More Things You Should NOT Do

Imagine having gone to a thoroughly mediocre law school. 

Imagine, despite that, you’ve been elected as Florida’s attorney general. You've credited your win to the likes of Sarah Palin (I know, WHO?), Sean Hannity and your frequent appearances on Fox’s conspiracy & disinfo channel. 

Now, imagine you’ve been appointed attorney general of the entire country by the grifting-ass reality show president who donated big to your Florida AG reelection fund. This the same skeezebag for whom you did the favor of disappearing 22 fraud complaints. He’s rewarding your continued loyalty.

Problem – you are SO out of your depth now. You have been for a long time but, you were in fraud friendly Florida. Easy to grease a few palms, spread a little influence, squeeze a few lemons there. 

Yesterday at a Capitol Hill subcommittee hearing, Bleach Bondi said she wasn’t aware that ICE thugs wear masks during their kidnapping expeditions despite all widely seen news videos and pics. This was a hearing. She was under oath, right? Being a lawyer, I would have thought she’d have an understanding, an appreciation of the whole perjury thing. 

So, Bondi claims no knowledge of masked ICE agents so…what does this mean?

What it says to me is that these warrantless, ID-less goons who claim to be Immigration officials are nothing but human trafficking-ass, violent, ultra dangerous kidnappers. Stinky said ICE was only going after violent criminals and drug dealers – that sort of person. These pretend ICE agents are going after grandmothers, children, healthcare workers, gardeners, veterans, the clerk at the corner store, tourists, people who are here legally.

These masked Gestapo cosplayers need to be resisted and doxxed. 

Just a thought but these criminals need their cars and vans to steal their victims away. It seems that’s a weak spot in their armor.

Here are a few ideas for things I can’t recommend doing: 

Pick up some cans of “expanding foam” from any local big box type store. It would obviously be wrong to spray the foam into a car’s hood air intake, tailpipe or any window gap. I ‘m given to understand this stuff expands A LOT and might disable the vehicle.

So, don’t do that.

Cut off the valve stems on at least two tires.

Are you the crafty sort? Caltrops made from hollow tubing, from what I’ve been told, can be a real hazard for vehicle tires. The hollow tubing makes the air exit SO much faster.

Supergluing all the car’s doors and windows would be wrong, wouldn’t it? Sugar or bleach in gas tank? Potatoes in the exhaust pipe – anyone still do that or did these pranks go out of fashion in the ‘60s?

Doing any of these would be juvenile, don’t you think?

I’m thinking it’d be a bad idea so don’t pour kimchee juice or shrimp brine into vehicle air intakes either.

I understand that corn or potato starch in gas tanks clogs the fuel injector system making it difficult, even impossible to start.

I’ve read that retractable spike strips can be effective in stopping a kidnapper’s car. That's probably illegal but so is kidnapping. This could be expensive too – not like you’re gonna get those strips back once they’re embedded in the kidnapper’s tires.

So, bad idea. Nobody do this one, okay? A board with nails and screws in it is a lot cheaper and wicked easy to make. FYI and all.

Ugly thumb incarnate and Stinky’s cosplaying border “czar” Tom Homan says he has received so much hate for his positions on immigration that he is unable to live safely with his family. 

Is he worried that anonymous masked men are going to snatch them out of their beds, off the streets as they walk to school or work, out of a doctor’s appointment or from the grocery store and imprison them without due process? Maybe send them to a foreign country's forced labor camp with no hope of ever going home? Is he worried about a little torture?

Possibly this fear he's supposedly feeling is a cover story. Maybe his wife actually booted his ham-faced carcass out for being a shit example of humanity and an extreme embarrassment?

I only mention it but Hobag is four years younger than me. Even after any single one of my 19 surgeries (which include a few 12-18 hour marathons), I never looked as bad as him. Mein Ficken Gott, he makes stale Wonder Bread with a hint of mold look, by comparison, attractive.