Alligator Wrestling with Taxes in Helsinki?

Goddamn, it’s Friday. Hallelujah! 

Don’t know ‘bout you but I’ll put off an onerous task like tax prep, folding and putting away my laundry, Marie Kondo-ing my closets for-fucking-EVAH. And then there’s dental procedures. The dental surgery I had just a couple weeks ago was the final of a trio had over this past year. I put this last one off for months. I had Jen reschedule it three different times. 

Jesus Novocaine Christ, I was dreading it. The hour or two in the chair as the surgeon wrestled my face like they were Florida alligator wrestlers and I was the poor reptile – i.e. NOT gently. OH, the pain I anticipated – the days upon weeks of only being able to drink broth and eat mashed food! Life would be misery!

How’d it turn out? The whole shebang took less than 15 minutes. I was dazed and fuzzy afterward but, amazingly, in zilcho pain AND there was very little blood. I was eating regular food a day later.

Did I feel like a big, chickenhearted, whiny, baby-ass, scaredy cat? Big time!

Similarly, I’ve put off doing my taxes for a few years. I've never owed – the government always owes me. So WHAT was my problem? All the damn paperwork. Collecting and collating all my receipts and shit for my deductions. Dotting every last "i" and crossing every single "t." In putting off something so, ultimately – when taken step by step, easy and uncomplicated, I made SO much more work for myself.

It’s done though. How’d it go? Obscenely smoothly. Embarrassingly so. 

I spent ridiculous amounts of emotional energy this winter with dread and anxiety as my roommates. What a fucking waste of headspace. 

The last thing weighing on me is my last round of MRIs which I’ll have tomorrow morning. I’ll review the results with Doc Plotkin on May 7th. I’m not really expecting any horror-show news. I read the the lab’s write up of my first two scans and it doesn’t look like there’s been much critical growth but what do I know? I’m not a neurologist.   

So then, MRIs tomorrow BUT at least I’ve the insanely overdue tax prep is off to the accounting wizards.

Ya know what having the tax weight off my bean does? It frees me up to dream and scheme. Fer instance – Jen’s nephew just got into grad school for geology. How wicked awesome is that?! Even better, he got into the University of Helsinki! 

Obviously my first thought was WE HAVE TO GO VISIT HIM THERE! We’ve never been to Finland and now I am ALL kinds of curious. I want to know everything about Finland!

Yeah wait…hold those damn horses:
Q:  How psyched is a 24-year-old kid gonna be about his aunt and her elderly, sweary, disabled, deaf, bestie coming to visit him at college?

A:  I’m sure he’d be 199 kinds of thrilled to have one of his fave aunties visit. Me? I’m not as much fun as I once was. Advanced age and NF2 will do that for ya. Still, Jen and Seamus could go out and hit the clubs (or whatev). I can sit at our hotel bar sipping my Lonkero or Ville Vallaton and then head up to our room to read and otherwise enjoy the view of Helsinki (i.e. NOT America).

I will have to research how to travel as a less than fully able human.  I know I’ll need to be in a wheelchair for airport navigation but once we’re in Finland, I want to be uprightly mobile.

If Seamus is down with us visiting, I’m figuring we’ll go next spring. This will give me a year to build up my leg strength and endurance. Riding my recumbent elliptical is good cardio but it’s not weight bearing. I need to walk and just stand for that.

Having this potential trip on the horizon is giving me extra incentive, more motivation to brave the windy outdoors and walk, walk, walk.

These Are NOT Bright Humans

I mean, DUH-HUH!!!

Kegseth abruptly fired Navy Secretary John Phelan. Awfully inconvenient timing, wouldn’t you say? I mean, we are in the middle of a war and that Gulf of Hormuz (or Gulf of Vermouth as the Drunk Administration calls it) is rather critical. Right?

The sources said Hegseth in effect blamed Phelan for not going aggressively enough against Senator Mark Kelly after appearing in a video in which the senator advised troops to ignore “illegal orders”. (source) 

So, Phelan got the ax because he, more or less, agreed that sailors have a duty to disobey unlawful orders. Unlawful orders defined as violating the Constitution or US or international laws like those of the Geneva Convention. Plastered Pete's ultra fragile manhood, naturally, felt threatened.

Phelan’s replacement? Acting Navy secretary Hung Cao. He has a typical Republican backstory in that there’s some obvious lies about his past. He claims to have been "completely" disabled after he was “blown up” in combat but he was never given a Purple Heart. Huh.

Eligibility for a Purple Heart applies to service members who suffered a wound: 1) As the direct or indirect result of enemy action, and 2) The wound required treatment by a medical officer at the time of the injury. (source) 

There’s also no record of him receiving the Navy’s Combat Action Ribbon.

The principal eligibility criterion is that the individual must have participated in a bona fide ground or surface combat fire-fight or action during which he/she was under enemy fire and his/her performance while under fire was satisfactory. (source)  

Gee, I’d think that if he’d really been “blown up,” as he’d claimed, he’d at least have a Combat Action Ribbon if not that and a Purple Heart. Still he claims to be completely disabled from being “shot at and blown up in Iraq, Afghanistan, Somalia.”

Four retired Navy and Army officers who reviewed Cao’s service record said it was unusual for a sailor severely wounded in combat in Iraq or Afghanistan not to have received a Purple Heart or the Navy’s Combat Action Ribbon. (source) 

Stolen valor much, Hung Cao?

Prez Pedo and his crew of crack incompetents sure can pick winners, can’t they? I guess we can just be grateful that no allegations or convictions for rape and/or pedophilia have come out … so far.

According to Iran’s Ministry of Health 3,375 people have now been killed in the Pedo and Bib’s attacks on Iran. There are also 2,294 dead in Lebanon from Israel’s attacks. 

On the other side of the coin, 26 Israelis, 13 US soldiers, and 28 people in various Gulf states have been killed.

118 Iraqis are now dead thanks to Trump and Netanyahu’s war of choice. 

Most of them (the Iraqis) were members of the Popular Mobilisation Forces (PMF) paramilitary group, some units of which are aligned with Iran. (source) 

Right this second, that's a total of 5, 826 total dead humans. Dead for absolutely no good reason.

Israel is, as of this morning, is blowing up residential neighborhoods in the southern Lebanese city of Bint Jbeil. So much for the  Lebanon-Israel peace talks, eh?

What makes these right wing fuckheads so insanely bloodthirsty? Were they not breastfed long enough? Did someone steal Bibi’s favorite binky? Did Pedo’s Klan belonging father, Fred, shit in his son’s Cheerios every morning? Did his illegal alien mother gas him with hairspray each morning, thus crippling his already barely functioning brain?

I’d really like to know!

Send in the Clowns

The US doesn’t have a government – we have a flaming clown car flying down Main Street at 100mph. It’s manned by a mob of drunk weasels in puke stained trench coats who are desperately trying to come up with their next great lie, their next lunatic cover story to explain away the mad king’s latest bloated ego and dementia fueled outburst.  

This is, of course, no surprise to you.

No wonder the clowns are all always either plastered like Pete the Secretary of War Crimes, blind drunk and out-for-the-count like FBI Director Krazy Kash  or driving the train like lil’ Marco the supposed Secretary of State whose job doesn’t seem to include diplomatic efforts with Iran. Hmmm, interesting that.

Bill Day

The latest substance abuser to fall? Andrew Hugg, the U.S. Army's Branch Chief for Chemical Nuclear Surety. Sounds like a serious gig. What’s it entail, basically?

His official Army duties include overseeing personnel reliability programs and leading insider-threat work for the transport of radioactive material, according to public-facing professional bios. These are the systems designed to ensure that individuals trusted with sensitive assets are beyond reproach in their discretion and emotional stability. 

Professional profiles previously associated with Hugg also listed a role as a member of the Senior Technical Staff at Oak Ridge National Laboratory, a position that sits at the heart of nuclear weapons and non-proliferation research. (source) 

Tom Toro

Andrew Hugg was apparently trying to get laid and, clearly believing sensitive national security tidbits are aphrodisiacs, started dropping government secrets like oysters, chocolate cover strawberries, and perfectly twisted joints. 

He told the woman he'd just met about plans to assassinate Iran’s latest supreme leader. He confirmed that children have been killed in US strikes, saying they were “collateral damage – they [kids] always die during war.”  He talked about US missile-launch detection systems and how the military handles launch messages. He said the military still uses nerve agents.

Stunningly and unironically, Andy says to the woman “the easiest way to get intelligence…send a pretty girl, talk to the guy…I have to resist your eyes.” Sheesh! I wonder if Randy Andy ever thinks with his brain instead of his dick. The woman was an undercover reporter and she was recording.

Dude was escorted out of the Pentagon. Frankly, I’m a little surprised. I would’ve thought Plastered Pete the rapey, war crimes, dry drunk secretary would have, like, totally understood and given him a pass. Stands to reason, given Pete's Signalgate past and all.

Interestingly, Andy’s sting was set up and reported by James O’Keefe. Remember him? O’Keefe is the far-right political provocateur who, in the past, hasn’t been above editing his videos to create false narratives. He’s all right-wing RAH-RAH-RAH + ego + theater. Ethics and reality be damned. Has this video been edited to make Andy appear worse than he already does? 

OMG [O'Keefe Media Group] said parts of the video were redacted because they contained what it described as intimate details about the U.S. nuclear arsenal, including discussion about missiles located underground. (source) 

As it is, it’s gonna be really hard for the old boy to talk his way out of this.

One of Those Days

There are some days that I need to take a break from the goddamn news and, waddyaknow, today seems to be an excellent day for that. Sure, I’ll still take a peek here and there  – mostly to see if I should go stand outside to wait for the nuclear blast and my vaporization.

Hmmm, what does one wear to a vaporization? I'll probably just go with my usual T-shirt and workout pants. Tie dye seems appropriate somehow. Luckily I've a goodly amount of that. Others may wish to go out in more formal attire – to each their own and shit.

I suppose we should have pre-nuke cocktails. I haven’t had a proper martini in years. Wonder if there’s time to pick up olives and vermouth before we’re all vaporized? 

We'll need snacks too. Can't go out without a nice taste in my mouth. What goes best with dry martinis and imminent physical disintegration? I'm thinking savory versus sweet. Maybe jalapeño poppers, samosas, and veggie tempura? Perhaps some guacamole just to round things out?

Tragically ironic, isn't it? How nuclear weapons represent both our species' mastery over the very foundations of nature, as well as our utter inability to master our most primitive instincts.
~ Tom B. Night, Mind Painter

Gambling rules don't work in nuclear war - everyone become loser.
~ Amit Ray, Nuclear Weapons Free World - Peace on the Earth

Total annihilation has a way of sharpening people's minds.
~ Yuval Noah Harari, 21 Lessons for the 21st Century

Can there be any question that the human is the least harmonious beast in the forest and the creature most toxic to the nest? 
~ Randy Thornhorn

I myself feel that our country, for whose Constitution I fought in a just war, might as well have been invaded by Martians and body snatchers. Sometimes I wish it had been. What has happened, though, is that it has been taken over by means of the sleaziest, low-comedy, Keystone Cops-style coup d'etat imaginable.
~ Kurt Vonnegut

Bill Bramhall

Wawawiwa Comics 

Mike Luckovich

Devils

They're here – in America. But that's obvious now, in'nt?

Yesterday a man in Shreveport, Louisiana killed seven of his own children plus one of their friends. He critically wounded two women – one was his wife. The other was, supposedly, his girlfriend. 

The gunman first shot a woman on nearby Harrison Street before he headed to the home on West 79th Street, where he killed all the children, police said. (source)

Who was this woman? How is she related to the two women he shot in the house with the kids? Can she possibly be a random bystander?

The NBC post notes that many of the children were shot in their sleep and most shot in the head. I suppose that’s a boon – if one can possibly exist in this horrific situation. At least some of the children didn’t see it coming and died instantly. No long drawn out, torturous, trump-epsteinian end.

A ninth child managed to successfully escape. The 13-year-old ran out onto a roof and fell or jumped off. He has broken bones but he’s alive.

That vile, canker-souled sperm donor murdered eight children and attempted to off two women. WHY? WHY would anyone do something so devastatingly heinous? There’s a NY Times article which is, naturally, paywalled. Maybe that has more info. On Threads I keep seeing posts saying that he did it because his wife was leaving him.

… the most dangerous time for a survivor/victim is when she leaves the abusive partner; 77% domestic violence-related homicides occur upon separation and there is a 75% increase of violence upon separation for at least two years. (source) 

Dr. Cerina Fairfax was murdered early last Thursday by her husband, Justin Fairfax. They were going through a divorce and a judge had ordered him to move out of their house by the end of the month. Fairfax killed himself after finishing her off. Their two teenage kids were in the house when he did the deed. At least he didn’t murder them too.

Eight children are dead because the American public and its government has been hornswoggled, conned and bribed by the gun industry and the manosphere.

Term for the day – family annihilation AKA familicide. This is when someone chooses to murder multiple family members in close succession, usually a spouse and children.

Did you know? As of 2023, the state with the highest number of family annihilations is Texas. Yeah I know, who could have possibly guessed? 🙄 BIG trucks, BIG guns – everything’s BIGGER in Texas, God Bless Texas – Texass has the highest number of men murdering their families. Florida, naturally, comes in second. In a review of killings from 2020 through April of 2023, Texas led the nation with 33 cases of family annihilations.

Nationwide, men carried out 94% of those killings and guns were used in 86% of cases. In Texas, only one of the 33 cases was carried out by a woman and 85% of cases involved the use of a firearm. (source) 

Two women are now in the hospital and eight children are dead. All because a man got testerical when he heard the word “no.” Men are, apparently, too emotional to own guns OR, based on our current president and his administration, hold public office. FACTS!

The man who annihilated his family is dead. After murdering all of his children, he committed suicide by cop. There won't be any justice for those dead kids. There is nowhere for the rage, sorrow, or stunned disbelief of the survivors to go. It just hangs in the air like a heavy fog.

Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.
~ Margaret Atwood

And Now For Something Completely Different

For starters, IF my father was still alive, today would be his 90th birthday. He died five years ago on Juneteenth. It was during my surgery-a-thon years ('20-'21). Back in those days, I usually only left the damn house via ambulance headed for MGH. I’d gotten the heads up from my sister that Daddy, in hospice, was fading and only had days left. I was physically unable to make the trip so the last time I saw him was via FaceTime.

Jen planted a wee catalpa tree in our back yard in his memory. Now that spring is finally here in coastal New England, there are buds on the trees. Leaves and blossoms soon.

Happy birthday Daddy!

Next – I had a very strange dream the other night. Hillel, his wife, Catherine, and I were in an old, abandoned, Victorian house. This was some sort of Nancy Drew/Scooby Doo/Hardy Boys kind of mystery setting. We were investigating murderers or ghosts or, possibly, murderous ghosts. In any case, something chillingly dangerous.

All of a sudden, as we were creeping down rickety back stairs toward the kitchen, flashlights in hand, a horde of zombies, who were clearly afflicted with leprosy, broke in through the back door.

Hillel and Catherine knew what to do immediately. They were on the job. Me? I was frozen in place – skeeved out and scared shitless.

Hillel announced that he would simply go down and make these new guests a proper tea (with cucumber sandwiches, scones and a nice fruit custard tart, of course) and so he did. As Hillel and his wife went downstairs to welcome the horde and prepare tea, the house transformed into their very own lovely home. The dead of night became sunny daytime and the leprosy ridden zombies, while still shambling, disgusting, undead, diseased things, became civilized, socially ept, veritable bon vivants. 

For my part, I was still in the back hall, observing. Lurking, really. As you probably know, I am, quite possibly, the antithesis of socially skilled and polished. Yes, even in a tea party of leprosy riddled zombies where body parts are dropping quicker than Republican ethics when ol’ Leon starts stuffing millions into their Y-fronts.

What’s this dream mean? Anything? Is this just my unconscious mind putting together horror/comedy entertainments for me? Honestly? I half expected Gene Wilder, Cloris Leachman, or Peter Boyle to come out from behind a velvet curtain. Yes, I know that’s Frankenstein, not zombies, but if my dream was going to be a diversion, it would be Mel Brooksian.

I believe, if there’s really any significance beyond my brain just amusing me, it’s this – this past winter’s been a real long, cold, slog. My health has been crappy (and, generally, not due to my usual NF2 ridiculousness). The weather’s been too wet, windy, and snowy for me to get outside. I’ve, pretty much, been housebound. Given that I’m not much of a people person (I’m a curmudgeonly introvert? A cuddly misanthrope? A recluse who doesn’t bite…much?) Staying in wasn’t a hardship. After all, I have Ten, Jen, Oni, Kevin AND three cats (Cake, Skitter, and Walter)!

Still, five months of bad weather, up and down health, and only getting outside to go to physical therapy, doctor appointments, those few days spent in hospital, and my usual load of MRIs, really got old and dreary. I’m, possibly, feeling a mite antsy. I actually want to get out of the house – take little walks along the seawall – build up my walking strength and endurance, stare at the waves, be on the lookout for sea monsters and shit (if I see one, maybe I could name it Clyde or Lavinia – I wonder if they like Temptations cat treats. PFFFT – who doesn’t)?

ANYWAY, this coming week should be mostly dry and in the low 50s so I should be able to get out for a few walkies. From there maybe I can work my way up to going out to lunch and people watching. I may not necessarily want to interact with other scary humans (live and in person EEK!) but sitting in a cafe with a calming cup of tea, observing from afar might be nice. Maybe a little picnic on the Common once it gets warmer?

Question — for viewing purposes, would opera glasses, binoculars, or a telescope be best? I think I’d look darling with opera glasses but binoculars might be more effective and most dashing!

Mission NOT Accomplished

He could only have humiliated himself more if he’d landed on an aircraft carrier with a flapping banner, proclaiming Mission Accomplished, behind him.  

The Strait of Hormuz is NOT open. Prez Pedo lied (I know – of course he did) in saying that Iran agreed to reopen the Strait without any conditions, while the US blockade remained in place. The Iranian Deputy Foreign Minister Saeed Khatibzadeh said “that is not the term we agreed on.” 

Negotiations are ongoing.
Yesterday, Donnie Demento “barred” Bibi from bombing Lebanon. How’s that working out, you ask?

Israel has already attacked Lebanon, saying that Hezbollah violated the ceasefire first. As in Gaza, they've targeted medics and civilians.

The first two ambulances were destroyed, their tyres blown and windows shattered. Six of their eight crew members were covered in blood and lying in the road or the back of one vehicle.

A paramedic in one of the driver’s seats, blood pulsing from his abdomen, was cradling a colleague in his lap, pleading with him to stay conscious.

“I felt sick. I couldn’t believe my eyes,” medic Mohammed Jaber, 43, told The Associated Press.

 Jaber said he and the others hurried to load the most critically injured into their working ambulances. As team leader Mahdi Abu Zaid ran to close the doors, they, too, were attacked. (source) 

So much for that ceasefire, eh?

Anyone with half an ounce of self-awareness would’ve known that:

•  Netanyahu’s a big-ass serious, scary asshole. He’s not some reality TV show “tough” guy. Bibi’s def not about to take orders from some delulu dimwit in ridiculous orange face-paint who reeks of old sweaty armpits, ketchup, shitty diapers, cheap cologne, Aqua Net Extra Super Hold hairspray and postures like he’s at center stage of his junior high auditorium.

•  Iran’s not playing. They, like the rest of the world, see the mental stench factory for who and what he is. They quite understand that Trump’s administration is filled with unprepared, incompetent, none-too-bright actors who are only vaguely aware that they’re in WAY over their heads.

At this point I think even Putin’s thinking of taking the ring back.

No one is on Trump’s side. Hell’s bell, at this point most of the US isn’t even on “our” side. 

In late March, according to an Economist/YouGov poll, 27% of American idiot adults still identify as MAGAts. Incredible. Just stunningly stupid.

 
Maybe the moldy rutabaga brains who continue to cheer him on are mostly only doing it because they’ve sunk so much money into Trump crap? Ya know, they’re thinking the clown shoes, hats, watches, bibles, T-shirts, beer koozies, etc., would be worth big money one day. IT’S AN INVESTMENT! A retirement fund! They just can’t accept that they’ve been had by a carnival barking, child raping, hustler in a bad wig with worse makeup and a fully loaded, smelly diaper.

These people vote.

WTAF!!!

THIS is the actual lunch tray of a sailor on board a US Navy ship in the Middle East. These service members, who Pedo only gives a shit about when he can wield them as symbols in his support and defense, are being served a minuscule portion of shredded mystery meat and a wee folded tortilla. Then they’re expected to go out and die for a pedophile’s idiotic war of choice.

Service members aboard the USS Tripoli and USS Abraham Lincoln have reported severely reduced meal portions and poor-quality food, with images showing sparse trays containing minimal protein and vegetables. Families say fresh produce has disappeared from menus and that sailors are rationing what remains. (source) 

The US supposedly has the finest military in the world. We can’t afford to feed them enough to effectively function? Isn't it a bit early in the don’t-call-it-a-war to be running out of food? Did some of it fall off the back of a truck? Is it, instead, on Pete, Donnie, and the rest of the warmongering GOP’s plates in the form of lobster tails and steak?

Families, friends and concerned citizens have been sending food (like Kind bars, Girl Scout cookies, Nutri-Grain bars) and hygiene products (the sailors and marines aren’t getting those either – imagine being out to sea, getting your period and running out of tampons/pads) but the Postal Service and the Military Postal Service Agency suspended deliveries at the beginning of April. This despite the current supposed ceasefire.

How long can a military effectively function when it’s hungry? When it’s been underfed and fed absolute crap that you wouldn’t feed your dog, for weeks on end?

All this and Keg Boy, that fake christian, that horrendous insult to actual sincere, practicing followers of their prophet’s teachings, continues to play big swinging "Christian." Now he’s spewing bible quotes … except *whoopsie* they’re from the Gospel of Tarantino. Pete, you malignant piece of greasy used jet trash, are you really this stupid? If he is, how did he manage to get into, let alone earn degrees from Princeton and Harvard? Is he like Pedo? Did his daddy buy his entrée and sheepskins?

OR does Keggers just think the rest of us are dimbulbed enough to buy his odoriferous bullshit? Maybe. I’m betting that his many years of booze abuse have destroyed his last operational brain cells. Dude is no longer able to distinguish between pulp fiction, his violent fantasy life and the real world.

Nick Anderson

Meanwhile Trump, JDouche, and little Mike Johnson continue to scold and school Pope Leo (fer fuck’s sake) on all things theological. Leo is unmoved by these lying-ass fools' blustering (again, fer fuck’s sake!) and calmly continues to advocate peace. Right on, man. 

Funny aside – this is how clueless JDouche is:

Pope Leo XIV is from the Augustinian order and wrote his doctoral thesis on Saint Augustine’s ideas – it was the culmination of a lifelong intellectual interest. Saint Augustine is the fourth century philosopher who outlined the concept of a “just war.”

Conversely, Vance is a recent convert to Catholicism with zilcho background in the church’s history – philosophical or otherwise.

Vance is trying to argue with Leo that the US’s unprovoked bombing of Iran is a “just war” in the eyes of god and the church.

“When the pope says that God is never on the side of people who wield the sword, there is more than a 1,000-year tradition of just-war theory,” Vance said. …

“I think it’s very, very important for the pope to be careful when he talks about matters of theology,” Vance said. “If you’re going to opine on matters of theology, you’ve got to be careful.” 
~~~
… Wednesday, Bishop James Massa, the chair of the US Conference of Catholic Bishops’ committee on doctrine, intervened on behalf of the Catholic bishops in the US to make clear that Leo’s comments were not a question of the pope’s “opinion” but Catholic teaching contained in the catechism, the collected doctrine of the church.

“For over 1,000 years, the Catholic church has taught just-war theory, and it is that long tradition the Holy Father carefully references in his comments on war,” Massa said.

“A constant tenet of that 1,000-year tradition is a nation can only legitimately take up the sword ‘in self-defence, once all peace efforts have failed’. That is, to be a just war it must be a defence against another who actively wages war, which is what the Holy Father actually said: ‘He does not listen to the prayers of those who wage war.’” (source) 

Christ almighty, the Republican Party is just a load of immensely embarrassing, willfully ignorant, violent, bigoted, rapey, intransigent, cosplaying motherfuckers.