I'm with Ogden

Me and Doctor Coco

I’m REALLY looking forward to the days when, once again, simple shit like feeding the cats, loading the dishwasher, making dinner and doing a little sweeping don’t exhaust me.

It’s this damn cold. The fucker’s intensity is greatly reduced BUT it’s hangin’ in. ASSHOLE!

When in the midst of illin’ it feels as though I’ll never again have energy. I won’t ever have clear sinuses and my head will forever be crammed with mildewed, soggy wool.

While I AM on the mend, I can’t help but feel a deep kinship with the truth telling, eloquent Mister Ogden Nash.

COMMON COLD

Go hang yourself, you old M.D.!
You shall not sneer at me.
Pick up your hat and stethoscope,
Go wash your mouth with laundry soap;
I contemplate a joy exquisite
I'm not paying you for your visit.
I did not call you to be told
My malady is a common cold.

By pounding brow and swollen lip;
By fever's hot and scaly grip;
By those two red redundant eyes
That weep like woeful April skies;
By racking snuffle, snort, and sniff;
By handkerchief after handkerchief;
This cold you wave away as naught
Is the damnedest cold man ever caught!

Give ear, you scientific fossil!
Here is the genuine Cold Colossal;
The Cold of which researchers dream,
The Perfect Cold, the Cold Supreme.
This honored system humbly holds
The Super-cold to end all colds;
The Cold Crusading for Democracy;
The Führer of the Streptococcracy.

Bacilli swarm within my portals
Such as were ne'er conceived by mortals,
But bred by scientists wise and hoary
In some Olympic laboratory;
Bacteria as large as mice,
With feet of fire and heads of ice
Who never interrupt for slumber
Their stamping elephantine rumba.

A common cold, gadzooks, forsooth!
Ah, yes. And Lincoln was jostled by Booth;
Don Juan was a budding gallant,
And Shakespeare's plays show signs of talent;
The Arctic winter is fairly coolish,
And your diagnosis is fairly foolish.
Oh what a derision history holds

Today’s goals are modest. A few leg strengthening exercises, a walk across the street to the seawall and I’m gonna TRY to drive my power steering-free car – see if I’ve the strength for that. I recall the car salesman advising me, as though this was a dealbreaker, Ya know, it doesn’t have power steering. I replied that this was actually preferable as it’d be the only arm exercise I’d get (not true but CLOSE!).

I promised Jen AND my visiting nurse that, on this maiden voyage, I’d go VERY slow and ONLY drive around my very quiet neighborhood.

Hmmph. Fine. I’ll be good….for now!