I Have Big Thoughts and Questions

There’s a for reals Craig’s List posting up for free tickets to the First Hooker's documentary with the added bonus of, supposedly, 50 smackarinos if you manage to make it through the whole heavily filtered snooze-fest. Naturally, I have thoughts and questions.

• Given Pedo’s infamous history of stiffing workers, contractors and such, WHY would anyone be stupid enough to believe that check’s ever gonna come?

• How would he know if you split early? Are viewers expected to submit the movie equivalent of a book report afterwards as proof?
• That he’s paying people to go to her movie is more than a bit rich. This from the asshole who’s always saying that protesters are getting checks from Soros. This from the same fool who, infamously, paid people to show up to his rallies. No Stinky, we protest against you for free. Hell, we take time away from our paying gigs to register our massive discontent and rage with you and your vile regime, gratis.
• The only possible upside to the free tickets is that it’s winter. It’s fucking cold out and we’re due for another storm on Sunday. This could be a good way to keep unhoused people warm and dry for a few hours. There will be bathrooms. Maybe folks can get sink baths. I bet they could sleep through a few showings and nobody would notice.

Given that I’m deaf and could just read a book (on my tablet) during the flick, why wouldn’t I go after an easy 50 clams?

Aside from the fact that, despite all the surgeries, I do still have more than half a brain (really!), I know that the dead presidents will never materialize AND even if they did, there’d, doubtless, be a zillion strings attached. When you sign up for those “free” tickets, what kind of info are they expecting you to hand over? (mother’s maiden name, your date and place of birth, first car, first pet name, recent pic, the last nine digits of your social security number?) NOTHING is free in Trumpville.

I only mention it BUT the tickets are free but he’s not covering concession stand purchases? No surprise but WHAT a cheap ass motherfucker. C’mon man, what’s a fuckin’ movie without a bucket of popcorn?! Also, the fuck I’m gonna throw at the screen when I’m pissed off? Tell me!

The final reason I won’t take advantage of this "AMAZING" offer? Even if KKKarolyin’ Lievitt herself personally handed me the $50 as I walked out the cineplex door, that ain’t nowhere near enough dough to get me to sully my eyeballs with toxic Trumpian sewage. You’d need to add at least a few zeros to that number, give me the moolah in small unmarked bills IN ADVANCE, and that large bucket of hot buttered, popped corn is nonnegotiable! I’m still reading my book during the show though.

Also, THIS is why I’m on Threads – dude wrote a riff and the Threaderatti carried on with it. Here’s a bit of it:

I just watched the Melania movie and I don’t understand why she puked on the priest?

I just watched the Melania movie and I don’t understand why she shot Bambi’s mother.

I just watched the Melania movie and I don't get why she kept muttering "my preshuuuuussss."

I just watched the Melania movie & I don’t understand how throwing water on her made her melt. 

I just saw the Melania movie and I don’t understand why she wanted to turn all those puppies into a coat.

I just watched the Melanie movie and I don’t understand why she broke that guy’s ankles with a sledgehammer.

I just watched the Melania movie and I don't understand why she kept saying "here's Johnny"

My comment?
I just watched the Melania movie and I don’t understand how she burst out of that guy’s chest.

Apparently, none of us envision Prez Pedo’s wife as a sympathetic character. I’m stunned, I tell you, just SHOCKED!