Beware the Ides of March

The Death of Julius Caesar, Vincenzo Camuccini

‘da fuck are “Ides?”

The term Ides derives from the Latin word iduare (Latin: “to divide”), with the full moon serving as the division point in the middle of each month. In the ancient Roman calendar, months were divided according to the lunar cycle into three groups of days. The Ides corresponded with the rise of the full moon in the middle of the month, the Kalends corresponded with the new moon at the beginning of the month, and the Nones fell on the quarter moon phases in between. (source) 

WAY back in 44 BCE, Julius Caesar, the Roman dictator, was assassinated by 60 or so co-conspirators on this day – March 15th. Dude had some serious haters. Folks, supposedly trying to save Rome from being a monarchy/autocracy, ganged up and stabbed the shit out of him.

Why’s this come to mind today? Gee…dunno. Waddya think? Bet we could find 60+ co-conspirators with sharp knives pretty quick if we tried though.

I only mention it but, while Caesar was certainly a conquest happy dictator, he did some good stuff too. He gave property to retiring soldiers, redistributed land to the poor, granted citizenship to people living in Roman territories, canceled debts, expanded the Senate to make it more representative, and reformed the tax system to make it more efficient and fair. So, for a dictator, he had some decent things going for him.

The same can’t be said for current era war-making, orange dicktator wannabes.

Speaking of serial warmongerers, did you know? The U.S. Mint is no longer printing dimes with an olive branch on them. NB, the eagle, based on the Great Seal of the United States is still clutching the arrows in its left talon but its right, which should be holding the olive branch, is now empty.

For a nation whose founding symbols were carefully engineered around the balance of peace and war, that omission is hard to read as accidental.
~~~ 
What does the olive branch mean?

When the Great Seal of the United States was finalized in 1782, it contained what the Founding Father’s held as the country’s most esteemed values. The eagle holds 13 arrows in its left talon and an olive branch in its right, its head turned toward the branch—the side which the eagle preferred to err on. (source) 

New dime – arrows, empty slogan, and
conspicuously missing olive branch

I guess Prez Pedo deemed the dime “woke” and, as we know, peace, love, and understanding just doesn’t fly with the all-war-all-the-time Guardians Of Pedophiles administration.

Current dime

The dime’s redesign is for the 250th birthday of the U.S. The quarter is also getting a makeover. Three of the five designs recommended by the Citizens Coinage Advisory Committee were ixnayed by that flaming load of pompous, condescending, rich white trash, who’s so far up Pedo’s ass he’ll never see daylight again – Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent.

Why did he trash these particular designs? They were about the abolition of slavery, women's suffrage, and the civil rights movement. Bullshit Bessent approved designs about pilgrims and the Revolutionary War instead. Yup, nice and safe. Won’t upset any delicate, Republican, white people feelings. Good job, you fucking suck up.

Jesus Rabbit Hole Christ

Someone on Threads last night asked if Jesus’ last name was actually “Christ” or is that just, like, his job title? 

The comments were informative but mostly hilarious. Here are a small selection of them:  

He was a carpenter, Christ was his side hustle
~~~ 
Middle name Christ, last name Onacracker.
~~~
I think it must be his last name because lately I've been hearing a lot about his Auntie Christ.
~~~
Yeshua HaMashiach is one attributed to him. Translates to Yeshua the messiah.

Yehoshua Ben David would have possibly been his full name since it would include his reference to being from the house of David.

Christ is Greek and means anointed.

If Jesus’ name had been anglicanized like Paul, Peter, Mark, etc. it would be Josh.

So, oily Josh from David.
~~~ 
Jesus’ last name was Feldman. Full name and title: Jesus H. Feldman, Christ.
~~~
Jesus was his first name, the Christ bit started as a nickname when he hit his thumb with a hammer while doing some carpentry. His loud shout of ‘Christ! I’ve proper fucked me thumb this time lads’ led to his carpenter pals all calling him Jesus Christ-I’ve-knacked-me-thumb, later shortened to Jesus Christ. 

True story. It’s in the bible.
~~~ 
My Dad always screamed at my Mom, “Jesus Christ Alice!” I grew up thinking she was part of the trinity. The Father, the Son, and my Mom in the kitchen.
~~~
I thought his last name was Superstar.
~~~ 
He went by Jesus of Nazareth after he was supposedly knighted, but some people think he was just a squire who never was knighted and he just wanted to fight in tourneys.

I might be mixing up my nonsense, it's late.
~~~
His adoptive parents were Jose and Maria Christ. I think his birth name was Ramirez. Jesus Ramirez. Immigrated from Spain which is why they wouldn't let him stay at the inn, made them sleep in the barn, and then chased them out of the country. 

At least it's a more believable story than that virgin birth bullshit.
~~~ 
His last name was originally “Christstein” but he shortened it because it sounded too ethnic.
~~~
I thought his last name was “of Nazareth.” He changed it to Christ when he married God or something.

~~~ 
All I know is, his middle name starts with an H and he drove a blue Accord. Only one though. The rest of his rides were ancient, beat to shit VW bugs.
~~~ 
If there's any confusion on his last name and Pedo’s SAVE Act passes, it seems Jesus will have to jump through a bazillion and three hoops in order to vote in the next election.
~~~ 
Last name is Christ. He had a brother named Samuel – Sam Fucking Christ.
~~~ 
His full, government name was Jesus Tap Dancing Christ. 

Wine will do that to people.

One last Threads comment really struck me:

An adult asked me what Judas' last name was when I was a kid. I answered “Priest"

Why did that hit me? Because Judas Iscariot was the only New Testament character, that I know of, who had a last name. 

The naming conventions of the time and place were: 
Who’s your Daddy: Your name + father's name, e.g: Donna of Chuck or Jen of Jack
Where you from: Your name + your home town. e.g: Donna from Boston, Jen from Scituate

So, old Judas didn’t really have a last name, as we think of them today. According to Bart Ehrman on his blog about the history and literature of early christianity:

… Iscariot, most likely, comes from the Hebrew words “ish-Kerioth”– which might mean something like “a man” (= ish) who comes from the village of Kerioth. If this view is correct,– then the question remains: where was Kerioth?  The book of Joshua in the Hebrew Bible mentions a town of this name in the southern part of Israel, the region later known as Judea (Josh. 15:25); and perhaps that’s what the name signifies, that Judas was a Judean.  If so, that would make him the only “southerner” among Jesus’ followers. (source) 

Ehrman lists a few other possible roots for Judas' name. I feel a rabbit hole coming on.  Gotta explore.

Operation Epstein Fury Day 14

Jeff Stahler

More than $11.3 billion of our taxpayers buckos were spent in the first week of Operation Epstein Fury. Today is Day 14. How much are we on the hook for now? Hey, it's not coming out of Prez Pedo's pockets. Pete, the drunk-on-death Grim Reaper, isn't picking up that tab. The rich motherfuckers who got all of Big Donnie's sweetheart tax breaks won't feel it. How's that $4 and $5 a gallon gas feel, eh?

Nearly 300 children have been killed so far by the self-proclaimed “pro-life” warmongering GOP bastards.   

Krazy Eyes Kash’s FBI is fearmongering – he sent a warning to local California police about a potential Iranian plan to strike the west coast. Iranian drones have a range of 1,200 to 2,500 miles – a direct flight from Iran to California isn’t happening, even in Pedo’s twisted dreams. Launched from a boat in the Pacific? Also tremendously unlikely. 

Why did Krazy Kash specifically say California would be the target? Maybe because Pedo really hates Newsom. Kash and Pedo are known to create narratives as needed so… 

Iran has begun laying mines in the Strait of Hormuz. 

Prez Pedo, in his usual over-the-top, scenery-chewing, bad dinner theater performance, bellowed that if mines were placed and they are not removed, Iran will face consequences “at a level never before seen.”

OH please! That he honestly believes his own cheesebag, histrionics, that he thinks anyone buys him as some serious, fearsome, strongman, world leader is just desperately sad at this point. It’s not even funny anymore. It’s simply pathetic. Can someone get this decaying old ham OFF the goddamn stage already? His shtick is SO last century!

Prez Clownshit also said that “the Strait of Hormuz is going to remain safe. We have a lot of Navy ships there. We have the best equipment in the world inspecting for mines.”

Ya know what we really need in order to make the Strait safe from all those nasty mines? Minesweepers. We used to have four of those babies in Bahrain – right there in the Persian Gulf. The USS Devastator, the USS Dextrous, the USS Gladiator, and the USS Sentry had been there for 35 years too.

What happened to them? Trump had ‘em decommissioned this past September. Then, despite shit looking tense with Iran in January, Pedo had them moved to Philadelphia for disassembly. There’s now just four Avenger-class ships in active service. They’re based in Sasebo, Japan. Japan…hmmmm. That’s not where the Strait of Hormuz is, now, is it?!

That's right. Not even two months before he attacked Iran, he got rid of four ultra important tools. Dimwit Donny surely isn’t much of a forward thinker, is he? 

Oh but WAIT – our preposterously vain, Nazi tattooed, perma-sozzled Secretary of WARmongering, Makeup Studios, and Bad Acting has some obvious fairy tales to add:

Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth posted on X that at Trump’s direction, US Central Command “has been eliminating inactive mine-laying vessels in the Strait of Hormuz—wiping them out with ruthless precision. We will not allow terrorists to hold the Strait of Hormuz hostage.”

Christ almighty, Kegseth sounds like he’s just stepped off a Monty Python sound stage.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise... surprise and fear... fear and surprise... our two weapons are fear and surprise... and ruthless efficiency... our three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency... and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.

What our rotted rutabaga brained administration didn't expect is that the Iranians would be a bit put out about being bombed, having their loved ones murdered, and their homes, hospitals and businesses destroyed. Huh, go figure.

What I've observed over the course of studying air power in history is that any time you attack a civilian population, you usually end up finding that it just hardens their resolve.
~ U.S. Air Force General Grynkewich, the highest-ranking U.S. commander in Europe testifying in Congress on Thursday.

Gee duh!!!

Iran is pissed. Trump and Netanyahu played them and played them badly.

…we don't see any reason why we should negotiate with the U.S., when we negotiated with them twice, and every time they attacked us, the middle of negotiations.
~ Abbas Araghchi, Iran's Foreign Minister

Dude’s got a solid point. Trump and his band of idiot, power-mad handlers and cowering sycophant yes-men did this. If there’s gonna be boots on the ground in Iran, those brainless White House assholes better be sending ICE. No one will miss those sick fucks. They’ll make the perfect sacrifice to Donnie’s Epstein “Excursion.”

Analysts say speculation from Washington that Iran would quickly submit after the killing of Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei were misguided. (no shit?!)

Tehran is likely going to determine the end of this war, not the US or Israel, because of its ability to inflict economic pain broadly, they say.

Amid a military pummeling by the US and Israel, Iran has launched heavy retaliatory strikes at US assets and other critical infrastructure in Gulf countries, upsetting global supplies. It has also adopted what analysts call “asymmetric” tactics – such as disrupting the critical Strait of Hormuz and threatening US banking-linked entities – to inflict as much economic pain on the region and wider world as it can. (source) 

There’s Persian saying: He who has been bitten by a snake does not trust even a black and white rope.

Yup.

Quackers

The 14 year heroin addict whose brain can’t even keep a worm alive; the man who saws off the heads of whales, dumps dead bear cubs in Central Park, sexually assaults babysitters, takes saunas with skeevy, clapped out, panty-sniffing, has been white rappers while wearing jeans; the freak with absolutely NO medical education or experience who claims vaccines cause autism, anti-depressants are responsible for school shootings, and Wi-Fi causes "leaky brains” – is up to his usual science denying tricks.

He’s appointed vaccine skeptic, Retsef Levi to the CDC Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices. There he'll “review the safety of Covid-19 vaccines.” Levi’s already decided though – there’s not going to be any review. Like Bobby Brainworm, he’s not a supporter of vaccines, no matter what the actual facts say.

Dude claims that “Covid-19 vaccines are the “most failing medical product" in the history of medical products” despite all formal, conclusive research stating the exact opposite.

Levi is a professor at MIT where he teaches Operations Management at the Sloan School of Management. He also does something with Food Chain Supply Analytics. Nothing to do with medicine.

Dr Sharon Alroy-Preis, who served as head of Israel’s public health services during the pandemic, and stepped down from that role earlier this year, told the Guardian she could recall reading a draft of a paper Levi wrote in 2021, which suggested a correlation between Israel’s vaccination rate and emergency calls received by first responders in Israel that involved cardiac arrest.

“We took it very seriously at the ministry of health. We invited him to a meeting to thoroughly look at the research,” she said. “At the meeting it was clear that he was not familiar with the way the data is collected and potential wrong interpretations. What was more troubling: he didn’t seem to care.”

She added: “Having no answers to our professional questions he continued to insist he was right and ‘on to something’. It was clear he came with an agenda.”

Levi did not comment on this specific criticism. (source) 

How’d an anti-science quack get to be a big time tenured professor at MIT in the first place? Seriously.

Naturally, Levi objects and denies that he doesn’t have specific pertinent knowledge and real applicable experience to weigh in on this. Of course he does. He’s a big important guy in a big important job where he’s paid big important money and respected by loads of other big important men. That means he's an expert on everything he imagines. Just like Junior. Right?!

The Guardian asked Levi to address all of these critiques of his work. In response, Levi said in a statement: “The mentioned criticism on my research has been addressed through formal peer-review processes, with all retraction requests, including the one by the Israeli Ministry of Health, denied by Scientific Reports.”

Sure pal.

A spokesperson for HHS said “attacks” on Levi were “clearly politically motivated and ignore his substantial credentials”.

Of course. It’s the fall back position for all substance and fact-free bullies everywhere and that’s what the Republican Party is – a bunch of whiny-ass toddlers who love nothing more than to cry victim the minute anyone calls them out on their weaselly bullshit. 

Levi may have substantial deserved cred within the field of operations management – if so, he should stick to that.

The September Spending Spree of a Serial Killer

Imagine it’s the end of your fiscal year. Your boss tells you there’s $93 billion left in your budget and you’ve got one month to use it or lose it.

What the fuck would you do? $93 billion – man-o-man, that’s a fuckton 'o' clams, innit?

Perpetually Pissdrunk Pete burned through $93 billion in September. And what did he spend all that dough on? Did he use it to improve the lives of the 1.3 million active-duty military, 825,000 National Guard/Reserve, and 600,000 civilians who work for the Department of Defense? 

Well, I don’t know. Let’s look at some of his purchases, shall we?  What'd he buy?    

• A $98,329 Steinway & Sons grand piano for the Air Force chief of staff’s home. 
• He bought a $21,750 custom flute from Muramatsu. For who? Why?
• 400 brand new iPads at $315,200 He couldn’t get Androids? I mean, iPads are great but they are pricey. 
• $3,160 worth of stickers of children's television characters, like Paw Patrol and Dora the Explorer.

Then there’s the food.

• $1 million on salmon
• $2 million for Alaskan king crab
• $6.9 million worth of lobster tail
• $15.1 million for ribeye steak 
• $124,000 for ice cream machines
• $139,224 on 272 orders of doughnuts

Now, I certainly don’t begrudge a little luxury to soldiers going off to hot war zones (IF that’s who're actually getting to enjoy the crab, lobster tail, steak, doughnuts, and ice cream) BUT, just a month later, tens of millions of fellow Americans lost their SNAP benefits in the longest government shutdown in history. 

To which “war zones” were our soldiers deployed in September or October of 2025?

• Chicago’s Operation Midway Blitz (this admin does love these ridiculously hokey titles) but that was primarily ICE – Homeland Security, not Defense. 
• 200 National Guard were sent Portland, Oregon for some odd reason.
• In Memphis, Tennessee:

At least nine National Guard troops began their patrol at the Bass Pro Shops located at the Pyramid, an iconic landmark in Memphis. They were being escorted by a Memphis police officer and posed for photos with visitors who were standing outside.

It was unclear how many Guard members were on the ground or were expected to arrive later. (source)  

Apparently the purpose of the domestic deployments were nothing more than dick swinging, ego flexing, attempts to scare the crap out of us citizens – make us all cower in fear and bow down to Dear Orange Leader.

Didn't work and also, fuck that shit with a rusty steel spork!

There was an actual big troop buildup in the Caribbean but it wasn’t until later in October. Presumably, this was in advance of our attack on/invasion of Venezuela (remember that?).

Anyway, back to Keg Boy’s spending spree.

He spent $225 million on new furniture which included $60,000 for designer reclining chairs, $26,000 for sushi preparation tables, and $12,000 for fruit basket stands. Fruit basket stands? Who the fuck needs fruit basket stands?!!! And $12,000 worth of them???? Of course, this is also the man who had a makeup room built for himself in the Pentagon at a cost to us taxpayers of $40,000. The man should NOT be trusted with someone else’s credit card.

The Center for Strategic and International Studies (CSIS), a bipartisan research institution in Washington, analyzed DOW fact sheets, Congressional Budget Office estimates, and statements from government officials to provide an estimate of wartime costs for the operation thus far. 

The study concluded that the US has spent around $3.7 billion, or $891.4 million a day, on wartime efforts in the first 100 hours of Operation Epic Fury. 

The most significant expense comes from munitions. CSIS estimated that the US spent $3.1 billion on munitions alone, none of which were budgeted for.  (source) 

But Pissdrunk Pete had $93 billion to blow on ice cream machines and fruit basket stands.

Trump burned $5.6 billion on munitions alone in the first two days of his unjustified, unauthorized war—

But they don't have money for your health care.
~ Senator Tammy Duckworth 

Hegseth spent $93 billion in one month – roughly the cost of extending the ACA tax credits for three years.
~ Senator Chuck Schumer

Operation Epstein Fury Day 11

At yesterday’s presser:

Reporter: You said the war is “very complete,” but your defense secretary says “this is just the beginning.” So which is it? 

Pedo the Fool: You can say both.

"You can say both." You’d be a complete nincompoop (and he is) but you could say it.

I guess this is Schrödinger’s war. As long as the cameras stay on him and him alone, it’s over and just beginning at the same time.

Also, he had a call from his big boss Putin yesterday. According to news reports they talked about oil. Putin's foreign affairs adviser Yuri Ushakov described the conversation as "frank and businesslike.” That sounds like absolute bullshit or code for "Putin spoke, dictating marching orders to the orange idiot who sat there, his gaping anus mouth, for once, shut, as he carefully listened."

I’m guessing old Vlad told Pedo to cut the shit, rein in his wackaloon, kill-crazy war secretary or else certain really nasty Ep Isle tapes would find their way onto the internet. But, ya know, don’t stop the war TOO quickly. Since Iran effectively cut off oil and gas exports through the Strait of Hormuz, Russia’s seeing some terribly convenient payoffs.

In order to keep oil flowing, the U.S. and others have lifted restrictions on Russian oil. More money to Russia.

“Putin and his advisors have likely determined that war in Iran serves Russia’s interests in the short term: higher energy prices, global distraction from a Ukraine war that Putin is not ready to settle, and America at risk of entrapment in another Middle Eastern quagmire,” Person says. (Robert Person, nonresident Senior Fellow with the Eurasia Program at the Foreign Policy Research Institute (FPRI), a nonpartisan think tank based in Philadelphia) (source) 

•  Russia and Iran are besties.

•  More money to Russia means more money fueling their war of aggression against Ukraine. 

•  Trump works for Putin (Tulsi too) and has allegedly given Russia intel on Ukraine, hurting Ukraine’s battle to remain free from Russia’s aggression.  

•  U.S. attacks Iran because….something, something, Epstein, Netanyahu-told-me-to, Epstein, gazpacho!  

•  Russia gives intelligence to Iran to help target U.S. military personnel.

•  Agent Pedo had the balls on audacity to ask President Zelenskyy for help in defending against Iranian drones.

Jack Ohman

So then, Zelenskyy helping the U.S. against Russia/Iran is good except, isn’t Russia/Iran and U.S./Israel really the same thing? I mean, the citizens of these countries aren’t but the people in charge – Trump, Putin, Netanyahu, Khomeini and all the assholes propping them up – they’re all the same. The lot of them are nothing more than frozen souled, greedheaded, disgusting,  nightmare barbarians who refuse to die.

Where am I going with this? Operation Epstein Fury isn’t the raging success Pedo hoped it would be – just like his failed Venezuelan invasion, which everyone’s already forgotten about. When will his backers and supporters realize he’s completely played out. Donny Demento's a failure – a really bad investment. A sucker's bet. Isn't everyone on the planet on to him now? The longer he’s propped up, the further the U.S. sinks into utterly despised irrelevancy. Aren't we most of the way there now?

Trump’s gonna have to find a way to make this failed war up to Bibi somehow. Maybe offer him asylum from the War Crimes Commission? He can go live at Trump’s Museum of Bad Plastic Surgery at Mar-a-Lago. That'd be skeevy as fuck but war criminals can't be too choosy, right?

Operation Epstein Fury

Diplomacy was getting too close to eliminating the need for war and Netanyahu, Trump, and his drunk “christian” death dealing Secretery of WAR couldn’t have that!

The day before Operation Epstein Fury began, Al Jazeera reported: 

Iran agreed during indirect talks with the United States never to stockpile enriched uranium, said Oman’s top diplomat, who described the development as a major breakthrough. 

The U.S. attacked anyway. WHY?

Simon Tisdall at The Guardian put it so well: 

Trump’s White House increasingly resembles a madhouse. War aims shift daily. A clueless, rambling president insists he must help pick Iran’s next ayatollah. Meanwhile, his “secretary for war”, Pete Hegseth, rants manically about killing without mercy.

They’re crazier than Don Jr. and Britney Spears tripping on ‘shrooms at a Wonderland tea party and nowhere near as strange and magical. 

In making the case for why the U.S. is no friend to Britain, Tisdall says:

The US (like Russia in Ukraine) has launched an illegal war of aggression against a sovereign state. Its claim of an “imminent” threat is unsupported by evidence. Its armed forces are unrestrained, lacking any rules of engagement.

Well….yes. Definitely. Not playing by the rules — cheating, playing dirty — is how these motherfucking criminals roll. And when I say ”criminals,” I’m including every damn congresscritter, every crooked judge (I’m especially lookin’ at you Thomas, Alito, and Kavenaugh), every MAGAt voter, AND every person who didn’t vote. They all hold responsibility for bringing us and the entire world to Trumpstein Hell.

Pedo, ‘lil Marco, and crazy, serial killer Kegseth planned their big war in, what, three drugged up days in their little blanket fort at Pedo’s Florida roach motel, breakfast buffet, and home for failed plastic surgery experiments? Anyone wonder why it’s not going well? The Orange Anus has already lost interest since it wasn’t an easy win yielding him worshipful applause, gaudy giant gold trophies, and medallions. 

The US is never going to recover from the damage wrought by Trump, the Heritage Foundation, every single enabling on-the-take Republican congresscritter, everyone who voted these assholes in, and all those who didn’t bother to vote. What country would be foolish enough to trust us, to take us at our word, ever again?

Hells bells, World War II ended a bit over 80 years ago and Germany still gets dragged. The bad guys, the evil fucks, the folks who were being “good Germans” are all dead now. So it will be with the US. All the concentration camps where innocent people are currently incarcerated, tortured, neglected, kept in conditions you wouldn’t subject your worst enemy or a rabid coyote to, where people are dying for the "crime" of having more melanin than Stephen Miller or JDouche Vance — they will all be multiple decades in the past; seen only in history books (hopefully), before our nation’s crimes aren't the very first thing that comes to mind when you hear "United States." 

Collectively, we deserve that. The US won’t be trusted again and we shouldn’t be. We let a ridiculously obvious conman, a multi-count felon, a man with a well deserved horrific reputation, bamboozle his way into the White House. Not just once but TWICE. Yeah, he had help from Musk and the rest of the billionaire bandits but we should have seen this coming and prepared.

We're a nation of used car salesmen, carnival hustlers, marks, rubes and complacent lambs. We need heroes — more smart fighters like Jasmine Crockett, AOC, Maxwell Frost, Al Green, Jamie Raskin, Gerry Connolly, Zohran Mamdani, Tim Walz, Elizabeth Warren, Ilhan Omar, to name just a few.

In My Head

From The Halfway Cafe: 

Local MAGA fans say their brains “feel scrambled” because Russia is straight up giving Iran intelligence about American targets to bomb, but also Trump and Vance hate Ukraine and won’t say anything to criticize Putin, but also now the US is desperate for Ukrainian drone technology to prevent cheap Iranian drones from wasting all our super expensive missiles, but Trump is also blaming Zelensky for low defense munition stockpiles even though Trump has repeatedly screwed Ukraine over and cut off US funding, and say, “I wish Fox News would just tell us what to think, but even they seem to be befuddled!”
     ~~~
Local MAGA fans admit they’re struggling to wrap their heads around how Trump needs help from Ukraine, a country he hates, to destroy drones from Iran, a country he ripped up a peace deal with, guided by intelligence from Russia, a country he loves, in a war started by Israel, a country with obvious blackmail over him.
~~~
Found on Threads and I’m in totally agreement:
You know what sucks?  I'm more worried that our own government will attack us here, on our own soil, and blame it on Iran, than I am about Iran actually attacking us.  

This is where we are now.
~~~
A Dad joke walks into a bar…

When does a joke become a dad joke ? When the punchline becomes apparent.

🚔 🚔 🚔
Heisenberg and Schrödinger get pulled over for speeding. 

The officer asks Heisenberg, "Do you know how fast you were going?" 

Heisenberg replies, "No, but we know exactly where we are!" 

The confused officer says, "You were going 200 kilometres an hour!" 

Heisenberg throws his arms up and cries, "Great! Now we're lost!" 

The officer looks over the car and asks Schrödinger if the two men have anything in the trunk. 

"A cat," Schrödinger replies. The officer opens the trunk and yells, "Hey! This cat is dead." 

Schrödinger angrily replies, "Well, he is now!”
🎄 🎄 🎄
A thousand Christmas tree lights walk into a bar. 

Bartender says "OMG, why are so many of you here tonight?"

The Christmas tree lights say, "Well, you know...when one of us goes out, we all go out.”

🦜 🦜 🦜
Guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. 

The bartender says, "Hey, buddy, you can't bring that disgusting, filthy, smelly animal in here!" 

Parrot says, "I have to. he's my ride."
🦆 🦆 🦆
A man and a woman were walking down the street.

The man walked into a bar. 

The woman ducked.
🏴‍☠️ 🏴‍☠️ 🏴‍☠️
A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender notices that he has a steering wheel shoved down the front of his pants. He asks the pirate what’s up with that steering wheel shoved down the front of his pants. 

The pirate says “Aaargh, it’s drivin’ me nuts.”
🐓 🐓 🐓
Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip? 

To get to the other… eh? Hang on!
🦗 🦗 🦗
A grasshopper walks into a bar. 

Bartender says "hey we have a drink named after you!" 

Grasshopper says "You have a drink named Bob?"
💧 💧 💧
A science lecturer and a student walk into a bar. 

The scientist says to the barman: "Can I have a glass of H20?" 

The barman hands over the drink and the lecturer walks away. 

Wanting to fit in, the student says to the barman: 

"I'll have a glass of H20 too." His funeral is tomorrow.

⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
Have you heard the one about Orion's belt? It's a giant waist of space.
...Sorry. It's a terrible pun. I give it 3 stars.
But the follow up is stellar.
⚛ ⚛ ⚛
Two hydrogen atoms were walking down the street. 

The first says to the second, "I think I've lost an electron". 

The second atom asks, "you sure?" 

First one replies, "yeah, I'm positive"
😁 😁 😁
Why won’t cannibals eat comedians? They taste funny.

Yur welcome.