Jellyfish and the Obscenity of War

 A brand-y new (to us human types) jellyfish with MAYBE shitloads of venom (in the bright red cross of its belly) and 240 tentacles has been discovered. It’s home is the hydrothermally active Sumisu Caldera near the Ogasawara Islands, 600 or so miles southeast of Tokyo. 

Ogasawara, by the by, consists of more than 30 subtropical and tropical islands. Only two, Chichijima and Hahajima, have human occupants—2,600 of 'em.

The St George's Cross Medusa’s science name is Santjordia pagesi.

…researchers named the marine animal "Santjordia pagesi" after the Cross of St. George because of the striking X. The "pagesi" suffix was given in honor of the late Dr. Francesc Pagès, a jellyfish taxonomist. (source) 

We’ll call them Fran though.

I only mention it but the Ogasawara Islands include Iwo Jima (now known as Iōtō—硫黄島, "Sulfur Island"). You remember Iwo Jima don'cha? It was the locale of one of World War II's nasty Pyrrhic victories. This small volcanic island was the site of 24,053 American casualties. Of those, 6,140 died.

"For every plot of ground the size of a football field, an average of more than one American and five Japanese were killed and five Americans wounded.”
~ historian Dr. Norman Cooper

Approximately 22,000 Japanese soldiers and sailors were killed. Only 216 Japanese humans, 0.98%, survived and were taken prisoner.

In 36 measly-ass days, on an island slightly smaller than Salem, Massachusetts (8.28 sq mi—compare that to Boston, the second smallest U.S. major city, at 48.4 square miles), more than 28,000 people died heinously and violently. That’s enough dead humans to fill a college football stadium.

RAH RAH SIS BOOM BAH GO USA, USA!

Back to Fran though—who needs science fiction when we have reality? Me. I need sci fi and I'd be awfully grateful if Mister John Scalzi would come out with a new book soon (NOW would be nice).

 In the meantime, I’m gonna dive into Sy Montgomery’s The Soul of an Octopus.

In pursuit of the wild, solitary, predatory octopus, popular naturalist Sy Montgomery has practiced true immersion journalism. From New England aquarium tanks to the reefs of French Polynesia and the Gulf of Mexico, she has befriended octopuses with strikingly different personalities—gentle Athena, assertive Octavia, curious Kali, and joyful Karma. Each creature shows her cleverness in myriad ways: escaping enclosures like an orangutan; jetting water to bounce balls; and endlessly tricking companions with multiple “sleights of hand” to get food.

Scientists have only recently accepted the intelligence of dogs, birds, and chimpanzees but now are watching octopuses solve problems and are trying to decipher the meaning of the animal’s color-changing techniques. With her “joyful passion for these intelligent and fascinating creatures” (Library Journal Editors’ Spring Pick), Montgomery chronicles the growing appreciation of this mollusk as she tells a unique love story. By turns funny, entertaining, touching, and profound, The Soul of an Octopus reveals what octopuses can teach us about the meeting of two very different minds. (source)

Yeah baby, bring it ON!

Let’s Get Beachy!

Or not. There are a ton of reasons to go down to the water but do some damn googling before you go! Here are some places to avoid.

Most Polluted (trash, oil spills, plastic and human poop)—Worldwide

• Freedom Island - Manila, Philippines
• Kuta Beach, Indonesia
• Guanabara Bay Beaches, Brazil
• Fujiazhuang Beach - Dalian, China
• Kamilo Beach - Naalehu, Hawaii

Most Polluted—U.S.

• Avalon Beach, California
• Ropes Park, Texas
• Cabrillo Beach Station, California
• Villa Angela State Park, Ohio
• Keaton Beach, Florida

Earth.com has a post up—Half of America’s beaches contain alarming levels of fecal contamination. Wow.

The worst offenders?

The Southern states, namely Florida, Texas, and Louisiana, proved to be the worst offenders. Up to 84 percent of their beaches experienced at least one day in 2022 where the water was contaminated with fecal matter.

More on Texas:

Environment Texas found 90% of Texas beaches tested positive for unsafe levels of fecal bacteria on one or more occasions. (source)

What about here in Massachusetts? We have a ton of public beaches here. Hello, Cape Cod anyone? Also, there’s the front yard here in Valhalla. Happily, none of my favorite places made the bad list.

People—ya know, us human types—are the cause of all the trashed and pooped up beaches. It follows then that the more crowded the waterfront the more garbage and fecal matter there will be.

Most Crowded Beaches—Worldwide

• Dameisha Bathing Beach, Shenzhen, China
• Dalian, China
• Ipanema Beach, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
• Magaluf, Majorca, Spain
• Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia

Most Crowded Beaches—U.S.

• South Beach, Florida
• Huntington Beach, California
• Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
• Ocean City, Maryland
• Gulf Shores, Alabama

How about sharks? Remember, the water is THEIR home not ours. They mega-graciously share but sometimes our big, sharp-toothed fishy friends get annoyed with us. Honestly, can ya blame them?

Top Shark-Infested Beaches—Worldwide

• New Smyrna Beach, Florida
• Makena Beach, Maui
• Bolinas, California
• Lake Nicaragua, Nicaragua
• West End, Grand Bahamas

The top three party beaches for sharks are in the U.S. What do I make of this? Americans are irritating as all hell and our ocean dwelling friends can hardly be blamed. Also, shark attacks are low (chance of an U.S. citizen being attacked by shark attack is about 1 in 3.7 million) but not zero.

U.S. beaches to avoid if you want to lower the risk of being lunch?

• Volusia County, Florida
• Brevard County, Florida
• Palm Beach, Florida
• Mauii, Hawaii
• Oahu, Hawaii

Basically, avoid Florida.

How about crime? What are the top U.S. beaches to hit if you want to be robbed, assaulted or otherwise crimed?

• Venice Beach, California
• Daytona Beach, Florida
• Waikiki Beach, Hawaii
• Siesta Beach on Siesta Key in Florida
• Carlsbad Beach, California

Meanwhile, in Virginia Beach, roving gangs of feral hogs, descendants of domesticated pigs brought over by English immigrants in the 1600s, are wilding. At a guess, they’re after fresh crabs—I mean, who doesn’t like a fresh crab meat sandwich on toasted sourdough?

If you’re taking the tots on a beach holiday this month, check the reports before you dive into feces infested waters.

Yur welcome.

Poseidon Adventure

Did you read about the recent dolphin attacks on humans off Suishohama beach in Japan?

Signs have been put up telling swimmers to avoid approaching or touching the mammals.

While dolphins are not usually aggressive to humans, hostility towards swimmers is not unheard of.

Scientists have suggested that wild bottlenose dolphins find swimming alongside humans "incredibly stressful," finding evidence that it disrupts their behavioural routines.

In the Republic of Ireland, two women were injured in the space of ten days in 2013 by the same dolphin, including one who suffered from a broken rib.
A year later five swimmers had to be rescued off the Irish coast when a dolphin encircled them aggressively. (source) 

We have orcas attacking yachts, otters commandeering surfboards and now dolphins are going full blown mano a mano. Clearly the residents of the sea are mad as hell and not taking our shit anymore. Who could possibly blame them? Not I!

By the by, otters live on land and in the water. A couple years back, a gang of 20 otters (possibly pissed off at a jogger who had just run through their gathering) attacked a man who had the misfortune of walking by the group moments after the rude runner. You know, we humans all look alike to other earth occupants AND we're a famously assholic species—who could fault the otters for standing their ground? Not yurs truly!

In that same year there was a series of otter gang attacks on humans and dogs in Alaska.

Most otters never display this strong a reaction to dogs or people. By and large, they are curious animals, but not typically aggressive toward people or dogs," Battle said. "It’s possible there was some sort of incident involving a dog that led them down this path, after which the otters learned to take aggressive action against dogs, but it’s impossible to say." (source)

Recommendations on what to do in case of an orca attack? Stop the boat, leave the rudder loose (orcas just love rudders), radio for help and stay calm. I have a better idea, keep your goddamn yachts out of the motherfucking ocean! Surfers? Stay away from otter beaches. If you’re on land and happen on an otter gathering? Walk the other way! Give the wee beasties space fer fuck’s sake. Otters are adorable as all hell but they’re not anything like your precious, fluffy Bichon Frise. Don't expect that cutesy bullshit from them.

Dolphins, in case you were unaware, are not like Flipper or those trained slaves that you may’ve seen at SeaWorld. They may appear to be smiling and happy but they’re totes not. How would you feel about being taken from your home, held against your will and cruelly trained to perform tricks? Not all happy/smiley, I'm guessing.

Dolphins in captivity are often subjected to physical and psychological abuse in order to make them perform the tricks they are trained to do. In some cases, the dolphins may be deprived of food or water in order to make them perform better. (source)

Here in Valhalla, we’re all completely down with our beleaguered sea brethren. In fact, Ten and I have been discussing a possible move to Atlantis. Sadly though, on googling, I’ve found that Atlantis may be fictional. This is NOT what Marvel Comics has lead me to believe. I need to speak to the manager about this posthaste!

Maybe I could send an email directly to Poseidon? Ya know, I could petition him for an entry visa or something.

Orcas On the Move!

Our whaley buds are expanding their game from the area around the Straits of Gibraltar and Portugal to points north.

Specifically, they’ve hit another rich man’s tub in the North Sea between the Shetland Islands and Norway.

They (the orcas) learn matrilineally, and post-menopausal females assume the greatest importance in individual pods. “Grandmothers” in the Iberian population of whales have been seen observing during the interactions with yachts and other vessels.

GO Grammy Orca!

Dr Alfredo López, of the Grupo de Trabajo Orca Atlántica in Portugal thinks “that human activities, even in an indirect way, are at the origin of this behaviour”. Increased marine traffic, dwindling food sources, warming seas and noise pollution could all play a part. (source)

By the by, Mr. Rich Yacht Dude is fine but his boat might be a bit beat up. I imagine he’ll have no trouble getting it repaired or buying a new one.

Since the 1989 Exxon Valdez oil spill the population of Transient killer whales, in the northeastern Pacific, has gone from 22 to seven. SEVEN! Man, I’m not even part killer whale and I’m totally pissed!

Did you know that:

• Orcas are the largest member of the dolphin family.
  

• Lady orcas can live to be 50 or as much as 90+ years old. Dudes manage 30 to 60+ years. 
  

• Though their lifespan is similar to humans, lady orcas start baby-making when they’re six to ten years old. Their prego period is 17 months long. Jesus Gestating Christ, imagine being up the spout for a year and a half!!! 
  

• Boys don’t start donating sperm until they’re ten to thirteen years old. 
  

• Orcas have their own language. They communicate through a range of clicks, whistles, pulsed calls, squeals, squeaks and screams. Don't you think that Orca should be a language option in high schools? French, Spanish, German and Orca. Yup.
  

• Our sleek pals have 100 pointed teeth which they use to grab and off prey.

There haven’t been any reports of attacks by angry, roving killer whale pods around my neck of the ocean (YET!) however:

The first orca spotting was off the coast of Provincetown Sunday, the singular male the only killer whale regularly seen in North Atlantic waters. But later the same day a rare pod was spotted around Nantucket. (source)

Back in May, two dozen of our friends were spotted off the coast of San Francisco. There were no reports of yacht attacks—maybe this was just a big family reunion OR it was a planning session.

The marine revolution has begun and I am so here for it!

Water

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water.
~ Loren Eiseley

Water does not resist. Water flows. When you plunge your hand into it, all you feel is a caress. Water is not a solid wall, it will not stop you. But water always goes where it wants to go, and nothing in the end can stand against it. Water is patient. Dripping water wears away a stone. Remember that, my child. Remember you are half water. If you can't go through an obstacle, go around it. Water does.
~ Margaret Atwood, The Penelopiad

They both listened silently to the water, which to them was not just water, but the voice of life, the voice of Being, the voice of perpetual Becoming.
~ Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha

These things you keep
You'd better throw them away
You wanna turn your back
On your soulless days
Once you were tethered
Well now you are free
That was the river
This is the sea!
~ The Waterboys

High and fine literature is wine, and mine is only water; but everybody likes water.
~ Mark Twain