose closest relative is the elephant. They, theoretically, evolved from the same land animals over 50 million years ago. 

• They breathe air, surfacing every three to five minutes to take a breath. They can, however, hold their breath for up to 20 minutes.

• From a distance they were taken for mermaids. That dumb fuck Columbus was sorely disappointed:

Christopher Columbus, in his first journey to the Americas, caught a glimpse of three "mermaids" off the prow of his ship, writing in his journal:

"On the previous day [8 Jan 1493], when the Admiral went to the Rio del Oro [Haiti], he said he quite distinctly saw three mermaids, which rose well out of the sea; but they are not so beautiful as they are said to be, for their faces had some masculine traits." (Voyages of Columbus 218).” (source) 

• Unlike humans, manatees never need dentures. Their teeth continuously replace themselves throughout their lives. The older teeth at the front fall out and new teeth, growing in at the back, come forward. I’m envious. 

• Manatees have no natural predators besides humans. Most deaths are due to boat collisions. Coastal real estate development threatens their habitat, their home.

For now, it is still illegal to hunt, kill or “intentionally or negligently, to annoy, molest, harass, or disturb any manatee" in Florida. For now.

Good news this morning:

WHY do all these warped, banjaxed brained MAGAt 
weasels have the same rabid, feral, lipless, rage look?

The Massachusetts’s Board of Registration in Medicine has revoked a doctor’s right to renew her medical license last week. Why? In addition to being one of the stupid-ass Jan. 6, 2021 rioting insurrectionists, she broke into the Capital and punched a cop.

Jacquelyn Starer, of Ashland, pleaded guilty to eight charges, including a felony assault charge, in 2024. She was sentenced to 9 months in prison for her actions, but was pardoned by President Donald Trump shortly after he began his second term last year. 

Starer is a board certified obstetrician and gynecologist who has a subspeciality in addiction medicine. She was primarily a practitioner of addiction medicine before her arrest in 2022. (source) 

Her practice was at Brigham and Women’s Hospital. How embarrassing for them. Do they not  monitor or manage their doctors? How could such a loose cannon be employed there? And why did Jackie transition from being an OB/GYN to dealing with addiction medicine? According to the article, she’s a former addict who had attempted suicide in 1996.

I only mention it but doctors hold our lives in their hands. This unstable, judgement impaired, off-her-fucking-rocker, violent twat shouldn’t be treating Raggedy Anns, Barbies, Bratz or G.I. Joes let alone humans. And now she won’t. This is good.

In a 2024 letter to the judge who oversaw Starer’s case, her husband said that Starer hoped to continue practicing medicine. 

“She would very much like to regain her privileges to practice medicine and continue to care for those struggling with addiction, but this is unlikely if the outcome of these proceedings is not in her favor,” he wrote. “At the very least, she would like to restore her reputation in the medical profession and in the community.”

Oh honey, that ship has sailed. She really should have considered that before she went to DC and committed that felony, eh? Also, these two live in Massachusetts and they’re Trump supporters? Does he honestly believe that he and his felonious J6er wife ever had any sort of a respectable rep, outside their small circle of dipshit Trumpy friends, to begin with? C'mon, just move to Alabama already.

One thing, according to news articles, she got her med license in 1983. That would make her somewhere around 70-years-old, more or less. She’s past retirement age. If she’s deadset on working though, she can probably get a gig with RFK jr. After all, he’s big on hiring folks who practice medicine without a license.

Elton John – Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters 

Fried Day

I’m feeling rather Roseanne Roseannadanna-ish this morning. You know, “if it's not one thing, it's another.” 

Barely slept last night. Note to self: do not read the news right before you intend to shut off the lights and greet the sandman. Also, when you wake, a mere hour and change after finally falling into sweet Morpheus’s arms, do not indulge your treacherous amygdala, hippocampus, and anterior cingulate cortex (ACC). Ignore those motherfuckers. At 2AM they will serve absolute NO productive purpose.

What the fuck is the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC), you ask? It’s an area of the brain that deals with emotional awareness, expression, decision-making, pain management, error detection/conflict monitoring and more. Useful motherfucker, eh? Not so much at 2AM though. IGNORE IT AND GO BACK TO SLEEP!

Stray realization — we are now closer in time to 2069 than we are to 1969. 

1969 was 57 years ago. Mein Gott! 2069 is only 42 years in the future. Well, not my future — I’d be quite the ancient piece of dusty work if I lived that long. 

I do remember 1969 quite clearly. We lived in Bloomington, Indiana (where Daddy was working on his doctorate) and I hated it there. People talked funny and they were all blonde. Just so, so very blonde. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!! I remember the antiwar demonstrations on campus, trying a pot brownie, getting high for the first time (the following year) at 12-years-old, reading Rolling Stone when it was still printed in a tabloid newspaper format. My three favorite albums were the Woodstock soundtrack, Jesus Christ Superstar, and Led Zeppelin I.

I wonder if the U.S. will be around in 2069. Frankly, if it is, it’d be shocking. The billionaire puppet master assholes have just about wrecked this joint. We’re teetering on the brink of dissolution. November’s elections are key. Of fucking course they are. We can’t just put in more of the same middle of the road players who will only write strongly worded statements about King Fuckface and his crew’s blatant crimes against humanity.

We need bold, plain speaking, agile beaned, cunning pugilists, like Jasmine Crockett, Elizabeth Warren, Ayanna Pressley, Mark Kelly, Jon Ossoff, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Pramila Jayapal, Jamie Raskin, etc. We NEED to take the House AND the Senate in November. We need smart, crafty, dirty fighters.

And I need a day off from the news and my health bullshit. Maybe a snack and a nap will help?

I Really Wanna Know

Where’s the dough, Fuckface?

It’ll surprise absolutely no one that this is, hands down, the most corrupt and greed headed administration known to mankind. Yes, that’s taking Ferdinand Marcos (who looted the Philippines to the tune of $5 - $10 billion in the 1960s-80s), Alberto Fujimori (who, during his decade in power, raked in $600 million) and Warren G. Harding into consideration.

There’s brief post up over at The New Republic asking what Trump did with the billions he collected in Venezuelan oil.

Billions in revenue from Venezuelan oil has gone missing—and the Trump administration keeps changing its story.
~~~
The Trump administration has raked in about $13 billion after taking over Venezuela’s oil exports in the wake of its kidnapping of President Nicolás Maduro, according to a Financial Times analysis. But six months later, and one month after two devastating earthquakes, that money is nowhere to be found.

When Trump first seized the “millions of barrels” of oil back in January, he assumed complete control. His administration eventually proclaimed that it would use any profit from the sales for “the benefit of the American people and the Venezuelan people.” The State Department has since claimed that “billions of dollars have been disbursed to the Venezuelan economy” and that “financial monitoring is under way to ensure funds benefit the Venezuelan people.”

But none of that has been proven to be true. The Financial Times reported Wednesday that there has been no evidence of oil money going back into the hands of the Venezuelans Trump claimed to care for, and that Venezuela’s first-quarter gross domestic product was the lowest it’s been in five years. (source) 

Then there’s the drunk, blithering idiot with a gallon of cheap hair product on his head. Yeah, I’m talking about pizzle-free Pete, the War Crimes Secretary who’s always in search of his next 37.5 billion from congress, another rape victim, and more opportunities to mainline uncut, pure testosterone (preferably from the ‘nads of a 17-year-old boy).

Why does Kegstand need more war fighting buckos when, two weeks into this debacle, he clearly stated that Iran's military had been ‘destroyed?’ Was that a lie? Gee whiz, would someone from this criminal packed admin lie to the American people?

In less than a fuckin’ heartbeat.

Apparently the greedy little bastards already have the money and, like a cat in front of a half-full food bowl, they're asking for more:

Democratic senators repeatedly returned to what they said was $75 billion in unspent funds allocated to the Pentagon under the GOP’s reconciliation bill passed last year. 

“Well, you’ve told this committee that you’ve barely spent half of the $150 billion in reconciliation funding, and if you still have $75 billion available, why are you asking the American people to absorb the cost of a war they don’t support instead of asking for transfer authority for unspent reconciliation funding,” Sen. Jeanne Shaheen (D-N.H.) asked Hegseth. (source) 

Pizzleless Pete’s response? It seems King Fuckface wants to use that money for his pie in the sky “Golden Dome” missile defense system.

The “Golden Dome” missile defense system is a still mostly theoretical initiative announced by President Donald Trump in January 2025. Framed as a visionary plan to shield the entire United States from all missile attacks, Golden Dome has been compared rhetorically to the Reagan-era Strategic Defense Initiative known as “Star Wars” and invokes a comparison to the “Iron Dome” system that protects Israel. If realized, the system would represent the most expansive (and expensive) homeland missile defense concept in history.  
~~~
Despite Trump’s assertion that the Golden Dome system would be fully operational before the end of his term, the Pentagon’s implementation plan suggests otherwise. By the end of 2028, only a demonstration under ideal conditions is expected.  

At the same time, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth has moved to dismantle or severely limit the Office of the Director of Operational Test and Evaluation (DOT&E), a critical body responsible for independent testing and evaluation of defense systems. Such a move would significantly reduce oversight over the system’s technical performance and operational claims.  (source)  

The lower 48 states alone have a land and coastal boundary of about 10,913 miles. Alaska is fucking HUGE with 586,412 square miles and 33,904 miles of shoreline. The Hawaiian archipelago spans over 1,500 miles with 137 islands.

Israel’s perimeter? About 692 to 810 miles. Slightly larger than New Jersey.

As usual, Prez Oompa Loompa is dreaming big with taxpayer money and not thinking or listening to experts at all. Reality is often messy, difficult, and complex. Just because he can imagine this big, beautiful 'Golden Dome' doesn't mean it's possible. Even Pedo's fellow dementia pal, Ronnie Raygun, understood that, even though he totally believed in his Star Wars defense plan, it was too expensive and unrealistic.  Or maybe his fogged brain just forgot about it.

Testerical Fascist Fools

Homan— he looks like an undercooked albino ham.

For some odd reason he decided to get in front of the cameras to make a complete fascist fool of himself the other day. I guess he felt the need to address his ICEhole murderers latest killings. 

Hamface says that anyone who doesn’t immediately roll over and expose their bellies for his untrained, testerical, trigger happy ICEholes WILL be killed.

Yeah, Dude — they’ll be murdered on the street or they’ll go into one of Trump’s concentration camps for a slower death by torture and deprivation of food, meds and other necessities. How do you want to die? It's a choice, eh?

Hammy blames his rabid crew’s murders of innocents and their shitting all over our constitutional rights on, yup, the Democrats. Of course.

On that absolute beacon of journalistic integrity, Laura Ingraham’s show, he said:

“But it all goes back to the Dems, who want to continually attack ICE, and tell people to evade them, tell people don't comply, tell people to resist, and tell people ICE isn't a real law enforcement agency," (source)

Tom, you complete radish brained stump, no one needs to listen to politicians to know that ICEholes should be avoided at all costs. ICE are grossly unstable, incompetent, bloodthirsty revenants. Your crew is horror movie material and we’ve all seen this show before.

As long as I’ve got your ear, Hammy Boy, why is it always all the Dems fault? Or that mean old ICE observer who was so cruelly polite to that nice, sane 🙄 Jonathan Ross? How was it a legal innocent person's fault for being murdered? HINT — it wasn’t.

Know your rights! Have plan!

From The National Immigrant Justice Center: 

If you are pulled over in a traffic stop: Ask if the officer is from the police department or immigration. Immigration officers often identify themselves as “police,” but they are not police. Ask if they are from Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) or Customs and Border Protection (CBP). If they are immigration officers, follow these guidelines about what information to provide.

• If you are a U.S. citizen or have lawful immigration status: Show your passport, legal permanent resident card, work permit, or other documentation of your status. If you are over the age of 18, you should carry your papers with you at all times.
• If you are undocumented: You have the right to remain silent and do not have to discuss your immigration or citizenship status with the police, immigration agents, or other officials. Anything you tell an officer can later be used against you in immigration court.
• If an officer knocks on your door: Do not open the door. Teach your children not to open the door. Officers must have a warrant signed by a judge to enter your home. ICE “warrants” are not signed by judges; they are ICE forms signed by ICE officers and they do not grant authority to enter a home without consent of the occupant(s).
• If you are outdoors and think you see immigration officers nearby: Move to a safe indoor space
• If you are a U.S. citizen and feel safe to do so, record the activity with your phone or write down any relevant information about what you witness—ALWAYS being careful to not interfere or otherwise obstruct the operation. 

Read the subtext — Steven Miller, Tom Homan, and Markwaynejimbob Mullin are all telling us that no amount of compliance will save our freedom or our lives. These white boys, this KKKristofascist administration don’t care about our lives – quite the opposite. 

The ICEhole who murdered Johan Sebastián Durán Guerrero in Biddeford, Maine has quite the history.

Ashley Brouillette had not heard from her ex-husband, David Brouillette, since November. She says one of their last interactions was a three-minute voicemail in which David told her that someone should slit her and her daughters’ throats.
~~~
One time, Ashley alleges, David threw hot water at her while she held their daughter. Another time, he allegedly pointed a gun at her and said he should shoot her in their bathtub. 
~~~ 
Another ex-wife, Lucinda Brouillette, said in a statement to reporters that she “unequivocally” believes David is capable of extreme acts of violence. In hundreds of pages of court records, she has accused him of physical and verbal abuse, including allegedly dumping a plate of spaghetti on his 13-year-old daughter’s head and then tackling her while she cried. (source) 

And ICE hired him.

The name of the murderers of Lorenzo Salgado Araujo of Houston still haven’t been revealed.  As usual, ICE is trotting out the tired old lie about “weaponizing his vehicle to run over the agent.” They’ve also tried to smear him as having drugs in his van. 

“After consulting with my client and his family, our understanding is that this (substance) was granulated salt,” Powers, an attorney for Salgado Araujo’s brother Victor Salgado, one of the three passengers, said in a release. Such salt “is paired with lemon and water as a homemade electrolyte mix used by outdoor workers in extreme Texas heat,” she (attorney Ruby Powers) said. (source)

David Horsey

Ya know, even if he had a kilo of coke, that’s not a death sentence and Mr. Midget Dick ICE agent is not judge, jury, and executioner. Well, not in a sane world. 

Juan Jairo Coronilla Durán was a 28-year-old Mexican tourist with a valid tourist visa in Florida. His plane ticket home was for this past Saturday. He never made it. ICE pulled over the car he was in with three other people. Why did he run? Probably because he didn’t want to be beat the fuck up, disappeared into a concentration camp, and left to die. 

Trump and his death merchants achieved their goal – another dead brown person.

Coronilla Durán and his wife had two children, a 7-month-old girl and a 7-year-old boy

ICE didn’t check papers before it killed any of their victims. This was never and has never been about papers, who’s in the country legally OR who’s committed a crime of any kind. This is all about the color of your skin and the language you speak … but mostly the color of your skin. 

The only reason Usha Vance is still in this country is because she’s wealthy and married to Trump’s lapdog. It helps that she just pumped out another boy child though I’m sure the Party is deeply disappointed that he’s brown.

Feets

I have a relatively early foot doc appointment this morning. No, my goddamn toe is NOT getting any better. This shit’s been going on – on and off – since late November of last year and I AM FUCKING SICK OF IT! I haven’t exercised in a month.

 In addition to keeping me ambulatory, exercise is my antidepressant. On top of my balance, stamina, and all those other good mobility things, being worse than usual (which is pretty bad), I'm crabby and sad. Could you tell? Is it really noticeable?

In lieu of more swearing (and also because I need to shower and get out the door), here, have some pics, cartoons, and memes. You’re welcome.

The body is a source of endless trouble.
~ Socrates

Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.
~ Charles Bukowski

My neighbor saw a little deer wandering on the beach the other morning. Unusual. 
Coyotes, raccoons, and bunnies are common. Deer – not so much.

Jack Ohman

Walter and Skitter

Hillel is in the Azores – I told him to bring me back this door. I need it.

¡Muchas felicidades a España!

No, I don’t follow sportsball BUT I do love that Prez Idiot picked Argentina to win and, as always, what he touches fails. The Curse of Trump is a fuckton more sturdy than the liner of the Reflecting Pool or his peace deals with Iran.

The old incompetent enshitifies everything and everyone he comes into contact with. From casinos to sports teams to our entire nation – there’s nothing that won’t wither and die due to his presence.

Pedo’s so unpopular worldwide that it truly is the kiss of death for him to pick you, your cause or your team as his favorite. EVERY-fucking-one is gonna be against you, whether you actually deserve it or not. Even other  Latin Americans wanted Spain to beat Argentina. Okay, okay, the reasons for this may be a bit broader and deeper than just opposition to Trump. Still …

Mike Luckovich

 Gotta say this for that greasy, makeup coated moron, he’s a unifier. The world is almost entirely united in despising him and his crass, bullying, thick-witted, bumble brained, fourth rate cartoon gangster ways.

There’s his private army of raging, violent, idiot thugs – ICE. They're so cruel, dim, and raging (possibly hyped up on a those testosterone supplements that Kegseth wants to give to the military to “increase their lethality") that they’re murdering random brown people in the streets. 

Also, Bast forbid we exercise our First Amendment rights under Dicktator Pedo’s rule. His Secretary of Homeland Security, Markwaynejimbob will and has unleashed an arsenal worth of supposedly “less-lethal weapons” on protesters. I’ll bet that keeps his little pecker stiff long enough for a third pump into the wife/paid companion/inflatable girlfriend.

Check it out – Charting the Crackdown: The misuse of crowd-control weapons in immigration enforcement protests across the United States, June 2025-June 2026. This report and interactive map was created by Physicians for Human Rights (PHR) and the Human Rights Center at the University of California, Berkeley (HRC). Doctors and human rights experts with PHR and HRC documented 412 verified incidents of the, as they euphemistically call it, ‘misuse’ of crowd-control weapons. These are also known as “less-lethal weapons.” Rubber bullets, beanbag rounds, and plastic bullets may not kill you but they can blind you, cause traumatic brain injuries, fractures, and more.

Rex Babin

In 202 incidents (49%), force was directed at individuals with explicit legal protections or requiring special caution. Of these, 179 were violations against professional protected groups of professionals relied upon to document assemblies or safeguard demonstrators including 175 journalists, two healthcare workers, and two legal observers. Force against journalists is specifically prohibited by UN human rights guidance, First Amendment protections, and many local laws (including in California). Twenty-three incidents (6%) involved vulnerable individuals, including children (12), pregnant or elderly persons (8), or those with a visible disability (3). Force against minors, pregnant persons, and people with disabilities is restricted under CBP, ICE, LAPD, LASD, and SPPD protocols. Minors, pregnant individuals, elderly persons, people with disabilities, and journalists and healthcare workers documenting the events are not, by any reasonable standard, individuals who pose an imminent threat. Their documented injuries from crowd-control weapons suggests that force was being deployed indiscriminately, reaching bystanders and non-threatening individuals unlikely to be posing a threat to public safety, rather than being directed at any specific threat.

In 264 incidents (64%), the method of deployment itself was prohibited or restricted under applicable protocols. The most frequent violation was close-range deployment (148 incidents, 36%), where minimum safe distances specified by manufacturers and agency policy were disregarded. Shots to the head (97 incidents, 24%) and shots to the groin (7, 2%) directly violated prohibitions in every applicable agency policy reviewed, from CBP and ICE to LAPD, LASD, and SPPD, and clearly demonstrate the severe injuries these weapons can cause. (source) 

Go look at the whole report. The charts are really clear and illuminating.

While bad things happening are not more statistically probable, lately it sure seems that way.

Sunday Stupids

The City Investing Building
Built in 1908 in lower Manhattan
Demolished in the 1960s.

That bald, chinless, dickless, woman hating, rapist, and sex trafficker Andrew Tate and his less follicly challenged brother Tristan have been arrested in Miami. GOOD!

Pro tuck job?
Forgot to strap on pre photo op?

A news release from the UK’s Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) said Andrew Tate, 39, had been charged with seven further counts of rape, three counts of arranging or facilitating trafficking for sexual exploitation, three counts of assault occasioning actual bodily harm and 19 additional charges for offences relating to indecent images of a child and extreme pornography.

Additional charges against Tristan Tate, 38, include one count of sexual assault, two counts of rape and three counts of arranging or facilitating trafficking for sexual exploitation. (source)  

Question – why is Andy dressed like Peg Bundy? I mean, we all have our fashion icons but considering how much he says and performs hatred for women, I'm a little surprised. Wait, is this projection or internalized self-hated? OF fucking course it is! Is ol' Andy slowly coming out of the drag queen closet now? Are miniskirts next? (he does have nice legs) Will he do a prison version of RuPaul's Drag Race?

Could Tristan and Andy's fellow rapist and pedophile, Trump, intervene on their behalf? Ya know, help brothers in violently abusive misogyny out in their hour of need and shit? I’m sure Pedo would love to. I mean, they are his kind of guys and he has stepped in to shield them from the law in the past. 

This time the Tates are shit outta luck. The charges against these scumbags originate in the UK. As much as Pedo thinks he’s king of the world, in this instance Toddler Trump doesn’t have the authority to pardon his rape buddies.

The Tates' ongoing criminal proceedings in Romania—where they were previously held on charges of human trafficking and sexual exploitation—also remain open.
~~~
A slight twist on Nero fiddling while Rome burns — Trump golfs while Americans die.

Two U.S. service members were killed and another remains missing after an Iranian missile and drone barrage in Jordan on Friday, U.S. Central Command announced.

The military confirmed the deaths on Saturday, as President Donald Trump was visiting his Bedminster, New Jersey golf course. It was not clear if he had already been informed of the deaths, but a White House press pool call scheduled for noon was pushed back to 2 p.m., and then later to 4 p.m., suggesting damage control behind the scenes. (source) 

I’m shocked, I tell you, shocked. (you know I’m totally NOT) While young men and women are out there fighting and dying in his illegal ego war, he’s on the golf course.

By the by, that golf course? It’s the Trump National Golf Club in New Jersey. There’s a $125,000 member initiation fee to join. None of the uniformed peasants dying in the Middle East (in a war to distract the US from thinking about what Trump did to 13-year-old girls on Epstein Island) can afford to pay that fee. That’s the point – keep the commoners in their place.

Your sons, daughters, brothers, and sisters can die to distract everyone from his other crimes against humanity but Bast forbid you be able to afford to hit pitted balls with a stick on the same lawn as him.

So far, according to CENTCOM:

• Killed in Action (KIA): 16 service members
• Missing in Action (MIA): 1 service member 
• Wounded: More than 430 personnel

How many more people have to die for his ego?

It's Caturday

Rocco – our dearly departed cat exorcist

Jen and I are thinking we may need to invest in a kitty exorcist. 

Why? 

First remember, between our two abodes we have three beasties. Yes, we’re running on the light side lately. What can I say? The Cat Distribution System (CDS) hasn’t been ‘round recently. WE’RE SUFFERING HERE! Skitter and Walter live with Jen, Oni, and Kevin. Cake lives with Ten and me. Yesterday all three of our resident overlords seemed distinctly out of sorts – just not in the mood for any of their minions’ nonsense. And by “nonsense” I’m referring to liberties and indignities such as:

• Giving one too many head pats
• Not moving our hands away from proferred treats quickly enough
• Wearing sneakers when you KNOW I HATE those particular sneakers this morning! 

These are clear crimes against felinity and obvs deserved a fair swat or three. Yes, even with claws out. These indiscretions and blunders will simply not be tolerated!

I thought I was fairly safe as I’ve been in bed with my sore foot lately. Yesterday though, I ventured downstairs to find that I’m not in fact exempt. Naturally, I had to text Jen immediately and tattle on her beloved’s crime (Jen is Cake’s favorite after Ten. Me? I’m just a stray broad who he cadges pats from occasionally).

Sarah Andersen

Me:  Your cat 🐈‍⬛ just took a swipe at me!

Jen:  Haha… MY cat?

And what is his deal today? Poor little confused pumpkin. Does he need an exorcist too???

Me:  Yes! Cat exorcists all around!

Jen:  Maybe we can get a discount for multiple ‘cisms. 
 
Me:  That would be good but NO Walmart exorcisms. Their priests are cheap, made in China, knock-offs. Their Latin is all run through Google translate so it's seriously sus. I’m afraid that, instead of exorcising our kitten’s demons, we’ll end up summoning Cerberus or some other hellhounds. No thank you! AND, swear to god, the last “priest” they sent was Methodist! I mean, REALLY NOW! The absolute audacity of these capitalists!

Jen:  Geez, maybe we should go directly to Rome. Get one of those milk drinking nuns instead!

This is a reference to when Jen and I were people watching at a hotel bar in Rome. From our perch we could see the hotel's entrance. A huge crowd (a flock?) of habit clad nuns pulled up in a tour bus and poured into the building. One very short, compact sister, split off from the group, made a beeline for the bar, and placed an order. 

Naturally, our curiosity was piqued. WHAT had this nun ordered? A whisky, brandy, Chartreuse, maybe a Limoncello? 

Nope, sister ordered a shot of milk, straight, no chaser. She tossed it back like a gun fighter about to head to the OK Corral and then walked out the door to rejoin the flock.

Well … alrighty then!

Back to exorcists and cats – all seems calm on the feline front this morning so I don’t think we’ll need to place an emergency call into the Rome office after all. 

PHEW!

Ronald Searle