If You Don’t Have Anything Nice To Say…

Come sit next to me. (I just LOVE Dorothy Parker)

Goddamn I woke up in such a good mood today!

So, Lindsey Graham, that soulless, sycophantic, Trump footstool has died. He was only 71 too. That’s only a few years older than me but, boy howdy, dude looked a solid ten, fifteen years older, MINIMUM. I mean, we’re talking seriously bloated, baggy, tired, and dragged the fuck out. Fer fuck’s sake, after 9 million brain surgeries and the resulting facial paralysis, I don’t even look that played out.

Graham looked like he’d spent all his adult years sitting on a bar stool with a plate of overcooked steak, greasy French fries, and 12 too many Mint Juleps and Old Fashioneds in front of him while he chatted up the devil himself. He was telling Lucy every damned thing he imagined the old serpent wanted to hear. Oh wait … apart from those few years he spent hanging with John McCain, I believe that’s exactly how dead old Linds spent his life.

Who, I ask you, WHO, didn’t see this coming (besides every-fucking-one)?

I wonder how much the old boy banked when he sold his soul? Can he spend that money now?

Of course there’s conspiracy theories brewing. Did Russia have something to do with this? Russia is, after all, infamous for its enemies falling out of windows or having other odd accidents, getting poisoned or shot, and "mysteriously" dying in prison. It’s not wholly implausible. Graham was working on a bipartisan bill which was designed to impose heavy sanctions on Russia. 

In a recent press conference, after meeting with President Zelenskyy, in Ukraine:

“We’ve reached an agreement with the White House on a version of the Russian sanctions bill that they will support. It means it’s going to become law,” he said at the press conference.

“So, when I get back to Washington, I’m going to go with Senator Blumenthal to the Republican and Democratic leaders to see if we can find time to move this Russian sanctions package that would give tools to President Trump to help end this war.” (source) 

Iran wasn’t a big fan of his either.

Who knows?

And another thing … Schrödinger’s Mitch McConnell has either outlived Graham or he hasn’t. We can't know until we observe him (which we can’t because the GOP is hiding his body away whilst taking turns lying to the press about their 20 minute convos with him). 

Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear on Wednesday asked the office of Sen. Mitch McConnell’s, R-Ky., to provide an update on the senator’s health, escalating public pressure for more information as the 84-year-old remains hospitalized more than three weeks after being admitted. (source) 

Good luck with that, Andy. I'm sure asking nicely will totally compel Republicans to comply! 🙄

It’s pretty clear the perpetually duplicitous Republicans are playing a shell game with Mitch’s corpse. Even the far-right influencer Laura Loomer and an independent journo, Desiree Townsend, are saying that their sources are telling them that the old turtle is brain dead. He ain't comin' outta that shell anymore.

In the Dead Olympics, Linds stole Mich’s spotlight. What a queen. 

I only mention it but these big deaths usually come in threes, right? The universe could do us all SUCH a solid right now!

Frankly, I’d be okay if our buddies, the Fates – Lachesis, Atropos, and Clotho, took out some of the other demons. There are a ton to choose from and they all gotta go – amirite?

Finally, Biden outliving both these motherfuckers is icing on my motherfucking cake! I feel a wee celebration is called for. Break out the cuppycakes!