Cancelled

Tantrum toddler Prez Pedo has called for the cancellation of the Freedom 250 concert series because, waddya know, no one wants to be associated with him. He wants to switch things up. Instead of a music fest with past-their-prime performers (who’ve turned down a much needed paycheck because EWWWWW, Trump and Trump = what's-left-of-their-career suicide), Pedo wants to make it into one of his campaign rallies.

Yeah, THERE’S a great idea. Anyone recall his incredibly shrinking crowd sizes? The wide blocks of empty bleachers? The photoshopped crowd shots? The Craigslist ads for seat-fillers? All those people leaving after an hour of his bizarre, incoherent ramblings, incessant self-pitying whining, and bellyaching?

….it’s also becoming increasingly common as observers at Trump’s rallies have noted both empty seats and people departing early, often while he’s carrying on about sharks, windmills and Hannibal Lecter. (source) 

Will Pedo’s dwindling cult show up in DC to watch the crazy old man shit his pants and yell at clouds for two hours? Do they want to watch him do the double jerk-off dance to a recording of YMCA again? I mean, if you’ve seen it once…

How ‘bout that Kennedy Center business? He closed it down for two years supposedly for renovations but, seriously, we all know it was because nobody wanted to be featured there after he forced himself on the joint and plastered his name above JFK’s. Pedo gleefully, dictatorially desecrated a memorial to an enormously well respected president who was murdered while in office and then had a hissy fit when there was pushback.

Those “two years” (no doubt similar to his “two weeks”) the Center would be shut down? That was entirely about ducking the embarrassing reality of not being able to get anyone worthwhile to perform there. The Kennedy Center had to be shuttered until he was out of office. Any renovations that might have been done would have been a total scam. He would’ve been funneling payments into his own pockets the whole time.

Which makes me wonder, how much in kickbacks is he making off the reflecting pool repair and paint desecration job? And how much did he make when he turned the Rose Garden into a third-rate mall food court?

Oh and that birthday cage fight he’s having for himself on the South Lawn, I understand that some of the UFC fighters are starting to back out. 

Sean Strickland declined, saying: 

“So, if there was some kind of inclusion for fans, it’d be more … but like, just to go hang out with the f—ing Epstein list? I’m good, dog. I’m good, dude.”

Brandon Royval: 

"I don’t give a f--- about any of our political figures right now, and it's like to fight in front of them seems like some f---ing ‘Hunger Games’ type of f---ing s---. I don’t give a f--- to fight in front of some f---ing billionaires and rich people that could give a s--- less about me."

Tom Aspinwal puts it straight up and diplomatically: 

"Mate, it’s just boring. So boring. I don’t even have a comment."

Maybe Pedo could just have some of his loyal lapdogs get in the cage instead? I mean, I think the Valhalla household would def consider Pay Per View access for the following bouts:

• JDouche Vance vs the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Couches 
• Lindsey Graham vs Lindsey Graham
• Stephen Nosferatu Miller vs a vial of holy water and a clove of garlic
• Moses Johnson vs Holy Mike Pence (WHICH spineless jellyfish will TRIUMPH?!)
• Kegseth vs a bottle of Stoli
• Cruella De Noem vs a pack of wirehaired pointer puppies bent on revenge
• Former AG Bleach Blondi vs Special Counsel Jack Smith (It’ll be a fucking surgical blood bath!)
• Former Intelligence Secretary Tulsi Gabbard vs Kamala Harris (surgical blood bath chapter II) 
• Education Secretary Linda McMahon and pro-wrestling exec vs an elderly sloth (this will be a spelling contest and my money’s on the sloth.)
• MarkWayneJimBobFloydCleetus Mullin vs a broken rake
• RFK Jr. vs a rampaging horde of torch wielding, insanely angry pork tapeworms, hellbent on payback for his unlawful imprisonment of their larvae in his diseased, filthy brain.
• And finally, we'll bring Jeff Epstein back from the dead so he can go up against every woman that he trafficked, raped, molested, said a mean word to or looked at funny when they were helpless girls, AND their lawyers. He will be alone, unrepresented.

I'm just asking but, gee willikers folks, didn’t Pedo win EVERY swing state? Shouldn’t he be a little bit popular? I mean, is it normal for a country’s leader to be so desperately hated? Do 70% of Israelis hate Netanyahu? Do the vast majority of Russians despise Putin? Is Kim Jong-un unpopular in North Korea? Can we trust popularity polls in a dictatorship? 

Inquiring mind here and shit.

At this point, if Pedo really wants live music at his humiliating ME Fest, he’s gonna have to go with his faithful, elderly Z-listers, “Kid” Rock and The Nuge (if he’s still alive) and then maybe even actually pay them.