Flat Earth

Our UNscenic drive yesterday

I think we spent eight...maybe nine years driving through flat and treeless rural Indiana and Ohio yesterday. The northern parts of both states make the grasslands of eastern Oregon look varied and practically mountainous. //grumble, grumble, grumble//

I’m sure there really are lovely little towns, beautiful lakes and maybe even a nice forest tucked away when you leave the throughway. The town name of Elyria fer instance – it sounds absolutely poetic. BUT I was in no mood to stop and explore. Hells bells, that’d mean more time driving. AND more time spent in state which helped to elect the Republi/Fascist Democracy Destroyer In Chief (yes, I DO seem to hold grudges against entire states). Also too, I’d really like to get home to my damn cat AND cozy cottage by the sea sometime this year. Ya know?

I’m aware (HONEST!) that there are good folk and good parts to both Indiana and Ohio BUT by the eighth hour of 2x4 straight flat roads, the dreary, colorless sameness was making me mega cranky. Also too, those interesting parts aren’t in the northern part of either state – not so’s I noticed anyway.

I woulda killed for just ONE little forest covered mountain.
Even a snow draped one!

I’ve seen some gorgeous wooded countryside in southern Indiana. I know it exists. Also too, despite electing Dense Pence to the governorship, there are some liberals in the state.

An aside—the Hoosier Dense One doesn’t trust himself to NOT rape so he never dines with a woman alone. Could be that he’s afraid of BEING raped by all those licentious babes – ya know, the ones who are just SO smitten by his boring Ken doll looks and theoretical charms. He also will not go anyplace where booze is on tap unless his wife is with him. Apparently his brain is located south of his belt buckle and "Mother" is his human chastity belt. He’s one spectacularly egregious example of humanity and so damn typical of his entire Republi/Fascist party.

Flyover country – There ARE solid reasons why vast swaths of the once good ol’ US of A are thought of as such. Hidden gems exist BUT they’re, ya know, HIDDEN on top of being really motherfucking hard to get to. Fer instance, we could’ve gone to see the gorgeous Corkscrew Falls in Hocking Hills State Park BUT that would’ve added six hours of driving to our trip. We’re so close to home and I’m NOT keen on adding an additional six damn hours THROUGH FLAT FARMLAND for a waterfall. Nope. Sorry.

I may've mentioned this before – I totes need a transporter beam. I wanna bypass the flat, treeless parts and go straight to the gold.

This morning Ten and I are in Western Pennsylvania where there are trees and mountains. YEA and PHEW!