I Try

For certain segments of this planet’s human population, I will never be good, smart or pure enough – not politically, intellectually, emotionally or socially.

That’s cool. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion of yurs truly and, frankly, if you’ve not made an effort to walk a mile in my Chuck Taylor’s, I don’t really give a flying fuck what you think of me.

I believe that I’ve always tried to be kind. I make, to my mind, strong efforts to walk the walk in another’s Vans (as much as that’s possible) and do my best to bin the all too easily made assumptions.

Here’s the thing – I can do my damn best to see life through your specs and, after much thought, I may still disagree on whatever point you’re presenting.

What’s key – more important than always being in agreement – is listening with an open mind and heart. I will never understand anyone who is different from me if I don’t observe and listen. We are all exceptionally unique flowers.

Take Deaf World fer example – I’m deaf but not Deaf. What’s that mean?

A capital “D” is used to indicate that a person is part of the Deaf community and has grown up in that culture. It tells people that you’re fine with and happy to be audiologically deaf and you are also involved in the Deaf Community. (source) 

I am audiologically deaf versus Deaf. I relate best to other late sensorineural deafened adults, specifically those who also have my same rare-ass disease – Neurofibromatosis Type 2. Even amongst my wee family of fellow Nf2ers, I’m unique with my extra added fun tribe of spinal tumors.

I belong to a  Facebook groups for Nf2ers. I expected this would give me a sense of belonging, a club of sorts. Nope. Most folks are relative newbies to Nf2 – they talk about the specific size of their acoustic neuromas (versus its position relative to the surrounding nerves. This is just as, if not more, important). Invariably god is mentioned, praised and thanked. Despite our shared tumorness, this ain’t my clan. I continue to scan the posts though.

Why? I want to see and understand other’s experiences.

I’ll never, in my very DNA, know what it’s like to grow up as anything other than a lower middle class, Italian/Irish American, constantly on the move, daughter of a math teacher. This is one reason that I read – I WANNA know what life outside Donnaville is like. I’m also forever asking friends and acquaintances indelicate, overly personal questions. I TRY to be delicate but, ya know, me and subtle aren’t really on speaking terms.

Fer instance, I know a mixed race couple – Black and White. One of their sons is in the process of becoming their daughter (I’m, doubtless, wording this wrong! Somebody PLEASE tell me how that sentence should read!). I want to know how father, mother and emergent daughter feel, what they’re experiencing and what kind of card or gift should I send? Flowers? Chocolates? A gift card to Vicky's? I’ve invited – NOT badgered! – them to tell me a story but, ya know,  not everyone’s an inveterate over-sharer like yurs truly.

John Scalzi’s blog post Straight White Male: The Lowest Difficulty Setting There Is comes to mind. Specifically the line:

You can lose playing on the lowest difficulty setting. The lowest difficulty setting is still the easiest setting to win on. The player who plays on the “Gay Minority Female” setting? Hardcore.

GodDAMN, I love Mister Scalzi

I wish I could interview the world and share everyone’s story