Teach

One of the great things to pretend is that you're not only alright, you're in great shape. Now to have that come true - I've actually gone on stage depressed and that's worked its magic on me, 'cause if I can convince you that I'm alright, then maybe I can convince me.
~ Carrie Fisher

Back when I was the training director at a large-ish, local print shop, back in my hearing days, I had similar experiences. I couldn’t cancel a days’ class simply because I was feeling lower than a conger eel slumming in the Mariana Trench. Neither could I get in front of the class with an  Eeyore on 'ludes 'tude.

What to do? What to do?

Pretend. Like Roy Scheider in All That Jazz  (sans the dexies  thenkyew very much), I’d pull myself up to my full five feet, five inches, straighten my skirt and charge into the classroom. I’d give everyone a big ol’ howdy and start quizzing them:

Which store/location do you work at?
How long you been with the company?
Where’d ya work before?
Which part of town you live — do ya like it there?

and then:

Today, mon ami, we’re gonna learn ALL about the wonderful world of paper!

My high speed energy was, possibly, obnoxious as all hell — especially at nine AM on a Monday — BUT it beat all hell out of having some sad Dismal Donna standing there saying OK class, for the next eight hours you will learn how to buy and price out various substrates using lots of long algebraic equations.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
It's extraordinarily hard to grasp complex info when the teach is rockin’ a solid monotone and has the presence of a killer fog bank.

Class size was small (rarely more than ten) which was awesome+ for how I liked to run a course. There’d always be tons of Q&A — that is, I’d ask the students to think, to imagine what might come next and tell me. If they could reason things out, find the right paths for themselves (with clues and a bit of nudging from me) they’d retain the info a hell of a lot longer than if I just stood in front of them lecturing. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

So, the students learned and enjoyed the experience as much as they could. Me? Presenting a seminar, a session was a blast and a half and ALWAYS pulled me out of whatever sad hole I was in. Always.

Best job EVAH!

Why/how did it go bye bye?

Eh, the company where I worked hit an iceberg, was bought and heavily downsized. The training department was eliminated (I was retained but in secretarial and then prepress roles) and then my hearing went down in flames.

I know that I could still teach, even though I’m deaf now. My lipreading is pretty solid AND there are ways around communication hurdles. White boards, just fer example.

Sadly though, the print industry is a significantly smaller place than it was ten years ago.  There’s not much, if any, call for a Red Hot Print Empress (the title I totes should have had) instructor type anymore.

Hmmm, maybe it’s time to begin exploring other options. Teaching art to deaf kids maybe?