On This Day

On this day last year, The Amazing Bob, Oni and I went in for an appointment with TAB’s cancer doc. It was the beginning of the end. Actually, on that day – one year ago – we did have a temp ending. The brill ER team brought him back from death's nasty-ass grip – I had one final week with my amazing, wonderful soul mate.

I’ve been in pieces – a zillion of them. They’re all sharp edged and wet with tears.

I said to Jen last night, this is it – he’s really not coming back, is he? Makes no sense but, on some subatomic level – beneath consciousness – I always thought I’d see him again. This first anniversary of Insane Trauma Day puts paid to that silly, not so veiled hope.

I’d plans for this morning – Felicity and I would visit the ICA and then the Society of Arts and Crafts. I had an appointment with Janis set for this afternoon. Driving into town, being social or at all coherent feels well beyond me now. I believe I’ll spend today, here at home, with my gorgeous old kitten, watching Star Trek and Star Wars, snarfing popcorn and remembering some of our good times  (and there were a TON of those).

Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain.
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend,
But I always thought that I'd see you again.
~ James Tayor