Reality

For as strange as I may be, I don’t have dementia. As far as I know I’m not necessarily prone to get it either. Neither my parents or grandparents had it. I only knew my father’s parents though—my mother’s died when she was a teen. Grandmother Angelina died at the hands of neurofibromatosis type 2—what I have. I have no idea what my grandfather Donato died of.

Dementia is not a disease itself. It's a collection of symptoms that result from damage to the brain caused by different diseases, such as Alzheimer's. These symptoms vary according to the part of the brain that is damaged.

Common early symptoms of dementia
Different types of dementia can affect people differently, and everyone will experience symptoms in their own way.
However, there are some common early symptoms that may appear some time before a diagnosis of dementia. These include:

• memory loss.
• difficulty concentrating.
• finding it hard to carry out familiar daily tasks, such as getting confused over the correct change when shopping.
• struggling to follow a conversation or find the right word.
• being confused about time and place.
• mood changes. (source)

Mind you, dementia isn’t necessarily passed down. We can all come down with it. Also, these early symptoms can be normal responses to being stressed beyond belief. Fer instance, in the run-up to Tuesday’s election, I’m experiencing all of these and more to some degree.

I really don’t need dementia on top of all my NF2 bullshit.

I found this list on Shoutyface—it's particularly kind and on point.

1. If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality.

2. If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.

3. If I get dementia, don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.

4. If I get dementia, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.

5. If I get dementia, and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.

6. If I get dementia, and I am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.

7. If I get dementia, I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am.

8. If I get dementia, I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends.

9. If I get dementia, ask me to tell you a story from my past.

10. If I get dementia, and I become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me.

11. If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated.

12. If I get dementia, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. Even now if I don’t eat I get angry, and if I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.

13. If I get dementia, don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.

14. If I get dementia, don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you, or choose a great new place for me to live.

15. If I get dementia, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.

16. If I get dementia, don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.

17. If I get dementia, make sure I always have my favorite music playing within earshot.

18. If I get dementia, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original place.

19. If I get dementia, don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.

20. If I get dementia, know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.

21. If I get dementia, remember that I am still the person you know and love.

Obviously #17 won’t work for me. I did this for The Amazing Bob in his last days. Jen and I set up a boom box in his hospital room and spun his favorite jazz.

#11—treat me the way that you would want to be treated. This, and so many of the other tips, are just good, basic advice for being a sentient human on the planet.