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Saturday, February 18, 2012

Funny Face

YES, these are the 'before' pics -- sheesh.
What the hell am I doing here! What’s with all the more funny than usual faces?

I began physical therapy to help rectify some of the facial paralysis crap I have going on as a result of my last big brain job. Barker (Neuro Surgeon Man) and McKenna (Neurotology Surgeon Man) are in there fooling with that densely packed bundle of nerves -- the ones which effect sight sound -- you know,  important crap. Since medical science hasn’t yet attained Dr. McCoy or Crusher’s healing ray thing, well, they’re stuck carving it old school. Sorta, kinda, really.

I really don’t have it bad at all. In fact, odds are, unless you knew to look for it, you might not notice that one of my eyes is a wee bit different than the other and my lips aren’t all symmetrical.

So why bother with the physical therapy? I’m not the type who has to have everything all lined up, ironed and perfect -- hell, I’m a T-shirt, jeans and, at best, comb through the hair kind of gal -- so, what’s up.

This. I can’t drink out of most cups (soft flexible plastic ones only) without using a straw. Imagine this, I sidle up to the bar and order my usual -- a Sapphire Martini, extra, extra dry, straight up with olives....and a straw. Or feature this, I always have to have a napkin at hand to dab my mouth while eating -- that veggie casserole, mushroom/broccoli pizza and/or cake doesn’t always stay in the mouth while I’m in mastication heaven. Great, now I’m hungry. Oh yeah and I occasionally drool but I don’t know I’m doing it since the left side of my face is almost completely numb. Joy, joy, joy. And totally romantic and sexy too, n'est-ce pas?

These, seriously, just amount to annoyances and occasions for laughter (my own that is -- if I can’t laugh about this, why the hell did I get Nf2 in the first place, hmmmm?) but my new neurologist, Dr. Plotkin, (Dr. O, AKA god, having moved on to the big OR in the sky) seemed really keen on me doing this so, here I am. Alright AND it seemed like a good idea to me too.

Problem though, some of the exercises have left me with screaming headaches so, naturally, I quit doing them. I really hate/profoundly abhor leaving challenges unmet, not scaling that mountain, allowing life’s steamroller to flatten me, not getting to the bottom of that martini glass...oh wait...maybe that last bit’s not so key.

Back to the physical therapist with this challenge for me -- how do I achieve my goal (strawless martinis and no-drool romantic evenings) without intense pain.

I’m reminded of one of the ‘calls’ we used back in my carnie days -- “you can’t win if you don’t play.”

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