Pre-hurled Salesweaseldom

Though it might lay dormant for a week, even a month here or there, it’s never gone — it never stops. It's inescapable.

What?

Death? Taxes? Gwyneth and Chris? Miley Cyrus? Right Wing Outrage/Scandal du jours?

Well...em...yes, yes, yes, yes and of course BUT what I’m referring to is spam. We get it in our email (Beat the Battle of the Bulge! Viagra, Cialis, Xanax, No Prescription Needed!, Penis Enlarge Patch), windows pop up while we’re reading some mag or newspaper on line and, hell’s, we still get the original spam via snail mail — junk mail.

It’s unavoidable.

Spammer—Someone who makes the most of their advanced technological knowledge to place advertisements online without having to pay any costs.

Here at Tell Me A Story, we get loads, scads, a veritable shit ton of the stuff. Happily, nearly every shred of this very annoying canned, pre-hurled ad product is caught in Bloggers bodacious dross filters and sent into the Spam folder. Every few days I go in, have a laugh and delete.

The other evening I noticed there were a goodly number of people viewing your faithful scribe’s scribblings — AWESOME. However, every single, damned viewer was pinging on the very same post — the recent, most fav of the sub-sub-basement level stumblebum, marketeer salesweasels. Mustang Donna. 

Sigh.

I’ve found, since becoming a blog queen, that most weasels work off a script book.

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This seems to be stock spammage #1: ‘I don't even understand how I ended up here,’ If I replied, I would of course need to start with "well, we were at this party, had a little too much to drink and...."

 Also too, "this post was once good?" What? Just once?! Second time you read it, you fell asleep?

When I initially commented I appear to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on whenever a comment is added I get 4 emails with the same comment. Is there a way you are able to remove me from that service? Thanks a lot! Also visit my web blog; candy crush saga cheat

Stock spammage #2 and, I only mention it but I don't have a check box like that. Just sayin’ man.

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Stock spammage #3. Seriously, " this weekend is fastidious in support of me" I see this opening line all the damn time. Word to the unwise — try a different translator app. You're using the one that converts into Wasilla Wingnut Wonder speak and NO ONE understands that.

Sometimes these cavern dwelling dolts don’t bother with the kissy face or ever-so-helpful tips and advice. Nope they go straight into their spiel.

Selecting the most effective live sex cams website can be quite a bit challenging occasionally. When you enhance it creative lighting and evocative facial expressions, then you've got a sexy photo although the skin showed could be PG or perhaps G in nature. And really, I don't personally enjoy 20 min of patent leather shoe noises'.

This is a new one. Second sentence is in the language of the Snowbillies but I'm lovin' that last line.

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¿qué? M'thinks dudebro needs to check his work better OR just cut and paste like his fellow basement dwelling Willy Lomans.

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His/her cut and pasted shtick droned on dully for a 150 or more words. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Dunno what he/she was hypin' but figure it's safe to assume there was sex involved at some point.

Here we have stock spammage #4 but with a twist!

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Complimentary and pretty — BEST Spam EVAH!