Things That Go Boom

As you may recall, we watched Star Trek: Section 31 last night (part of Jen’s birthday celebration). Sadly, very sadly, it was a mondo disappointment.

How could a Star Trek movie, especially one starring Michelle fucking Yeoh, be such a letdown? A few reasons.

The storyline was unclear. As in, who are all these people and why are they banded together.

Philippa Georgiou has a wickedly complicated backstory (Star Trek: Discovery) which couldn’t be smoothly summed up in a stand alone feature film format. Maybe it could have been but the movie writing team weren’t up to the challenge?

Alok is a genetically enhanced human who’s been around since the 20th century. Seems long life and perpetual youth are his only enhancements. If he has other superpowers, they aren’t on display. 

Quasi is a Chameloid who has the ability to shape shift into nearly any form. Cool but any shifting was obscured by all the explosion scenes. It seemed like the writers felt the need to have ships, machines, and what-have-you go  BOOM every 10 minutes.

Zeph is a dumb guy in a big mech suit. That seems to be his entire character.

 Fuzz is a microscopic Nanokin in a robot Vulcan body. Right from the get go you can see that Fuzz isn’t really a Vulcan because he’s laughing...a LOT and he has pretty intense mood swings. He’s basically a Men in Black knock off. Though annoying, he’s one of the more fun and fleshed out players. *SPOILER ALERT* Fuzz ends up being one of the bad guys. 

Rachel Garrett’s a Starfleet officer. She’s the only character who seems like a good Star Trek/Federation fit. A little uptight and by-the-book at first but awesome and creative in crisis chaos situations.

The Section 31 organization itself?

Section 31 is a top-secret branch of Starfleet Intelligence, operating way outside usual Federation rules and regulations. Its operatives exist in the shadows, doing unsavory work behind the scenes so that James T Kirk, Jean-Luc Picard, Kathryn Janeway, and other Starfleet captains can carry out their day jobs without getting their hands too dirty. (source)

Basically, it’s the CIA in space. Would you know this if you’re not up to speed on all things Star Trek? Doubt it. I’d have to rewatch the flick to see if the org is ever explained. With all the fight scenes, blasts, and fiery blowups, either I missed it or the explanation just didn’t happen.

Though the writers injected some witty banter here and there it mostly all fell pretty damned flat. The crew had very little cohesion—they just didn’t play off each other well. Why? Was it the actors or the writing?

Omari Hardwick (Alok) is probably a good actor but this role and him  seem a poor fit. I would have loved to see either Aldis Hodge or J. August Richards in his place. Both of them can play serious and comedic at the same time.

Sam Richardson as Quasi was cool but his part really needed to be more fully developed. I mean, could we cut just one special effects explosion and have a bit more story and character development? Same for Kacey Rohl as Rachel Garrett.

Yeoh as Emperor Georgiou—she’s always fab. HOWEVER, movie Georgiou versus Discovery teevee show Georgiou was a bit of a bummer. She was softer—less wittily arch. Her fight scenes were obscured by all the flying blown up space bits AND the long robes. Honestly, how anyone can fight in a flowing cloak is a mystery to me.

My conclusion? The movie had hack writers, direction and TOO much shit blowing up. It was just not up to the quality usually found in the Star Trek universe. Still, I'd like to see a sequel if they got better writers and a different director.