Day of the Hump

 I read that someone named Toby Keith died recently. Apparently he was some cowboy hat wearing, pro-lynching, warmongering, mysoginistic country singer.

As you may already know, though I’ve loved a wildly broad range of musical genres, I’ve always despised country “music.” What’s to like about twangy love songs to pickup trucks and guns, self pitying poor-sad-me (and my dog) laments and all the two-dimensional, cheap, RAH-RAH-USA-USA jingoism? Nothing, that’s what.

Urban Dictionary has a half a dozen or so useful entries on Keith. Here are a few:

Untalented country douchebag who saw a vast untapped market in making CDs full of songs exploiting American troops and advocating extreme nationalism and selling them to uninformed, (un)educated assholes...

Toby Keith is a country music star. He is very famous. He is also an idiot. Like most xenophobic red neck assholes he is cashing in on the horrible tragedies currently involving the United States of America and militant and radical Islam.

see cock gobbler
also see ass muncher
hey ya'll, waatch mee steeck theeis lizard skein boot up ma' ass.

So, he died relatively young (62) of stomach cancer. That’s a shame (for some…I guess).

I’m thinking ice cream for breakfast—how about you?
~~~
Ten and I are headed into Mass Eye and Ear Infirmary shortly. I’m having my annual checkup in the Neuro Ophthalmology department. This’ll consist of a slew of different annoying tests—my pupils will be dilated and the doc will leave the bulk of the actual exam to his residents. Then he'll come in to say a quick hello after a dramatic show of skimming their notes.

It’s become clear to me that he’s not engaged or, possibly, even interested in me as a patient. Fer fuck’s sake, there’s so much wrong with my system, I’m a goddamn goldmine to neurology medics! That is IF you’re still intellectually invested in neurology. Maybe his mind is on the golf course?

Of my entire MGH/MEEI pit crew, he’s my least favorite. Why not switch? He’s the department’s director, the big kahuna. I asked my cornea specialist (who I adore) about this. She strongly advised me to stick with him because he does all these tests which aren’t done in her department. Yes, I see her point but if the dude’s not really focusing on me and my results, what’s the point? If he seems as out of touch today as he’s been in the past, I’m going to request that he hand me off to another neuro-oph who has a greater ability to focus.

I’m already deaf—I will NOT risk my motherfucking sight!