Ain't Life Grand

High Top Sneakers worn by Jon Provost
in the role of Timmy on TV Series Lassie,
National Museum of American History

I’m Back-In-My-Day years old now.

When I was in grade school we didn’t have sneakers with velcro closures. NO, we had shoelaces like god intended AND we had to learn how to securely tie them too.

Also, wearing sneakers to school? Pfffft! We had uniform shoes! They were either saddle shoes or black Mary Janes PERIODT!

When I was in elementary school we didn’t have iPhones or iPads. We didn’t use laptops in junior high or high school either. Hells bells, the very first laptop didn’t hit the market until after I graduated from college!

Developed by Adam Osborne in April 1981, the Osborne I was the first truly portable computer and was recognized as the first true laptop computer. It weighed 24½-pounds and had a 5” display. (source)

Ya know what was a really big deal back in my school days? Those four ink colors pens—blue, green, red and black all in ONE pen. WOW! COOL!

When I was in college (in the late ‘70s—christ, I sprouted three more grey hairs just thinking about how many years it’s been) weed was illegal EVERYWHERE. Penalties, back then, were all over the damn place. It depended on where you lived, how rich and well connected your daddy was and, of course, how much melanin you rocked. Check out the spreadsheet (page 110, Table IV-4) for the 1977 state laws and penalties.

Fer instance:

Richard DeLisi is a 71 year old man serving a 90-year sentence in Florida at the South Bay Correctional Facility (SBCF) for marijuana. Richard has no history of violence and has been in prison since 1989 – 31 years. (source)

GW Bush was busted for cocaine possession (not weed!) in 1972, but had his record magically expunged. Mr. DeLisi clearly lacked connections, unlike the 43rd president of the United States. Gee, ain’t life grand for those born into the aristocracy.
Back to me, me, me—in my little college town it was easy to score AND my dealer delivered and let me sample the product before purchasing. Way back then, a nickel bag was five bucks, a dime bag went for an even sawbuck. An ounce? Fer Bast’s sake, we (Kevin and I) were broke art majors—an ounce (at maybe 20 simoleons) was well outta our price range.

44 years later it’s legal to light up (or savor a lovely edible) in 25 states, D.C. and Guam. Those 25?

Colorado,Washington, Alaska, Oregon, Washington, D.C., California, Maine, Massachusetts, Nevada, Michigan, Vermont, Guam, Illinois, Arizona, Montana, New Jersey, New York, Virginia, New Mexico, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Maryland, Missouri, Delaware, Minnesota and Ohio.

In what backward-ass states is the herb still fully illegal? Idaho, Wyoming, Kansas and South Carolina.

Check out the interactive map here to find out the weed status in your state. Is it legal for medical use and decriminalized. Not decriminalized but medical is AOK? Decriminalized? CBD with THC only? Very confusing. Just make it AND abortion legal across the boards, dammit.

Ain’t Life Grand—Widespread Panic