Welcome to FARTlandia

In a recent Substack post, Bizarro creator Dan Piraro talked about how the US doesn’t have a name so much as a description — we’re called the United States of America. Think about it. It's also only accurate if we’re talking about the collection of our taxes. Apart from that, on what are we united? 

Piraro goes on to say:

My guess is we are not too far away from our wannabe king suggesting we name the country after him. We may all be living in the Forever Authoritarian Republic of Trump before long. The only upside of that would be that people the world over would doubtless refer to it as “FART.”  (source) 

At this point, after all we’ve done to immigrants, Venezuelan fishermen, Iranians, our own citizens, and the whole rest of the world, FART or FARTlandia seems like an absurdly gentle, understated name. After yesterday's taxpayer funded, white trash, fascist, tacky-as-all-hell birthday party for the ancient, insane, pedophilic, loaded diaper of a president, FARTlandia is immensely appropriate (if understated) though.

Dan Piraro, Bizarro

This collection of states and territories that are considered to be the “United States” are anything but united. I mean, Wyoming, Idaho, Montana, and the Dakotas probably have a lot in common. New England and New York State are almost always on the same wavelength but NOT with those previously mentioned states. 

California, Oregon, and Washington could stand together. Would the Deep South, Texas and Oklahoma join with them? //snort// Not in a trillion years or with a gun to their heads. How about the Midwest? //shrugs// It might make sense to break up and form half a dozen independent countries.

Here’s the thing though, most of the gerrymandered-to-hell-and-back Republican states are taker states. That is, they receive more in federal funding than they pay in federal taxes. How long would the new countries of Texahoma, Southlandia or YeeHawistan survive without California, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New York, buckos? Seriously now.

Also, will liberal people stay in a new country that’s hostile to them? I mean, I get it – you were born and raised in Texas. It’s home. You’re used to being around a lot of folks with vastly different morals and ethics but NOW those differences are being made into law. Abortion is already illegal in Texas. Maternal mortality rose 56% in the first full year of the state's ban. The state does NOT care if women die.

Mothers living in states that banned abortion are nearly 2x as likely to die during pregnancy, childbirth, or soon after giving birth, compared to mothers living in supportive states where abortion was legal and accessible  (source) 

What other inane, insane, shortsighted, control-freaking, micro-dicked laws will the white Christofascist moldy potatoes enact once they have half a chance. Yee haw!

According to the Georgetown Institute for Women, Peace and Security scale, Texas comes in at 41 out of 51 (50 states plus the District of Columbia) on women’s equality.

The US WPS Index captures key aspects of women’s status at home, in the community, and in the economy and society. The index is structured around three basic dimensions: inclusion (economic, social, political); justice (formal laws and informal discrimination); and security (at the individual and community levels). The index and its 12 indicators, grouped into these three dimensions, provide a standardized, quantitative, and transparent measure for ranking all states.

If the US becomes balkanized, the only women left in the former red states will be the ones who were too poor or otherwise lacking a help network to get out. Ah, who knows. Maybe modern day Scythian warrior women (AKA Amazons) or Onna-musha warriors will form up. Possibly some Valkyries can get involved. Ya know they were, maybe still are, thought of as death demons, spirits of carnage. 

Way cool, eh? 

 In any case, Happy Monday from FARTlandia!  

💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 💨 

Crazy Times

I have Harry Nilsson’s song Jump Into The Fire in my head this morning.

You can climb a mountain
You can swim the sea
You can jump into the fire
But you'll never be free

I imagine this has something to do with the insane news we’re pounded with every day. In what way is Prez Pedo gonna try to clown fuck us into hell today? 

He signed that weasel shit executive order to restrict mail-in voting (full on knowing that mail-in voting foiled his scheme to steal the 2020 election). Only his dimmest cult members buy his lies – mail-in voting is secure and vast voter fraud claims are baseless. I’m betting he’ll make good on his threat to have the national guard confiscate voting machines in November though. This will be right after the GOP goes down in flames that’ll make the Great Chicago Fire of 1871 look like a little backyard barbecue. He’ll try to anyway. 

Hopefully, national guard leaders will be smart and faithful enough to the constitution to disobey an illegal order. Seeing all the troops obediently going off to the Middle East to fight Operation Epstein Distraction, I'm not positive we can count on them.

More than 20 Democratic attorneys general filed a lawsuit Friday challenging Donald Trump’s Tuesday executive order to restrict who can vote by mail. 

In his order, Trump directed the US Postal Service to abstain from sending mail-in or absentee ballots to people who are not on a pre-ordained list of eligible citizens.
~~~
States and localities that do not comply with the order could face the loss of federal funds and investigations.

The attorneys general, in their lawsuit, called the order an unconstitutional interference into state elections and a move to disenfranchise voters.

The constitution does not grant presidents power over elections. States are responsible for how their elections are run, with Congress being able to alter some choices.
~~~
“Once again, President Trump is trying to rewrite the rules of our elections. But he lacks the authority to do so – full stop,” said California’s attorney general, Rob Bonta, one of the plaintiffs, in a Friday news release. (source) 

As if this and his obscene, incompetently waged war on Iran wasn’t enough, he’s also attacking Blue states in a new way. He’s announced a fresh crackdown on “fraud.” Projection much Fraud Boy? Fer fuck’s sake, that’s the old grifter's total fucking brand! Pedo made the announcement on his little Twitter knock-off – Truth Toilet. He’s putting JD I-create-stories Vance in charge of making sure other people aren’t creating stories.

Sure, this makes perfect sense. The US is insane. Mind you, it’s always been so but NOW we’re light-years beyond lethally batshit.

The truth is you don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed.
~ Eminem

I live in a crazy time.
~ Anne Frank 

In an insane world, a sane man must appear insane.
~ Kurt Vonnegut 

I realised either I was crazy or the world was crazy; and I picked on the world. 
~ Jack Kerouac 

It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society. 
~ Jiddu Krishnamurti

Whose side are you on?

Stephen Miller’s war on Minnesota, absurdly calling itself an immigration crackdown as government thugs kidnap innocents,  murder U.S. citizens and imprison Native Americans, is supposedly coming to an end. I’ll believe it when…I don’t know what it’ll take for me to believe it. Announcements made by this lying-ass administration are no more than tall stacks of fresh, stinking hippo shit, dressed up in pin stripes and, occasionally, a pink satin bow.

Hamfaced Homan said “Operation Metro Surge” can close out because:

"As a result of our efforts here Minnesota is now less of a sanctuary state for criminals.” 

Minnesota never was a “sanctuary state for criminals” you bloated sack of lying, worm-riddled, moldy cabbages. 73% of those arrested had NO criminal record and only 6% of those arrested had violent convictions. ICE arrested a 2-year-old with an active asylum case. A TWO YEAR OLD! There was some fuss about Somali community fraud. Only 23 of those arrested were from Somalia and NONE of them had any links to the fraud cases under investigation. DHS is flat out lying.

"Operation Metro Surge” – these war waging assholes always have to come up with what they think is a clever name for their destructive, barbarous, murderous campaigns, don’t they? It’s as though they’ve never matured beyond the age of 10. They’re playing war games with their neighborhood gang. Their game? Lord of the Flies. What a bunch of dangerously stupid, infantile, histrionic clowns.

You may want to sit this one out, boyo.
The woman in the bathrobe is clearly the alpha here.

Also, yesterday, I think it was yesterday, ICEholes rammed a car containing a person they intended to kidnap. That person was taken away in an ambulance. A crowd had gathered though, including a woman who had dashed out of her house in nothing more than a bathrobe and slippers. She was filming the armed, illegal, government goons. The people of Minneapolis are mad as hell and they’re not putting up with this shit anymore.

Bathrobe Woman is Minnesota Public Radio News reporter/producer Sam Stroozas and she’s a hero. Leila Navidi of the Minneapolis Star Tribune caught the moment.

Where will the ICEholes invade next? In what cities will residents need to guard against kidnappings and murders by roving bands of armed, masked, war-playing, government gangbangers? Chicago, Boston (and the surrounding towns and cities), and Charlotte, North Carolina have been mentioned. 

It’s important to seriously note what’s gone down in Minnesota – study the ways ICE moved. Fer instance, according to Kelsey Speer, a Minneapolis author:

Jack Ohman

1. ICE gets sneaky. They came in loud to Minneapolis, but when we weren't intimidated into submission, they had to change tactics. They put bumper stickers like "Coexist," "Fuck Ice," and even "Student Driver" on their cars to try to blend in. They wear flannel over their tactical gear. They hide additional agents under blankets in the backseat. They pretend to be press or parents at school pickup, asking questions about how they can get involved.

2. They will send agents in plainclothes to try and lure people outside. Sometimes they will go into a restaurant and say they hit someone's car in the parking lot and want to pay damages, then when the victim goes outside, they're dragged into an SUV and taken. Or they will go into an apartment complex and pull the fire alarm, forcing people to evacuate so they can nab people. And to be crystal clear, they have to resort to this shit because they DO NOT HAVE JUDICIAL WARRANTS. 

3. They will infiltrate your signal groups. In fact, assume that they have. Do not use your real name, do not share personal information about yourself or other people. If someone is asking questions and something feels a little off, TRUST YOUR GUT and do not give them any info. You will constantly be walking a thin line between working with your neighbors and being suspicious of everyone. 

More tips here.  

The paranoid is never entirely mistaken.
~ Sigmund Freud
 

Civics

America has three branches of government. 

They are:

1. Billionaires
2. Pedophiles
3. Corporations

Oh wait, my mistake. That’s just a single branch AND it's the whole of the party that's in charge right now – the GOP. So...uhhh, nevermind.

Question – now that Epstein’s dead and Trump’s too closely watched to get away with all his old raping, torturing, and what-have-you, who's running the pedophile show? I mean, you know someone is.

Is this the real reason Elon stepped away from DOGE and the political spotlight – he wanted to be in charge of the pedo parties? How about Epstein’s great friend and financial advisee Peter Thiel? Maybe Zuckerberg?

“Just to clarify, is the public going to learn the identities of the men who abused the girls with the information you’re releasing?” a reporter asked Blanche at a Friday press conference. “And if not, why not?” 

“I mean, you just baked in an assumption into your question that I have never said, and I don’t know to be true,” (Deputy Attorney General) Blanche replied. “Is the public going to learn about men that abused these girls? What does that mean? I don’t understand what it means.”
…
“I don’t think that the public [is going to] uncover men within the Epstein files that abused women,” he (Blanche) concluded.  (source) 

Transparency and accountability aren’t on the menu but you knew that already.

Edel Rodriguez

I’m sure you’ve heard/seen by now, Prez Urinal Cake posted an insanely racist vid about the Obamas the other night. When asked about it, KKKaroline Lievitt said : “This is from an internet meme video depicting President Trump as the King of the Jungle and Democrats as characters from The Lion King. Please stop the fake outrage and report on something today that actually matters to the American public.”

???And this makes it somehow less outrageously, insanely racist, ridiculously puerile, and disgusting??? KKKaroline is SUCH a pile of loose weasel stools.

Next, the White House claimed an unnamed staffer posted it, mistakenly, for him. This “unnamed staffer” just so happened to be hanging around with Pedo while he’s surfing the web for glowing news of himself and shitposting on his failed Truth Toilet app at zero dark 30? Is this unnamed staffer's name John Barron by any chance?

Nope, not buying it. White House staff is still fucking that same chicken today but with the added spice of Pedo saying he hadn’t seen the part of the vid where the Obamas are portrayed as apes. Sure dude. The clip is 62 seconds long – he saw it. His staff saw it. He decided to fly with it anyway because it’d be an attention getting distraction from the Trump/Epstein Files, if only for one news cycle.

The other thing that’s so incredibly sad, pathetic and despicable about all this is Trump’s overwhelming, long-term obsession with Obama. He just can’t accept that Obama is everything that Trump never could, never has, and never will be. Ever. 

AND there’s absolutely nothing Pedo can do to diminish Obama’s achievements or the huge respect, admiration, and deep affection he and his wife inspire. 

That’s just eating the old orange failure alive. I’m loving this.

Jesse Duquette

Observing Pedo from a stoic perspective, I’m trying to put my finger on just the right word to describe him. That he’s overwhelmed by envy for a man he’s clearly inferior to in every way is clear. Also, six years on, he still can’t let go of the fact that he lost the 2020 election (to Biden NOT Obama). Why is that? That he keeps hammering on it, bringing up his failure, amplifying it is weird and sad.

The English language failed me so I turned to German.

Do I feel fremdschämen – secondhand embarrassment – for Pedo? Do I feel embarrassed for him? Yes and no. Not exactly. No. Ich habe nicht fremdschämt. 

Jämmerlich is used to describe a sad state, a poor excuse, pitiful, wretched, miserable, or failing terribly.

Der orange Arschloch war in einem jämmerlichen Zustand.
The orange asshole was in a wretched/failed state. I'm observing his condition and it is indeed bleak, ominous, sad, and downright pathetic. 

It is and he deserves it and so much worse.

WHY NOT?!

Woke up. Picked up the phone. Opened The Guardian app.

GODDAMMIT, he’s not dead not dead yet!

Ya know, I ask for so little.

Not that the alternative is anything to write home about. The best that can be said is that, possibly, his hygiene is better.

How about this? Could VP Name-of-the-Week just shut the fuck up forever? Every time he opens his mouth he says something out of touch, off putting, and more or less wackaloon.

Commenting on Prez Pedo’s bullshit, sexist, insulting, unhinged ranting, dodge from a reporter’s question about the Epstein survivors Vance had this to say:

“She’s asking a question, the president says, ‘Why don’t you ever smile?’ Yeah, it’s actually, like, so perceptive,”

 …“Even if you’re asking a tough question, even if you take your job very seriously, like, does it always have to be so antagonistic?”

“Have some fun, right? You can’t always take yourself too seriously.” (source) 

Right. Because IF Collins had plastered a smile on her face when she asked our child raping president about the survivors of his and his bestie Jeff’s parties, Pedo TOTALLY would have replied in a calm, measured, truthful manner. Sure. Oh and a smile when asking about something so horrific is, like, TOTALLY appropriate.

THE COUNTRY IS COMPLETELY ENGULFED IN CORROSIVE ACIDIC FIRE AND YOU THINK THE REPORTER SHOULD SMILE MORE?!!! 

Of course the most socially incompetent VP of all time would make such an incredible stupid and maladroit statement. This was his bungling, ham-handed attempt at gaslighting, at diverting the public from the the actual point. Which was? That Trump and his buddy Jeff, at the VERY least, trafficked, kept, raped, and horrifically abused young girls and they did so for YEARS.

JD the man who tried to paint all Democrats as “a bunch of childless cat ladies who are miserable at their own lives and the choices that they've made and so they want to make the rest of the country miserable, too.” 

He’s suggested that Americans without rugrats should pay higher taxes. Also, the votes cast by people with children should count more than those of us who, for whatever reason, have not spawned.

Regarding children, he’s also said “I think we have to go to war against the anti-child ideology that exists in our country.” ‘Scuse me – there’s an anti-child ideology? Huh. Where? Can you show me where it is on a map? Is it in the room with us now? That boy sure does love to make shit up.

Vance downplayed the Hitler fanboy and girling of the Young Republicans and their jokes about gas chambers, slavery, and rape by calling concerns “pearl clutching” and then changing the subject. Pardon me, I gotta go find a pearl to clutch.

AND who can forget his proud fairy tale about the Haitian immigrants in Springfield, Ohio devouring all the good white residents cats and dogs! 

In trying to slam Biden’s economy and Harris’ campaign, JD seriously claimed his two sons "actually eat about 14 eggs every single morning.” When called out on his fabulating, the couch fornicator got all defensive and claimed it was “lighthearted hyperbole.” Sure dude.

This guy’s such a social train wreck, he can’t even order a fucking doughnut! 

These are just a few of his domestic blunders. He’s happily met with the far right Alternative for Germany (AfD) party. There was that awful, disgusting White House “meeting” where Pedo and he thought they could get away with yelling at and attempting to humiliate a real hero – Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy. The Greenland trip where it was made clear that he was MOST def unwelcome.

The man has the charisma and social skills of a 13-year-old who's been raised on Married with Children and believes this is how real people are supposed to behave. He watched the 1984 Terminator and clocked Schwarzenegger as the hero. Dude sees Pinocchio as a bastion of truth and integrity. Vance is NOT someone with a functioning moral compass.

When Pedo croaks the war continues. We just get a new lying asshole in charge. 

Don't Be A Zombie

Desensitization
A decrease in emotional responsiveness to a negative or aversive stimulus, such as reduced empathy for victims of violence and other forms of abuse, due to repeated exposure.

He’s throwing SO MUCH shit at us constantly in the hope that we become numb, so that we stop caring and/or are so desensitized that we’re no longer able to respond. 

This is a tactic. If they overwhelm us, we’ll be unable to fight back or resist in any meaningful way.

This administration and its backers, like Musk, Thiel, and The Heritage Foundation, to name a few, want us to be compliant zombies.

Briefly and just off the top of my head he’s:

• Threatened world war because Denmark wouldn’t give him Greenland with a nice pink bow. Lied, saying The U.S. needs Greenland for defense reasons when it was all about wanting their inaccessible rare minerals.

• Bombed more than 36 Venezuelan fishing boats, killing more than 126 people, lied that they were drug boats headed for the U.S. Then invaded the country, kidnapped their president (and his wife), saying he was a narco-terrorist. Meanwhile, the whole charade, all the deaths, all the U.S. taxpayer buckos spent on military actions were because Pedo wanted to get his mitts on Venezuela’s oil that, oopsie, the big oil company’s aren’t actually interested in. Oh and all the money from the sale of Venezuela’s oil? Yeah, that goes into a special bank account in Qatar. Sounds legit, right? This was never about drugs.

• How about the Soviet style $45 million birthday parade that Stinky threw for himself and slept through?  

• The pants shitting maniac had the East Wing of the White House demolished without he required congressional authorization or full approval from federal planning commissions. Why? He wanted a giant-ass ugly ballroom – 90,000-square-feet of gold painted filigree and crap. For comparison’s sake, an American football field is 57,600-square-feet. The Hammerstein Ballroom in NYC measures 35,000-square-feet and holds 2,000 people.

• He had a personal private army formed. It’s made up of the January 6th insurrectionists, white nationalists, pardoned criminals, people too stupid, violent, and out of control to become cops, join the military or become security guards at their local mall. Their job? Domestic terrorism – ethnic and political cleansing. With them Prez Pedo wages war on Blue cities and states like Los Angeles, Chicago, Minnesota, Portland, Maine, and more.

• MINNEAPOLIS and all the Trump sanctioned murders!

• And, of course, the Epstein/Trump files. Though 3.5 million new, horrifying pages (including more than 2,000 videos and 180,000 images) were released on Friday, apparently that’s not all of it. Prez Pedo’s personal AG, Bleach Bondi, is withholding roughly 50% of the files while claiming to have fully complied with the law. 

• Pedo wants to build a big, beautiful memorial arch to himself. 

How next will Pedo, his private army, and faithful henchman – the Republican Party, take a sledge hammer to democracy, liberty, the Constitution, our rights as citizens and humans on this fucking planet?  

If we are to survive, if we are going to get to the other side of this mondo shitstorm, we canNOT become desensitized. How is that possible though?

Pick causes to focus your energy on. Don’t spread yourself across the whole board. If you do, you’ll become overwhelmed, overloaded and crash. Probably. Unless you’re Superhuman. I’m sure as fuck not.

Actively manage your news consumption by setting a strict time limit (e.g., 60 minutes per day). Stop when the time’s up and focus on other shit like reading a book, watching a movie, baking, crafting, painting, making music, going for a walk, photography, bowling, playing with your cat, whatever. I'm bad at this – it's a goal I'm after though.

Feeling emotionally numb? Stop. Rest. Pet a cat. Volunteer and/or donate. Go work at a shelter (people and/or animal). Spend time with folks in nursing homes. Don’t like people? You’re socially awkward (like me)? Volunteer to run errands or clean.  

Look for positive stories too. It’s not all doom out there.

Really.

Though still severely endangered, researchers have spotted 21 North Atlantic right whale calves off the Southeast U.S. coast and this encouraging.  

Electric vehicles (EVs) are outselling gas cars in Europe for the first time. Yeah, it’ll be a LOT longer before that happens over here but, it WILL happen. 

Three big U.S. offshore wind farm projects are back under construction after Prez Asshole ordered them stopped. Federal judges cockblocked his little mushroom.

SEE? There IS some good news.

National Shutdown January 30th

Alex Pretti, Renee Good, Silverio Villegas González, and Keith Porter Jr.  have all been murdered by the Trump/Miller/Noem/Homan Goon Squads. They’re not the only ones – just the most most recent – the ones getting the most press. Why all the press? Probably because we have obvious, irrefutable video of Renee Good and Alex Pretti being murdered. All of the administration’s lies can’t change what we’ve seen with our own eyes. 

What is a general strike? It's a mass coordinated work stoppage. ALL possible economic activity comes to a halt.  Schools, shops, theaters, museums, manufacturing, etc. are shut down. Labor is withheld.

What should stay open/remain operational during a national shutdown? Critical, life-sustaining services like hospitals, emergency medical services, basic water and electricity maintenance.

The purpose of the shutdown is to exert max pressure on Prez Pedo to cut the shit with his and VP Stephen Miller’s out of control, rabid, private army. You know, the ones tasked with the ethnic and political cleansing of America. The strike is also a call to Congress to wake the fuck up and cut the funding that supports ICE. 

Will a one day general strike/national shutdown make everything all better here in the U.S.? No but I bet it’ll achieve at least SOME of the goals. Which are:

• Immediate Withdrawal of ICE/CBP from Minnesota
• Accountability for Murders and Deaths (both outside and in the concentration camps) 
• National Action – Defunding of ICE/CBP
• Economic Disruption (demonstrating the collective power of workers and consumers to force changes in the political and economic order)

I want Jonathan Ross charged with the murder of Renee Good. I want his fellow ICEholes who stood there letting this happen and keeping a medic from attending to her, on trial as accomplices to first degree murder. I want their names.

I want the names of the maniacal fucks who fired into Alex Pretti’s body as he lay subdued on the ground. I want the names of the ICEholes who did nothing to stop the murder. They should all be suffering in the most disgusting prison for the rest of their lives.

I want ICE completely abolished.

Social strikes have been used effectively in other, smaller countries like the Philippines, Chile, South Korea, Serbia, Madagascar, Nepal, Poland, Haiti, South Africa. One key factor is that the strikes made it impossible for the regimes to function.

While strikes for specifically political purposes like deposing political leaders or affecting legislation are common in other countries — as illustrated by many of the non-U.S. examples mentioned above — they are a rarity in the U.S. An exception was the 23-day strike by 42,000 West Virginia coal miners in 1969 that forced the state legislature to pass a law providing compensation for victims of black lung disease. (source) 

The only national general strike in our country’s history was organized by the labor movement to support a decades-long campaign for the eight-hour workday. This was May 1, 1886. A third of a million workers walked off their jobs – considering the U.S. population at the time was around 55 million, that’s a LOT. The biggest demonstrations were in Chicago – they went on for days.

The family resemblance is striking, no?

But a rally protesting police murders of strikers was interrupted by a bomb, followed by brutal repression. Assaults by the authorities on civil liberties, especially harsh for immigrant workers, included death by hanging of several labor leaders in a transparent miscarriage of justice, an episode now known as the Haymarket affair. This “red scare” set back the eight-hour movement for decades, but also resulted in May 1 being declared International Workers’ Day by the Socialist International to honor the eight-hour martyrs. (source) 

Is the U.S. just too big, too ideologically diverse, pigheaded, and economically fucked up for a sustained (multi day/month) general strike to work? I think the fact that many of us are living paycheck to paycheck and healthcare being so obscenely expensive (to the point of often making it unaffordable to remain alive in America) makes extended strikes impossible for many.

What to do? Boycott, vote, stay informed on local, state, and national issues, be a nagging pain in the ass to your elected officials, if you still have MAGAt friends and family – confront them with reality, the truth. Don't be a bystander. Don’t give up.

Finding Out

 As of yesterday. 86.42% of Democratic congresscritters have signed on to a resolution to impeach Killer Kristi Noem. Even Chuckie sternly-worded-letter Schumer and Quisling Fetterman have come out, big and bold, that the puppy killer needs to be taken to the gravel pit.

It’s gonna happen but it’s not enough. This entire regime needs to be put down. Goebbels Miller, Prez Pedo, VP Name of the Week, the Heritage Foundation – all of these lying-ass motherfuckers need to be sent to a farm upstate where they can live happily ever after with all their other fascist friends.

Did you see? The ICEhole brigade in Minnesota are now using LRAD (long range acoustic device) weapons, at close range, against peaceful protesters. Also known as “sound cannons,” these make extremely loud, high-frequency sound and are specifically intended for the scattering crowds. Close exposure (within 20 meters/65 feet) can cause permanent hearing loss due to nerve damage, tinnitus, damage to eardrums, migraines, intense sinus pressure, and nausea. LRADs are dangerous even for deafies like me.

You do know that Stephen Miller’s ICEholes are also using LRADs because the pain and permanent disability they cause make ICEhole’s nearly nonexistent, useless peens stiff. That and pics of the First Porn Model of the US are probably the only things that'll inspire a rise in 'em.

Gary Markstein

In the 2016 court case, Edrei v. Bratton the NYPD settled a lawsuit regarding the 2014 use of LRADs on protesters. This resulted in strict limitations on "sound cannon" use. 

The U.S. Court of Appeals for the 2nd Circuit ruled that purposely using LRAD in a manner capable of causing serious injury to non-violent protesters is a violation of the U.S. Constitution’s Fourteenth Amendment prohibition against excessive force. In June 2018, the court ruled that the device was an instrument of force designed for “incapacitating and painful effects” and that “the problem posed by protesters in the street did not justify the use of force, much less force capable of causing serious injury, such as hearing loss.” (source) 

So, HOW is it legal for ICEholes in Minnesota to be using LRADs? Guess what – it’s not. This dumbfuckian administration doesn’t give a shit. They think they’re all as Find-Out free as Dear Leader. NO. 

Did you know, there’s a town in Eastern Pennsylvania named Nuremberg. The population, as of a 2010 census, was just 434. I wonder if the place still exists. Seems like it’d be a perfect setting for this century’s tribunals to prosecute the prominent AND lower level perps of crimes against humanity. Everyone from King Pedo down to the lowliest ICEhole needs to be held accountable for the atrocities that have been committed.

Bill Bramhall

If all Confederate leaders had been held to justice after the Civil War; had Nixon not been pardoned; if the army had suffered consequences for massacring the Southern Cheyenne and Arapahoe at Sand Creek and the Lakota at Wounded Knee; had William Calley not gotten away with the My Lai massacre maybe, MAYBE we wouldn’t be in the deep-ass mess we’re in today. Maybe motherfuckers would've learned that there are consequences.

Meanwhile, Governor Walz has made it clear to Prez Pedo’s personal lawyer Attorney General, Bleach Bondi, that Minnesota doesn’t negotiate with terrorists. In response to her extortionist demands for the state’s unredacted voter rolls, Medicaid and Food and Nutrition Service program data, and repealing sanctuary policies, Walz said, amongst other things: 

“There’s two million documents in the Epstein files we’re still waiting on. Go ahead and work on those.” 

Minnesota doesn’t negotiate with terrorists and dictators. Be like Minnesota.

Today and Yesterday

I only mention it but it’s currently 7º here in Valhalla with the wind making it feel like -17. Yeah, it’s beautiful BUT we’re sure as fuck not going out there. Hell, I wouldn’t brave that wind and freeze even with your lovely, intact balance nerves.

7º is a fuckton warmer than the temps for Minnesota’s General Strike yesterday. The high was, reportedly around -8º. NEGATIVE 8! That’s Fahrenheit, not Celsius, by the by.

I saw pics of those righteous, glorious resisters in Minnesota yesterday. In that massive crowd was 80 year-old Justice Alan Page, a former Minnesota Viking and NFL Hall of Famer. He completed law school while playing pro ball and then went on to be elected to the Minnesota Supreme Court in 1992. Gee, overachieve much? In 2018 he was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom. 80 years old and he was out there!

 Coppers arrested somewhere around 100 clergy members who were protesting ICE actions at the Minneapolis-Saint Paul International Airport. Why protest there?

Delta relies on MSP as a major hub, and Signature Aviation provides logistical support for ICE operations. The MSP Airport serves tens of millions of travelers each year and is now used as the key site in DHS’s operations to abduct and rush out Minnesotans to detention centers.

An estimated 2,000 people have been deported through MSP, and many people who work at MSP have been abducted by ICE while at work or commuting to and from the airport. (source) 

Minnesota Mascara

THIS is what religious types should be doing! Protesting against the wicked and protecting the oppressed, the persecuted, those who have truly struggled against ferocious odds. Fuck those fucking blasphemous “prosperity gospel” charlatans all the way to their vision of Hell!

Cursed is anyone who withholds justice from the foreigner, the fatherless or the widow.” Then all the people shall say, “Amen!” 
~ Deuteronomy 27:19

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in.
~ Matthew 25:35

When a foreigner resides among you in your land, do not mistreat them. 

The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the LORD your God. 
~ Leviticus 19:33-34

This is what the LORD Almighty said: ‘Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another.

 Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the foreigner or the poor. Do not plot evil against each other.
~ Zechariah 7:9-10

Solidarity actions, if not full on general strikes, spread to at least 215 other cities. 6th Avenue in New York was shut down by 3,000+ protesters. There were marches and gatherings in Boston, Chicago, Phoenix, San Francisco, Seattle, Philadelphia, Savannah, Georgia, Portland, Oregon, and more. This is just going to get bigger and bigger. We’re mad as hell and we’re not gonna take it anymore. 

Maybe, just fucking maybe, America isn’t so doomed after all.  

Meanwhile, the kleptocratic wannabe autocrats keep trying to make us believe their lies and fairy tales instead of the reality we’ve all seen with our damn eyes. May the universe bless the creators of cellphone cameras!

Krazy Kash, the most ridiculously incompetent and corrupt FBI director ever, can fire all the agents investigating Renee Good’s murder but it’ll never make Jonathan Ross and all of ICE innocent.  

Language Matters

Protest is what I do when something isn't okay with me. I march and otherwise register my objections. Resistance is when I try to make it so that what isn't okay doesn't happen any more.

Protest
     noun
The act of objecting or a gesture of disapproval. 

Resistance
     noun
1: an act or instance of resisting : opposition
2: an opposing or impeding force 
3: a secret organization resisting authority, especially in an occupied country.

Definitely protest – also RESIST!

For those under siege by ICE, a few random thoughts and ideas found on the interwebzzz:

•  Cleaning vinegar in which a ghost pepper has soaked. Pour it into the smallest balloon you can find so they pop on contact. Use gloves when putting these cuties together. Make them in the garage to save your sinuses. For good measure, these’ll fit in a dog tennis ball launcher, giving you a 25-40 foot distance. A mini-trebuchet would be wicked cool but prolly harder to come by. These will cause ICEholes to strip off their clothes. It's January. *snicker, snicker*

 •  Leaf blowers were blowing back tear gas and fumes during the Portland, Oregon protests in Trump’s first horrific reign. They could/should be used again against the new army of rabid, wilding, outhouse thugs. These violent rat bastards aren’t just tossing simple tear gas canisters at resisters – they’ve also been tossing out hexachloroethane (HC) smoke grenades. These produce highly toxic gaseous zinc chloride. It’s considered such a serious health hazard that the U.S. military phased it out decades ago because of its extreme toxicity. Even our military won’t use it but Trump’s team of ruthless, brutalizers have no such fucking qualms.

Anyway, normally I TOTALLY would NOT suggest shopping at Walmart BUT you can get a cute cordless leaf blower there for the low, low price of $39.90. 

•  Take videos of ICEholes and post them online. The mainstream media is not covering this horror show sufficiently. They are complicit. 

•. Offer sanctuary to people facing or fearing deportation. Don’t have a basement or an attic to hide them in? Maybe you have safe friends or acquaintances who do. Find out.

Drew Sheneman

•. It’s winter babies. Take a lesson from Minnesotans and coat those sidewalks with water. We’re due for a big storm here in New England starting on Sunday. We might get a foot or so of the white stuff. DON’T shovel. Let those sneaker-clad ICEholes freeze and fall on their asses.

The price of apathy in public affairs is to be ruled by evil men.
~ Plato

Another person was murdered at an ICE concentration camp. Geraldo Lunas Campos, a Cuban immigrant, died January 3rd. The guards said “father of four was attempting suicide and the staff tried to save him.” Sure Jan. In reality though...

…a witness told The Associated Press last week that Lunas Campos was handcuffed as at least five guards held him down and one put an arm around his neck and squeezed until he was unconscious. (source) 

So far this year, six people have died in ICE camps. 2026 is only three weeks old. This murder count doesn’t include those killed on the streets – Renee Good and Keith Porter Jr., to name just two. 

Investigative journalist Lila Hassan uncovered evidence that ICE are told that  

they are allowed to react with force to the threat of violence and not just violence itself.

The lesson describes the following as a myth: “Deadly force can only be used as a last resort.” Establishing that policy and law are not the same, the lesson goes on to say, “The law requires officers to use objectively reasonable force, not the minimal force.”

Giving a warning or using minimal force or all other forms of force before shooting, the training said, could “create an unnecessary risk for the officer”. (source) 

What this says to me is that they’re taught to shoot to kill (or otherwise use violence to kill) if they’re at all afraid.

Were Brian Palacios and Jonathan Ross afraid when the murdered, respectively, Keith Porter Jr. and Renee Good? Oh PLEASE. Like hell they were but I’m sure, like Crybaby Kyle, they’ll put up one hell of a show if they’re ever charged and brought to trial.  

Bullsh*t and Buns in Ovens

From what I’ve heard, the insane old, makeup spackled, pathologically insecure, vengeance seeking maniac in the White House (thanks Elon, protest and non-voters, MAGAts and other morons), gave a real WTF horror show, rambling speech yesterday. It was filled with his usual brand of bragging nonsense ('I could have been a professional baseball player,’ 'I was going to call it the Gulf of Trump') and easily fact-checked lies but ramped up to 11 or 13 or so….from what I’ve read anyway. I just read the highlights (lowlights) afterwards. My blood pressure can’t deal with being a real time spectator. I need a bit of distance. I’m sure you understand.

I’m reminded of the Carrie Fisher line in Postcards from the Edge when she wakes in rehab after an overdose. The doc is about to pump her stomach – she asks "Oh, do I have to be there?” Yeah, that’s how I feel about America right now. Do I have to be here?

Will Vance and the GOP (Guardians Of Pedophiles) snap out of it and 25th Amendment (section four, thenkyewveddymuch) his ass already? You know, before Pedo kicks off World War III? I mean, I get that eyeliner boy is wildly unpopular but c’mon now.

I understand the batshit rightwing isn’t known for appreciating how bad things can get. They’re all wealthy and pretty damn insulated from the consequences of their egregious choices. So, maybe they figure if they hold off on 25th Amendmenting the insane orange ass until September 20th, they’ll be golden.

Jack Ohma

Why September 20th? If JD takes over for Prez Pedo before that date, he will have served one full term as president and will only be eligible to run for president one more time (22nd Amendment limits). If the GOP waits until after September 20th, Vance can run for two more terms. Taking over from Orange Pedo after September 20th makes this current term NOT count as a full one. 

Republicans are risking plunging us into World War III, devastating the U.S. economy, decimating our reputation around the world for generations to come and for what?! JD Vance? A man so completely devoid of charisma and common sense, he makes Keith Moon, John Bonham, and Iggy Pop, at their wildest, most erratic, drugged out peak, look like polite, reserved, deeply contemplative, 12 dimensional chess playing boy scouts.

By the by, Moon, Bonham, and Pop would be FAR better bets for U.S. prez than JD, the soulless, power and money motivated lie machine. 

I’ve really gotta wonder (irresponsible not to speculate and all), is Usha and her always fabulating, sack of shit, couch molesting, VP husband’s baby news a way to soften and perhaps repair Vance’s absolute shitshow public image and horrendously low approval ratings? He’s not a MAGAt crowd-pleaser, despite all the ugly red meat he throws them. How is having another mixed race child (which those fecal brained nitwits assuredly think is a crime) going to make him more likeable to them? Is he hoping to pick up the hearts, minds, and votes of Independents, thinking they’ll see a baby, lose their minds in fits of sloppy sentimentality and completely forget who he is?

Roz Chast

I mean, that won’t work on folks with half a brain OR people who prefer wolves, feral cats, bears, and attack orcas to human babies. (Me, that won't work on me and 95% of the people I know)

Alternatively, could this baby possibly be a last ditch, pathetic effort to save the heart of Usha and JD’s relationship? An I’m-sorry-for-all-the-really-bad-press baby. 

He’s potentially apologizing for his myriad lies, inflammatory white supremacist rhetoric, his lost spine (IF he ever had one), that he became nothing more than a rightwing troll and puppet, that VERY public touchy feely action with poor Widow KKKirk, etc, etc. He’s sorry he humiliated her on the world stage? 

Doubt it. The man is just not self-aware or caring.

Whatever – I’ll never be convinced that Usha’s quickening bun is anything other than a publicity pregnancy.

So then, Karolying Leavitt, Katie Goebbels Miller, and Usha Vance are all up the spout at the same time. We’ve got a hat trick of anti-christ possibilities here, don’t we?

Question regarding who Usha’s sperm donor might be. Was it:

• James Donald Bowman?
• James David Hamel?
• James David Vance?
• J.D. Vance?
• JD Vance?
• VP Couchfucker?

We’ve got a lot of choices here.

Also, just curious but when will whale decapitating, heroin shooting, sewage swimming, bear corpse toting, dog eating, lying-ass RFK Jr.’s wife, Cheryl Hines and Melania announce their miracle geriatric pregnancies? 

You know, more MAGAts for the Fatherland! More cannon fodder for Prez Pedo's war against everyone.