Huh?

The first thing I see, on opening my Kindle, is a static ad for a book—usually a different ad each time. I’m used to online based-on-your-browsing-history marketing. It makes perfect sense to see plugs for the latest by Bill Bryson, Richard Kadrey, Carl Hiaasen, etc. What do I see more often than not? It isn’t sci fi or creepy urban fantasy, not travel, history or bios either. Nope, I get ads for romance novels.

The cover art is always of shirtless, serious, six pack ab white dudes and/or slim, serious and thoughtful white dudettes with flowing blonde hair (ranging anywhere from straw to strawberry).

n.b. there’s apparently no place for humor and wit in love affair. I guess I've been doing this shit all wrong.

None of these cover models is a day over 29 years of age. Ever! Their looks scream mainstream, popular-in-high-school bland.

The books MAY be well written but how would I ever know? The art makes the target audience poundingly clear. They're white (I may have mentioned that already), middle to upper class, healthy and always coloring-inside-the-social-lines.

Age-wise, the jacket illustrations will pull in young teen readers hoping for titillating sex scenes, middle aged housewives in need of a thrill and/or grandmothers wanting to relive their cheerleader/baton twirling, dating glory days. Em, that ain't me babes. (duh)

In choosing this sort of art, the marketeers have made it abundantly clear that, not only will the product NOT appeal to me, they don’t even want me to buy it. OK fine BUT, with this cheese-oid art, they’re reducing the perception of the author’s work to formulaic schlock. Maybe the author’s the next Jane (Austin or Eyre), possibly an Isabel Allende or Emily Brontë? I’ll never know, will I? 

Unsurprising but amusing, I found a site which gives tips and guidelines for creating bodice ripper covers.

When creating a romance book cover, the first thing to consider is sincerity — the cover must be crystal-clear about its genre and content.
That’s why it’s quite difficult to find a romance book without

• a couple of people hugging, snugging, and touching
• a particularly handsome/pretty individual with a passionate look upon their face

Also too, ya gotta know your audience.

• 84% of romance readers are women
• 59% of the audience is part of a couple (fun fact: “romance readers are more likely to be married or living with a partner than a general population”)
• Usually, the age of a reader is 30-54 years
• The romance literature audience is very loyal, with 6% buying more than one book every week and 15% at least once a week
  

Fancy a career as a romance scribbler? You wanna be the next Nora Roberts, Danielle Steel or Johanna Lindsey? There’s a site to help you get started with that too. 

These sites seem to be primarily aimed at the self publishing crowd. Makes sense—this, particularly in COVID times, is/has become big biz.

Looking specifically at self-published romance authors, their median income in 2017 was $10,050, which is almost five times higher than the next highest genre. (source)

The more professionally turned out you are, the more bucks you can haul in.

Which, somehow, brings me back to the new Kindle. I expect, at some point, the marketing algorithm will smarten up and start suggesting more appealing authors and titles. You know, spaceships, monsters and shit.

Maybe.