Five Easy Pieces

I was looking at an article which noted five things to do each morning in order to be happier. Who doesn’t want to be happier?

I read the post. Those five daily to-dos?

1) Pick a wellness habit, then link it to an a.m. ritual you already have.
Wellness habit? Ya mean, besides taking my 50 bazillion morning meds, bathing, brushing my teeth and going for a walk? I know, I’ll wedge in four of my balance exercises between dental hygiene and getting dressed.

Balance rehab exercises are slow and meditative (if painful). A lot of overlap with yoga. That’s a wellness thing, right?

2) Get your phone out of your room.
No can do. Given that I’m deaf, I rely on the phone as my primary way of receiving communication.

Having said that, on waking, I check my calendar, email, the weather and the news. I should leave off reading the news until AFTER I’ve had more of a chance to ease into the day.

3) Talk to yourself...
NOT a problem—I’m my own best audience, cheerleader and, sadly, most severe critic. BUT the author says it’s way better, more effective to talk to yourself in the third person.

“If you use your own name in your self-talk, you’re more likely to follow cognitive advice,” Zucker explained.

There’s no link to or mention of a peer reviewed study where the dude gets this. I’m gonna write creepy third person-ing off as not strictly necessary.

Question—who DOESN’T talk to themselves (out loud or just in their head)???

4) Talk with others (people with whom you have a positive relationship)
Yeah, between Ten, Jen, Oni and Cake, I’m all set on the positive-people morning chit-chats.

5) Incorporate gratitude.
Okay, this just sounds like 99 kinds of condescending self-help influencer pablum. Ya know, light-some-incense, crank-Enya-up-to-10, say-a-prayer-to-Republican-white-Jesus-and-be-thankful-for-your-minimum-wage-McDonald’s-gig.

Yes, yezzzz I’m perhaps being a bit harsh. The Buzzfeed author isn’t necessarily saying forget all your troubles you ignorant peasants—just be happy you have that crust of stale wonder bread and a cuppa two day old, burnt gas station coffee.

Here’s the thing—I’m able to multitask (just like most other folks). When I roll outta the rack, I’m thrilled to itty bitty bits that I can stand AND walk to the can ON MY OWN. (After having spent a couple years NOT able to do this, I can honestly say, this will never get old) At the same time, I can dread the early commute into MGH, my shower (which still counts as exercise), the strength and balance building walk I MUST take and whatever else is lurking malignantly in my bean.

An aside—my daily walk is different from a lovely leisurely stroll. With every step, I’m hyper focused on staying upright, my foot placement, length of stride, posture, picking my feet up/not shuffling, etc. A walk along the seawall sounds mellow and relaxing...it is and it most def isn't.

Is gratitude now no more than a self-help buzzword? I mean...sure, it’s always good to view the big picture. Life can be overwhelming, maybe even a total shit stew—it’s smart and resourceful though, to keep in mind all the bits that AREN’T sucking Bantha wang.

Why bother getting out of bed if all I see in front of me is a stinky Poop Parade? How will I manage to keep fighting the good fight if all my fuel’s spent in dismal negativity?

What am I grateful for today?

• The heatwave has passed
• Jen, Oni and I will have tea and Star Trek later this afternoon
• Ten made me a glorious bagel sammich for brekkie
• My back doesn’t hurt this morning and my essential tremors are less intense
• Cheeto got a lovely reception at the sportsball game in Iowa yesterday
  
• DeathSantis too

Also

• Chocolate drizzled macaroons and cuppycakes.