Randomosity

OK, a couple last Bill Bryson bits.

In his travel book Notes From a Small Island, he asks:

‘Do you know the difference between a village and a hamlet? It’s quite simple really: One is a place where people live and the other is a play by Shakespeare.’

Yup, you’ll find exactly that in Webster’s.

Elsewhere, he had an incredibly rude experience with a group of elderly retired military types on one of his train trips.

It was really just one clueless, entitled twatzilla of a couple. The wife couldn’t stop herself (nor did she try) from ranting about all the things she despised about America and Americans. Mind you, I could fill a book on that myself (who of us couldn’t?) but, like everywhere, there’s good to offset the narcissistic, Lilliputian brained, stupendously, willfully boorish and ignorant motherfuckers.

'The colonels were all shortish, round men with tweedy jackets, well-slicked silvery hair, an outwardly gruff manner that concealed within a heart of flint, and, when they walked, a rakish limp. Their wives, lavishly rouged and powdered, looked as if they had just come from a coffin fitting.'

Those are beautifully crafted descriptive sentences. This group is now wandering through my bean in sharp focus. Also, I’m reminded of a quip by Garrison Keillor—Never insult a writer. You may find yourself immortalized in ways you may not appreciate. Not that I imagine the offending, privileged couple would ever read anything that challenges their firmly held world views.
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Enkindle
verb (used with or without object)
to kindle into flame, ardor, activity, etc.

n.b., this is NOT a verb referring to your new e-reader and how you now become utterly lost in thousands of books. It should be.

e.g., I enkindled three of Bryson’s offerings last week alone—barely came up for tea. This week, I believe I’ll enkindle Tom Holt.
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I’ve probably already mentioned this BUT a sure way to know that a Tweeter is a truly sad, desperate for attention whore (not to diss whores!) is when they begin their twit with:

Who else thinks______
Who agrees______
Raise your hand if______
Retweet if______
Does anyone else______
I don’t know who needs to hear this but______

They're just begging for large numbers of likes and comments.

And then there are the folks who announce that:

It’s my birthday and I’m all alone (followed by a plea for bday wishes).

A) Maybe it really is this person’s bday, maybe they really are flying solo and sad.
B) Maybe I’m just cynical and always looking for the grift.

If A is the case—I’m sorry and want to advise the poor lonely soul to see a therapist and explore the possible reasons they’re an adult without friends. Also, I’d suggest they get a dog, join a book club, take belly dancing group lessons, take classes at the local adult learning center. Do something!
If B—get therapy to deal with this passive/aggressive desperate horseshit.

My father/mother/dog died and I’m all alone...

Wow! If true and not a manipulative I-need-cheap-attention-NOW schtick that’s some truly dismal reality action. Again, I’d recommend therapy to deal with the loss AND get to the bottom of the friendlessness. I know we’re locked into COVID World but there’s gotta be Zoomed adult classes, masked volunteer options.
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Last night we watched the first ep of The Shannara Chronicles. While the sets and filming were astounding, the target audience is clearly junior high/middle school girls. Fairies, elves, trolls abound and everyone is beautiful (except the trolls) in a non-bleach blonde/Fox ‘news’ kind of way. It’s visually impressive. Very. The story line though? Not so much. One show in and it was obvious how everything was gonna turn out—the warrior-ish princess would end up with the not-terriby-bright-but-nontheless-good-looking-and-plucky-serf. They’d meet cute, go steady and fight evil demons together.

Adorable.

My only other complaint is that everyone, particularly the girls, were too thin. WAY! Alright, one more—where were the adult women? Are women forced to go all Logan’s Run at 30? No, we won't be watching this one again.

That's it for Monday. Hope your day is gorgeous!